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Thread: Transformation services selling acceptance?

  1. #26
    I live in the real world! DaphneGrey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaSF View Post
    Transformation services are selling the first-step on a long path; a positive experience/the start of gaining confidence, and SELF-acceptance...

    Well, in all, I feel the overcharging for makeover services ends up being money well spent, if it gets you on the road to embracing your femme side, and gradually integrating it more fully into your life. A few hundred dollars pales in comparison to the drink tabs & dinner checks for hundreds of evenings out, as well as, if you're able to, filling a walk-in closet with womens clothing & shoes!

    I think they're a logical starting point, and there are several responses to those that start that way:
    1. A "one-time" bucket list sorts thing; OK I've had a makeover, and take it no further
    2. The most common, I think, response is gaining some confidence & skills (key here is to start going out dressed, many services can provide that, too, and arguably a beter value for money, than simply the makeovers, since going out is so much a mental, vs. a practical/how-to sort of barrier) and moving on from them, once you realize your'e overpaying for substandard items.
    3. Some t-gals stay/relish, and such spots are the full extent of how they embrace their femme side (perhaps lumping in support groups & conventions in here, too).

    "Fresh Blood" is the key to beng able to eke out some income from these services. I've found you're often at the "mercy" of whoever is doing your makeover, but since you don't yet know what works/looks best on you, its still a decent starting point.

    What with Internet shopping, and the current economy, think things will get even tougher for these places (youtube makeup how-to's can substitute a bit, and think younger people, who often are the SAs, are more accepting, so we'll see gradual changes).

    While I no longer use these sorts of places, I don't hold any grudges against them- they can often "leap-frog" years of flailing/trial & error, so they do have their place! Since traffic is so much slower, they essentially are forced to charge more, to keep the doors open.

    Far too many newbies seem to think us accomplished gals are interested and willing in givng them makeovers, I quickly dissaude them of that notion, and often offer to meet them at the salon, after their makeovers! Spending some bux, vs. ending up not going out, seems a worthwhile trade-off, in the big scheme of things!

    Some also make an effort to try and "tone-down" the common hooker/faux**** goals of many newbies, so those going out are served well, by this, too, if blending/passability are concerns (vs. "shock factor" sorts).

    Just because you have been out does not make you an expert on being trans and what newbies want or need. I would rather meet my girlfriends before their makeovers, help them feel pretty, and good about themselves. And then take them out.

    Perhaps you shouldn't generalize about what other girls are willing to do.

    I have been living! my bi gender existence for years. Happen to be pretty good at thank you and have no problem helping out newbies.

    The one thing I never lost site of on this journey was how hard it was and is, or the pain financial and emotional that I suffered allowing myself to be preyed on on by these transformation businesses. And the CD friendly internet sales sites as well! I if I can help spare a girl some or all of that I will.

    And just to clarify, Daphne is one hundred percent out of the closet! I work, go to the bank, the market, the beauty salon, and any other place I please in broad daylight. My neighbors know me, As well as they know my male self. And I have had more interaction with the real world, than any other girl I have met personally, and most but not all of the girls I have met online. Indeed I meet more people and make more friends as Daphne than I do in my male existence. I pass all the time, not so much on looks, but on attitude, body language, posture, voice, figure (my own by the way, no silicone) and making a true and honest effort. I have spent countless hours developing my female self and integrating her with my male personality.

    Don't get me wrong I am happy for you and everyone else who has found the courage and strength it takes to pursue their lives and eek out a bit of happiness in a society that at best treats us as an oddity, and its worst ,well thats another thread. I want you and every other girl to be safe and happy.

    Let me fill you in on something Paula, as much fun and empowering as it is to go on outings to trendy nightclubs after dark, flirt with trannie chasers at fetish and goth clubs in the most liberal gay friendly city in the world can be, (bought the Tshirt) It just does not impress me that much. I am glad you do it and I hope it makes you happy. So I don't say that to hurt you, I say it because its the truth. I am sure it is very impressive to someone who has never been out, who might herself be a role model for someone who has only underdressed. Indeed there are many girls on this site who are much further along, who don't look up to me. You I and every girl on this site has been there, longing for the moment when we would find the courage to take the next step. Climb the next hill.

    Gender variant life is a life of fear, firsts, and apprehension. And for many Triumph.

    These predators sell the snake oil cure for this fear. And I happen know they are not needed at least around here. What the new girls need is support encouragement and honesty

    Your I am better than the newbie/ I am an accomplished gal attitude only makes it worse.

    Try not to forget where you came from, you were a baby girl once too.

    Don't include me in your little look how great I am club.
    Do send me all the newbies you find that you are to good to help.
    And don't even think of barking up my skirt about being advanced!

    Your pretty, and accomplished yes and you should be proud of that. And I wish you the best.
    Last edited by DaphneGrey; 03-16-2009 at 06:24 AM.
    Living the life I choose!

  2. #27
    Tamara Ann Valla tamarav's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Pacific Northwest
    [SIZE=4]Something about this thread really bothered me, selling "acceptance". I attempted to write a response and found that no other voice was going to be listened to by the original poster. She had spoken, (and still is for that matter) the rest of the opinions are simply filler and justification for some sort of personal problem.[/SIZE]

    I am a licensed Cosmetologist (hair stylist, not cosmonaut), work as a hair and wig stylist, makeup artist and permanent makeup artist, dressed as you see in my avatar and albums.

    My web site

    I have over 2,500 pictures on my Flicker site located at

  3. #28
    I live in the real world! DaphneGrey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Quote Originally Posted by tamarav View Post
    [SIZE=4]Something about this thread really bothered me, selling "acceptance". I attempted to write a response and found that no other voice was going to be listened to by the original poster. She had spoken, (and still is for that matter) the rest of the opinions are simply filler and justification for some sort of personal problem.[/SIZE]
    I listened to your views, And I agree with some of them, as a matter of fact I agree with quite a few of views within the posts of the members. but all one has to do is google MTF transformations and you will find the services I am talking about. They are taking substandard service and merchandise and overcharging for it. And they are getting away with it because they convince new CDs they want to be there friends etc. I have no problem with you or any other licensed professional charging what you think you are worth or even what the market will bear. I respect your right to sell transformations and charge whatever you will for them. You are obviously very talented and I am sure your customers appreciate you, And you have every right to make a nice living.

    The services I am talking about do not nearly have your level of skill, and in many cases are not even licensed. As a professional stylist who does both, I would have thought the Idea of an unlicensed improperly trained person claiming to be a stylist/gender therapy expert/best ggfriend taking advantage of people in our community, while taking away legitimate business from people like you, might be a little upsetting.

    There are several things about these services that I disagree with. And yes it is personal. And perhaps I am being to jaded but I stand by my comments as well. We may disagree but I did not mean to offend you.
    Last edited by DaphneGrey; 03-17-2009 at 05:19 AM.
    Living the life I choose!

  4. #29
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Dear Tammy,
    Looking to your detailed description ,I have an imression that you are the only genunien person will give justice to our requirements & fantasy enjoyable. Cost may not be the factor against your efforts/hard work & offcourse the time spend b/h it. Pl.give your comments / advise.

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