Im a newbie gg, trying to figure out things and to support my loved one.
When we talked about how often we set boundaries within my comfort zone, I love him so much for that. I just want him to be happy and maybe understand why sometimes he has the "urge" and want a bit more time than agreed. I understand frequency vary form person to person, likes and dislikes, lifestyles..etc
With all respect, I would like to learn from other point of views, how often you CD?
Often enough that my wife thinks it is strange if I'm not wearing a skirt at home.Originally Posted by Mrs. X (gg)
I look like a Girl
With Makeup on my Face
In Reality
A cute Kitty I am!
dressing.
Personally, I'm wearing women's clothes all the time. Mostly pants and femme shirts/tops(with a varied range of undergarments including bras, panties, tights, etc.), so it's not really obvious. At home I'll often wear skirts. And for night play, often really fun stuff.
How I'm dressed really depends on what I'm going to do, and with whom I'm going to do it.
So, in a general sense, all the time because that feels natural to me. In a sense of getting "dolled up", not so often, but certainly 1-3 times/wk. Would be more if we lived somewhere more liberal.
My wife has no issue with the whole thing.
Love will find its own way through.
MRS. X GG - boy did you ever post a good question - my Spouse tolerates
my crossdressing with boundaries consisting of no shaving my bodyhair, no
going out in public, and no wearing feminine clothing in the marital bed.
Well, I have gone out in public years ago and I have worn nightgowns to bed
years ago (but not right now) My main problem lately has been with body
hair - I absolutely - positively detest my body hair. I have all my life - years
ago I shaved it all off - when it started growing back, the stubble felt so bad
that I gave that up. However, I want my presentation to be as authentic as
I can make it - I don't want to be hairy woman in the circus. Anyway, as
fate would have it, I started plucking the hair off my legs and arms - this
led to a horrendous explosion by my Spouse - and I'm still feeling the after
effects - WHY DID I DO IT ? BECAUSE my desire and need to let this
Feminine part of me (JoAnne) out is so strong that I can't seem to stop or
don't want to stop, even when I know that I am going to catch hell over it.
I want JoAnne to have the chance to be as feminine as I can make her -
and my desires are sometimes stronger than my judgment.
JoAnne Wheeler
"I'm an all American Bluegrass Girl and Proud As I Can Be"
Mrs. X it is so very nice that you care enough to ask a question like that, Now for myself who is living alone for a while ( my son is in the army and going to Iraq ) Let me say first that the urge never really goes away it is always there but there are times when you need to use control and not do it . Now I try to dress at LEAST once a week Friday and SATURDAY. I hope this helps .
Gale
For me it varies widely. Sometimes it's full time 24/7. Sometimes It will be months in between. lately there has been a lot of grey in this area. That might have something to do with my wife keeping it really hot in the house while its snowing so much and I'm way too hot. Easiest coolest clothes I have are skirts and blouses.
Find out how much she has done it in the past and how much she'd like to in the future. See if it works for you. If it doesnt. Talk about it
Quite honestly my wife would prefer if i did just commit to being a female full time permanently. She knows Im always going to switch back and forth though.
We're all gonna be different, Mystery Woman!
It's gonna depend on your status at home...alone or partnered or partnered with kids...
The amount of femme time changes with each individual, too. Sometimes you don't need it or want it for days...or weeks...or months (ew!). Then when something clicks, a celebration or a stressful period or "who knows why", then it's a full on "pink fog' immersion that demands it as close to 24/7 as you can get.
Ain't no schedule for most of us, hunny! But if we do keep to a schedule, like alternate tuesdays and saturdays in months with an 'a' or an 'e'...or a 'u'...(
So if you're thinking of negotiating a schedule with your sweetie, sometimes it'll be enough...but sometimes it just won't. Hormones, phases of the moon, tidal surge, barometric pressure, whatever!
Ideally, if he's listening to you, darlin', you are in control. But be a kind and gentle mistress, who's willing to negotiate.
Golly, I hope this guy doesn't piss you off, 'cos you are a treasure!
Me? I'm pencilled in for every Saturday evening and every Sunday evening photo night for the next millenium (or until I retire...then it's as much as I can afford in time and space!)
Last edited by deja true; 03-10-2009 at 02:10 PM.
Hi good question, in my case i wear them all the time, and my wife doesn't mind, with certain boundaries.
i always wear panties, and women pants and shirts as long as they don't look too feminine, you know like cargo pants jeans not too tight, etc.
although she doesn't like me wearing girly pink stuff although is my fav color, for this i only dress in full feme when i'm alone at home.
Debs and I live 300 miles apart (at the moment soon to change) but she cna be 3,4,5 nights in a row or one night a week .. depends on how he feels and or he/we have summat else planned ... like the weekends he has come up here he will make sure he spends time with his kids midweek and the night before he drives up he does not do Debs.
Sometimes it is just nice ro be D*** & sheila on cam, other nights it is just as nice to be Debs & Sheila on cam.
When we (J & I) move down I would imagine not a lot will change
I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me
That's a good question and it's nice to see that you care about him so much. For me, it was always a sort of stress-aid. Eventually it became more of a habit or more for fun and well, I won't delve into the further deep possible psychological reasoning behind it. Anyway, there were times where I wanted to dress all the time and there have been times that I haven't wanted to dress at all. The time period and the frequency always has varied and it depends what else is going on in my life.
What may be a suggestion is to ask him why he does it or why he thinks he may like dressing so much. If it's anything similar to something that I've mentioned about me, then you may be more apt to notice what's going on when he wants to dress a bit more than you originally agreed. Just remember- whatever his reasons are, are his reasons.
I can't say for those who are married, since I'm single, but I feel for those who have limitations.
Me, I can dress pretty much at any time, but I dress mostly on the weekends.
However, I do dress during the week if I have a day off here and there.
Hugs!
JoAnn
I love to see a beautiful woman in a nice dress, but then again, I also want to wear that dress.
Firstly, I want to congratulate you on being the type of person that can see cding for what it is, and feeling that love is love. You are a rare and wonderful find. Your husband is a lucky man in that respect.
It (the need) WILL be different depending on marital status, acceptance/tolerance level, personal needs, and opportunity.
My wife "tolerates" my cding. She would prefer me not doing it at all. Whatever I do I am not allowed to dress in front of her and the kids, etc. Nor does she like me talking about it. Because of this, I go out dressed 2-4 times a month fully dressed. This is not a compromise. If I didn't go ahead and just do it, I would be doing no cding at all...so.... I do underdress often, but not all the time. If she was accepting or at least a little more tolerant, I doubt that I would go out any more, but would probably wear some feminine things occasionally around the house.
I think what is also important is to ascertain what your husband's ideas are along the lines of the question you asked. Does he know where he is heading or have an idea? Or is he just enjoying himself "in the moment"? Is it sexual, or "just being"? Once you guys figure that out, you will have a better idea of what he wants or think he wants, and what you want or think you want. Then, you can make agreements that you both are comfortable with, hopefully.
Best of luck to you both!!!!
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
How often would really depend on what the level of dress is. I tend to dress a couple of days a week. When I spend the night or weekend at my GF's I am usually full femme. So I guess the answer would be 2-3 days a week.
Nice to know how much you respect your SO.
Everyone's "Trans" is different. For me, how often I dress is as much a time management/convenience issue as anything else.
I'll wear girly stuff around the house on a regular basis...leggings and a t-shirt, girls jeans, that sort of thing. But it's honestly a hassle a lot the time to go "full femme"...at the end of a day at work, I don't want to bother with doing my makeup and such.
So to answer your question...I would probably dress every day, in that I would present as female if it was an option, but since I don't live full time I actually dress completely fairly infrequently...usually less than once a week. I do usually manage to integrate girl's clothes into my boy wardrobe...in particular pants, some shirts, hosiery, etc...today's work outfit is a sweater and pants from Ann Taylor Loft, for example...a girl silhouette except for the boring clunky boy shoes.
"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "
- Anais Nin
I to am single but dress litterally everyday but some of those times one would say is very casual. Jeans top and little makeup would be the norm for around the house doing chores. When I go out and get away I dress fully. Keli
Had boundaries, and that was fine for a while. When I went beyond the boundaries, it almost broke up our 40 years of wedded bliss.(spent three months in "dry dock") So our agreements had to change, albeit that I pushed the issue (almost too far). We now have our wedded bliss back, but dressing is still a sore subject. Let's say she tollerates it. Can do anything I want in the house. Going outside the house is where her tollerance comes in. I'm allowed, but not with her blessing. I dress fully some part of every day and partially all day of every day.
My wife fears I will fall into harms way when I go out. She also fears my son-in-law (the minister) will find out and refuse to let us see the grandkids. Some how, the force that drives me to CD, makes the risk takeable.
Hope I've helped and not further confused the issue for you. Anna Kate
I have some sort of femme gear on almost all the time. There are times though when I need to be part man part woman, strictly for my fiancée’s piece of mind, on those days I will wear a skirt, pantyhose, man t-shirt and nothing else. There is also the days where she wants nothing to do with Gretchen at all, so she tells me so and I comply. Not even panties on those days. I still get to keep my toes painted though. It works very well and we are both happy. Communication is the key.
...you asked.
Every day. I have to wear man clothes at work for the time being. But at home I'm more often than not presenting as my preferred gender.
LOL. I think you might as well have asked, "how long is a piece of string?". There's one answer for each and every CD / TS posting here
Sarah...
It's the same with me.
All day, every day
Mirani - [meer-rahn-nee] Beauty to Behold; to "See" beauty
Mrs x,
Thank you for your interest and understanding. I am not so fortunate as to have an SO like you.
I think if I could choose with complete freedom, I'd wear something (but not necessarily sexy) to bed everynight, underdress (panties) about 1/2 the time, and dress maybe once every one or two weeks.
I dress whenever i feel like it.
Sometimes once a week, sometimes several times a week, it just depends on how i feel and what else is happening in my life.
During the summer months i often don't dress for several weeks at a time as my guy hobbies tend to dominate my thinking more.
My wife tolerates my CDing, not exactly enthusiastic but is quite happy to see Ruth pottering around the house. We have compromised on me dressing fully 4 evenings a week. She has no objections to body, leg and arm shaving, make-up and perfume (whilst en femme), or painted toenails 24/7.
I think she regards it (rightly) as something I have to do. I'd say we have a closer and more loving relationship since I came out to her a few years ago.
[SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]
Mrs X said - "Gurlz...lets talk about frequency "
Eww, don't mention frequency...it's a world of Hertz
As a bare minimum I'm always underdressed, no matter what I'm doing and I almost always have female accessories such as bangles, shoulder bag, nail polish and so on. Best way to think of me is a girl who sometimes wears male clothing for practical reasons rather than a boy who sometimes wears female clothing for whatever reason
So frequency-wise I'd say 99.9% of the time I'll have something female on and maybe 50% of each day I'll be wearing nothing but female stuff. Oh and I sleep in female night stuff too so that probably pushes the numbers up a bit. Actually I have so little in the way of male clothing now that I'd struggle to put more than a couple of outfits together and even then I'd have no male underwear to go underneath it
My crossdressing desire comes and goes. I have times that I feel the need often, and dress often. Other times I go for months and never dress, although I think about it occasionally. My wife and I have rules we both agreed on. Out of my love and respect for her, I never break those rules.
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