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Thread: Slowly coming out of the closet...

  1. 03-20-2009, 03:27 PM #1
    IMJenn
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    Slowly coming out of the closet...

    Coming out of the closet is something I've never planned to do, and I don't think I will ever be fully out of the closet. However, my girlfriend is very accepting and encouraging, and helped me to go to my first diner as Jenn. We plan to go see a movie in a few days the same way. It's amazing how much she loves it.

    However...she is in England currently. I do not currently live with her, but my Jenn items do. Her mom(whom she still lives with) found my wig in her room. So now her mom, in addition to her sister know. At this point no one in my family knew.

    So the other day I told my sister, and she liked it. I don't plan on telling anyone else anytime soon, so things should stabilize for me.

    I'm just getting very nervous that things are piling up very quickly and that I will end up out of the closet without intending to. Am I being too paranoid?
    Just trying to find my place in the world
  2. 03-20-2009, 03:31 PM #2
    Kathi Lake
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    Jenn,

    I thought I heard a closet door creak!

    I think you made the right choice. Your girlfriend knows from the beginning? Check! Her mother and sister knows due to an unfortunate accident? Check! You've told one member of your family? Check! Way to go!

    I would wait to tell others for now and see how this plays out. We welcome you and eagerly await the tales of your exploits now that you're out and about.

    Kathi
  3. 03-20-2009, 03:34 PM #3
    charlie
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    Hello Jenn!
    For someone deep in the closet so have told lots of people! I don't think you are in the closet any longer. It also sounds like you are out and enjoying the outside air! So glad to hear that you have a confederate (your SO) who helps and encourages you. Life is good as Jenn and you together!
    Charlie
  4. 03-20-2009, 03:38 PM #4
    Starling
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    It seems to me, Jenn, that you are blooming so organically that if you ever "come out" officially, your friends will greet your announcement with smiles and yawns. Which is just about perfect, in my book.

    Lallie
    Time for a change.
  5. 03-20-2009, 04:35 PM #5
    Kayla Shadows
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    I can understand your nervousness.Things are going well right now and you can be happy for that.At one time I thought I would never be out to anyone.Then it happened and I felt a big weight lifted off of me.It changed how I think too.I didnt want to hide as much so I let other people in on it.Figured that they may as well know me as me.Im at that edge where I know with one action I can have things pile up very quickly.Still have a lot of decisions but when it does happen,I think I will be better off.
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  6. 03-20-2009, 04:40 PM #6
    Shannon
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    It seems things are going well, but at a pace that may seem faster than you would have imagined. Others are being supportive and accepting. Each time the door opens up a bit more, you are gaining confidence and seem comfortable. I would think you would be enjoying a liberating experience.
  7. 03-20-2009, 04:47 PM #7
    Noxvictum
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    Lol, at least all is well
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  8. 03-20-2009, 06:14 PM #8
    Gabrielle Hermosa
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    Did I read that right? Are your "Jenn items" in England? Are you Jenn-less right now? I really wouldn't do well if my femme things were so far away and unavailable to me.

    In regard to your coming out: Intentional or not, it seems that everyone so far is very accepting of you. I think that's wonderful!

    Whether or not you choose to come out to more of your family is up to you, but I don't think there's any reason to be upset about those who know already. I'd be very happy with the results so far if I were you.

    I think yes, you're just being too paranoid. And that's coming from a girl who's only out to my own wife. Guess I'm even more paranoid.

    You're doing good though, Jenn. I wouldn't dwell on the subject for now. I think in time you'll get more comfortable being out to who already knows and that will pave the way for you to come out more (and be comfortable with it), should you choose to.
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  9. 03-20-2009, 06:32 PM #9
    Leslie Mary S
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    Remember two old saying:
    The only truly kept secret is the one that only you know (and never tell anyone else.)

    Fastest forms of communications:
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    Tell a woman er gossip.

    Leslie
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  10. 03-20-2009, 08:49 PM #10
    IMJenn
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gabrielle Hermosa View Post
    Did I read that right? Are your "Jenn items" in England? Are you Jenn-less right now? I really wouldn't do well if my femme things were so far away and unavailable to me.
    My Jenn items are fortunately still in Jersey, however...they are in her house, to which I do not have a key. So I am without Jenn for 10 days. (Well, she comes back tomorrow, but it was a ten day total vacation)

    Thank you all for the support about being out of the closet. I know that I cannot fully come out, for I teach at a martial arts school (not my own) and know that if I were to be out of the closet to all, I would more than likely be asked to stop teaching, which is a horrible revelation for me. Next to Jenn, it is the most comforting thing in the world for me. (Ironic huh? I love fighting)

    I will take all advice as far as going slowly with this, and you all may hear from me again in a similar fashion to this thread.
    Just trying to find my place in the world
  11. 03-20-2009, 08:59 PM #11
    rlars1
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    not paranoid just a normal cder

    My husband has only told me and has no intention of telling anyone else. It is a very personal decision, So take some time to adjust to those who do know and enjoy the fact that you can share it with someone. Sometimes it is out of your hands. I know it was a real relief to my husband to be able to share. It is good that you found someone who is accepting.
    Yes, he is a man and yes, he is wearing a skirt. Isn't he adorable.
  12. 03-20-2009, 09:49 PM #12
    Jenniferpl
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    You will find it more satisifying to be around people that know, accept and support you. Enjoy the journey girl.
    If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
  13. 03-20-2009, 10:01 PM #13
    leslie ann
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    good for you jenn you are a queen bee being honest and open haha 10 days no clothes just kidding
  14. 03-20-2009, 10:10 PM #14
    TJ Tresa
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    Good going. It's good that your girl friend knows. My wife knows and one of her girl friends and no one else. I'm just not ready for anyone else yet. Congradulations and have fun.
  15. 03-20-2009, 11:06 PM #15
    PanteeQueen
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    Looks like you got a stocking clad foot out the door!!
  16. 03-20-2009, 11:33 PM #16
    brit_cd
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    Well from what i see u r a very pretty gurl!! You are way ahead of me and i have been dressing for about 22 years. Good luck and i hope i can catch up!!
  17. 03-21-2009, 01:04 PM #17
    JoAnne Wheeler
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    WOW ! What a situation you lucked into ! Supportive GF - Supportive

    potential mother-in-law - supportive real sister - Life is good for you !


    JoAnne Wheeler
    "I'm an all American Bluegrass Girl and Proud As I Can Be"
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