What would we have been like?

[Kelli Michelle]

I was out of town with the family last week, staying in a hotel. I was watching some young girls (9 ish I'd say) swimming in the pool with their parents watching. It was sorta a bitter sweet moment for me. Though I have enjoyed my male life immensely, I couldn't help but wonder, what it would have been like to be raised a girl; learning about feminine deportment, having pajama parties, learning make up, etc. Would I have turned out to be the kind of person I am now (I think "sorta")? Or would I have been a masculine-traited female, or what? I was thinking about all the rites of passage that all girls go through in life, and it made me kind of sad.

It's hard to know what we would would have been like. Some of us haven't been out of the closet often enough or long enough to really know. Once we do, it's like packing years of female maturity into a short space. Most of us at least start out in a much younger dressing vein, than move on to more mature dress, basically emulating the growing up stages of a female.

I admit, I have enjoyed the stages (still dress a little younger than my yrs. so sue me---lol). I am still finding out more and more about myself, everyday. I think I am progressing, but still am not sure where I am headed.

What do you ladies think? If you had been raised as a girls, or at least started fully dressing, etc. at an early age, do you think you would be the same now? Or more confident, more caring, empathetic? How would the experience (in your own mind) have made you different?

[Lisa Golightly]

I think I'd be pretty much as I am, but perhaps not quite as bashful and shy

[Lorileah]

That is really a hard question to answer. So much of who we are is determined by little life experiences.

I know what I would have liked to have had happen and some of my life experiences do mold these. I think I would have been semi-athletic but not a tomboy. I would have been shall I say a little promiscuous (since I am a flirt now) and would have gone through many boyfriends, but not a total....you know. I would have been a feminist and pushed for my rights (which I should do now but I don't). I like you love dressing sexy showing off my legs so even though I would have pushed for equal rights I would still dress femininly usually (in otherwords NO Sweats) so that I looked like a lady and not the bag kind.

To be honest recently I have daydreamed like you are. But here's what I see that I wouldn't want to be growing up female (except things looked different in the 70's). First I hate the "giggles" and I don't like girls who consider boys immature when in fact the girls are just as often immature but they don't see it. I wouldn't miss the cliquish attitude teen girls have and the back biting. I wouldn't miss the hormone driven teen boys (kind of an oxymoron since I would have liked to be promiscuous).

Guess it comes down to if I could do what I wanted, I would love to go back and do it over, but the grass isn't that much greener

[Joy Carter]

I have cousins just a couple of years younger. I was always jealous of them.

[Carole Cross]

I was thinking the same thing today. I has to take the bus to hospital and we passed a group of schoolgirls and I thought that they are just maturing into women and I never had the opportunity, it would have been nice to exprience it for myself at that age. I know that I would have been happier because I would not have to pretend to be someone that I am not. I would also be a lot more confident in myself and in my appearance to others. Sadly I will never know because we can't turn back the clock. I will just have to do the best I can with the time I have left.

[Kate Simmons]

I always figured I'd be like Captain Kathryn Janeway. In my own right of course.

[Jan W]

Good post Kelli and one worth having fun with.

Because of the way we are (or I am in particular) it would be easy to imagine I would have been a very girly girl - dresses, always made up, lots of boys etc.

The reality probably is we would have been like the majority of women - jeans, makeup only in some situations and largely taking our femininity for granted.

While I do not know many women who do not want to be women I don't know many who embrace femininity and celebrate it as I think I would if I were to cross over.

Fun to imagine though.


Jan

[CathyJane]

Assuming I'm like I am now, I'd be a goth geek girl!
But I can't think that I would be - I'm completely different to my sister. She's a flightly girly musician and by workday I'm an IT geek and by weekend, hammer wielding, spanner twirling oil stained DIYer.

[Sammy777]

If you had been raised as a girls, or at least started fully dressing, etc. at an early age, do you think you would be the same now? Or more confident, more caring, empathetic? How would the experience (in your own mind) have made you different?

That is really a hard question to answer. So much of who we are is determined by little life experiences.

While I agree that some experiences may help shape people.
I think more that people's basic personality is more hard wired.
Like twins or siblings separated at birth acting and liking the same things for example.

With that being said, and all things being equal if I was in fact born as a girl I think I would probably not be much different then I am now.
Most likely a tomboy who just so happens to like being dressed up once in a while.
Basically, a tomboy ............ in a skirt, lol.

[Lorileah]

While I agree that some experiences may help shape people.
I think more that people's basic personality is more hard wired.
Like twins or siblings separated at birth acting and liking the same things for example.

OH! an idea for a new thread! We will have to disagree on this one. Peer pressure in the girl's world is such that it molds what they do for a long time (until they get married). I will agree that they gravitate towards like minded girls though so lets say a little life a little hard wire

[SaraTV]

I would probably know a hell of a lot more about makeup than I do now, and look a lot less like a clown when I practice.

[Kayla Shadows]

If I did start dressing from a early age,Im sure that I would be a bit more knowledgable with things and be more comfortable.Today I wouldnt have to worry about coming out cuz I'd already be about.I wouldnt have to worry about all the people I know possibly disappearing.I'd probably have less stress than I do now.Maybe a little different cuz I'd hopefully be past all this stuff that flows though my head every day

Coming from a small not very open minded town,Im sure my experience growing up would be worse then it was.I knew there was always something different and I wasnt totally into boy stuff growing up.A lot of things were different.I hung out with the only 2 black girls in town cuz they were hated just as much for the color of their skin.If I was out then,who knows if Id be better or worse with the harassment.It was such a disgusting place.

[AliciaWeb]

I hope I would be pretty much as I am now in character but peer and social pressure would certainly have forced many changes in life. I would definitely have more hair though.

[Deborah Jane]

I dread to think what i would have been like if i had been raised as a girl

Mind you, i'm sure i would have had plenty of fun with my life

[Kelli Michelle]

I dread to think what i would have been like if i had been raised as a girl

Mind you, i'm sure i would have had plenty of fun with my life

Lol, I agree. I think I would have been a terror.

[RWillow]

I think I would have been a totally different person as a female than I am as a male. My reason for saying this is my father's occupation, a minister. I know it would have been a complete turn around for a girl to grow up so close to the church as it is for a boy. My mother was also a preachers kid and comparing her to her brothers I could see how I would have been a different person.

I hope that has made some kind of sense.

Who knows for sure, I regret the fact that I will never know. I have wanted to be female as long as I can remember even praying at night that I would wake up in the morning as a girl. You can imagine how I felt when I woke up and still had outside plumbing.

Renyta

[Noxvictum]

I'd be about the same. The biggest things that have influenced me had no bearing on my gender. Maybe a bit more selfconfident. Mean streak a mile wide, however :P

[HeatherScott]

Was the happiest time of my life at that age. I was convinced I was a girl but the realism started to hit me a few years later. I felt rejected and left out of a "club" as i hit my teens. I reckon I would have been pretty much "Miss Average" though. Still hurts that I didn't tell Mom....

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I probably would have been a lot happier in my wardrobe choices and personal appearance. But I probably would have been just as socially retarded as my young male self was.

I can't see myself having been in to too many girly activities, aside from the aspects of looking feminine. I really wasn't in to guy activities growing up either. I was the quiet, nerdy type who never really fit in with any group of people. I'm sure I would have just been the feminine equivalent of that.

My 20's would have been the biggest change. Rather then wasting it trying to figure out where I fit in the world, I probably would have done more with my life. I might have made a very attractive 20-something and would have used that to my advantage somehow. I believe an attractive young woman with some good, solid qualities to offer would have done a lot better than I did as a man. Good looks do help. As a man, I know I'm much more likely to give a nice looking young woman more attention/consideration than a male equivalent. Nothing sexual, that's just how it works and I'm being honest (at least about my own feelings).

So same awkward teens, but probably much more success after the 20-mark. That's my best guess anyway.

[sometimes_miss]

Assuming no expulsion from the kid 'society' because of what the rest of them felt was a disgusting birthmark, no sexual abuse as a kid, and no other truly horrible experiences, all other things being equal, I probably would have gotten my M.D.. Other references suggest I probably would have been about 5'10", same long dark blond hair, same slim figure. Lets just say I might have had the genetic potential to be 'somebody' way more than I ever have been able to with my present history, but when you start playing with simple things like X's and Y's, who knows what else may change as well. But life doesn't always work out the way we wish. Despite all, it could always have been worse.

[Adrianna_Sofia]

Hmmm...Never really thought about it...Probably if I were raised as a girl, I'd probably be one of those diva princesses...ewww...

Now I came to this conclusion on how I would end up is by actually thinking about the personality of people who shaped me as a person....My mom is a fashonista so I probably would have picked up her sense of always being "in style" hence the diva part...As to my dad he was really caring to me and never did he lay a hand on me ever, more so probably if i were a girl so I'd probably be "daddy's little princess"...

Do I like what I'm seeing...nope...good thing Adrianna grew up much differently...

[TJ Tresa]

I to wonder what it would have been like, And I often daydream about it.
I think I would have been some what tomboyish since I love sports but cain't play them. I have enjoyed my daughter playing ball,(she is a good athlet). Through her I realized a very small part of my dream.
Thanks for sharing

[Sammy777]

While I agree that some experiences may help shape people.
I think more that people's basic personality is more hard wired.
Like twins or siblings separated at birth acting and liking the same things for example.

OH! an idea for a new thread! We will have to disagree on this one. Peer pressure in the girl's world is such that it molds what they do for a long time (until they get married). I will agree that they gravitate towards like minded girls though so lets say a little life a little hard wire

I guess we will, lol.
You also have a good point.
I guess it would also depend on how many [if any] siblings you had and what order you were in.
For me I guess I would have just grew up doing things with my older sister rather then my older brother.

I agree it might have changed me some but I think I would have probably turned out about the same give or take a bit, lol.

A lot of my life and the things I did were independent of either of them, so I don't think me being more attached to my sister [by being a girl] would have seriously changed the person I am today.
Granted I probably would not have had all the same friends or picked the same career, but that just goes without saying.

[Rachaelb64]

I've never really thought about too hard, happier? Maybe more confident, doing my 'thing', who knows or

[aprilgirl]

Its a thought provoking question Kelli and truly difficult to answer. On the surface I believe I would'nt be that much different than I am today. I base that on the premise that I've never seperated my femme side from my masculine side. My interest in crossdressing has always been a part of me from my earliest recollections. Its just who I am. It was'nt long after I started experimenting with individual articles of clothing that I began dressing fully. This was prior to puberty and granted, done secretively and sporadically.

Its hard to imagine the scenario of actually being raised as a girl, so I'll take the approach of my family knowing my desire back then. Assuming their acceptance, I'm sure I would've eliminated much of the fear and guilt I endured due to cding much sooner. I imagine it would have aided my self esteem as well. However, I don't think it would've changed the desire or frequency to indulge. Who knows what triggers the urge and I gave up caring a long time ago.

I like being a male, a male who happens to crossdress on occassion. The qualities of being a caring, emphatetic individual is probably due in part to me being a crossdresser. I'd like to think that it makes me a better, more well rounded person.

Thanks for posing the question.