A Discussion To Get Us Thinking

[battybattybats]

My point is this. if we can't even come together as a group in a united front, how are going to accomplish anything . Some say that acceptance will never come in our lifetime.

The same issues faced homosexuals in the 50's 60's and 70's (see the documentary The Secret History Of Homosexual Australia for the Australian experience of this).

A united front didn't eventuate. There were a majority of closeted scaredycats and a tiny number of activists who pretty quickly split into factions.

So what worked?

Enough of the minority stirred things up! They made a nuisance of themselves trying to stir people to action out of their complacency. They drew public attention to the whole community with media interviews and court cases and demonstrations making it harder for the majority to stay hidden. Some even went so far as to forcibly out others! (something that I consider only ethical when they are hypocrits doing in private what they condemn in public!)

Eventually there was the Mardi Gras demonstration, police brutality and an explosion of public outrage. Finally they started to stand up for themselves.

So keep it up girl. A minority of a minority can still make major progress, many gays are still not out but enough made a fuss to get huge results in just decades.

Some people don't want the boat rocked. But with ENDA coming up and the lying haters with their bathroom lies it's getting rocked anyway!

[kellycan27]

"society seems to have an issue (sometimes) with crossdressers"

SOMETIMES?????


Am I living in the same world with you people? Equality laws are being opposed by advertising that depicts Crossdressers as opportunistic bathroomn child molesters.

We are reviled by right wing hate groups on a daily basis - in print, on the web, and over the airwaves.

SOMETIMES?

I read posts on this board about cops being called to shadow shoppers in stores, wives screaming at husbands all night long, loss of visitation rights, fears of job loss and expulsion from the military...

SOMETIMES?

I wish.

The sky is falling, the sky is falling. .. I think you need to make up your mind.First you say that this board is not a representation of the real world, then you cite your opinions on the posts that you read in here? WTF?
It's not a perfect world, but it's not all doom and gloom as you would have us believe. Stepping a foot out of the closet now and then is no substitute for actually doing it on a regular basis. And in answer to your question...No I don't believe that you are living in the same world with "us" people. You seem to be living in a world of fear and intimidation. My world is nothing like yours. I will not run and hide because some nut case(s) don't like or accept my lifestyle. I will not be intimidated by thoughts that there are people out "to get me". If you are going to cite news stories, and internet pieces, and newspaper articles.. make sure you read, listen and take heed of ALL of the stories and All of the people who are suffering at the hands haters, and zealots, and criminals. bad things happen to everyone.We are not exclusive.
Shit happens! You can suck it up or hide your head in the sand. We all have choices. I don't understand this doom and gloom mentality.What do you (not you personally,but in general) hope to accomplish? What possible good can come from such talk? We all know and understand that there are risks, and that some will indeed suffer,some may even die. This is nothing new, and not exclusive to TG'ed people. In all struggles throughout our history,people are harmed and people fall by the wayside. So do we run for cover? Did those who sacrificed do it in vain? Do you believe that you are doing a service..via warning of the dangers? And do you ever think that you may be doing more harm than good? Do you ever think that just maybe by spreading this stuff, that you are playing right into the hands of those who wish to keep us in check? I am not trying to accuse .. i am trying to understand.

Now there are many people (like myself) who just wear everyday clothes you walk past a thousand times a day. We're not parading a sexual fetish in the faces of others, we're just being ourselves. But is it possible that the general public's impression of crossdressing is that of a sexual fetish? If we consider that then doesn't it suddenly make sense that they would have difficulty accepting it in many cases? I mean in their viewpoint, it's no different to seeing someone in their BDSM gear shopping in Tesco for example.

So, is it possible that one of the problems we have is that transgender issues are all lumped together when in fact they are entirely separate and should be viewed as such? I mean, take this forum as an example. It covers a broad spectrum of related issues and yet there are whole swathes of it which bear absolutely no relationship to my own experiences/situation whatsoever. Consider this. Yesterday I officially came out to a friend of mine (he'd already guessed anyway) which is a long story in itself but he was absolutely fine about it and we had a good discussion and he's even given me some information that could be helpful but that's for another thread and time. But let's say that I'd come out to him and he'd said "hey, I don't know much about that and so I'll do some research". He comes to this forum, creates an account as the friend of a TG and walks straight into countless threads about what colour panties you're wearing. That's not the entire forum of course, I appreciate that but it would be easy for someone coming here and to other forums/websites to find out more to jump to the wrong conclusions and then act on those in the real world.


So, in a roundabout way, what I'm getting to is this thought. If we want to be generally more accepted, do we need to show the general public that while there are sexual fetishist crossdressers, the chances of them being out in public are quite small and that the ones who are out and about are just everyday people doing everyday things?

Discuss.

/me prepares for potentially heated debate

How would we do that? if say there were a group of say 100 of us and the general public was looking at us.How would they know the difference?
Would we wear signs aound our necks? "sexual predator" "just a generic CD"
"it's just a fetish". We could indeed educate people, but how would they know which of us they were interacting with? I understand what you are saying and it would certianly work in our favor if we could. there are those that don't accept us because yes, they are uninformed, but I don't think that the perception of the majority, is that of sexual predator or deviant I mean they might think us a bit odd, but I think that most rational people would understand that in any given group, there will be those undesireable types. I believe that our interaction with the community would be a great way to educate people and let them see for themselves, that we are just like they are. And by getting more of us out there, the more people we can educate...just by virtue of interaction. I think that most people are intelligent enough to make a decision based on what they see and feel, rather than what they hear...given the opportunity.

[Nicki B]

I have come to realize that we are a very diverse and complicated group.

Indeed..

My point is this. if we can't even come together as a group in a united front, how are going to accomplish anything

IMHO, We'll all do that sometime after hell freezes over... But, like Batty says, we ALL don't need to.

What will happen, and I see it happening on almost a daily basis... One by on...cd's and ts people are slipping through the cracks and making their way in and around society.

Exactly - the ones who have found out that it's their responsibility to make it happen, no one else's?

[CherylAnne]

My wife and I were in Marshalls yesterday, she bought a Bruce Maklusky? bag AND a Kathy Van Zeland bag.

I picked up a cute Carribean Joe cross body style bag, I had seen it before.
She looked at me and said, Are you really brave enough to carry that bag.
I hate so much that her question really hits the nail on the head for so many of us.

I am going back to Marshalls this evening and get the bag, it is cute, I can carry it off, and most important, it is only $12.99.

BTW, this was a REALLY good thread. And, I am wearing black Fruit of the Loom "Fit For me" panties.

[sissystephanie]

To start off, I am wearing pink satin panties! Is that O.K. in answer to that question?

Perception begins within! What you think of the way others perceive you is detirmined pretty much by what you think of yourself. Look at Karren's answer! She stated that she doesn't care what others think! I am the same way! I go anyplace I want, dressed the way I want. Usually wearing a skirt! No makeup and no wig, just a guy in a skirt. Sure, I sometimes get "looks," giggles or snickers, but do I care, Not on your life! I am "ME," not what someone else thinks I should be!

[curse within]

I don't know, I mean I have read all these thoughts and therorys, very good one ones by the way but I feel, in order to get truley accepted you must be yourself. I take Shelia and Debs for example and many other members who come here with accepting S.O.'s and ask yourself ,, how did they get so lucky?

It appears to me and some luck was involved but for the most part it was from them being them selfs...I guess what I am saying is , CDing is more so accepted today than 20, 30 or even 50 years ago. You have clubs you can vist the internet etc. But in order to really enjoy it you must be yourself. Take that from someone who will never truley and full heartedly ever be himself as I sit here lonley and in self pitty bitching ,why am I not accepted?