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Thread: Shot this forum down?

  1. #1
    Administrator Admin's Avatar
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    Shot this forum down?

    I've had it up for a few weeks and only 1 thread.. think I should shut it down until the site grows a bit more? let me know any feedback.. I guess its not bearly as popular it seems..

    any other forums you think would be helpful to the site?

  2. #2
    :) Gabrielle's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Nice idea to include FTM here. However...

    The problem with this forum is that it is for FTM which is, in my opinion, already accepted by society.

    I would think that most Females would not even consider themselves to be crossdressing.

    If this method of communication would have available 30 years ago, there would have been more response.

    Comments?!

  3. #3
    Senior Member CindyT's Avatar
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    Question I Agree!

    There does not seem to be much interest in female - to - male crossdressing, or at least if there is they don't care to say much about it. You could probably close this one, OR just turn it into another male - to - female board.
    Also, I think we need a photo gallery, think? Just a suggestion.
    There are some crossdressing "Groups" on msn that I frequent, and I wonder if you would like to exchange links with some of them? Just a way to get more visitors,,,,,,,
    Cindy
    I finally figured it out! - I'm a Lesbian Trapped in a Mans Body!!!
    http://www.myspace.com/sexycindycd

  4. #4
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    Wink Ftm

    Hi, well I am a FTM CDS..yeah, not too many...and I agree it is more accepted of society then it is for MTF. I have several procedures in quest to look more like a male then female. I have had my hips injected with cologen , to get rid of the hour glass figure, I have had my lips reduced to appear smaller, and I have had a breast reduction along with shin implants for the muscle look in my legs....
    I love being female but I also like to be male at times...... I wear mens underwear, I have "pecks" when I dress up....and just about my whole wordrobe belongs to a male....I find it intruiging to see the world from a mans prospective.
    When male I have not had anyone notice other wise...My boyfriend knows I do this infact being a fairly new relationship..we were talking about secrets and though not a real secret we both discovered that we like to crossdress.

    I do have a question for the mtf out there....do you find it difficult for woman to accept your life style and if you are getting involved with someone when really is the right time to tell them?

    See for me it turns me on,,weather it be he just does it in the bedroom or all the time...I think it is awesome that a man can show the "real" side of himself
    Last edited by JustmeBear; 04-21-2004 at 09:32 PM.

  5. #5
    :) Gabrielle's Avatar
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    Hello JustMeBear!

    in response to your question "I do have a question for the mtf out there....do you find it difficult for woman to accept your life style and if you are getting involved with someone when really is the right time to tell them?"

    Speaking for myself here, I have been living with my wife for a long time now. I have only "come out" to her in the past few years. I guess I have always been afraid to do so.

    From my own experience, I can only say that I believe that if you are starting a relationship with someone, and you are a crossdresser (be it MTF or FTM or Any secret you may have for that matter) is best be brought out early on in the relationship.
    That way if they are totally against it, then you are probably not meant for each other.

    Of course, what I didn't really realize at the time was that crossdressing is a very important part of my being truly happy, to be myself.
    So the key to having a happy relationship, I believe, is to have two people who can enjoy life together. and if crossdressing is part of what truly makes you happy then
    you would need someone who can enjoy it with you.

    Sometimes you may be required to do some compromises, but if overal you are both happy then you've got it made!

  6. #6
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    Gabrielle,

    ...I have a few friends that crossdress and they have agreed that it is difficult for them to find woman who is 100% ok with what they do...


    I feel it is best to tell someone before intimacy is shared....My boyfriend is a crossdresser and he does this on a daily basis, ...I really didn't notice everything..but I was seeing signs and that's why I had asked him if he had any secrets....I think it is a turn on and am not embarassed to be seen with a man who feels he should live his life as a woman...I am a firm beleiver in " it is the way someone treats you." I have to say....He is awesome as far as that goes....All in all that is who he is and if that makes him happy..then I am happy that he feels he can share that Life style with me....

    Well I would suggest on bringing it up slowly in the sense...see how your wife feels about the "subject" saying that, what I mean is bring up a "story" make something up...like there is this guy at work and today he came to work wearing a dress...See how she responds to that....Say what if you came home and found me in a dress, would that freak you out? That way it is kinda a hypothetical question....
    When you came out before and either told her or tried to tell her what did she say or how did she respond? Yeah there are a few compromises here and there but if crossdressing is what you really want to do..then you should be upfront with her and tell her...She might not like it but then again you never know!


    Maybe to slowly break her into it..Try wearing make up when you are at home...nothing too noticable...Just maybe mascara or even eye liner...see she might not even notice..it took me awhile to notice that my boyfriend did it..I noticed other things before I noticed that....He shaves his legs, his nails are longer and very well maintained....Once umm before we started intoa relationship, I noticed or thought he was wearing a bra...well I guess I was right....I had also noticed the male "package" was sqooshed...lol Ummm womans underware would do that.....I never said anything to him....That I knew but I did I just wanted to see if he would tell me.

    Or maybe you could shave your legs and see what she says....there are several ways to "ease" the idea to her....you know her best so you would probably know how to go about it better then me....

    I agree with you though, if you both are happy then you have it made..if she isnt accepting of it..then are you really meant to be?

    GOOD LUCK
    Last edited by JustmeBear; 04-21-2004 at 04:56 PM.

  7. #7
    Wanderer Stelli's Avatar
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    100% Ok

    I'd really like to know what does it mean 100% OK in this sense. I am M2FCD and I do it in my free time and when aplicable not to upsent anyone around. My wife knows it as it was present before we met. However even if she doesnot mind, even sometimes buy me stuff, I cannot say I that all of this comprises 100% OK. She is more passive to that and finds it kind of my hobby. So the question here remains.

    I'd really like to meet some F2MCD that will be to my opinion valuable experience .

    Otherwise I do not wander that F2M are not active, when you have seen man talking about their feelings publicly (except here lol. But in the same time I vote that this part stays. I am sure that it will pick up when there is critical mass of subjects.

  8. #8
    :) Gabrielle's Avatar
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    Reply to JustmeBear

    in re: "When you came out before and either told her or tried to tell her what did she say or how did she respond?"

    She finds crossdressing a complete turn off and we even toyed with the idea of splitting up. However, we decided to stay together.

    We do love each other. Even though she hates it when I dress, she still lets me do so because she does want me to be happy.

  9. #9
    Wanderer Stelli's Avatar
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    Sharing

    Re: Gabrielle

    It is hard to be smart in this, cross dressing is simple act but emotions behind that are much more complex. I can identify with you, Gabrielle to the certain extent. I'd like to have more support in what I do. Even to the certain degree I find my wife latent to cross the line but she still keeps it under control. It may be that she wants to keep sanity, but it may be normal builtin female reaction to possible competeing female. We are still all primarily visual. CD is likely turn off because there could be a mix of feelings to one that do not have desire to CD when relating emotionally to one that does it. I do not ask myself why I do it, but would other side participate in exploring alternatives? Likely not. Then it remains person to person relation apart from gender.

    Also as genetic male that feels good in native gender too I find it as exploration even enriching my personal experience, and I always say to myself - not everyone is adventurous especially in area that may question or disturb ones self understanding.

    What is solution to this? I did not figure it out as yet. Possibly it takes time and lot of us to form better understanding and set the guidelines. But I find it as humane as everything else. It is some sort of expression freedom, that cannot be denied. From another side it is care not to disurb.

  10. #10
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    100% ok

    Really what I mean by 100% ok..is more not less 100% accepting..My boyfriend cds and it isn't like he just does it at home or on the weekends, this is a daily thing for him and he would even like to take it a tad bit further...I accept the fact that he cds. I accept that he wears nail polish, bras, panties and so on..I will even support him when he wants to take it further...When he told me he did this, I had a choice weather or not to continue our relationship or stop it right then and there...I choose to continue..I would never be embarassed by what he does.....In my opinion if people look it is because they are jealous...if you don't like something why look so hard...right.....I am 100% ok with his life style!!! I would never change him or make him try to go back wearing mens clothes...I think it is awesome he can express himself the way he deems neccessary...I envy that about him......
    Is that giving you enough meaning on 100% ok?
    Last edited by JustmeBear; 04-21-2004 at 09:29 PM.

  11. #11
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    Hey Gabrielle

    Well is crossdressing something you want to do on a daily basis? Basically live your life as a woman? or is it something you want to just do at home or on the weekends?...Maybe you can compromise on something...Let me know the answers to these questions and maybe I can help you a little more

  12. #12
    :) Gabrielle's Avatar
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    What do I want?

    I would say that I am mixed. I do enjoy being a guy at times but other times would like to be female.

    I think I would be happy just being able to wear what I want whereever I want.

    I would probably be content to live life as a guy, that could wear a skirt, high heels and nailpolish. Sounds pretty simple, however until society accepts that much like it is now accepted for girls to wear jeans , I don't see that happening.

    I would love to have a female friend that I could dress up with and maybe go out dancing with.

    I don't think I am asking for much!

  13. #13
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    Is there a difference????????????????

    What really is the difference between crossdressing and transgender?

  14. #14
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    Well you basically want to be a part time cd? I really do not know what to say....While having someone you could go out with dressed up would be great..I do not think your wife would like it too much!! Really all I can say is be honest with her and tell her exactly how you feel and well you are either going to like what she says or not...
    For me if I am with someone that I think could be in my life for years and maybe forever..I would tell him that I like to dress as a man and that I have had several procedures done...All before intimacy....He is either going to accept this or not...It is great when you are with someone and they accept you 100%...
    My ex husband knew that I did this and fobbided me to do it..I had clothes and alot of them you can't tell....Like you said the woman wearing jeans is accepted by society...Though my wardrobe goes deeper into it then that.....If I were to walk into a restaurant wearing a mans suit and tie...Think society would be just as accepting as if I were wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt....I don't
    Anyways be honest with your wife, that's all you can be

  15. #15
    Wanderer Stelli's Avatar
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    re: 100% ok

    Thank you Justmebear! This is good explanation. I am just courious what you find in it? 100% accepting (in fact tit is not, as you said, you always have choice to accept something or not). But what is great about you two is that you support him, you are not indiferent. If he comes with something you will try to see it in best light. That I find very good and very healthy. But how that makes YOU feel?

    I am courious what kind of person you are, and what you find satisfactory to you....?

  16. #16
    Wanderer Stelli's Avatar
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    Is there a difference????????????????

    Also to Gab,

    I think here there is element of time. How much time to be in certain gender role. We do cross dress for the gender role too. But how much? I feel good in both, and I figure Gab does feel that too. I can be male and very satisified but also I can be female and satisfied, but also I would have desire to switch from one to other. It doesnot necessary mean that I would like to go from one extreme role to another. I see it as freedom from being locked in one gender role. I may spend days being in F clothes, then I may spend months not even thinking about it. Then I may dream of me wearing dress or suspenders or certain type of skirt. Or some day I just feel beeing on my F side. I do it for pleasure, for me this is not an urge, I could possibly be full time F but then this will be as same as being full time M.

    What is cross dressing and what cross gender? Difference? I have couple of articles that deal with these issues. I have not formed opinion on this, but so far I understand that thre is cross dressing for various reasons of which one is cross gender, from other side to be cross gender it doesnot necessarily mean that you have to cross dress. I have found some women all dressed female with such masculine behaviour, thoughts and attitudes, say woman with man's brain, and vice versa. SO far I tend to believe that cross dressing is art and expression, and cross gender is attitude and mental abilities. Although I know I am cross dresser I am unsure if I am cross gendered. This may get very complex as diversity is significant I am possilby belonging to a set of certain kind dressing for certain reasons.

    But do we really need to create some taxonomy here ? Feelings and attitudes comprise better results here. We learn more from hearing each other. This board is discovery for me. I CAN SPEAK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT!!!! That is wonderful!!!!

  17. #17
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stelli
    Thank you Justmebear! This is good explanation. I am just courious what you find in it? 100% accepting (in fact tit is not, as you said, you always have choice to accept something or not). But what is great about you two is that you support him, you are not indiferent. If he comes with something you will try to see it in best light. That I find very good and very healthy. But how that makes YOU feel?

    I am courious what kind of person you are, and what you find satisfactory to you....?
    I am not really sure what you mean by how that makes me feel...I really kind of said how I was feeling already...but as far as what he does and the life style he lives, I think it is great!! Let me see if I can explain this...For me the accepting part really shouldn't be considered accepting...I'll tell you why....I was hoping that some day I would find a man who could "express" himself..in that manner...I really shouldn't say I have accepted what he does...because in a sense it is a "quality" I was looking for....Kind of like saying I accept my boyfriend because he is nice to me.....That is something that is wanted....you don't accept the fact that he is nice because that is a quality you were already looking for....I hope I just made sense...If I didn't I apologize.
    For ALL part I wouldn't change a thing about him.....I love everything about him...!!!!!!!

    Not sure what you mean by what kind of person I am..I know I am "different" then other people..I see things from a whole different angle..I treat people no different then the way I would want to be treated

    What I find satisfactory..In which sense...???

  18. #18
    Wanderer Stelli's Avatar
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    Thank you again JustMeBear.

    You are possibly the second personality of this kind I encounter in my life. First one was some quite a while ago and that was in real life. We did not have relationship but she was, oh boy, really a character. I think I can associate.

    Please do not mind me inquisitive. I do live with my wife which OK's what I do, but that is as far as it goes. I think she, although doesnot mind me doing it and to certain extent helps me, is not (again) (kind of) completely satisfied with it. I cannot say in which sense but in a way I think I unitentionally trigger with her some sort of fem competition. She can beat me en femme at any time it is her native gender but I wish it is not like that, I wish that she can cross. Since I started paying attention to my fem side I started trusting to my own feelings. Even started finding out that my mind sees things differently. In a way I am developing my senses and understandings. And by now I can tell when I feel something is not without the reason. So what I say does apply to her.

    Why I am asking you? Simply, you can give me insight that I cannot find with her. By now I understand that you have your own desires and since you have been looking and have found your BF who can comlement you. This sounds as happy relation. The rest of relationship is personality. I am simply trying to understand your model and motivation in this relationship...

    Some practical everyday questions: (if you do not mind answering) does he also take other typical fem chores at home? Meaning do you (both) just do this for pleasure or you are doing it more in sense of archetype roles?

  19. #19
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stelli
    Thank you again JustMeBear.

    You are possibly the second personality of this kind I encounter in my life. First one was some quite a while ago and that was in real life. We did not have relationship but she was, oh boy, really a character. I think I can associate.

    Please do not mind me inquisitive. I do live with my wife which OK's what I do, but that is as far as it goes. I think she, although doesnot mind me doing it and to certain extent helps me, is not (again) (kind of) completely satisfied with it. I cannot say in which sense but in a way I think I unitentionally trigger with her some sort of fem competition. She can beat me en femme at any time it is her native gender but I wish it is not like that, I wish that she can cross. Since I started paying attention to my fem side I started trusting to my own feelings. Even started finding out that my mind sees things differently. In a way I am developing my senses and understandings. And by now I can tell when I feel something is not without the reason. So what I say does apply to her.

    Why I am asking you? Simply, you can give me insight that I cannot find with her. By now I understand that you have your own desires and since you have been looking and have found your BF who can comlement you. This sounds as happy relation. The rest of relationship is personality. I am simply trying to understand your model and motivation in this relationship...

    Some practical everyday questions: (if you do not mind answering) does he also take other typical fem chores at home? Meaning do you (both) just do this for pleasure or you are doing it more in sense of archetype roles?

    I am completely satisfied with every part of my relationship...
    I am happy, excited, over joyed that I have met the person I am with...If I were to describe the perfect person for me...He would be that person....The way he makes me feel, is something I have never felt before....Our common interests, our personalities/sense of humor..it doesn't get any better then that...What I mean is I truly feel there is someone out there for everyone and I feel that he and I are some how suppose to be together in some way shape or form....
    Not really sure what you mean by motivation.....I just know that I have someone in my life that I can be me with..someone who doesn't judge me for what I have done and who I am..someone who treats me like I have always wanted to be treated by that special someone....Being that our relationship is fairly new in some sense....I have all the time in the world to see were our relationship takes us. "it is how you are treated"
    I never set out looking for a man who cds...I look at it as If I found that special someone and he didn't cd then I would accept that but then if I found someone who did cd then that would be awesome..It would be a plus in the relationship.
    All in all I wouldn't give up my relationship that I have for anything...where our relationship is going to take us. I do not know....
    As far as doing it all the time or for pleasure, I can only speak for myself as I did give a little insight on what my bf does..but he does do it on a daily basis...as far as me...I do not do it on a daily basis..Ummmm I feel I would more then likely just do it at home or on the weekends and go to night clubs...My parents aren't too happy and do not accept this of me...
    My opinion is that if you are with someone and they can not accept you 100%..then what is there motivation for staying....because then you get someone that instead of accepting you completely for all of who you are....They maybe accepting of your man hood but only tolerating your fem side...and to me If you have to tolerate something why do it in the first place....example when I was a kid...my mother made me eat veggies...I tolerated that...I ate each bite with a funny look on my face...Instead of accepting the fact I had to eat them and to enjoy every bite.
    If you don't accept but instead tolerate....you are really not enjoying everything about that person....But again that is my opinion and like asses..everyone has one.
    I hope I helped a little...

  20. #20
    :) Gabrielle's Avatar
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    Hope this helps!

    Sounds to me like you are asking a question to something you have already formulated an answer to.

    I wish I could help, but really cannot form an opinion on the matter. Sometimes people give advice in haste which could be right but could also be completely wrong.

    Whatever advice you get on this matter, I would suggest not being too trusting of it.

    In order to form a good opinion, you need an informed opinion. And at the least, in order to do that, you need the views of all parties involved.

    Hasty, one sided opinions are at the root of many of the issues in society.
    (How many people out in the world believe that crossdressing is bad and ridicule it without having the faintest idea what it actually is.
    There is hardly a day that goes by where I don't hear a "gay or transvestite" joke.)

    Again, I don't mean to sound upset. But simply trying to make a point.

    One thing I can say. Good relationships are built with time. And if there is something that is really troubling you with it then, take the time to really ponder if the relationship is really what you want. Don't make hasty decisions.

    Hope you all the best!
    Gabrielle

  21. #21
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    If I have formulated an answer I have missed it completely.....

  22. #22
    :) Gabrielle's Avatar
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    I guess I was wrong then!

    Does my reasoning at least make sense?

  23. #23
    Mel JustmeBear's Avatar
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    Yes your reasoning makes sense and maybe if I am more patient then things will start happening.....Who knows

    Oh Stelli...I think I know what you meant by model....I am the woman in the relationship and my bf is a man who lives his life as a woman. Does that answer your question!!!!!!!

  24. #24
    oysters = kneecaps Abraxas's Avatar
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    I've looked all over

    I've looked all over for information on female transvestism and crossdressing and haven't found anything. I realise that there are extremely few of us but we need an outlet too. Or, I do anyway. Just because I'm seriously in the minority here doesn't mean that I don't deserve a forum too.
    I've never heard of any othr female tvs at all, and I've looked. I am interested in talking to anybody who has an opinion on the matter and was hoping to find a few female tvs in here, but I guess there aren't any.
    I'll continue looking, but I hope that people here will be willing to talk even if they aren't like me.
    Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.


  25. #25
    oysters = kneecaps Abraxas's Avatar
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    Answers

    Thanks for your empathy-- it's better than nothing
    To answer your questions (to the best of my ability, since this is a relatively new thing for me)
    Um... It's not a sexual thing necessarily. I'm not aroused by wearing blokes' clothes. It's a sexuality thing. I simply feel like I should have been made a boy and act accordingly, I guess. It's a bit difficult to explain, as you must know.

    I'm 18

    I don't feel uncomfortable. I've been doing it since I was quite young and so am used to it. The first time I bought mens briefs I was a bit nervous. I had bought boxers before but then a lot of girls wear boxers. I got over that rather quickly, however. I'm much more uncomfortable in the womens department. I feel like I shouldn't be there at all. I never go there, unless I'm with somebody who's buying womens clothes. I feel especially uncomfortable in the womens underwear department and if I never had to look at a tampon again it would be too soon. I can't stand that department. I feel the eyes of the world on me and I know I shouldn't be there, even though in some cases I need to be.

    I don't feel ashamed of it-- again probably because I started at such a young age and it became a normal thing. My family always used to tell me I'd "grow out of it" by the time I was such- and- such age. I would just say, "well, maybe, but I bet not." However... If someone in my family were to find my "packing device", I would feel very uncomfortable talking about it. I also don't bind because of this. I don't want anybody to ask questions simply because I've tried subtly hinting at things and they just don't understand. Luckily my friends all seem to but my family seem to think that girls can't be transvestites, no matter how much I explain that they can.

    Expression of inner male self? Yes, I guess so. Because as I said, I felt like I should have been born male. It actually is half expressing the male side and half surpressing the female side.

    Hope I've answered your questions, and please feel free to ask more. Also, you can check out my website for more information.
    Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.


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