We were just dating at the time, but i didn't realize that you could look up anyones purchases on eBay. So I had purchased some female articles of clothing and she just happen to find out what I had purchased and wanted to know who I was buying them for. So I told her. Thought she was gonna leave for sure, but she was actually relieved. So we had the talks and went thru the questions and worked it all out and we are now happily married!
I told my wife a few months before we got married. I was getting cold feet and told here. I was trying to get her to freek out and run but she said "there is no way you are getting out of this."It has been great ever since. I have an understanding wife that helps me out all the time. Sometimes if i don't dress, she asks when her girl friend is coming out to play?? I love my wife and I tell her all the time. It will be five years in september.
What a lovely thread, and a wonderful place to say hello! I think there's no perfect answer to the question...and I've tried several times:
1st wife: never knew, even though I left FemDom mags out...she was too self absorbed to notice!
2nd wife: told her after we were engaged, and we played together - even publicly, switching Dom/Sub (though I certainly loved her more as a Domme!), but it broke up the relationship. She said she "just never saw me the same" after she saw me in a dress...
3rd wife: met her in a tranny bar, with me fully dressed, and we dated primarily with me as a girl...so it wasn't an issue. But - when we had kids, the girl was banned... which leaves me very unsatisfied in that area of life right now...ten years in.
We had a heart to heart years after we were married. lots of wine and tears. She accepts and helps. She has been present for the birth and life of Kelly.
Unfortunately dressing time is limited lately (kids getting older and dont need to now).
Mine found clippings from my cropping of a photo I had taken of myself. She got curious and found the photo in my wallet.
Then she got really quiet for about 3 days until I pestered her with "what's wrong" enough times.
At that point she said, "Who is she?". I had no idea who she meant and said so. Then she told me, "the woman in the picture you have in your wallet".
OOps...time to fess up so I told her..."it's me".
"Don't lie to me. Who is she, who is that woman?"
Mmmm didn't think I looked that good...
"Okay, wait here", I said as I went to the car and returned with my box of clothes and showed her the complete outfit.
Days of talking later she started to accept and now she goes out with me and shops with me all the time.
She's fabulous...sorry I scared her that way.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Seventeen years into our marriage, I accidentally left some old skirts (I was going to throw away) in the back of my truck. Later that night we had a long talk, and her first thoughts were that the skirts were someone else's, and I was having an affair. But I dropped a bomb by telling her they were mine. I fit the 'macho' label fairly well, and although she knew I was into pantyhose, she thought it only was about womens' legs, and not my own.
I explained that I had been dressing up since I was 13, and had tried to stop countless times. I explained that for years I thought I was the only person in the world who did what I did, until the internet opened up my eyes. She was stunned, angry, curious, and furious all at the same time. I went through the usual explanations...no, I'm not gay...no, I don't want to become a woman...and that I just felt great when I dressed up in women's clothing, especially pantyhose.
Over the next few months it was a three steps forward, two steps backwards, over and over again. She educated herself about my crossdressing by visiting numerous websites, and at times would try to accept it, even having me dress up for sex a few times. But I could see in her eyes she was disgusted by what she saw, and although I'd love a fully accepting spouse, I didn't push it.
We eventually reached a compromise where I agreed to get rid of my clothes and heels, but I could continue to wear pantyhose as often as I wanted. I was OK with that, since pantyhose are by far my favorite item, and probably wouldn't CD much at all without them. But over the next few years, even pantyhose became an issue from time to time.
She did tell me that had she found out earlier in our marriage, she probably wouldn't have stuck around, but after 17 years, she admitted my other qualities were worth staying together for. Like I said earlier, three steps forward, two steps back. It's been over five years since she found out, and it's been a tough road.
"Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season" ('Carry On Wayward Son' by Kansas)
I told her. EVENTUALLY I HAD TO.
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
That's easy, I told her. I just worked up the courage for about a week, and then sat done with her and opened up. Initially she was just kind of okay with it, but she did buy me some female clothing, and accepted me being dressed in front of her. Unfortunately she quickly became cool to the idea, and said she didn't want to see me dressed. So I have followed her wishes, and only dress, when she is not around, but at least she knows, and I'm not keeping secrets. I hope eventually she will reconsider, but until then, I'll just keep on doing things this way.
I actually told mine almost a year into our marriage, she said she had some susppitions of it. It has been very difficult but we have our rules about when I do it.
Thirty five years ago, when my wife and I were dating, I took her to a beech. It was unplanned so we didn't have swimsuits with us. She mentioned that we should take our shoes off and walk in the water. I told her that I couldn't do that. When she asked "why" I took my shoes and socks off to show her my painted toenails. Of course that started the "what is this all about" conversation.
I'm glad that the cat was out of the bag before we were married but she has never liked the fact that I am a cross dresser. I haven't told her that I now believe that I am transgendered. She has a lot of stress now trying to deal with her sick elderly parents who live three states away. This information would push her over the edge. I don't think that I will ever tell her. I'm too old to transition any way. Leanne
I left a copy of "I wear my wife's clothes" on the nightstand with certain passges highlighted in yellow marker. I got all of the usual questions. that was after 20 years of marriage. To this day, she predents that her finding that book never happened. We haven't been "intimate" since that day. She hates me.
Told her that the bra slips I ordered in the largest bandwidth available were too tight, and the B cup was too big. She remarked "I told you so"; they were women's girdles with boobs. She said do I have to return them at the store? Do they have an "ordered for and by a guy" on their "reasons for returning" them list. We have not been "intimate" for years; the last time we were just "going through the motions". For me CDing is a substitute. I want to go as far as I can, but accompanying her as a woman will be a major challenge.
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Last edited by sfwarbonnet; 07-04-2009 at 11:08 AM.
I jumped into bed wearing her pantis...she freaked...then she liked a few minutes later and then she went shopping and brought me home my own leopard's!!! She thinks I am cute...but she doesn't want me wearing pink...I said I will just leave that to you! She laughed...I did point out to her this morning a sale adverstisement in the paper for ladies panties...she asked..what is the brand?? Gosh, I love her....Panty Lover
My wife found my stash of female underwear. It just progressed from there and she still may not like it but shall we say tolerates it in moderation. Probably should have told before she found on her own but like most of us we tend to have that fear that we will lose our SO. As I type this I am dressed but she is out for the night.
I told my wife while we were dating, that I enjoyed wearing women's clothes, and she voiced her disapproval as soon as I told her. That didn't stop her from marrying me and it didn't stop me from dressing. I just stayed in the closet until she passed away two years ago. I don't know if there is ever a "best" time to tell a spouse (or a gf) but I always believed in being honest and up front about something as important as dressing, that way if there were any dire consequences, I could deal with them before any long term relationship. I wish you all the luck in the world in telling your wife, and hope everything turns out for the best for both of you.
Luv andJill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
she found pics of me on the cell phone that i had forgotten to delete, then i guess i kicked a sock off in my sleep and she saw my painted toenails....then she brought it up lol. She is mildly accepting, even did my toenails (i think she felt sorry for the poor little piggies for their poor paint job), but doesnt want to see me dressed (in person) yet
Told my wife a couple of weeks after I proposed to her. We've been married 4 years (6 years since I proposed). I can talk to her anytime about tranny stuff: she knows when I've got gender issues on my brain, and refers to me "trannied out". She's not super comfortable round me when I'm dressed though. Not that's she's against the idea per se, rather she's worried her attraction to me will vanish if she's too comfortable with me being female.
I have to say I let my wife know by having her come into my "computer space" when I was fully dressed. She thought that my heels were a bit high<6 inch>, but loved how they made my legs look. She was a bit upset that I took her skirt and made it a mini.
I think it was mostly because she is 4'11' and I'm 6'7 and it fit, even though she was only about 100# at the time.
That is "her" skirt in my profile pic.
I got us both really drunk and told her. The sneaking around was killing me.
she found a pic on my cell phone and then a web site address on my computer. she did some digging and found a few pics of me on the internet.
She though about it for a couple months and after much conversation, she decided not to stick around. it has been about a year and we are great friends, just no longer married.
It was easy in our relationship, SHE told ME. My wife saw the feminine side in me and helped me bring it out. She recognized it as just one more piece of the man she loved.
when we first started going out I went to a fancy dress party with her and she noticed how I put on stockings quicker than she did! No kidding! She gave me this look.. we had a talk about it a fewdays later and I told her.
Peace through superior dress sense..
I had moved to MN to be with my then GF (now wife) and she knew nothing about my dressing. We had a long distance relationship for about a year then we moved right in together. I hadn't moved all my cloths yet so for about 3 months I didn't dress. Once my cloths arrived I was dressing within 24 hours of their arrival. My wife found out because she saw pictures on my computer of me dressed. She freaked out at first then wanted to know all about it. Needless to say my biggest regret was not telling her sooner!!! She is supportive and I love her so much.
My wife, she was my girlfriend at the time, actually got me back into it after many years of not dressing. How she knew, I will never know, but one night she offered me her bra, and it went from there. She is 100% supportive, buys me nice things, and we have a great life.
I told my wife after we were married for about 6 months. To her the idea was to wear lingerie to bed and it was hard for her to make love to a man wearing a bra! That was 30 years ago. She recently for a tag from panties I bought on a business trip in my luggage and left the tag on my desk. We didn't talk about it though....
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