Would you still want to be a woman?

[TGMarla]

I hear it all the time around here. Many say that they'd just love to live their lives over again as a woman. But they don't get into any qualifications or specifics. They say, "I love lacy slips and pretty dresses, so I must really be a woman in my brain!!!" They have an affectation for the peripherals without really thinking about it.

Remember the legend of the monkey's paw? Be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it. So you want to be a woman, but you didn't say what woman, when, and where. We're all assuming that you'd do it all over again right here and right now. But what if that was not the case?

What if there were not pretty dresses, or lacy slips? No pantyhose and high heels? No lovely hair and fingernails? What if you had to live in Afghanistan? Or some little dirt-poor tribe in Africa or New Guinea? What if you had to live in 1670 in a Puritan colony where your daily life was full of labor and hard work, where you had no say in what happened in your life? What if it meant second-class citizenship with a husband that lorded over you?

Maybe it really is more the lace and the hosiery, the cute little skirts and the makeup. Maybe we aren't so much female in our brains, as we are just simply attracted to all the female trappings. Maybe some of us simply want to be girls so that we can play with all the girl toys, the clothes, the nails, the hair, the perfume, and the jewelry.

Think about it. Being a woman was never EVER so good as it is in Western Civilization today. Go back even a few decades, and the benefit drops off sharply. And even today, if you don't live in a developed nation in Europe or North America (and a few selected others), being a chick ain't such a great thing. So.....do you still want to be a woman? Any woman? Or do you just like all the trappings?

[SIZE=1][/SIZE]

[curse within]

No never really wanted to be one to start, maybe when I was very little but that has long since past...

But as I have always said it's really not the clothing for some, Its the atrraction. I am sure that some Men in these poor dirt tribes in Africa or New Guinea , have desires in their own customs or enviorment just as we do in more developed countries.

Maybe they poke bones through their noses in a way that is only done by women in their culture. I was watching a program called Taboo where in India a young male had his parts removed to live a female, they have none of the customs or clothing as we do . He then joined the others who have done the same and dressed as the culture of that part of the world is known for in a female manner. Covered the face long ugly looking dress thing and no shoes and added that mole they are famous for having.

[kristinacd55]

You know what it is Marla just as you put it, the PERCEPTION & fantasy of being a woman. Being a real woman means all the hardship & 2nd class citizenship that goes along with it. Let's face it, being a woman is no piece of cake!

[Joan Merrie]

Yes I would. But after all my mind is female, and hopefully, soon my body will be as well.

[Leasa Wells]

If i was a women, I would of course like pretty things. Pretty things come in different ways, a nice home, taking care of the family. Knowing at time to be tender and caring to the ones you love. If i had to wear a black robe in a third world country i could do that as long as i was a women. You see its not what i am on the outside its what i am in the inside. God made me this way and God love me so much he is not going to change a thing.

[docrobbysherry]

You know what it is Marla just as you put it, the PERCEPTION & fantasy of being a woman. Being a real woman means all the hardship & 2nd class citizenship that goes along with it. Let's face it, being a woman is no piece of cake!

Yes, Kristina, I know for me, it's ALL ABOUT the FANTASY, of appearing female!

Would I want to have been born a woman WITH my current body and face? NOT a chance in H---!

If, as a woman, I looked more like Rosie O'Donell, than Charlize? I'M STAYIN' a CD guy!

[Cary]

Good question.

As I've said before, I have no desire to be a woman. I have alot of respect for what they've been through as a gender. I don't think I would be able to work in a sweat shop or farm wearing a huge dress over uncomfortable undies. I wouldn't wish PMS or labor pains on anybody. I just love wearing the clothes of the 21st century woman in the western world.

[trannie T]

I love lacy slips and pretty dresses. I have no desire to actually become a woman as I love my male parts too. Women in western societies have made tremendous progress in the past few decades but still have a long way to go to become true equals to males. That is why I support equal rights for all, including men, women, transgendered people, straights, gays, lesbians, ethnic minorities and members of all religious groups.

[kristinacd55]

Yes, Kristina, I know for me, it's ALL ABOUT the FANTASY, of appearing female!

Would I want to have been born a woman WITH my current body and face? NOT a chance in H---!

If, as a woman, I looked more like Rosie O'Donell, than Charlize? I'M STAYIN' a CD guy!

& docrobbysherry for me it's all fantasy too! Because with the MAN body I'm in I'll never be the voluptous beautiful girl I imagine myself to be. But that's what being a cd is all about isn't it?

[Angie G]

Good post Marla it makes one think.Would I really want it.
Angie

[kristinacd55]

Good post Marla it makes one think.Would I really want it.
Angie

Marla not only looks good in all her outfits, she also has a brain to think with!

[TGMarla]

Yes I would. But after all my mind is female, and hopefully, soon my body will be as well.

Fair enough. And for some, maybe even many, that is still the answer. But the rest of us really might take a second look. I guess that's what the RLT is all about. It's easy to talk the talk, but it's not quite so easy to walk the walk, especially in high heels.

[Jonianne]

Women have found a way to survive and thrive in whatever setting they were put in. Historical writings are full of the courage and beauty they have posessed through out the ages as well as the pain and suffering. It's the heart of a woman that is attractive to me, far more than the externals.

[Zenith]

I don't want to be a woman. I am a woman. I have to deal with it. That's GID.

Take away the frilly stuff...pantyhose...etc...(actually you can take it...on a daily basis it is a lot of trouble)...OK...it's more a means to present female than anything else...can be fun in small doses and putting together outfits...but it's just clothes...I probably have a normal GG level of enthusiasm...

Female sex drive? Yes have that...but not gay...never have had sex as a man with a man...and knew I was a girl at ~4-5 long before any sexual feelings developed...

Wanted to do girl things...Ballet...couldn't...felt I shouldn't...

Always been sensitive to others feelings...hugs...talking...give little gifts...but a male can't do that right? Used to be a highly in demand babysitter...loved taking care of kids...loved cooking...good at interior design...suppressed it all...

Things just continue to add up ...

[Karren H]

No way!! Never!!! I'd rather have all the benifits of being a girl (the pretty ones) and none of the problems... (low pay... glass ceilings.... geting pregnant.... etc....)

[Zenith]

No way!! Never!!! I'd rather have all the benifits of being a girl (the pretty ones) and none of the problems... (low pay... glass ceilings.... geting pregnant.... etc....)

Lucky you......we all know women have it tougher in most every way...doesn't matter...can't pretend to be what you aren't...

[AmandaM]

If I could be a woman, I wouldn't need the clothes.

[SuzanneS]

I guess I might have a different answer if it ever really came down to it, but in my life, the girls always seemed to be taken care of alot more, been cherished, been idolized by so many, and been loved more and not looked at like a 'thing' that could just be used(not in a sexual way) for labor.
Although the girls that I have known seemed to have an easier life than mine(maybe they don't) I would still love to be the girl that everyone admires and takes care of and stands up for.
In my life, yes, I would absolutely love to be a girl...Girls in my area have always been taken care of and cherished it seemed and they were still helped out if they were expected to work. I guess I don't really know how to fully explain it, but I would just love to be treated like I would treat a woman. My family taught me how to repspect and treat a woman and that's how I would like to be treated, because as a male, I didn't get any special treatment or respect it seemed....no matter how well I treated any woman....and I do treat them very well, with utmost respect.

Just my honest opinion, whether I explained it as well as I could have or not.

Suzanne

[kathtx]

If I could be a woman, I wouldn't need the clothes.

Bingo.

Pretty clothes are wonderful, but they ain't what it's about. For me, it's about relating to women as a woman, socially and romantically (I pretty much ignore men altogether socially, and certainly ignore them romantically). So regardless of time and place, I'd choose female.

Were I dropped into Puritan New England, say, and given the choice of being male or female, sure, it would be *easier* and *safer* to be a male, but it would still not be *me*. Indeed, I'd detest the male social role then then even more than I do now. In a society where women are oppressed, why on earth would I choose to be one of the oppressors?
It's like asking: if dropped into a gulag, would you rather be a guard or a prisoner? Neither choice is good, but which choice would let you live with integrity? So I'd choose female, realizing that depending on time and place I would probably live life as a spinster, get burned as a witch, or sent to a convent.

That being said, I'm certainly glad to live in the 21st century western world (mid 20th century, perhaps, since I'm in Texas) rather than Afghanistan or Puritan New England.

[RWillow]

Yes, most definitly, and I have felt this way all my life. Everything Zenith said and more and I wouldn't care where or when in history, I would want to be female.

Renyta

[KateSpade83]

If I had to do it all over again I'd definitely want to be a PRETTY AMERICAN WOMAN! On a HOTNESS scale or 8 and above! Or else I'd rather stay my guy self... Never mind pregnancies and periods! I want it ALL!

[Rachel Morley]

I hear what you're saying, and I do take your point. For what we know about life in an affluent and free country such as ours compared to others, we do have it good ... no doubt about it, and that's regardless if you are a man or a woman.

However, I can only answer your question based upon my knowledge and my experience of "my world" and my lifetime experiences, and so based upon my reflections, upon my life so far, yes, if I could have my time again, and if I was sure I was never going to ever meet my wife like I did, then I do wish I had been born a girl. I do wish I would have become a woman .... BUT .... I would not change my life today. I love being me, mostly because of my married life. I would not trade even being a woman for not being married to Marla.

[linnea]

You make some very good points, Marla. Usually when people say that they would like to be someone else or to live in another time period, they really mean that they would like it IF THEY COULD DO SO AND KNOW WHAT THEY KNOW NOW. They want that (or often assume it) not so much as a way to alter the "future" but because without that knowledge or memory, they would literally have a different life without really realizing the difference.
That's true for your examples too: If I were a woman member of the Plimmoth Bay Colony in 1620, I would have a hard life--by today's standards--, but hard as it was, I wouldn't have the better Western, industrialized nation outlook on it.
If I could be a woman in 1620 knowing what I know now, I would probably be very unhappy with the trials and tribulations of life in general and life specifically for females. It would be even worse to be an Afghan woman or a woman in Somali or any number of other places.
However, I think that one of the most salient points that you made is the one about "the whole package" (though you don't discuss it very much): that is that beyond the make-up, the hair, the lovely clothes, etc., there are many other qualities of being a woman. Some of them, like mensturation, are physical; add hormonal activity that differs greatly from the type men experience. Then you have the socially constructed roles. Being a woman means that you would have to deal with those, many of which are repressive and demeaning. Of course, women can and do resist these and deconstruct them, but they often have to fight prejudice and other negative attitudes to do so.
It definitely is more than the accoutrements to be a woman. Nonetheless, I would like the experience (only if I could continue to know what I know now).

[Lisa Golightly]

The fringe benefits have nothing to do with it for me... If becoming female meant I had to work in the salt mines for the rest of my life I'd still do it... The mind rattling around this wreck of a body doesn't know how to be a man... As it is I'm looking at a total bill of $58,000 to do everything I need to do and feel normal in my current existance... That's 58,000 reasons not to bother for many, but to me it's 58,000 problems to clear before finally I get off a road to nowhere and take the road to somewhere.

I often envy CD's... I really do.

[Carole Cross]

It's not about the clothes, it's about the way I feel inside. I have tried to live as a man for 40 years and have nothing to show from it because I do not think the way that men do. I have tried to supress all my feminie feelings and emotions to try and fit in but it omly made me more unhappy. I am now starting my transition which will be a huge sacrifice in terms of job security and finance.
I can't really afforg to pay for what I need to complete my transition, but then I can't really afford, mentally, to continue living a lie. If I do, I will probably end up killing myself.