so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the outher CD'S ?

[Wendy me]

so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the other CD'S ?

OK first off not being a cross dresser i look at some of these threads and quite often think WTF..........see it looks like this section has a lot of competition .... that in some way it's like look at me i am more fem ...than you all because i .... (ADD WHAT EVER) .......

see i look over here and see the same GUY thing that goes on out in the real world .... the one up thing my>.............(ADD WHAT YOU WANT) .... is better than yours.....

so what i am asking in your quest to be more fem in your hobby do you think your guy side is way more into the mix than you know???????................

[Shikyo]

Not quite sure what you are asking but I'll do my best to answer.

No, I'm not trying to out do other people over here. I'm doing everything for myself, not trying to compete with other people in means of look or anything else. I just don't see the point in trying to compare looks at all, as each of us has their own beauty that will be unique to each of us. We should be proud of what we are, instead of trying to compete with each other. (An actual competition is another issue)

Being a TS, I don't consider myself having a "real" masculine side at all. Even though I'm sure I have some masculine features like everyone I'm just too ignorant to see them.

[Jessica Who]

I've been coming here for advice as well as to feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself. I don't have any friends who are crossdressers but this is something that I hope changes. I am definitely not here to one-up anyone, because I think everyone has a unique perspective and something positive to contribute

[Mirani]

To hear you call it a "hobby" is both surprising and disappointing.
In fact, it feels like being patronised.

I am here to express "me".

No competition. No testosterone alpha male competition.
Just someone expessing their inner being with external aids.

[Joy Carter]

I can't say anyone has personally tried to out do me, but I have seen other here make some pretty big claimes, as to what the have done. But what do I know. I lie about who I am when I go out in drab.

[charlie]

Hello Wendy!
I also am not quite sure of the question, but will answer the question by what I write here in the threads. I have been seriously CD for about 18 months now (wig, makeup, going out). At first I was just confused about why I was doing all this. The buying, endless materials on how to do makeup, clothes and wigs! Then I was amazed by how great it all felt. Now I am trying to incorporate it all together and just be "Charlie" the person...me! I think when we are amazed at doing something it must sound like a competition because it comes across as boasting or hyperbole. It is not really the case though, just excitement, confusion and wanting to see if what we are doing and feeling is the same for someone else.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

so what i am asking in your quest to be more fem in your hobby do you think your guy side is way more into the mix than you know???????................

Interesting question.

I think there is a lot of competition between gg's when it comes to their appearance, accomplishments, and popularity - probably more so with younger women. I imagine that it is that element of my own femme-side that drives me to look my best or post a good looking photo of me. As far as accomplishments in cding... I don't have many yet, aside from accepting and loving myself. I have yet to get out en femme, but it's coming up soon if all goes well.

I know that if I could pull off a more attractive female appearance, I'd probably be posting a lot more photos of me hoping to collect some nice compliments. I do work hard on my body and put a LOT of effort into staying in shape - of course I want to flaunt what I've got and get some attention. Where better to flaunt it than with others who get it?

MY guy-side... well, my guy-side is just as competitive as anyone's I guess. But I'd have to say that it's my femme-side that is driving my desire to be seen or "out do" any of the others. Perhaps it's best put that it's simply ME, period, that has a competitive side, or simply wants to be noticed in a positive way.

[Kelsy]

I've never been good at the competition thing, besides I'm always tring to catch up to most of the girls here!!

KELSY

[curse within]

Yes I know he is...I have noticed the same thing going on here and spoke out to it but I really don't want to be part of the problem .. As I have said before ..We all have different levels, we just need to respect each others levels. So in saying that I would make myself out to be a bigot to be out spoken ..

[Nicki B]

Wendy, do you think genetic females are not competitive?


Speaking personally, the only person there's really any point in challenging is myself?

[Kathi Lake]

It may not be competitiveness as much as "Aren't I cute? Please compliment me!" I'm as guilty of this occasionally as anyone. We all seek attention. We are in a forum where we get attention by being as feminine as possible. Competition? To-may-toe, to-mah-to.

Kathi

[stevieseven]

I think i get what you're saying, but gender is just an identity. I really can't revolve from one thing to another, the two halves justifying themselves in order to come to an understanding of something that really is beyond understanding- the Human Soul. Maybe you need to get past your own stereotypes OF YOUR SELF?
Ego-centricity does not discriminate- maybe there is a predominance of it in the community, since we're all used to being "2nd class citizens"
IS the grass greener on the other side? Both genders have their perks and drawbacks, it's just which perks and drawbacks appeal to you...
I debate the concept all the time of why us people crossdress or in a permanent sense,get SRS. Dont we just exchange one set of problems/limitations/standards for another?
I'll never pass as a real female, but i can look good trying. For me, it's the balance that i strive for- It's a matter of survival. If i go too far in my male psyche, or cut off the feminine i'll end up killing myself or someone else. This is how we acheive surviving the conflict that most normal people would rather not discover that exists in everyone with a soul.
Beyond how i see myself, deep down i know i am neither male or female.
It is more of of becoming more human than trying to be the other gender...

[Kelli Michelle]

I suppose some are competing, but it appears most are simply trying to get opinions, celebrate their femininity, etc. It would be natural to assume that some of the male traits (competiveness especially) would rear their heads. But I don't get that vibe from the posts at all. We, as cders and ts, often need that affirmation that all our hard work has not gone in vain. Probably need it more than most ggs if that is possible.

[Wendy me]

To hear you call it a "hobby" is both surprising and disappointing.
In fact, it feels like being patronised.

I am here to express "me".

No competition. No testosterone alpha male competition.
Just someone expessing their inner being with external aids.

call your dressing what you might ... call why you dress what you like .........explane why you do what you do in any way you want .... believe me sister making you or any other member here feel like being patronised or any thing in that way is not my point here ............

i went though the thing i do .... thinking i was some freak ... that i was sick hell i even thought i was a Cross dresser for a while .... and each stage was meant with much inner looking and wondering why me ...........

so sister calling cross dressing a (HOBBY) is not all together that bad hell when i got to were i thought i was a cross dresser i was amazed i survived the trip..........

[Nicki B]

i went though the thing i do .... thinking i was some freak ... that i was sick hell i even thought i was a Cross dresser for a while .... and each stage was meant with much inner looking and wondering why me ............

So, how do you identify yourself now, Wendy?


TBH, you sound angry..

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Wait a minute - did I miss something?

I took the thread-starter as basically a question of "do you try to show off in a playful way to the others?"

Was it meant as "are you trying to show that you're better than the others?"

If it was the latter, than my response a few posts back would seem like I'm some kind of show-off jerk, which I am not. I do flaunt what I've got a little, but in a playful way, and NOT in a "look how much better I am than you are" way. I mean, there are a zillion t-girls out there who put me to shame BIG TIME. I'm not competing, so much as playing. I think we all want some attention with our femme appearances, right? Ok, many of us, anyway. That is why we post pics, or so I would think.

Just read some other responses and started second guessing what this was really about. Lighthearted fun for me. That's all.

[Wendy me]

So, how do you identify yourself now, Wendy?


TBH, you sound angry..

hell that's easy and it only took a short 50 years to get to .....i am just a person with some interesting "EXTRAS"..................i no longer have a "HIM" or a "HER" side .... for now this is a good place for me.... clothing or what ever dose not change who i am .... i am me..............lol angry.... no...... just happy being me......

[curse within]

hell that's easy and it only took a short 50 years to get to .....i am just a person with some interesting "EXTRAS"..................i no longer have a "HIM" or a "HER" side .... for now this is a good place for me.... clothing or what ever dose not change who i am .... i am me..............lol angry.... no...... just happy being me......

...That's what I am talking about no so much Him but not a she at all just me..

[Lorileah]

Wendy, do you think genetic females are not competitive?


Speaking personally, the only person there's really any point in challenging is myself?

They don't call it competitive. They call it catty.


On that note, I have not been to the local T-bars for awhile. One reason was that I felt like I was in enemy territory. I try to look good when I dress. I am not always successful and often feel like I fail but in a public place where there are a lot of "T-girls" I get the cold shoulder and the look down the nose. So yes, I think TG's are very competitive. I don't think this is a "guy" thing as such. Look around, females are become the new male when it comes to aggression and anger.

Here? I don't think so. What I see is a large group of like minded people who try to support each other in the best way we can.

[Nicki B]

They don't call it competitive. They call it catty.

Spend any time working in a mainly female, professional environment and you'll quickly realise it's a jungle...

[Kate Simmons]

You are one of the few here who sees that Wendy and you get it. The very nature of the competitive BS belies the claimed inherent femininity some claim to have.

[docrobbysherry]

Because it's the only way we have to show off our "secret fantasy life". Otherwise, it is only in our mirror, with our pics, and MAYBE, to an SO.
I guess I do my share of showing off with my pics. But, it's not REALLY me! It's my fantasy women! And I don't think I've never tried to fool anyone into thinking otherwise!

We don't get to go out dressed, as others here do. Or to socialise with others like us.

However, going back to your original question, " Trying to outdo each other". U probably meant, what is said in MANY OF THE POSTS HERE. NOT just pics, or discussions about looks.

Do u really see THAT much of THAT attitude here, Wendy? I guess I don't. I find most of the members here to be;
upfront, helpful, sympathetic, informed, open minded, polite, and kind!

[Angie G]

I'm just treying to be the best girl I can. I;m no better then anyone and not as good as some. I just wanna be Angie.
Angie

[Persephone]

Do u really see THAT much of THAT attitude here, Wendy? I guess I don't. I find most of the members here to be;
upfront, helpful, sympathetic, informed, open minded, polite, and kind!

Whenever I read about the daring exploits of others here I see those posts as not only seeking praise, but as inspiration.

I come here to read interesting posts, to learn, to be supportive of others, to have fun, and, yes, sometimes to post my various exploits hopefully to receive some attagirls as well as to encourage others.

There may be some here who tend to post fantasy as reality, but, for the most part, I assume that almost all posts are genuine and, except for those that really chime my BS detector, I treat them as such.

As to my own posts, it has taken me a lot of years (and ache) to come out of my closet as far as I have. I'm very proud of my tolerant spouse and, frankly, of my own achievements.

Not proud in an "I'm here and you're not" attitude, because, along the way, I finally figured out that everyone has, and deserves, their own comfort level. We should gather together to support each other, and to encourage each other, but not to push each other beyond our individual comfort zone.

So, Wendy, I certainly don't come here to "one up" anyone else in this group. There are plenty of women to "one up" out in the real world (and I love that game!).

And, like others have said, if you think men are competitive, you just haven't joined a pack of women yet! The claws seldom come out when men are present, but women don't have pretty nails for nothing!

[TxKimberly]

To hear you call it a "hobby" is both surprising and disappointing.
In fact, it feels like being patronised.

I am here to express "me".

No competition. No testosterone alpha male competition.
Just someone expessing their inner being with external aids.

I'm with her!
No question that I make a lot of posts talking about what I have done, am doing, and hope to do. Believe it or not, my intent is not really bragging, it's more about sharing with my peers.
If you go back to some of my early posts here, you will see a progression, a growing if you will. I started by being fairly timid, talking about things I wanted to do, talking about things I was doing even though they scared the hell outta me. Now, after many years I do pretty much what I like and have come a long way. A GREAT deal of that progress, a great deal of the support that gave me the confidence, and so many wonderful experiences, came from right here on this forum. People like Holly, Karen, Suzy, Deja, Sally, and so many more. The people here are my peers, almost like a family, and I like to share my ups and downs, failures and triumphs with them.
With whho else can I share the thrill of going to dinner, a movie, or a club as a woman?