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Thread: Separation of the Ways

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member
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    Separation of the Ways

    This AM, the wife suddenly shuts off the TV and says "we've got to talk. to make a long story short she announces we are visiting a lawyer and you can go your way in your finery and I 'll go mine. We now have two houses and Dianne can have her way and I'll have AZ. There are added circumstances like neither of us can discuss current politics, racial tensions and the general social atmosphere. Money is not the problems.... However, I have thought about it for several hours now and I am loooking forward to a make-over whereever I can find it and making up at my leisure. I even went so far as to show her my lovely breastforms (8's in a VS C38 bra) and ask her to feel them. Girls, I am so giddy, where can I get voice lessons?

  2. #2
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    Good for you if this is what you want. Be careful in pushing your cross dressing into your wife's face. She may use this against you somehow. This has got to be tough on you so go slowly & protect yourself.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Ruth's Avatar
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    I agree with Patricia: be careful. Not wishing to put down your wife at all but she is evidently not sympathetic to your CDing and will not feel any particular need to be protective or loyal to you after you have gone your separate ways - in fact she may just use your CDing to her advantage.
    Not saying she's a bad person, just not on your side any more.
    [SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]

  4. #4
    Fember Lauren Richards's Avatar
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    Go easy

    I agree with Patti. Take it easy right now. Sounds like this has been a long time coming, and the crossdressing is just the easiest target for the seperation. You will be having months of legal and emotional challenges ahead of you (been there, done that, without the added issue of crossdressing) and like any roller coaster, there are moments of terror as well as joy. Until it is final, you never know what she is going to hit you with. Be kind, but be careful.

  5. #5
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    Gee, you sound absolutely heart-broken!

    Don't let the Pink Fog envelop you until all the details are ironed out and the papers are signed, hunny.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Sheila's Avatar
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    Wow am overjoyed that you have taken the break-up of your marriage so well
    I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
    Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Daintre's Avatar
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    I am a bit lost here, to me there must have been a lengthy time when you and your soon to be ex were together. Are there no kids / grand kids around or is this just a clean break no strings attached? Well there already are strings though, can't talk about certain subjects and so on. I guess I don't see the bright side here, just another failed marriage and I find that sad.
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  8. #8
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    It's nice to see your wife meant so much to you Dianne, i hope you're very happy with your new situation

  9. #9
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Wow... That was easy? To heck with the makeover and go straight for the SRS! Lol.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  10. #10
    Trans Adventurer supreme RobertaM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    Wow... That was easy? To heck with the makeover and go straight for the SRS! Lol.
    Surprised you didnt say "Where do i find the drive thru sex change clinic?"

  11. #11
    Administrator Tamara Croft's Avatar
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    Wow, I'm gobsmacked... no wonder your wife is divorcing you, all you care about is yourself... and asking her to feel your breastforms? seriously? grow the hell up... You don't need voice lessons, you need growing up lessons... Your wife is well rid!
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    Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn

  12. #12
    Member Sophie Lynne's Avatar
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    All i have to say is: wow.

    I'm wearing a skirt?

  13. #13
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Dianne, I've said this MANY times before;

    Based ON MY EXPERIENCE, marriages don't breakup over CDing. It MAY be the icing on the cake, tho!
    Sounds like your "cake" was sugarless anyway!

    As one whose been there, I suggest u hire a VERY GOOD ATTORNEY! U will NEED one!

    If you're going to receive the state of Arizona, as your half of your divorce settlement, u can CERTAINLY afford the BEST!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
    Barbara
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruth View Post
    I agree with Patricia: be careful. Not wishing to put down your wife at all but she is evidently not sympathetic to your CDing and will not feel any particular need to be protective or loyal to you after you have gone your separate ways - in fact she may just use your CDing to her advantage.
    Not saying she's a bad person, just not on your side any more.
    Sounds like good advice, divorce seems to bring out the worst in some people. As for your state of mind, being giddy, I know that feeling as well. Once I had made the decision and announced it to my ex a lot of weight was lifted. I doubt if anyone here has all the facts, or even enough of the facts to judge your marriage or divorce situation. I will wish only the best for you, and your wife. There are many here if you need a shoulder to cry on, either tears of joy or sorrow.

    Hugs,
    Barbara

    Let it Blossom - Let it grow

  15. #15
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    Growing up!!!

    Your absolutely right. It is growing upwhen these things occurr. I appreciate the kind words offerred earlier and it was long the way that support is out there. Any way, hope to make this as amicable as two women can work things out.

  16. #16
    Member Jaydee's Avatar
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    I can't imagine how anyone can describe the breakup of their marriage with the word "giddy", no matter how difficult it had become. Good Luck, I think you'll need it.

    Jaydee

  17. #17
    Silver Member Jodi's Avatar
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    You said "money is not a problem". It is obvious that you have never been down the divorce route before. First thing is--you had better get yourself a very good lawyer. Believe me, it will cost you a bundle. But if you don't have a very good lawyer, it will cost you a very, very, very, big bundle.

    I don't know where you live. If your state is a community property state, she will automatically get 50%. In most all other states, it is an equitable distribution. Depending upon how long you have been married, and how good her lawyer is, she could end up getting 70-75% of your marital assets. Remember, all assets are marital assets regardless whose name the asset is in.

    It's tough to go out and get that makeover when you are paying most of your income out in spousal support.

    Your fun and stress and just beginning. I've been there and done that. It's not only no fun, it is a matter of survival.

    Jodi

  18. #18
    Love = Acceptance Mrs. X (gg)'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by diannecourtney View Post
    there added circumstances like neither of us can discuss current politics, racial tensions and the general social atmosphere. Money is not the problems....

    Are you actually talking about your wife...sounds more like biz partner, an accoutant, attorney or an associate...all of the above, more than the woman you're married too.
    [SIZE="2"]"At the end, what really matters is whom you love and who loved you"[/SIZE]

  19. #19
    I live in the real world! DaphneGrey's Avatar
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    Marriages don't end because of crossddessing they end because people are self centered and selfish. Hey are marriage is over feel my breast forms and look at my bra. What an ass. I am always amazed at how self centered and selfish crossddessers can be. Get over yourself
    Living the life I choose!

  20. #20
    The former Melissa I Michelle I's Avatar
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    I can not beleve how easy it is to say its over, no feelings no love, just look at my breast forms. I lost my wife over 2 years ago, miss her more than ever. Its a shame love and marrage are not the same to some people.

  21. #21
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    Indefence of it all

    Ladies: Do accept my apologies for lighting up a storm. However, we have been blessed with certain understandings over the years and they were handled by my business goings and comings.But with the pot on the burner in retirement, they never cool off. Yes I do love her but she has made love a math formula that never adds up.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Presh GG's Avatar
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    Oh yea - blame her

    AFTER ALL IT"S ALL ABOUT YOU !!!!

    YOU NEED MORE THAN A LAWER - YOU NEED A SHRINK !!!

    I hope she GETS YOU PRECIOUS BREAST FORMS IN YOR DIVORSE !

    sprinktime gg

  23. #23
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    Good for you!

    She tells you, "We're going to go see a lawyer TOGETHER!"

    So, what's the problem?

    You got married together; you can get divorced together.

    I get it. Good for both of you!

    So far, so good. All that's required to get a divorce is properly filing the papers to dissolve the legal bonds, stating the mutually agreed division of property, and having the judge agree that fair enough is fair enough according to the laws of whatever state you're in... Of the fifty states, not necessarily the state of relief you're both going to feel when you get free of each others' grating habits, opinions, and, er, food preferences.

    IF either of you object to anything of consequence, however, THEN pull up a chair and watch the attorneys beat your initial agreement, and any hopes of future happiness, to death. If there are asses in your present or your future, it will be the attorneys. But, so long as you get along and both feel your arrangement leaves each of you better off than you are now, then fine and dandy.

    Good luck to you, by the way, in experimenting with anything you want after you and she have tried long enough and hard enough to make your marriage work. Take a vacation from that life for a while. But, probably just for a while. It's difficult, scary, and maybe even a bit dangerous on you own. If you're like most people, you'll try for a bit of fun and settle down again eventually. Be safe, be careful, and, be wise.

    Good luck to you both, and, again, GOOD for you - both of you!

  24. #24
    Silver Member linnea's Avatar
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    "Giddy": when this word emerged into the English language in the 13th century (even earlier as "gydig" in Old English), it meant "possessed by a god" which in turn meant "mad" and "foolish." This was not a good thing; it was "gudam" (or by god damned).
    You may have described your situation more accurately than you realized--foolish and flighty. I hope that I'm wrong, but I think that you are in and of a world of hurt. And it doesn't look as if it's going to get better any time soon.
    warmly, Linnea

  25. #25
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by diannecourtney View Post
    I even went so far as to show her my lovely breastforms (8's in a VS C38 bra) and ask her to feel them. Girls, I am so giddy, where can I get voice lessons?
    Oh you need something alright, but it's not voice lessons.

    The fog is strong with this one.

    By the way, the sound you hear is not cheering, its the sound of the waves crashing on the rocky shore dead ahead. You better find your heading and a lighthouse through all that fog your sailing through right now before you end up washed ashore.
    Warning: This post may contain up to 63% post consumer recycled Sarcasm ... or Peanuts."
    "Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD

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