Pent up something!

[Misty is Kindafem]

I've noticed this since my second visit as a lurker. I never really thought about anger or hostility, but I did find it very interesting that the straight white male patriarchy was alive and well on CD.com

I have to admit that one of the main reasons I lurked for so long is because part of my struggle is understanding my sexuality (faaabulous!) and I didn't feel like I belonged in a forum where the majority of girls are married to real girls and fly their straight flag every chance they get.

Look, I don't have any problem with straight people (there's really nothing wrong with it) but I know there's at least a few other girls like me on this board, they're just a little quieter. Don't get me started on the Alpha males around here.

The real problem is the ... the self hate. There I said it. So many of the regulars are so oppressed by their lives and wives that they come on here and affect this faux femininity because it's the only place they can feel free. Virtually free. Some girls literally bubble out of their closets with these weird asides (tee hee, blushes, giggles) and it makes this place take on a strange Disneyfied kind of feel. Real women just don't talk the way we present ourselves on this board half the time. You don't need to remind me that I'm not a real woman either honey, but it seems like we're all so afraid of offending the all powerful SO's that we've become G rated cartoons of ourselves.

Pent up anger? How about pent up sexual energy? Many girls have admitted this is the only place they go when dressed. How can you not be sexually charged when dressed to the nines? That's hot! I dress up and play on my webcam sometimes and I flirt with dozens of men and I loooove it!
If this forum was the only release I had for my wonderful feminine energy then I would probably be threatening to break your arm if you gave me a hug too.

Thankfully there are some incredible and inspirational girls on here (some have boyfriends, yes you mentioned that honey, ...bitch) and some have wives but they are very real and they are why I finally joined. I also want to help give a voice to the other queers like me and to have at least one more tiny freak flag waving in the testosterone breeze that sometimes blows through here.

If we can't be open and honest here, then where?

[Terrihoney]

As one of the many straight males that have a femme side that needs to get out and about once in awhile, welcome to the forum!
I don't tee hee or giggle much, but...

Hugs, Terri

[Miranda-E]

If we can't be open and honest here, then where?

Be honest in the world
You have to view these sites as entertainment only. Its a parody, and personal vision of what CD's should be rather then the real world. Male SO's aren't really welcome here, their presence impedes the personal vision.

[Sheila]

Be honest in the world
Male SO's aren't really welcome here, their presence impedes the personal vision.

??????????? I do believe that you have that wrong hun ..... this is a site for all TG's their family and friends

[Shelly Preston]

Be honest in the world
You have to view these sites as entertainment only. Its a parody, and personal vision of what CD's should be rather then the real world. Male SO's aren't really welcome here, their presence impedes the personal vision.

Every SO is welcome as are friends and family

We are here for the support of all not just one particular group

[curse within]

As a Alpha male, that you may or may not be reffering to I would like to welcome you to the forum. I agree many do fly the straight flag here as I am very quilty of that but then again others do fly the gay flag.. Nothing wrong with that.


It took me awhile to understand that gays do crossdress ( I am still sorta new to this ) Through all my reading and desire to need and want understanding as to why I like to dress, I have stumbled upon some interesting reading, one stating that gays do not tend to xdress( whole different topic)... So in being honest I think you may have touched on something that has a valid point.

Speaking for myself and through years of supression I stired clear of any gays , I didn't want it tied into my dressing. It is popular belief that one is gay to be a crossdresser.. Stupid I know but the reality of it is there, too bad huh? Now I want to make it clear I have no problems with gay people!! So keep your unwanted comments about that to yourself because that is far from the truth.

I will say I feel that my dressing and the fear of soceity linking it to me being gay has placed a homophobia tag on me.. Here and only here has proved that fear as just that a fear and until soceity see's it as the truth then that fear remains.. So in trying to be honest on here as only got me in trouble ,I feel that there are very few like me that come here as it shows most here are accepting and wish to become the fantacey they protray themselves as female. I know what I am and I have every right to fight it , but as I have learned long ago this is not the place to do that.

So what I have tried to do was gather others who feel as I do with out the pros to xdressing raining on my threads , but without support thet will never happen.

[Kerrie Sifton]

I am not sure where you are going with this Misty. So many of the the individuals here are at very different states in the recognition of their identity and discovering where they are mentally, physically and sexually.
There is such a broad spectrum and each of us fits in somewhere. Being feminine, being flirty and enjoying the dressing can be so different, and alot of it depends upon your particular situation, your friends and family and the opportunity to express oneself.

But thanks for prompting the discussion.

[Sheila]

I
I have to admit that one of the main reasons I lurked for so long is because part of my struggle is understanding my sexuality (faaabulous!) and I didn't feel like I belonged in a forum where the majority of girls are married to real girls and fly their straight flag every chance they get.

Don't get me started on the Alpha males around here.

You don't need to remind me that I'm not a real woman either honey, but it seems like we're all so afraid of offending the all powerful SO's that we've become G rated cartoons of ourselves.

Thankfully there are some incredible and inspirational girls on here (some have boyfriends, yes you mentioned that honey, ...bitch) and some have wives but they are very real and they are why I finally joined. I also want to help give a voice to the other queers like me and to have at least one more tiny freak flag waving in the testosterone breeze that sometimes blows through here.

wow ............ firstly .......... I like the alpha males on here ............... and one of them very ,very much

secondly the stright males on here are not usualyy flaunting their sexuality, they are generally responding to the heartfelt cry of a GG who on discovering the partner is a CDER, wonders if they are gay .. Curses within herself said

Speaking for myself and through years of supression I steered clear of any gays , I didn't want it tied into my dressing.

, ....so therefore if a CDER themselves fear connection to homosexuality and dressing then is it not reasonable to assume a new SO asks the question.

Trust me hun the GG's on here do not feel very powerful at all ............. but I am damned if I will let a majority run riot over our small minority ............ I will stand up for my beliefs and those of others if I feel they are being made a mockery off or are being attacked unfairly ..... hell the F2M's are in an even smaller minority here, and many are even more reluctant than the GG's to venture into this part of the forum that should not be so

I have throught my life had several same sex friends ...... I don't have a problem with anybodyies sexuality ................ whether someone is hetrosexual, homosexual. lesbain or Bi-sexual or asexual, or any descript I have left out ........... att he end of the day they are human beings and that is what counts surely

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Who you callin' straight? And, btw, I don't giggle, I titter.

-Joni Mari

[Violetgray]

I'm not sure I fully understand your post. But I will say that sure, this board does seem to be straight male dominated, but that to an extent, that just reflects the mainstream. More straight males are on this board because more straight males are crossdressers. If half of all crossdressers were gay, I think that the boards would reflect that.

You speak of self hate, and I'm sure there are some examples on this board somewhere, but I'm not sure that I understand how you say it manifests? Giggles and Blushes? What does that have to do with self hate?

I do agree that there is sometimes a sense of affected femininity here, however.

[Misty is Kindafem]

Who you callin' straight? And, btw, I don't giggle, I titter.

-Joni Mari

I wasn't talking about anyone specifically, just the whole, um zeitgeist if you will.

...and Joni, if I had just a third of your courage I would live a completely different life. You ARE one of the inspirational girls I was talking about. You F'n ROCK.

-Misty

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Jeeze, Misty. You sure know how to butter up a girl. And ya know what, I have always been curious about that phrase, it just conjures up so many, umm, interesting images. Wanna be pals? And for what my opinion is worth, perhaps a large tub of butter substitute, I think you'll actually like it here, it's a pretty cool place. Gonna go warm up some butter now, it's rec time.

Hugs...Joni Mari

I wasn't talking about anyone specifically, just the whole, um zeitgeist if you will.

...and Joni, if I had just a third of your courage I would live a completely different life. You ARE one of the inspirational girls I was talking about. You F'n ROCK.

-Misty

[Misty is Kindafem]

Violet said -
Giggles and Blushes? What does that have to do with self hate? I do agree that there is sometimes a sense of affected femininity here, however

I say, Violet you are so damn pretty I hate you.

I also say, the self hate pushes people into places so dark that the tiniest glimpse of light will cause an intense blooming. The effort to feel as feminine as possible is so profound that you actually see it. The effort becomes obvious and in this case that effort includes (giggles & blushes). I'm not criticizing those that make parenthetical remarks (lord knows I've made a few) I'm just saying that ... oh hell I don't really know what I'm saying. Something about being scared of ourselves and cartoon femininity. I can't remember.

-Misty

Joanne said-
Hello Misty, and welcome, i think that you need a few more than two visit`s to judge the people on here and what they stand for. Most do not fly under any flag as they are not judgemental and we are a very mixed bunch.

and I said,

I'd been lurking for nearly three months before I finally joined so I think I had a pretty good feel for the group. It was my initial impression that kept me away. But you are right of course, and it's the girls you describe that gave me a reason to come back and eventually the desire to join them.

-Misty

[MissConstrued]

Don't get me started on the Alpha males around here.

The Alpha males aren't the ones threatened or bothered by gays.

It's kind of ironic, too. Some "straight" guys will get their hackles up, and talk about punching out any guy who might hit on them. But how would they like it if every woman who didn't want their attention beat them up?

[Sarah Doepner]

Misty,

I'm wondering if some of the proclaimations of "I'm a Straight Crossdresser" you see here are maybe that first step toward acceptance and away from the self-hate so many of us feel when attempting to come to terms with our gender issues. Some of it may also be a flag to lend specificity or credibility to our questions or responses regarding heterosexual relationship issues. I hope I haven't posted anything that falls into that questionable zietgeist you mention. I thought I learned long ago that crossdressing runs roughshod over us regardless of sex or sexual orientation.

As far as "Alpha Males" go, I can't seem to identify any here. There are some strong personalities and folks who are very good at what they do. If I had a question on makeup, I'd go to the Alpha Makeup gal, Karren and if it was a dress issue I'd drop a line to Alpha Dress gal, Marla. I'd suggest not to read more into some of the posts than are actually there, sit back and enjoy the ride.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

That's not funny. It's happened to me lots of times.<sob>

Hugs...Joni Mari

But how would they like it if every woman who didn't want their attention beat them up?

[Karren H]

Maybe its just gas?? I get that a lot... Pent up gas bloated feeling. Often mistaken for pent up anger or pent up sexuality? Beats me.. Gas-X works good!!

Ohhh and the only thing I every get pent up is.... Shopping energys.. Yeah.. Don't get between me and a clearence rack of dresses!! Lol.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I'm not sure I fully understand your post.

I do agree that there is sometimes a sense of affected femininity here, however.

That's right, sweetie/honey/hon/hun/sugah/darlin my purple wearing LARPing nerdypooh. Tee hee, giggle. I am soooo naughty.


Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Lorileah]

I wanna fly a flag. Why do only straights and gays get flags? I wanna Princess flag.

and I wanna be alpha male once. As they say unless you are the lead dog the view never changes.

But I get your point. Maybe because I take things too literally sometimes. It does get annoying when someone says "hey I might want to date/flirt with a guy" and eleventeen people go "eeeeww never I am straight" or my favorite "I am a lesbian in a man's body." Somehow a straight lesbian seems an oxymoron. BTW, check your plumbing...you ain't a lesbian

I like that Disneyland reference. And I agree. Sometimes I see the sign "you have to be this messed up to post here." I don't know about the pent up sexual thing though. I think I have become asexual...maybe I'll be going through fission soon. Just what this forum needs, two of me. Many people admit to come here dressed (your words) because for some reason they still think they are abnormal. Thousands of posts trying to get "us" to start thinking we are "ok" and we keep kicking ourselves in the (you choose the anatomy).

Gay crossdressers are not the majority here. Gay crossdressers are a rare bird totally. For some reason gays like guys...go figure. But gay crossdressers have just as much to say here as us no-flag omega sissy males. Welcome! And PLEASE help us out with your point of view.

[kellycan27]

I will say I feel that my dressing and the fear of soceity linking it to me being gay has placed a homophobia tag on me.. Here and only here has proved that fear as just that a fear and until soceity see's it as the truth then that fear remains.. So in trying to be honest on here as only got me in trouble ,I feel that there are very few like me that come here as it shows most here are accepting and wish to become the fantacey they protray themselves as female. I know what I am and I have every right to fight it , but as I have learned long ago this is not the place to do that.

I don't see what the big deal is in regards to your fear that society may or may not think that you are gay. Why would you even care what some uninformed people think. Does not being gay lessen the impact that you have on society. He dresses in female clothing,but at least he isn't gay. My point is this... Those unaccepting types are not going to take the time to try and figure out if you are a str8 or gay crossdresser. Even if you wore a sign hanging around your neck proclaiming your str8ness, i seriously doubt that it would make a difference to those people.
It seems to me that your homophobia is of your own design, while you may not have anything against homosexuals, you are very quick to distance yourself from them. Which you have every right to do, as well as the right to proclaim your str8ness. You are not unlike the society that you blame for linking you to being gay because you crossdress.... Your predjudice is showing.
I always giggle when this sexual identity thing comes up.. What doe it matter especially in this forum. I don' think that there are many in here who really give a rat's butt what someones orientation is or isn't... except for maybe those who are unaccepting of another group..just like the people they whine about not accepting or thinking that they are perverts, and gays and child molesters. I truly think that sometimes some protest too much..

I am not singling you out, because it happens a lot ... I just think it's counter productive to the entire group.

[DianneRoberts]

Maybe its just gas?? I get that a lot... Pent up gas bloated feeling. Often mistaken for pent up anger or pent up sexuality? Beats me.. Gas-X works good!!

Ohhh and the only thing I every get pent up is.... Shopping energys.. Yeah.. Don't get between me and a clearence rack of dresses!! Lol.

Ben Franklin said "F*rt Proudly".


Every other Hockey player that I know does.............?......

But there again is another advantage to stockings over pantyhose.
If you do f@rt at least wearing stockings, your legs won't blow up.


Sorry, just had to say it..... my other 10% made me do it

[TSchapes]

I too tire of some of the alpha dog nonsense in here. I love to hear from other voices, that need to be heard. I got what you're talking about.

And...welcome...

Love, Tracy

[Bethany38]

Kelly,
you are as smart as you are beautiful, and I completely agree with... "I always giggle when this sexual identity thing comes up.. What doe it matter especially in this forum. I don' think that there are many in here who really give a rat's butt what someones orientation is or isn't... except for maybe those who are unaccepting of another group..just like the people they whine about not accepting or thinking that they are perverts, and gays and child molesters. I truly think that sometimes some protest too much.. "

That is right along with what I was thinking. Thank you for saving my fingers some walking


Always Bethany

[curse within]

I don't see what the big deal is in regards to your fear that society may or may not think that you are gay. Why would you even care what some uninformed people think. Does not being gay lessen the impact that you have on society. He dresses in female clothing,but at least he isn't gay. My point is this... Those unaccepting types are not going to take the time to try and figure out if you are a str8 or gay crossdresser. Even if you wore a sign hanging around your neck proclaiming your str8ness, i seriously doubt that it would make a difference to those people.
It seems to me that your homophobia is of your own design, while you may not have anything against homosexuals, you are very quick to distance yourself from them. Which you have every right to do, as well as the right to proclaim your str8ness. You are not unlike the society that you blame for linking you to being gay because you crossdress.... Your predjudice is showing.
I always giggle when this sexual identity thing comes up.. What doe it matter especially in this forum. I don' think that there are many in here who really give a rat's butt what someones orientation is or isn't... except for maybe those who are unaccepting of another group..just like the people they whine about not accepting or thinking that they are perverts, and gays and child molesters. I truly think that sometimes some protest too much..

I am not singling you out, because it happens a lot ... I just think it's counter productive to the entire group.

Why??Let me first say I understand you not knowing why ,how could you ? I am not singling you out because it's a mis understanding for most.. Reason.. for MOST not all but most GG's the biggest fear is their CDer being gay..Bad thing if GG's are what you are into..Know what I mean?

So yeah big reason to blend the two..

[TGMarla]

Misty, I guess I'm not at all sure just what you're mad at. You seem to have some kind of resentment against straight people. I mean, so what if you're gay? There may not be a plurality of people just like you in every way on this forum, but really, I don't see anyone cracking on you over it, either. "White male patriarchy"?? Spare me. It's just a bunch of people being who they are, nothing more. I've not noticed anyone here climbing all over anyone else due to their sexual orientation. I may be a straight white male, but geez, I'm running around in a dress for crying out loud. Last I checked, that wasn't exactly conforming to the norm. Why don't you live and let live, and just do your best to bring whatever makes you unique to the forum just like everyone else here? We welcome others with open arms. You should do the same. If you feel that the femininity that is expressed here is somehow phony or contrived, try to remember that many who come in here feel that they are repressed in this respect in their everyday lives. That doesn't make them phonies or reflect a "faux femininity". It just means that they finally feel at liberty to express themselves. Sometimes it can be a bit much, but who cares? This place exists to allow them that outlet, just like you.

So welcome, come on in, make yourself at home, and please leave the bitterness out on the porch.

(Cool name, by the way. Misty....I like it.)