Normal, liars or selfish

[JacquiUKTV]

The common idea on this forum is that crossdressing is a normal or atleast relatively normal thing. I've been thinking is it normal though, are crossdressers just liars, they lie to others, not being what they seem, and/or they lie to themselves, that what they are is normal and not a problem or that they are just a neutral gender and not possibly a homosexual. The other idea is that it's based in selfishness all about indulging themselves and not caring enough about others, looking to themselves to acheive what they want.

I'm sure that the response on this forum will be mostly that what I think is wrong and that I am talking out of my ass. However, I am becoming more steadfast in the idea that crossdressing is not a normal human behavior and one that needs to be corrected.

I think your question needs to be addressed like this: there is a difference between what might be called 'normal' in terms of anyone's personal psychological development, and what is deemed 'normal=socially-acceptable' in terms of one's relationship to the society you happening to be living in.

As regards the latter, 'normal' is largely a matter of the agreed-upon values of whatever place you're in: for example, in certain Islamic cultures it's 'normal' for women to wear the burkha, whereas in western society it's 'normal' for women to wear make-up, miniskirts and heels.

In some parts of the Islamic world female circumcision is considered 'normal'; in certain Oriental cultures it was considered 'normal' to tightly-bind the feet of young girls to inhibit growth. In what's loosely referred-to as 'Ancient Greece' it was considered 'normal' for older men to have intimate sexual relations with teenage boys...I could go on.

'Normal' in the societal sense appears to be a flexible proposition; it was only in 1967...1968...can't remember...that homosexuality was de-criminalised here in the UK in accordance with the recommendations of the 'Wolfenden Report'; more to do with expediency than altruism I think, but a step forward nonetheless.

As regards the former point, without wishing to go all 'Freudian' on you I would say that desires such as needing to cross-dress are something that emerge according to one's personal earliest experiences at an 'unconscious' or 'pre-conscious' level; this is to say (with acknowledged brevity) that the desire to cross-dress, for whatever exact reason is something that is a part of you; it's not your 'fault'...something you should feel guilty about.

I get the feeling, Andrea, that you're in conflict between what you feel is 'normal' and what your world tells you is 'normal'.

You're not the first, won't be the last; hope my humble comments are of use.

Jacqui.

[LA CINDY LOVE]

On this form crossdressing is a normal behavior......because that is what we do, but to society they feel that what we do is abnormal,....try to tell someone who dose not dress that if a man wants to wear women clothing it is normal.....but like so many have said what is normal......there was a time when society call rock and roll abnormal behavior.

I feel that crossdressing is not normal or abnormal........it is a way of life and how to live it.


LA CINDY LOVE

[Deborah Jane]

The common idea on this forum is that crossdressing is a normal or atleast relatively normal thing.

Well i guess it would seem like that with this being a crossdressing forum

However, I am becoming more steadfast in the idea that crossdressing is not a normal human behavior and one that needs to be corrected.

Logically very few things we do in the 21st century are normal human behaviour, we are afterall Hunter Gatherers by definition.
But since as a society we have evolved from that, many if not most most things we do now could be considered abnormal.
Is flying normal human behaviour?....By definition No, but we do it every day in machines constructed by ourselves or by humans very similar to us.
Is space travel normal human behaviour?....Slowly it is becoming that way and over time it will become a perfectly normal and everyday thing for most of us to do.

Evolution in every way is normal human behaviour, after if we hadn't evolved from what we were, we would still be running around in animal skins hunting Mammoths into extinction!!!

[Kelsy]

Normal??? Hmmm I don't recall ever seeing it! In fact I believe it is becoming even more elusive!

Kelsy

[Emily01]

The common idea on this forum is that crossdressing is a normal or at least relatively normal thing. I've been thinking is it normal though, are crossdressers just liars, they lie to others, not being what they seem, and/or they lie to themselves, that what they are is normal and not a problem or that they are just a neutral gender and not possibly a homosexual. The other idea is that it's based in selfishness all about indulging themselves and not caring enough about others, looking to themselves to acheive what they want.

I'm sure that the response on this forum will be mostly that what I think is wrong and that I am talking out of my ass. However, I am becoming more steadfast in the idea that crossdressing is not a normal human behavior and one that needs to be corrected.

[SIZE="3"]you raise some interesting ideas and i imagine that the responses only begin to scratch the surface since we all live different lives. that said, has anyone ever given you feedback on delivery? lol....really no offense meant but you must have had a past-life planting land mines!

• liars in that i don't wear a sign that says i'm a CD? the people who matter most and have a need to know are fully informed - am i required to broadcast the fact?
  
• selfish and self-indulgent to some extent yes, sometimes more so and other times less so. most things seem to seek equilibrium and i do too, don't you? i won't deny that there is a sexual element to my crossdressing, but that hasn't always been the case, and more importantly it isn't the only or primary driver. (perhaps it's only a sexual fetish for some but that hasn't been my experience.) meanwhile ~ back at the ranch ~ i know stand-up guys who fish and well-balanced women who like to read who exhibit far more selfishness than i ever have around crossdressing.
  
• normal ~ lol, hope not! well, i am running around 98.6 at the moment so in that regard i am normal. i have no desire to be terminally unique but neither do i aspire to a monochromatic life and personality. i will give you this much - being a crossdresser is as much burden as it is gift and perhaps more the former. it's not easily understood by others, if at all. and while it offers me a manifestation for a portion of my personality i can't deny that at some level there is a sexuality component so it's really hard to imagine a way to incorporate it into my daily family life, and besides it's damn expensive to boot!
  
• corrected ~ that's where i lost you. geez, you think i'd pick this at the end of the line where god hands out the gifts? couldn't i have just been stuck with a gift for ballet and call it quits? i am how and what i am, i don't know how i came to be this way, i wasn't even fully conscious of my separateness as a person the first time it struck a chord with me at 7 years of age. i didn't find or even connect any sexual gratification to it until i had been at it for 13 years.....what then do i correct - my essence? will a lobotomy do the trick or do you suggest i simply "off" myself and be done with it?

one last note: in the many intervening years since that fateful day when i was seven, i have come to really enjoy and appreciate the fractured genders that lie within. perhaps in the distant future someone like me can live their life unimpeded by societal demands that everyone fit into a narrow proscribed box. i hope that person is able to be and become all that they care to be without harming others and still attending to their obligations to loved-ones and their society. i believe that vision is more compassionate and loving than your "corrective" view. so i'll just hang on to that one thanks.[/SIZE]

[battybattybats]

back to my referance earlier of a lurker... ie read "spy"

Hmm....

I used to be a mod on a large War Of The Worlds website. One year 3 different new films and one musical stage production were all announced based on that book. Not only did our traffic explode but we got a heap of 'sock-puppets', people from each of the films/stageshow drumming up bussiness for themselves and heaping criticism on their competitiors.

The motive was pretty clear for them..

But what for this person if they are a spy? What kind of spy? A Transhobe? A member of a hate-organisation? An unaccepting GG?

And what would motivate this thread? What would a spy imagine would be gained from it?

[TSchapes]

I'm all three:

Normal, everyday crossdresser, who takes care of his family and loves his friends and family.

Liar, in that I lied to number of people that I was not a crossdresser, pushed upon me by the dictates of society. I don't do this anymore.

Selfish, in that I care about myself. If I don't care about myself, all others will suffer. Therefore I crossdress, which makes me happy.

These are personal choices. If people wish to continue to hate themselves, and believe they can be "corrected" by all means continue on this path. The only thing I ask of people here, is if you do find a way to do this, please come back here and tell us how you did it, and how long it lasted. I have yet to see anyone come back and tell us. "I'm Cured!"

We all make personal choices...

-Tracy

[mklinden2010]

Well, you are entitled to your current opinion, and I hope your doubts and questions lead you to a happier place. You are free to think whatever you like, so long as you make an honest effort to find "your" truths amid all the noise in life.

Crossdressing, it seems to me, is a normal human behavior. Lots of people do it; many even enjoy it as part of their entire life experience. The same cannot be so surely said of dolphins, houseflies, and, brown bears... Of course, non-humans don't "normally" wear clothes, but many of them do engage in homosexual behavior. Spend a few years on the farm, or, out on the range, and you'll see some stuff that makes you wonder about nature being "all" natural. It is... You see it right in front of you. But, it isn't... Because some of it seems weird and unlikely. (Especially if you're a Disney fan...)

People do all sorts of things. The less common things are thought of as "abnormal" and the more common things are thought of as "normal." Generally, our thinking about normal and abnormal goes no further than "normal, or, common = good" and "abnormal, or, uncommon = bad." But, as Shakespeare noted, "Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so..."

So, fine for you to make up your mind about all this this week, and, fine for you to change your mind entirely next week. Understand that this is your point of view, however, and that you point of view really controls and/ or determines very little. It may rain today... And, that may be good if your crop needs it - and bad if your house painter doesn't. Whatever you think, however, it's still going to rain. Get used to it.

So, OK to study the problem... Just keep changing your mind until your conclusions work for everyone. You may decide to "live and let live" as a general rule for yourself and others.

I hope so.

[Carly D.]

I feel like I am normal dressing up.. I don't try to force myself on anyone nor tell anyone you just gotta try wearing womens clothing..

Liar; that too I guess because a few years ago my mom asked my brother and me if we knew how it felt to wear pantyhose and my brother said no and I shrugged.. not yes not no just shrugged.. if she would have asked again I know I would have lied and said no but might on the off chance said yes..

Selfish; this I feel I would be selfish if I told my family for the reason of wanting to wear out here at the house or just be out altogether.. and don't think I haven't thought about that idea..