Add another marriage down the tubes/update

[Sherry-Stephanie]

as of this evening....

Been discussing things of late she wanted to start going out to clubs withehr girlfriends and if something came along tha tcaught her eye she wanted to be able to bed it down...Since I haven't been able to perform as a man for 11 years due to a neurological illnessthat left me totally limp..I told her I was OK with that...

yesterdya she took advantage of that and tonight nite she told me that she stopped loving me about two months ago....she said it was because of the Crossdressing and how its's kicked in to over drive recently....

Sooooooo, another down the tubes....

The good thing is I will now be free to move back down to Florida which we moved from 10 years ago and I have really really missed terribley...and will plan on trying to get back down there this fall....

All in all and all I wish my soon to become ex the very best... I thank her for being in my life and it's for the best.

One thing I'll never understand though is why was the fact that I'm bi and she arranged my first bi experience for me and she's bi a bad thing to her but she being bi was OK....as she said I enjoyed it to much...I've never understood that concept. Me bi bad... her bi OK???? Can someone exlain that to me please???? Other thna she was jealous and felt threatned and if that was the case since this happened right after we started dating and moved in together so why did she marry me????

So don't feel sorry....its for the best....I get to be free and unattached and Stephanie will be out free now as well...and we'll be moving back to Florida...yahoooo!!!!!!!!! can't wait....

PS she won't be getting anything..I've given it over to her already jsut incase this day ever came....

OK so who wants to party now and celelbrate....next two nites are goingto be at the gay clubs in nashville.....anyone want to meet up????

[Deb The Brunette]

Hey at least you seem cool with it and I think it's great, I'd party with yer



.

[TxKimberly]

well you said dont feel sorry for you, non the less, it would be a cold day in hell when i celebrate the end of a marriage. I am so sorry that it has come to that for you, and hope that you both see your way to happiness. :-)

[Sheila]

well you said dont feel sorry for you, non the less, it would be a cold day in hell when i celebrate the end of a marriage. I am so sorry that it has come to that for you, and hope that you both see your way to happiness. :-)

I agree with kim, it is a sad sad day when the end of a mariage happens. I do hope the new living arrangements work out for you both

[kathrynjanos]

Well Steph, I'll still express my condolences - it still sucks when love ends, even if you don't feel it now or ever. But good luck, and based upon your wishes, even if she's a bit illogical, I also hope that what she does brings her happiness.

Hopefully you're going to be plenty happy with your own life back as you want it.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Please love my about to becoem ex with all my heart and soul only want the best for her and if she can't be happy with me then I'll let her fly free like a butterfly....she was there when I was serioulsy ill and paralyszed and she she had to feed me bathed me and everything else... She's a great girl she jsut couldn't accept this new phase that I've gone into...I can't fault her for that....I am not a man because I've lost the ability to perform as a man... she has a right to experience her womanhood....I want her happy that is the paramount love I have for her....her happiness for herself and if she can't get it from em anymore for who I am now then she needs to look else where....

She will never find anyone who loved her the way I do....nor will I.

So now I guess life will go on and we'll se ehat is over the next hill for both of us....

Please no Oh I'm so sorry....I don't need it it and rally don't want to look a tit that way....

Thanks...

PS I'm looking to go to the Ft. Myers area..so anyone can give me a heads up on how things are there now let me know...I lived in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area for 20 years but use to hang on vacation over in Ft. Myers Beach....

Dang this dressing stuff sure is toxic!!!!!

[Miranda09]

Always sorry to hear about a marriage breaking up, but it sounds like you're handling well. Maybe you've been ready for this for a long time? Anyway, you know you have friends here, so have fun back down in Florida.

[linnea]

I guess that if it works out for both of you and you're happier, then good for you. It wouldn't have worked for me, and it appears to me that she used your CDing as an excuse, but that's just me being cynical I think.
Good luck.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Linnea..I think your closer to the truth than you think...she got tired of meing with a man who couldn't be a man anymore and simply used the dressing as her "out card" to be able to getback into being with guys....I've told her for years she was able to pursue somethignshe could..didn't see why she had to do without because I couldn't do it with her anymore...

BTW I had CIDP...it's in the MS ALS Polio family....it's in remission for now knock on wood....

[Aubrey Green]

I don't wish divorce on anyone. I went down that road twice before age 34. Been unmarried ever since. You sound very strong, but it probably wouldn't hurt to have a chat with a professional. I find it odd that it has only been two months for her, to come to this decision. I wish you the best of luck and enjoy sunny Florida, when you finally get back there!!!

[Marissa]

[SIZE=4]Steph, I would hope you do know I was not making light of your situation.. sometimes humor eases the pain for me.. I feel for anyone going through a breakup.. did my two..and add a serious GF too.. none were easy.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Hugs,[/SIZE]

[Tracii G]

Well SS you have total freedom now so best of luck.
BTW you can email anytime and tell me all the juicy gossip like always.LOL
My last two dates have been out the door awesome just to let you know.
And yes I was a very bad girl.

[Marissa]

[SIZE=4]Sorry to hear that, but as you said its for the best.. I felt that way at first even though a part of me was let down since it looked like she stopped trying and starting looking out for her own needs vice fixing us..anyway.. its been for the best as you say.. but only gets better..if i can get her to stop on the railroad tracks with a train coming..oooppss! did i say that???? okay just kidding..honest [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I was a bit confused reading about your future plans but then the 'blonde' (no offense..lol) light went out .. you were talking about you and 'Stephanie' moving back to Florida.., right??? [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I was thinking you meant you and your soon to be 'ex'.. duhhh.. sorry.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]best of luck with this situation and hope it works out for all parties, especially you.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Hugs,[/SIZE]

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

So don't feel sorry....its for the best....I get to be free and unattached and Stephanie will be out free now as well...and we'll be moving back to Florida...yahoooo!!!!!!!!! can't wait....

It sounds like you and your future-ex are able to deal with the break up in a very adult and respectful way. I'm very happy for the both of you in that respect. You both know that it is time and rather than try and save a doomed relationship, you've chosen to pursue a more rewarding life apart. I think that's very admirable.

I don't feel sorry for you at all, but rather very hopeful about your future. I'm sure there are some difficulties in all of this, but you obviously know it is for the best and are looking forward toward the promise of better days ahead. Good for you!

Here's to BOTH of you finding a better life and the happiness that you each deserve in life.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Hey it's my third (and final) divorce so I'm us to all of this stuff....14 years and I've known her for 20 so it's been a while....so I'm use to all of this....

Now my second marriage...hah that's a whole total different beast.....


Deedee...I didn't really see it coming either...there were just little things that were going on these past few weeks that didn't add up...must be the cop in me....she's been very good helping with the dressing etc...even up to a few days ago...it's just been eating away at her that I'm not going femme. As she has said I'm not the man she married...she even said it wouldn't matter if I stopped dressing....but she's looking to find some bi girls to start dating as well as guys...so I think that she just decided she wanted ehr freedon...part of it also si she wants to go out and party as well...

MY wife got very heavy over the past few years due to health issues and she has always had this need to be able to "turn heads"...andshe hasn't...she needs this to valid her self through her looks...I ahve tried and tried to get her to work out to losoe weigh to do something so she doesn't have any more strokes....but nothing....now a few guys start telling her she looks good and she's all motivated..so this is more about her freedom I think than anything....If it works out where she now starts dropping the weight and reduces her health risk then that's great....see a great motto for jenny Craig..."Drop your sissy husband and loose 40lbs instantly"!!!!

I'll forever be thankful for her sticking with me during those extremely difficult times and 've been with her during her tough times....but now it times we move on in different directions....we always said that our relation would last for all times...we were each other soulmate our rock our best friend...I guess the fact that we couldn't be each other lover in the end is what took the ship down....and I told her the other day that I loved her unconditionally..after all how many husbands would be OK with their wife having a boyfriend so they could be able to enjoy their womanhood....I told her that I loved her unconditionally and always would....but I got back from her that she loved me unconditioanlly as well, BUT....and that but was the dressing and as I told her if there is a BUT there then it's not unconditionally...and if you can't love me for everything I am today then it's over....with this new freedom that I've told her to go after she's gone nuts ..l"ike a kid in a candy store"....I could handle that...it's when she told me that her love for me changed a couple of months ago that did it in....

But I can say one thing here....I will not under any circumstnace get involved with anyone else....this puppy is going to be the Lone Ranger from here on out....I've had three marriages that lasted a total of 30 years....so I'm not sure what that says...but I have no desire to be involved with anyone from this point forward and have felt this way for a long time...I've often told my wife that if we ever broke up...(and I neverreally thought we would...but hey what do I know...) that I'd never get involved with anyone else....

I haven't seen my two kids from my second marriage in over 11 years...I don't have any brothers and sisters and the relatives are all scattered..the only one I had was my wife....so I'll be alone...but that's OK because that allows to me "travel light"...the only thing I want is the ashes of my German Shepherd who was my best friend and passed this past fall. Other thna that she gets everything house car etc...I put everything in her name when we got married..I told her that way no messy divorce...she gets everyhting up front. MY last
divorce cost me over $500,000. We've had it hard the past few years financially being in bankruptcy...I told her that she needs to get ahold of the attorney to see about getitng this terminated...got 8 moths left....because I'll be leaving my job in about 3-4 months. So there will be no income coming in at that time...once that is done I'l be out of her and on the road....You all have no idea how happy I'll be to get back home in Florida...I have missed there so much for the time I've been here in TN. going through this is almost worth the chance of going back to Florida....So I hope to be able to get otu and meet some of you girls girl down there and be able to party...and shop...

So anyone can help this girl transistion I'd be open to hearing from you all,....

Stephanie

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am sorry for your loss. And I am happy for your gain. I really don't understand the reasoning for her "bi" is ok. Your "bi" is not okay. When I was running around (with wife #2) with a group of swingers the female "bi" was encouraged quite a bit. And of course it was a sin if they caught you in a "bi" position. This is still true of most swinger clubs. Those double standards got me kicked out of one group. Dylen

[Joanne f]

I am sorry for the fact that marriages and relationships seam to be so unimportant to some these days .

[Trycia]

I'm sorry to hear of the struggles you are having to deal with, but I do hope this is the right step for both of you.

[dawnmarrie1961]

I'm sorry to hear about the breakup of you marriage. It is always a sad thing when two people split up, no matter the reasons.

All I can say about this is I feel your pain because I have also been there.

The important thing to do is go on living. Sure you are going to have moments of depression, that's normal.

Best of luck on your future

[stephaniesacd]

Stephanie...I wish you all the best in whatever comes your way next.

[Angie G]

Good luck in geting what you want in life Stephanie.
Angie

[flatlander_48]

Sorry to hear about this development. There is a point where we have to realize that something (in this case a relationship) can't be fixed. We have 2 choices: be mournful and be totally suck OR make peace with it and move on. Intellectually we can do this, but it is often difficult in practice...

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Its all for the best I know and all...

The reality is I'm pretty much coming out of this by myself....which I'm not sure is good or bad thing...I have no other person really in my life...no bother sisters parents kids etc...but I'm free to do whatever it is I want....not beholding to anyone as well...

In time I'll be able to look back and have a better clarity on all of this...I know the relationship was going south for a few years anyway....no spark nothing to it....the wife would jsut sit around nite after nite on the couch with 4 or 5 dogs sitting on her lap and little conversation and just watch TV....so in reality maybe it's better to split than live like that....

I'll go wherever and at least get to do what I want to do....
I can't live like that I'll get up and get going and do things meet people etc....

So we'll see what the new chapter brings....


Steph

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

im divorced now for a year and a half,,never should have gotten married in the first place tho,,,all the wrong reasons,,,,

ALL of my family/relatives are in the eastern time zone,,,im in Phoenix,,,its very peacefull,,even the X is in MI...

i have a few friends out here and all my "gal pals" are lesbians,,,kinda sux if your looking for sex...

sometimes for your mental stability you NEED to split and go your seperate ways.....


only live once so why live it in misery

[Kate Simmons]

I wish you well Sherry. I am somewhat puzzled about your apparent calmness and acceptance of the whole situation though.