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Thread: Add another marriage down the tubes/update

  1. #26
    Junior Member stephaniesacd's Avatar
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    Stephanie...I wish you all the best in whatever comes your way next.

  2. #27
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    Good luck in geting what you want in life Stephanie.
    Angie

  3. #28
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    Sorry to hear about this development. There is a point where we have to realize that something (in this case a relationship) can't be fixed. We have 2 choices: be mournful and be totally suck OR make peace with it and move on. Intellectually we can do this, but it is often difficult in practice...

  4. #29
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Its all for the best I know and all...

    The reality is I'm pretty much coming out of this by myself....which I'm not sure is good or bad thing...I have no other person really in my life...no bother sisters parents kids etc...but I'm free to do whatever it is I want....not beholding to anyone as well...

    In time I'll be able to look back and have a better clarity on all of this...I know the relationship was going south for a few years anyway....no spark nothing to it....the wife would jsut sit around nite after nite on the couch with 4 or 5 dogs sitting on her lap and little conversation and just watch TV....so in reality maybe it's better to split than live like that....

    I'll go wherever and at least get to do what I want to do....
    I can't live like that I'll get up and get going and do things meet people etc....

    So we'll see what the new chapter brings....


    Steph
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  5. #30
    my nic says it all obsessedwithpantyhose's Avatar
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    im divorced now for a year and a half,,never should have gotten married in the first place tho,,,all the wrong reasons,,,,

    ALL of my family/relatives are in the eastern time zone,,,im in Phoenix,,,its very peacefull,,even the X is in MI...

    i have a few friends out here and all my "gal pals" are lesbians,,,kinda sux if your looking for sex...

    sometimes for your mental stability you NEED to split and go your seperate ways.....


    only live once so why live it in misery

  6. #31
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I wish you well Sherry. I am somewhat puzzled about your apparent calmness and acceptance of the whole situation though.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  7. #32
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Arrianna...why get my panties all twisted over this....

    This si what she wants and she'll be happier and I want what's best for her....so be it.

    I'm coming out of this a loser anyway....

    A) I get to move back to Florida where I have wanted to be for the past 10 years since I did move from there... we moved up here because she wanted to be back with her family....

    B) I get to live my wife free and uninhibited as who I want to be and who I am....and that's not bad...

    C) There have been some rough spots in the relationship finances for one...and now I'll be able to control my money and won't have a wife that spends like a drunken sailor and constantly puts me in a bind to try and catch up and make ends meet....

    D) she'll be happier and I'm glad for her... She'll never be able to say that I didn't give her everything I could...I only want those in my life who want to be there...

    So it's not all bad....so what's to fret....
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  8. #33
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    One thing I'll never understand though is why was the fact that I'm bi and she arranged my first bi experience for me and she's bi a bad thing to her but she being bi was OK....as she said I enjoyed it to much...I've never understood that concept. Me bi bad... her bi OK???? Can someone exlain that to me please???? Other thna she was jealous and felt threatned and if that was the case since this happened right after we started dating and moved in together so why did she marry me????
    Sorry to arrive late to the party. Women think different than we do. You're never going to win. They never admit to anything. Look at it this way. You got your life back.

  9. #34
    Always be happy Mistybtm's Avatar
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    Smile

    I have been divorced for almost 10 years now and I could not be more happy the freedom to do what I want when I wanted to go where I want it is awsome. Good luck in Florida just watch out for those nasty Hurricanes
    Mistybtm

  10. #35
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Update:

    "Ah, The truth has come out"....

    This whole thing has had mmore twists and turns than a bad soap oprera....and then some additonal drama....

    We had a problem this evening....

    I had gotten dressed to go ot one of the clubs. Left the house and hadn't even gone a mile out of the road where we live and the wife clls in a toal panic. Seems one of the dogs, her favorite started yelping in a major way and loss the use of her hind legs....she tells me to turn around and come home...

    I come back to the hosue check the dog and call the Vet....take the dog in adn it's not looking real good...short of a miracle the dog will probably need to be put down Monday....

    Anyway, we're both very upset and with everything else going on we start talking...and it wasn't the "oh sorry" stuff....and it worked back on the marriage relationship issue...Bottom lien is the wife said that she probably fell out of love with me 10 years ago...it was about the time she had a hysterectomy and subsequentally was going through a period of depression/panic attacks related to the hystrectomy. I had said that i thought it wasn't the dressing because I felt that things went south about 5 years ago...so thats when she went on tell me whn she felt this way...She did admit that thedressing was an issue but not the deciding factor because she had already settled in to "not loving me the way she did" before the hystrectomy...

    So we talked some more and have decided that we'll stay married in name only...share the house that way we both have a place and don't need to move...but she and I can come and go as we please....so basically we'll be "roommates"...we can have whomever we want over, but she doesn't think she'll have any guys over...

    I can dress around the house however I want...come and go w/o any questions etc and she as well...

    Bottom line is I think htis is the best resolution and a workable concept for us both...it will allow us the ability to have the best of our worlds and the comfort that goes along with it....

    Like she said she doesn't want to lose me as a friend because over the past 20 years I have made her what she is today...but she still needs me in her life...jsut in a different way than in the past...
    Bottom line...I can live with that....

    Now lets see wha the next freakin twist is here...
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  11. #36
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    Hi Steph, Been following both threads and it's just amazing..... couldn't write a story like this. You said it...what's next. Well, now you have an open relationship and I hope it works out. Very nice to hear about your meeting up wth a new friend, especially after the aborted trip last week. Take care. dd

  12. #37
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    Wow Days of our lives huh?
    Sounds like a reasonable deal to me I can uderstand the need for each other.
    Best of luck Steph.Sorry to hear about your dog thats really sad.
    I had to put mine down a while back and I really miss her.

  13. #38
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Tracii can you spell "road trip"????

    I think this will be a workable situation....at least I won't have to pack up a bunch of stuff....
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  14. #39
    my nic says it all obsessedwithpantyhose's Avatar
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    yeh, thats how my x and i started out after the divorce,,then she started hangin around with the wrong crowd and changed,,,,im GLAD she moved back to mich to her moms.....maybe she will get her head out of her ass while shes there,,,,but i wont let her back under my roof if she moves back to Phx...

  15. #40
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Well I feel very good this morning....have had some time to think about how this has evloved to this point point and there isn't any regret...I am going to be able to keep my lifestyle intack...be able to stay housed and in time hopefully in a better financial situation...and keep my best friend...and be there for her and she'll be there for me...will things maybe turn around again at some point..well the way this has progressed over the eyars with us you never know but it's not something that we will need ..it will just happen...but for now we'll both be able to go and "do our own things"... and I think we both need to do that at this point and time....I hated the thoguht of having to find someone to cut my hair, paint my toenails and shave my back....she'll have someone who she can confide in and trust to give her straight advice....and cover her back...

    So we move forward and see what tomorrow will bring...so it's not all bad....plus I get a bed all to myself....and no snoring anymore....LOL and that ain't a bad thing.....
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  16. #41
    Crossdressing Curmudgeon TommiTN's Avatar
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    Excellent, Steph! I was hoping you two could come to a compromise!
    Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

  17. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicki B View Post
    Didn't she swear (as you did) - 'for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health'???
    Oh yeah, that old cliché

    NOW Sherry - she is probably playing some kind of game... "Maybe my spouse will quit CD'ing if I act like..."
    if you want out of this marriage, make sure it happens, and don't fall for her crap. If she gets pregnant by one of her flings and tries to come after you, get paternity tests.

    Once you get out from under this marriage, let freedom ring
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  18. #43
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    LOL Getting pregant isn't anything I'm concerned about...total hysterectomy 10 years ago...

    NO I don't think the dressing is the issue here...there's more details here that play into this but then that would make it even a longer story....plus she and I haven't had any sexual encounters in 11 years since I got sick....and lost my manhood...
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  19. #44
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    hi steff, I winter in the ft meyers area so I will be down there in nov. There are a lot of us girls down there. We meet at TBLs club on Fridays and Sats. If you get down there before me you will meet a lot of great girls. Have fun Laura

  20. #45
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    well you said dont feel sorry for you, non the less, it would be a cold day in hell when i celebrate the end of a marriage. I am so sorry that it has come to that for you, and hope that you both see your way to happiness. :-)

  21. #46
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Well BIL is now having a major fit over my wife an I split...

    MY brother in law (wife's brother) is having a major fit over us splitting....both at the wife already screwing around and with bikers no less and me for dressing....

    He's a devout christian and basically have us both buring in hell from here on out....

    My wife's attitude is he's my brother and all and I love him, but he doesn't pay my bills and he's not going to tell me what I can and can not do..screw him!!!!!....(if only she could come out of her shell and express herself better....)

    Needless to say I guess we won't be invited over to Thanksgiving....
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  22. #47
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    Families seem to have a fit about a lot of things. Take your pick. You work too many hours. You don't spend enough time with your wife and kids. You need to go back to school to get a better paying job. The famous - When are you going to have kids? It seems that family never 100% accepts us. There is always something for them to fuss about. You just got lucky to find something unusual (Crossdressing).

    In the end they are the ones to complain the most about our decisions. They give us a pat on the back sometimes. You just can't please all of them. So stick to yourself. It's easier.
    Michelle

  23. #48
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Amen Michelle....
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  24. #49
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Since I'm starting all over again....

    I've decided that I am going to start a new circle of friends....and guess what???? they are going to have similar interests as I have....might be a tad bit smaller but it's going to be a whole lot more interesting....

    I've decided that I'm going to more or less go into the gay community...I think thye'll be much more suited to my lifestyle....hey it's not like I've got a lifetime left...more like a few years and I might as well make the most of it....

    So I might at well have a blast before I call it a life....
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  25. #50
    Female Spirit Bernadina's Avatar
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    I keep thinking that burning in Hell has to be more exciting than sitting around on clouds playing harps for eternity. Neither of which is likely to be true anyway.

    If the worst he lays on you is dressing, than I don't think you'll end up anywhere nasty at all. After all he has no control over your life or your death either.

    Sorry about Thanksgiving though. I guess you'll just have get dressed as a maid and cook you own bird.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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