This is a progression of understanding myself better, as I am very new to this.

So...

Suppose I ought to tell my story somewhere and here is as good a place as any...

I was on a 'social networking' site (not FB or MyS) along with a good friend (GG) and found out she was getting lots of mail from men that was upsetting her. Very sexual and lurid. So for a bit of a laugh I created an account as a female to get back at them, put them down, criticize them, you get the picture. All going well...

Problem was I found alot of women were contacting me, wanting to be friends and chat, so I thought 'What the hell, it's all fun...'. I found I could chat with these women far easier than if I was in male mode. It was great, I was making more friends than ever, chatting alot on the onsite IM. Getting good...

Then it happened, it had to at some point I suppose, and am suprised it didn't happen sooner... I got sussed, trying to be something I'm not(biologically anyway). The young lady was very kind about it all. Told me she worked at a club for crossdressers and recognised something in the way I talked. Anyway, she advised me to buy some hold ups and panties, saying I might like it, practically guaranteed it. I dont know why, maybe it was fear of exposure from her if I didn't that led me to my Tesco 24hr that night...

Anyway I bought some stockings and panties that night, and when I got home put them on. It felt nice, it felt right, I immediately took some pics for her and messaged her, and that felt good too. Next day I went to work wearing them.

I was away for a few days in a different town, with a friend I felt like I couldn't share this with, but still was missing the feeling. When I left to come home I felt inspired. Boy was this feeling strange... I went into the pound shop and bought a tape measure then went to toilets and measured my chest and then went and bought a bra and some cute ankle boots.

Still I was missing something so when I got home I went and bought a LBD, surely the first thing so many newbies have bought. In this time my online friend left the site I was on, without leaving a forwarding address as it were.

I was devastated, here she was, giving me advice and encouragement, and then she left me. I was crushed. 'What to do now' I asked myself, there's this whole new side to me and my mentor has gone...

So that leaves me where I am now... I underdress all the time, love to put on my frock, but only in my room and wondering why. I feel right in the clothes, but have no-one to talk to about it. I feel so alone. I know I'm not mentally, but actually, there's no-one I can talk to. So I joined Facebook under my girls name and joined a couple of forums, this site being one of them.

Now I have new friends and mentors, I look forward to hearing from you all.

I may not have done the nicest of things in this story, but have to put it in, warts an' all as it were.

I'm here to understand myself better in all contexts

Love Kaylee xxxxx