When crossdressing-or transvestism as I still view the condition-is so entrenched, an alter ego develops. We become the object of our own narcissistic love. I think this is inevitable as everyone needs someone to love and to be loved . Realistically we know that it is not likely most GGs will welcome another squaw in the wigwam and that is a bit what a crossdresser resembles. We try so hard to keep under the radar, but that desire and drive never cease. That alter ego is who loves us dressed pretty, who massages our hose encased legs,etc. For those of us in a committed relationship, there is no interest in meeting 'friends' through ALT or similar social networks.So what is left for us to cultivate but this safe friendship/amorous partner.
When calmness returns, it does create a real sense of guilt-that since this persona needs to be accepted and gratified, what does that leave for the tolerant spouse? If you can't perform as a normal husband, it is very sad for all. Yet as that alter ego gets stronger over the decades-and at 62 this means 55 years-who is left to be the 'normal' husband and what about the accepting wife's physical needs? a very sad dilemma.