Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: On Violence

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    South east MA
    Posts
    1,170

    On Violence

    I am posting this here, but anyone is free to answer. Have any transmen here been in fistfights, or violent encounters? Do any of you have thoughts of violence? I have had only one real fight, way back in high school, [I won!]. As a rule, I am not a violent, or agressive person but I do have thoughts of violence once in a while. I think its true of most men. I was just wondering how transmen feel about it.

  2. #2
    Whiny li'l runt Ze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    4,199
    I stay away from physical confrontation altogether. I'm more the type of scrawny guy who shoots off his mouth, only to take off in the opposite direction or hide behind somebody bigger.

    And if I really think it's a good idea, I'll even keep my mouth shut.

    I hate violence, basically. Nothing of true importance or real necessity gets solved that way. I might enjoy a clever fistfight in an action movie or something*, but that's about it.

    *And just so you know what I'm talking about: The best fight scene ever.
    Last edited by Ze; 06-28-2009 at 03:23 PM.

  3. #3
    Male ZenFrost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    4,225
    I'm not a violent person by nature, I don't start fights, I don't participate in fights, I don't ever get any hint of road rage. I'm hard to anger and quick to cool down, and I feel violence gets nowhere. I also don't really get violent thoughts or an urge to hit something/someone, pretty much ever.

    I do like artificial violence. I like action movies, and violent video games don't bother me. The only reason I like that though is because it's not real at all, I think it's healthier to put violence in fiction then let it out in real life.


    Oh, and Ze, I'm afraid I'm of the opposite opinion of you: that scene is why that movie is one of my least favorites of all time. I liked the bubblegum line, but the rest of that movie was awful and that fight scene was the worst.
    Story of my life –>

  4. #4
    Whiny li'l runt Ze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    4,199
    Quote Originally Posted by ZenFrost View Post
    Oh, and Ze, I'm afraid I'm of the opposite opinion of you: that scene is why that movie is one of my least favorites of all time. I liked the bubblegum line, but the rest of that movie was awful and that fight scene was the worst.
    Ah, yes, the bubblegum line.

    I understand why people wouldn't like that fight scene (or the movie), but it's so terrible to me that I can't help but love it. I just laugh every time!

  5. #5
    Troublemaker 4serrus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    436
    I'm an angry person. I've never been in a fight though, as I'm more likely to just avoid confrontation. I've broken STUFF though. It's possible to be a 'violent' person and have self-control.
    Derek

    Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man? Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi?

  6. #6
    Bruce onerous's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    In front of my laptop.
    Posts
    75
    I have not been involved in any fistfights or violent encounters (neither have maybe 80-90% of the GMs I know), although I would do so if I felt the situation called for it.

    Yes I do have violent thoughts, a fair amount of them, but not exactly excessive. Would I act on them? I'm a fairly reserved person so usually I just bottle up everything and give the people in question my death stare (works very well btw). But yes there is that possibility I will lash out when provoked excessively and when social repercussions are minimal. Usually I vent online instead. I regret to say that I have indeed lashed out and hit my younger brother badly, a couple times, when both he and I were fairly young. A combination of a nasty mood, an unfortunate situation, some bad judgement.. etc

    I will add that while being capable of physical aggression, or at least capable of thinking a lot about it, I cannot comprehend social aggression at all.. the hidden, manipulative kind. Being on the receiving end of it a couple times, usually I don't even realise it until its way too obvious. Often makes me bewildered and confused not knowing what to do next and thus "losing".


    About that fight scene..
    I'm really not a movie person, the last movie I watched was when Wall-E came out. Yes that was something like a year ago heh.
    Anyway watched that snippet from the youtube link. Thought it was a bit too fake for my tastes... way too many sound effects coming from the guys' mouths "uh" "ah" etc at every shot.. from the beginning to the end.. expected more of a silent exchanging of blows, maybe with a ton of swear words thrown in. And a bit too much ground wrestling and throws around here and there, kind of detracted from the fighting itself imo.. I don't think people have fights like that in RL, but hey I've never actually witnessed one in RL (or even in movies, actually) so what do I know lol.

    I do wonder how they filmed that though, looks painful, doesn't seem to be ethical to injure actors while filming and some of those blows looked pretty harsh, especially the backwards-falling-on-tarred-road part.
    FTM TG, can be a bit blunt at times.


    "The thing that upsets people is not what happens but what they think it means."

    "It's sort of like crossing enemy lines, hoping not to get caught, and realizing that you are being looked at as one of their own... because you are."

  7. #7
    Member Seamus_Jameson's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    122
    Sorry, Ze. . . looked boring and very unrealistic. . . though I'm sure it made more sense in the context of the movie.

    As for violence. . . I'm an extremely violent person. I got into one fight with another guy in middle school and very nearly a couple more in high school. I've gotten into numerous physical arguments with my husband. . . knocked him out at least thrice. (I am glad that he's a fairly patient man.) As he is fond of telling me, being female-bodied is the only thing that has kept me from winding up in fisticuffs someone about once a week.

    I think some of that anger stems from frustration at not being able to get into fights. A guy gets mad at me and thinks, "Oh, I'm pissed, but I can't hit her: she's a girl." I wish I could be taken seriously as a man, i.e., a guy would be willing to hit me if I provoked him to it, and given that kind of respect. And I feel time is slipping away on me, because I am fast reaching the age where only brawlers and unsavory characters express their aggression physically.
    Quote Originally Posted by 4serrus
    If you look like the laundry basket threw up on you you're doing it wrong.
    Do you know every thought that crosses your mind? To know the mind of many is to know the depth of the ocean. Where at? What era? Why? It is to ask of heaven, how many stars? Those near, those far, those seen, unseen, heard by whom, in darkness, alone, or in sunlight, beyond? How far? Who cares? Our creator, over all seasons presiding, knows each mind by name.

  8. #8
    Whiny li'l runt Ze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    4,199
    Quote Originally Posted by Seamus_Jameson View Post
    Sorry, Ze. . . looked boring and very unrealistic. . . though I'm sure it made more sense in the context of the movie.
    That was the whole point of it being funny.

  9. #9
    Quartermaster DanielMacBride's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Left of centre, off of the strip
    Posts
    1,558
    Not a violent person here either - I did get in a few fist fights way back when I was a teenager, but not since I was about 19 and grew some brains I tend to either walk away from a potential fight situation, or use words rather than my fists to solve things. I very rarely have any thoughts of violence - and even then they are only directed at people who have done something that is really wrong and badly hurt another person, and they are just that - thoughts, I never act on them. Usually I will go for a walk, calm down and then it's all good, I lose the violent/angry thoughts and can process things calmly and quickly.

    Interesting comment, Seamus, about not being able to get in a fight because you are seen as a girl - I don't know whether it's a universal thing or a cultural thing or what, but here, I have had opportunity to get into several fistfights (usually over transgirl friends who are being harassed by drunk and stupid GMs) and every time I have squared up, the GM will back down because here, they know if you're a transman, it's like DUDE, do NOT pick a fight with this one, because they will fight twice as hard to prove they are a man

    In two notable cases I was at the same bar both times with my transgirl friends, and basically same scenario both times - drunk guy walks up and starts paying out on the girls along the lines of "OMG, can you imagine waking up next to THAT in the morning?" (my response since the girl in question was my gf at the time LOL was "actually mate, yes I can, that's my girlfriend you're talking about") and then continuing the abuse until I basically get right in their face and quite casually and matter-of-factly say "mate, that's my friend you are dissing, and if you don't STFU, I'm going to put you on your ass before you know wtf hit you". Usually they look me in the eye, realise "oh crap, he's not kidding" and back off

    On one of those occasions it happened with two different guys in the same night, the first one basically was groping the butt of a t-girl friend of mine on her first night out as herself (she was very shy and nervous and this really upset her), so I asked her if she'd like me to have a word and when she said yes, I said the above and the guy looked at me and I think he saw how angry I was because he looked pretty scared (abuse of any transperson is something I WILL NOT tolerate, and particularly the girls); about an hour later, I was coming back from the bar and ANOTHER guy was harassing my gf and her friends (all trans) and I just sauntered up and tapped him on the shoulder (helped that he was shorter than me LOL) and said "mate, I have already threatened to put one guy on his ass tonight, don't make me do it again" I find that's usually enough to make them stop and realise that their behaviour is unacceptable, but if not, I have more than enough muscle to back the mouth and am quite capable of giving a damn good account of myself in a fight if need be, but thankfully the need has never arisen

    ETA: I don't particularly like violence in movies either, anything that paints gratuitous violence as acceptable or glorifies it really makes my skin crawl.
    [SIZE="3"]Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are. ~ Unknown[/SIZE]

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,757
    very passive boy here, lover not a fighter, totally abhor violence being that i have been subjected to it in relationships

  11. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    South east MA
    Posts
    1,170
    Thanks for all your comments. I do belive that there is a big difference in having thoughts, and acting on them.

  12. #12
    Mr. Impossible SirTrey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    NE Ohio
    Posts
    2,633
    I try to avoid physical confrontations by using logic and words...If that doesn't work, I will do what I have to do....I will not swing first, ever....but, if someone took a swing at ME, I would do My level best to swing LAST. I am very even tempered until someone pushes Me too far....fortunately, that doesn't happen often...I stay out of peoples' business and expect them to do the same. I don't put Myself in situations where fights are likely....and I will walk away whenever possible because that is ALWAYS best....the last time someone made Me REALLY mad, I hit a windshield with My fist (and cracked it), but not THEM....($200.00 later, I felt like an idiot because it was the windshield of MY Jeep)....LOL
    Ever The Opportunist
    __________________________________________
    Life Is My Biatch
    "Guns don't kill people, people kill people...and that's why I don't keep PEOPLE in My house." :SirTrey:

  13. #13
    Member Poltergeist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Denmark
    Posts
    116
    I'm not violent at all... I don't believe in violence.

  14. #14
    Gentleman Thornton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    SE New England
    Posts
    309
    I've never been in an actual fight where i offended/was offended by another guy and we wanted to kill each other. But stuff like punching my male friends, just messing around with them, yeah, that's fun. And mosh pits, those are great.

    Yeah, I have thought's of violence. A lot actually. But hardly ever towards other people because I know I'd lose...No, really because people who are annoying enough to want to hurt are not worth the legal suits that come from attacking them.

  15. #15
    Quartermaster DanielMacBride's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Left of centre, off of the strip
    Posts
    1,558
    Quote Originally Posted by SirTrey View Post
    I try to avoid physical confrontations by using logic and words...If that doesn't work, I will do what I have to do....I will not swing first, ever....but, if someone took a swing at ME, I would do My level best to swing LAST.
    Sounds a lot like my "three hit" policy Trey - I never hit first, but if someone hits me, my view is "three hits - I hit you, you hit the floor, the ambulance hits 90" I won't start it, but by the Gods, if someone else does, I will damn well finish it
    [SIZE="3"]Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are. ~ Unknown[/SIZE]

  16. #16
    Member Seamus_Jameson's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    122
    Quote Originally Posted by DanielMacBride View Post
    Interesting comment, Seamus, about not being able to get in a fight because you are seen as a girl - I don't know whether it's a universal thing or a cultural thing or what, but here, I have had opportunity to get into several fistfights (usually over transgirl friends who are being harassed by drunk and stupid GMs) and every time I have squared up, the GM will back down because here, they know if you're a transman, it's like DUDE, do NOT pick a fight with this one, because they will fight twice as hard to prove they are a man
    Thanks, I'll have to keep that in mind. Also, as you pointed out, posturing only works if you actually have the intent of violence. I assume that the minute physical contact is made, you are trying to kill me. I will render you unable to do so, no matter what force it takes. Because I don't want to seriously kill anyone, I try to keep my violent thoughts to myself.

    See. . . that's me thinking like a guy. The other guy is thinking, "Boy, I can't hit her. She's a girl."

    Complete difference.
    Quote Originally Posted by 4serrus
    If you look like the laundry basket threw up on you you're doing it wrong.
    Do you know every thought that crosses your mind? To know the mind of many is to know the depth of the ocean. Where at? What era? Why? It is to ask of heaven, how many stars? Those near, those far, those seen, unseen, heard by whom, in darkness, alone, or in sunlight, beyond? How far? Who cares? Our creator, over all seasons presiding, knows each mind by name.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member NiCo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    605
    I was constantly fighting when I was at school, but as I got older I tended to avoid it as much as possible until at one point I hadn’t been in a fight for like two years. Growing up in a really rough part of Scotland, it was not avoidable and when I moved to England I thought things would change but had to fight people who bullied me for being Scottish until they finally got the hint that I wasn’t going to back down and let them walk over the top of me and then they finally left me alone.

    Lately I’ve been chilled out but there is still a little burning feeling deep inside me where I could KO any guy who pissed me off, but I put that down to raging hormones. Don’t know if I would actually do it like, but would avoid it. (I guess I’m turning into something very similar to my big brother and dad, who are chilled until provoked, but needs good reason to end up in a fist fight).

    Not a big fan of violence unless it’s supervised, I.e. Boxing.
    [SIZE="3"]-Broken out of a window in hell-[/SIZE]

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State