I failed at quitting crossdressing...

[KateSpade83]

OK, I admit defeat... I FAILED at quitting crossdressing! What keeps me addicted now? I love admiring my crossdressed dolled up beauty in front of a full length mirror! I love wearing a skirt suit and feeling like a chic professional woman... I love wearing my cheerleader outfits and feeling like an Alpha Chick! I love my schoolgirl outfits and feeling like a naughty little cute schoolgirl! I love wearing a 1 pc swimsuit and wishing I had a beautiful hourgalss figure + boobs to stare at! And then my sexuality only often works crossdressed when I go solo...

But I'm a straight guy into women!

So why do you fail at quitting crossdressing when you quit and came back?

Luckily, at my latest Feb 09 purge, - I think I recovered everything!

And my clothes collection is ULTRABAD and it keeps me addicted! I think I have over $20,000 of womens clothes! TOO PAINFUL TO PURGE!

I tell God if he wants me to quit [or try my best to quit] bless me with a beautiful woman that "lights up my heart" and that fits my size 4 to 6 clothes and bless me with a good income to keep her! So... there's no need for me to purge!

I'm so lucky I'm a size 4 to 6!

[Kathi Lake]

No one likes a quitter or a failure, so keep on keeping on!



Kathi

[Pauline Lauren]

Kate....
As one who has tried to purge a number of times and being unable to maintain it a number of times, I finally made a realization that helped me to stop doing that to myself. It isn't a matter of "failing to quit" or "failing to overcome" something unless it is being unable to overcome what is an integral part of yourself. It is not a failure to feel the need to be true to onesself, particularly if it is in a way that doesn't hurt anyone. So I would suggest, enjoy it to the extent that you can within the limitations of your situation, and never think of it as "failing" anything.

Oh and your clothes collection must be to die for!

>>>huggs<<<
Pauline

[Mirani]

Kate, its NOT an addiction. It is who you are.

Enjoy being you

[CD Susan]

Kate, I don't think you "failed" at anything other than understanding that it is virtually impossible to quit crossdressing. Being a crossdresser is something that we are born with and it is hard wired into our brain even before birth. The urge to start cd'ing manifests itself at different times for each individual. Speaking from my own experience I knew at age 5 that I was a crossdresser even though I did not know what the term was to define how I felt at the time. This feeling has never left me some 56 years later. Sure I tried to quit several times just as you recently tried. I went through the purges like you did but I was not so fortunate to recover my cd items as you were so I had to start all over again. I have come to the realization, and I hope you have too, that this is a part of us that will never go away. There is no point in fighting it and thinking that we can quit like giving up a bad habit such as smoking or over eating. What we are blessed/inflicted with is much more complex than that so there is no point in trying to overcome it. I hope you have come to this same realization as I have and will accept it as being part of who you are and that it is not a bad thing. I feel fortunate to be blessed with this and would not want to be any other way. I hope that you also will come to feel this way and lead a happy and fulfilling life. Good luck to you.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

Throwing away clothes isn't going to change your gender identity. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender identity.

[Alexandria9919]

I can't count the number of times I tried to quit cding. I threw away so many pretty things over the years. I have come to the realization that this is who I am. My wife accepts it so I have support now. Still havent come out to my own family and kind of doubt I actually ever will. But what the wife and I have is really great. I am blessed to have a wife who accepts me for who I am

[Joanne f]

It is not failure, it is gaining the recognition of what you are , that is a positive not a negative, be happy

[Deborah Jane]

I tell God if he wants me to quit [or try my best to quit] bless me with a beautiful woman that "lights up my heart" and that fits my size 4 to 6 clothes and bless me with a good income to keep her! So... there's no need for me to purge!

Maybe God don't want you to quit, maybe you are who you are for a reason and you have to find your own woman, who knows??

You can't keep blaming God for your situation Kate

Your crossdressing is part of who you are whether you like it or not!!

I doubt whether God gives a what you wear!!

[Violetgray]

OK, I admit defeat... I FAILED at quitting crossdressing!

Well I could've told you that!

That wagon ride was too bumpy anyway...

[LilSissyStevie]

Kate, God answers every prayer. Sometimes the answer is NO!

[carhill2mn]

You have just learned a hard lesson that nearly all of us CDs have also learned. I heard a GW who was very supportive of CD's once give advice to a CD that said she was going to quit: leave your things with me and then you can have them back when you realize that you need them again!

[TxKimberly]

Kate, its NOT an addiction. It is who you are.

Enjoy being you

Yeah, and for God's sake, go eat something!
(Size 6!!)

[Miss Rachel]

To deny yourself a part of what makes you who you are is in essence stripping away part of the beauty that defines you. Regardless of what anyone else in the world thinks... when you look into the mirror what you are wearing is as irrelevant as what your neighbor had for breakfast. The only thing that truly matters is that you like what you see looking back at you.
Happiness is one of the few things in this world that money cannot buy (It can only buy the illusion of it), so if CDing makes you happy then keep on keepin on and let the world love you as you are and for who you are not as they would make you.

Live on your feet making yourself as happy as life will allow
or
Die on your knees in servitude to a world that ridicules anything they are too ignorant to understand.

P.S. I also wear a 6 so next time your..... hehehe just kidding.

xoxoxo
Miss Rachel

[Niya W]

Kate, God answers every prayer. Sometimes the answer is NO!

God gives you what you need not what you want. Like LilSissyStevie God answers every prayer;just some times it's not the answer you were looking for or wanted .

[cdbethany]

just wondering kate,why are you trying to quit?
ive tried 3 times and have never lasted more than 4 days.i tried to quit once cause of a very bad experience,again because i almost got caught and the final time out of anger when i recieved over 30 negative moments on my youtube accounts.
each time bethany was soon coming out to play and now im happy being dressed and unless something drastic changes i dont intend to quit.
dont just quit cold turkey and purge your clothes,next time if you do feel like giving it up box up your clothes and move them where there out of sight but where you can still get to them.how many days do you usually go without dressing,mine is 4.if i was to quit again id try to do without for 4 days then if i make it to 4 let bethany out to play(i do realise i make my fem alter ego sound like a slasher movie killer)then try for 5 days and keep increasing the number of days.thats just me but im happy and if there is no real reason for quitting, why do it.
hope this is helpful

love and kisses
bethany xxxxx

[joandher]

Hi Kate Why stop what you enjoy doing as long as it doesnt hurt anybody else
you will find later on in life that, its too short to worry about ,enjoy every minute girl,remeber God made you in his image
J-JAY

[fratv]

I stopped for some years but then restarted. I felt guilty somehow, but finally realized there was nothing wrong with it.

[sissystephanie]

Kate, don't blame God, thank Him for giving you that divine body!

[Amy07]

Hello Kate!
I am going through what you are doing right now. A great thing becomes something you don't really want to do. Do not purge. I didn't yet, and have no intention to do so. I have in the past and regretted it terribly.
What do you do next? Amy is still trying to figure that one out.

[Angelofsomekind]

I tried to stop many times when I was younger. I never purged though. I always figured if I was really going to stop I should have the clothes there so they are available, and If I don't wear them when I have access to them, then I really have stopped. Of course it never worked, and I'm glad it didn't. I don't think I would be happy with myself if I did stop. It is a part of who we are.

[cd_jamie]

I sent about $10,000 worth of stuff to good will on my last purge it hurt but I did it..... now I wish I had it all back. I had really had the urge to dress lately.. I always found it to be relaxing to not be in guy mode

[MsSamanthaErica]

You did not FAIL... the urge just didn't leave you. It's like saying you can't care or love because you had a bad experience, etc.

We don't want you to leave our comfortable realm. I have tried to move away as well, I am here now and there's no going back. Just let yourself realize that before you think you failed, you succeeded... in keeping us happy you're here!

[KateSpade83]

cdbethany - I quit because I had a mental episode or maybe it really was reality that crossdressing is cursed by demons. So I almost regretfully purged my Houston clothes... was on the verge but I begged God - I don't have to purge because my GIGANTIC collection of size 4 to 6 clothes can fit a pretty woman my size! So no need to purge when I quit but how do I quit when the clothes are always around? - Just gotta have a good woman!

Unemployed now... I dress as often as I want!

Mom my donated my Chicago clothes to an ultra cheap $5 church thrift store that didn't have much business so I recovered my clothes 10 days later!

I can't afford to purge my ULTRA BIG & Beautiful collection of clothes! 120+ skirt suits, 60+ swim suits... lotsa dresses, blouses, skirts, 6 cheerleader outfits, schoolgirl uniforms, + awesome lingerie!

[dawnmarrie1961]

The only one who has failed is those who have never tired. Winners never quit and quitters never lose! Don't feel so bad about having spent so much money I clothes. I'm certain you would have felt far worse using that money on the surgery only to change you mind later. "Oh my gosh what have I done!" Everything happens for a reason. Every type of behavior has an underlying reason for existing. In order to truly purge yourself you first need to find out what the reason is for your cross dressing. What fundamental need does it serve. That requires a type of research that only you can perform. Because only you "know"you. You have to find the answer out for yourself. Just as we all do. Then once you have the answer. Then you can make an informed choice as to what the next step needs to be. Do you do forward? Or do you step back?

Be safe. Be smart.