Does CDing make U feel guilty?

[Fondew2004]

I realized from my "fetish" thread, that IT DOES with me!
And I THOT I was beyond those feelings!

I'm PRETTY SURE it's NOT the acts of putting on and wearing ladies clothes. Or, all the extra gear I use to create a more fem illusion, tho! I think of THAT as sort of a fun, exciting hobby!
Even if I may be a bit obsessed with it!

My guilt seems to come from the fact that I get SEXUAL PLEASURE as a result of my dressing!

THAT makes me ANGRY at myself! That after 11 years of CDing, and nearly 2 years of sharing CDing on line, I should STILL feel guilty!? Why?
When my morning quickies in the shower don't seem to bother me at all?

And I'm frustrated! That I CAN'T seem to move past this sexual stage of dressing, on to just enjoying the dressing up and feeling fem, as SO MANY OTHERS HERE DO!

I can't help feeling there's something wrong with me! Why do I STILL feel guilty? Why can't I just enjoy my CDing for what it is?

Any help/advice/experiences would be MUCH appreciated!

(Sorry! This thread may be MORE confounding than my "fetish" rant!)

When I am alone....no.

And I think I may have found a female who is actually encouraging me to dress. This is heterosexual to be sure (she is actually bi), but she's asking me if I would dress for her.

Is she kidding!!!!!!!!!

[Marisa_M]

I used to feel guilty in my very early days until I realized two key issues:

1) I was not the only guy in the world who loved to dress as a woman, and

2) I do no harm to others doing what I do.

[cd_jamie]

I never felt guilty. I always felt relaxed

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u all, for taking the time to write so many useful annecdotes!

Partly it's a turn-on, partly it's just satisfaction with the role-playing game. The worst guilt comes from not having fun, not getting a buzz, just falling into the habit as an addiction.
But my goal now is to integrate dressing with being in public, maybe even being out to friends. How can I reconcile that with a sexual fetish? It makes me feel like flasher.
So I definitely suffer from gender confusion--not which genders I am, but what do I want to do, & why?

Thanks, Lainie! After reading your post, I realize CDing may be more of a BLESSING than a CURSE! Because IT IS such an enormous thrill for me!
Like u, I'm quite confused on where to go next with it!
Maybe the SCC conference will shed some lite on it for me!?

Suppose a guilty conscience is the sign of a good time lol

That may be the crux of my problem! I sometimes have these incredible "knee weakening" orgasms, and then the guilt starts!

One thing i don't like is also the sexual pleasure side of it. I'd much rather just be able to dress and enjoy being dressed rather than having to relieve the pressure so to speak and then getting undressed because the good feelings passed along with the want to remain dressed. I feel guilty about giving in to that side of me, it just makes me feel perverted.

I could have written your post, Kokoro! Because that's EXACTLY what I do, and how I FEEL! Only, U said it better than I could!

What?

So you get a sexual charge out of it - is that a bad thing? I think we all go through a masturbation phase. You either started dressing late in life and that phase is not yet over, OR perhaps you're a fetish crossdresser, period. If you are, does that bother you?

Do not confuse fetish crossdresser with "pervert" - the two are not interconnected. A pervert might also be a fetish crossdresser, but just because someone is a fetish crossdresser does not mean they are also a pervert - not even close.

There are a zillion fetishes out there. I think most people have a fetish of some kind. They may or may not share that outside of their sexual partner, but there's nothing wrong being turned on by [whatever] so long as no one is caused harm by it.

Don't give yourself a difficult time about it, Doc. There's no need. You'll either grow out of your sexual arousal when dressed phase, or not. If you do not - why be ashamed? If you go posting sex or genitalia photos publicly online, then maybe you should be ashamed, but I've never seen you do anything of the sort. You seem respectable enough to me.

Take it easy. Relax. Life is short - enjoy the things you enjoy and do not feel guilty for simply taking care of business when dressed.

Thank u for that deep and conprehensive post, Gabrielle! You summed up what others have said, and A LOT more! Thank u.
There's many things here I need to consider. And hopefully, make the changes I need to make!

well maybe the sexual stage of dressing is where you're arriving at and not something to be worked through. I mean, maybe thats how its going to be for you.
Me personally I have often thought about how it would feel to just dress up and go about daily life like that but then i always get so turned on by it that, after minutes or hours, one thing leads to another and then afterwards I just can't wait to take it all off and do something else. I think I have arrived at a point where thats the norm.
By the way its REALLY damn hot here in england for once and right now just the idea of wearing anything made of nylon , well its just too damn hot is all I can say, so I'm online reading about other people doing it instead ;^) x

Strangely enuff, IWR, I've NEVER considered that my CDing had reached it's penultimate stage! I'll reconsider that now!
Yes, I dress the same way u do, IWS. Except that I ALREADY KNOW what will happen at the end of my 2 hour session!

Maybe u need to move to SCal! It was about 78 degrees today. ( That's 26 Cent.) I was wearing my silicone suit with a corset under it earlier. I was perspiring, but that had more to do with my physical activities, than the temp!

[Marcy_in_hose]

I am dealing with some guilt over it. I have just recently realized that I am a crossdresser. I like doing it. I like feeling sexy and pampered. I am still a bit embarrassed about it and I figure that is where the guilt is coming from. My g/f had a bit of a suspicion I think even before I knew myself. She says she is OK with it and I am glad she is.

I know it will be a part of me because it feels great and opens up a deeper appreciation and understanding of women which can't be a BAD thing!

[rachelgirlnw]

I revealed my "dark secret" to a therapist once. She shrugged, said "so what?", and told me about the movie Kinsey. It shows people of all ages and social status into a wide variety of sexual interests. The message? Sexual diversity is so common it is pedestrian. What I learned: don't hold myself to a higher standard than I do others. Also accept being weird (i.e. interesting, cool), not flawed. Keep it positive!

I wish you and everyone the best!

[Ðarissa]

I can't say I have ever felt guilty about it all, thankfully! I have certainly felt a number of other things but no guilt.

[helena.gcd]

I also feel guilty about crossdressing, specially the sexual part of it, but now I'm working on it. Accepting myself as I am, and finding out that am not the only one who liked it, is making a lot of progress with my guilty feelings.

enjoy yourself, you don't harm anyone

Hugs, Helena

[Jeanna]

I feel guilty about not telling my wife.

[gerdaberlin]

guilt has never played a major part here except when I couldnt manage to hold back my fluid desires, which works a lot better now, so no instant gratification anymore! This also holds up the energy to try out new locations, garments, public exposures etc, although now I am losing my hideout aptmt and have to be satisfied w only occasional cding in the near future. perhaps the day will come when the sexual part of it dissipates..__

[Annamarie B]

Personally I revel in the sexual pleasure aspect of CD'ing. I would guess that it's what got most of us into it, it's certainly what got me hooked! The difference now for me is that I can put off the end release phase and simply enjoy the female persona phase indefinitely. When I was a much hornier young Cd'er I often couldn't hold back. Guilt became a non-factor for me when I realized that I wasn't the only guy out there that liked to wear panties, and that happened a long time ago!

[Veronica Lacey]

Guilt. So powerful in the mind yet so impractical and wasteful in practice (to me.) I do not have an ultimately feminine personality inside so guilt still exists. I am a hetero male who simply learned to love dressing and enjoying sexual moments in doing so.

I do share your guilt of sexual pleasure being derived from dressing but not from dressing itself. I believe that my guilt in this way stems from the fact that my reasonably tolerant wife thinks that such an activity is ultimately masturbation and should be done alone. I also feel the guilt because I tend to enjoy being dressed and "gratified" probably more than making love simply because I programmed myself very early on that this was normal (and okay by the way.) I now enjoy both yet dressing is simply easier (maybe the guilt is from being sexually selfish, then.)

I also experience the guilt that Marla stated. When my dressing (and tying) prevent me from engaging every day "normal" life (not your exact words, Marla, just my own version) then I tend to get the guilt pangs. Not overly healthy but I accept them as a sort of check and balance feeling.

Being dressed for hours at a time is wonderful yet the session ultimately concludes in some form of sexual release. I sometimes think that if I dressed almost all of the time that eventually the urge for sexual satisfaction might dissipate. Dressing would become the norm rather than the hidden hobby. Same with being tied while dressed. Yet one could certainly argue that I would just be fooling myself. Perhaps I simply love sex, simply love dressing and simply love being a man all at the same time. With this in mind I try to keep both activities in perspective, that they are hobbies I like to entertain just as I do woodworking, poetry, photography or anything else that interests me.

So what good is it to feel guilty? Perhaps you simply need to state to yourself at these moments when you feel guilty, state exactly why you feel guilty. Does it just feel too good to be true? Is it because you want to do more with your life than exercise your female-dressing side yet still include it? Do you think you spend too much money on it and not enough on other aspects of your life?

Safe to say that you have a lot of support for your feelings. Perhaps a brief vacation from dressing is in order to help you sort this out?

[immike]

I feel slightly guilty,because I like to enter mothers closet secretly,in a pair of suntan
pantyhose&try on all of her dresses,skirts,silky white blouses,shoes&heels&stay dressed
for hours,walking around the house,practicing walking in heels&sitting at her make-up
table and doing my hair and make-up

[Rachel05]

I used to feel incredibly guilty once over but now I just feel really relaxed and happy when I am dressed and never a hint of guilt anymore

[Ms Mira]

I don't feel guilty about the act of dressing itself. I've accepted that I am a crossdresser and that, to get the most out of life, I am going to dress up every once in a while... It will just make me happier.

I do feel guilty, though, when dressing gets in the way of my other goals in life. Like, if I have been dressing a lot, I have significantly more difficulty talking to women; I know, it's silly, but I can't deny that it's the truth. Maybe guilt isn't the right word for this, but I also often wonder what my friend's and such would think about me if they knew... And I feel more guilty, for not being a more typical male, then.

So, I guess that even though I tell myself I don't feel guilty about crossdressing, it's a lot more complicated than that. Often, there are these thoughts in the back of my head, whether I even know if I have them or not, that effect me.

[Sarah Doepner]

Sherrie,
This is a wonderful thread because it is so close to the core of our world. It is so very difficult to isolate gender and sex, regardless of our continual exclaimations that they are very different aspects of our being. Until we, as individuals, can sort out all those conflicting concepts there is a very good possibility of confusion and guilt. I know that gender and sex are different, but by gawd there are times when I look in the mirror and I know there has been a shift in the goal of my dressing. I may have started out with the plan to try find the best possible outfit and look as female as possible, but the fact that I am a man can't be ignored and rises to the occasion. Back in the day before my wife's cancer disrupted our sex life, there would be plenty of guilt associated with the sexual part of my dressing, but that issue is, unfortunately behind us.
The guilt is a result of that confusion and the occasional (frequent) migration of intent. While I can control my image and consious mind, the body responds as it wants. The other aspect of guilt has been addressed by Marla, Raquelle and others. When my dressing interfers with my responsibilities to others I should feel guilty and usually do.
Good luck in working through this. I don't experience a lot of guilt these days, but I'm human and it's still there.

[Rachel Morley]

Does CDing make U feel guilty?

Not any more. It used to when I was single and living alone. I used to blame it for the fact I didn't have a romantic relationship with anyone, and of course back then, my thinking followed that traditional bi-gendered BS way of thinking. After I'd gotten out of the clothes I'd feel guilty and say things to myself like: "This is not normal behavior for a guy" or "you shouldn't be fanning the flames" or "this can't be good for you if it makes you feel guilty".

However, I did the complete opposite of all of those. I continued to dress, I increased the length and frequency of my dressing, and I met my wife on a crossdressing forum.

For me, getting past the guilt and accepting that this will always be a part of my life and so I should enjoy it and even be proud of it, is how I worked it out.

[Celeste]

Hi Doc,My cding sends me into a sexual frenzy at times,but I really feel that its OK and that I shouldn't have to worry about what anyone else's idea of cding is.I like dressing to be sexual,that will always be a part of it for me.


There are others here who feel the same,we can have it both ways ,fun and freedom from guilt. Just because we change the type of clothes we wear ,shouldn't change the fact that we all have human sexual desires that need to be met,and it is my opinion that its not wrong to satisfy those desires when they come ,in either mode.

[CD Susan]

I nerver have any feelings of guilt over my crossdressing. Many years ago before I learned to accept this part of me I would have negative feelings about my dressing. I don't think it was guilt but rather anger and frustration over the fact that I was not "normal" like all the other guys I knew. I used to live in fear of other people finding out about my "strange habit" but that ended too after I came out to my family. Now I enjoy my feminine side with absolutely no regrets over it.

[Carly D.]

Why would I feel guilty.. or rather why do I feel guilty?? I can't figure out why I feel guilty when I wear.. or is it guilt?? what is it I feel?? why do I hide it?? why am I deathly afraid to tell anyone of my little secret?? the longer I don't tell it feels like if I tell "now" then it's gonna be hard to tell the person that I didn't tell sooner because of the negative reaction that I figure will come.. I know there are those who will say "but you don't know..." and yeah I don't know the reaction, but it is that fear of the unknown that keeps me running as it were.. I've thought of the good, bad and beyond horrible reactions to my telling and the worst case scenerio puts me in the "wish I never told" mode...

[Tasha McIntyre]

I never really had a guilt phase at all. There was certainly a deep confusion that lasted many a year.

The only guilt I have is that I kept the whole thing secret for so long.

Tash

[RobertaM]

I still have guilty thoughts,, its been the longest period without me dressing in a long time. 3 weeks.. and i have been very active lately last few months with my activities.

Why do I mention this,, Although this chill period was not planned it helps to add some reflextion to your needs wants and desires.

My dressing urges are changing,, i have gotten over the sexual stage about a year ago. Now i dress to express my femme side.

I feel guilty due to my time away from family when i do this,, Im dad and need to be at home,, i feel guilty for laying this burdon on my wife.

On the flip side,, being happy and experiancing dressing in public is absolutely mind blowing.
thanx for listening.
roberta

[5150 Girl]

Well,, I don't have feelings of guilt because I dress,, but I do feel sinfull when I look at my pics. The sin of vanity seems to overwhelm me.

[kasha]

I go through phases. And I've been going through a massive guilt phase lately. Some how I think I'm letting people down who depend on me. My whole world seems unsettled.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

When I was younger, I kind of felt guilty just having the urge to CD. When I finally embraced my female side, no more feeling guilty. I'm still the same person and I'm proud of who I am.




Felicity