hanging with the guys?

[rachelgirlnw]

I was thinking about my friends and was curious about something.

Basically, I have a few really good male friends. We hang out sometimes and do common guy things. I'm pretty much in "everyday guy" mode at these times and my femme side never even comes to mind.

But, then again, I've never been one of those guys that hangs with a big pack of guys. You know, the television stereotyped group that watches sports in their man cave, plays poker each week with the boys, drinks a lot of beer, high-fiving each other kind of group.

Yes, I know it's a generalization, but I know some guys who are pretty close to that mark. I'm a big sports fan, so it's not a matter of not relating. Without judgment, I've just never really related to that scene.

So I was curious, is it because of my feminine side that I don't really "hang with the pack"? I don't know, maybe I'm just over-analyzing this.

What about you? Do you have a big group of guy friends or just a few good friends? I know there are a wide-range of us on this site so there are many factors here.

Anyway, I was just curious what you thought... Thanks!

[Kittykitty]

Well... I've always felt better hanging with the women. I LOVE sports too, but it was instilled in me by the females in my family, kinda odd, I know.

I'd rather talk a little sports with my sister in law, who can certainly keep up, then flip through fashion mags and catalogs commenting on what we like, then gossip a bit, then talk family stuff.... you know, actual conversation and not guy grittiness and competativeness.

Give me flowers and chitchat any day of the week.

Give me football on Sundays.

("War Eagles, I'm Out.")

[Teri Jean]

Rachel, I think I know what you mean in that I hang with the guys now and then at the legion and they are typical guys doing guy things. Although I find the service to the veterans honorable and all there are those guy moments that don't to sit in my camp. Sports in generalare fine but a good hockey game is more than drinking beer and eating popcorn. It's a fast moving and intense game of skill, whereas football and baseball is much slower. I'm degressing here.

I find the chatter of women talking much more appealing so I tend to sit on the fringes of both groups. Listening to the guys talk about individual players, teams while absorbing the women's conversations. It is more comfortable exchanging reciptes and talking about new designs of seasonal wears than stats of players and teams. I never cared for the guy mode and have been entrolled with the women' subjects.

Keli

[Persephone]

Other than my son, I have a couple of close guy friends. I'm not a classical sports buff and never have been. Most years I do watch the Superbowl, mostly 'cause we go to a couples party and have fun.

Rather than watching sports, most of my guy hobbies tend to be of the "ammo, cammo, and things that go blammo" variety.

I go to lunch every week with my best guy friend and we talk business and hobbies (we share many in common). Sometimes we also get into some deep personal stuff.

I talk with my next closest guy friend once a week when we go to dinner with them as two couples.

Next closest I see every couple of months.

None of them really knows about my feminine side, although they tolerate my long hair, nails, purse carrying and the like.

I have a number of woman friends and we lunch, shop, talk on the phone, etc. pretty much every couple of days.

I've become much more accustomed to "girl talk," and tend to enjoy it more than "guy talk," but I do enjoy the conversations and the "bonding" with my male friends.

[rachelgirlnw]

Give me football on Sundays. ("War Eagles, I'm Out.")

Hi Kitty... Auburn? On Sunday??? ... *s*

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Rachael

Yeah i hang out with a crowd of guys too quite often, we're into the modified car scene and have a real laugh, and like you, my "femme side" never comes to mind when i'm with them.
Strangely enough i do suspect one of my friends of being a c/der though [little clues that only we could pick up on ].

[Deb The Brunette]

Hi Rachael


Strangely enough i do suspect one of my friends of being a c/der though [little clues that only we could pick up on ].

Well he' probably picked up on yours too then lol


.

[Deborah Jane]

Well he' probably picked up on yours too then lol.

Yup, but he's no more likely to ask me than i am him

[Marisa_M]

So I was curious, is it because of my feminine side that I don't really "hang with the pack"? I don't know, maybe I'm just over-analyzing this.

What about you? Do you have a big group of guy friends or just a few good friends? I know there are a wide-range of us on this site so there are many factors here.

Anyway, I was just curious what you thought... Thanks!

From my point of view yes, it is because our feminine side. Maybe we can like sports and drink beer but we don't enjoy that stereotypical macho attitude of "hanging with the pack".
Don't forget that we are different from the average guys.

I enjoy having a drink and talk a lot with my few but good male friends in a quiet and relaxing atmosphere the same I enjoy it with my female friends but I must admit I feel more comfortable with the girls.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

So I was curious, is it because of my feminine side that I don't really "hang with the pack"? I don't know, maybe I'm just over-analyzing this.

I'd say you are probably over-analyzing it. Because of the social taboo of crossdressing, I think most cd's do over-analyze this aspect of their lives in an effort to "figure out what's wrong" (or just "figure it out", period). I used to do the same thing, and I see it ALL the time in online communities.

What about you? Do you have a big group of guy friends or just a few good friends? I know there are a wide-range of us on this site so there are many factors here.

I do not have a large group of friends. I also don't like sports, or a lot of "typical" guy things. It is unlikely any of that has anything to do with the fact I'm a part-time t-girl. Truth be told, I'm really not in to a lot of "girl-associated activities" aside from looking like one (and of course behaving feminine when dressed as one).

Ever since I was a kid, I always enjoyed spending time alone, experimenting with electronic components, playing alone, and later learning how to use a computer (when home computing became more mainstream in the early 80's). I spent much of my time alone by choice, and it was not because of my crossdressing, but rather because I simply enjoyed my nerdy geek-interests and I was never much of a people person.

There are a lot of guys, who are not transgendered, and do not do the whole "guy thing" you spelled out. There are also a lot of guys who do in fact do the whole "guy thing" AND they're also a crossdresser as well. I've read plenty of posts like that in this forum - very manly men who also crossdress.

Being transgendered is simply one of many personal traits we have. It is not directly related or connected with all that we do, but rather another ingredient in the recipe of who we are. The sum of those ingredients will be very different from person to person.

For me, being transgendered is not why I do what I do, but simply part of who I am. I make my choices in personal activities based on what I enjoy, plain and simple. Isn't that what all non-crossdressers do to?

[Persephone]

There are a lot of guys, who are not transgendered, and do not do the whole "guy thing" you spelled out. There are also a lot of guys who do in fact do the whole "guy thing" AND they're also a crossdresser as well. I've read plenty of posts like that in this forum - very manly men who also crossdress.

Being transgendered is simply one of many personal traits we have. It is not directly related or connected with all that we do, but rather another ingredient in the recipe of who we are. The sum of those ingredients will be very different from person to person.

For me, being transgendered is not why I do what I do, but simply part of who I am. I make my choices in personal activities based on what I enjoy, plain and simple. Isn't that what all non-crossdressers do to?

Great statement!

[Rachel Morley]

Great statement!

Ditto!

[Stitch]

Oddly as a GG I've never gotten on particularly well with other women. I have a few close older female friends, but the majority of my friends are male. As a gamer and geek though, I suppose its just because we understand each other better. Then I'm also fairly antisocial, and

I generally find men to be more laid back. Young women, especially teens can be absolutely brutal. I went to college in a class with 14 girls and 1 boy and it was hell.

I really don't think its really much to do with whether you have more feminine or masculine traits, (as I'm a pretty good balance of both) more rather of who your personality meshes with best.

[Jessica Who]

I can relate. I love sports as well and can be pretty masculine but never over the top with it, like most men seem to be. I'm not into the whole grimy, sweaty, etc hanging out. Actually, it's a bit tough to put into words but I know exactly what you mean.

I'm glad that I'm not alone in these types of feelings.

[drushin703]

I, for one, dont have many male friends and I detest being in a crowd of
high-fiveing, loud talking, drinking and eating chickenwings guys.that is just
not my scene.My one good male friend had his new girfriend withhim this past weekend and I think she was uncomfortable seeing a man in shorts with such
beautifully shaved legs.she appeared to me to be very misterious.but so what!
this is who and what I am and I cannot change.Crossdressing, sometimes will
ruin all male relationships....

[Carroll]

I don't really have any good male friends at all. The last time I "hung out" with any group of guys was when I was in the band and even then as soon as the gig was over I wanted to just pack up and go. I am not into any sports except NASCAR, but even then it's basically just watching the race. Like a lot of us here, I prefer to chill with females.