And done.
And done.
Current theme song: I Think I Love You
Milhouse Van Houten + Dale Gribble + My Chemical Romance + Lars Lindstrom + Tweek = :Ze:
got my binder yesterday ( the 988 ) I'm wearing it now. It was a bit hard to get on but not nearly as hard as some of the stories ive heard xD My main concern is how to get it OFF >>;
Anyway it binds pretty well. Not perfectly, but better than I was doing before xD I wouldn't suggest it for anyone bigger. But my main surprise was that its so COMFORTABLE o.O are binders supposed to be comfy? Im in love with it haha. I'll post pics when I stop being sick >.<
ah, yes...getting the binder on and off...Soon, you will be proficient in "The Binder Dance".
No, it won't combine completely, since, well, you've still got something under there. Nothing will make your chest look flatter than an actual flat chest. But getting most of the way flat while saving for top surgery money is pretty nice. Have you tried it with a sports bra?
Yes, binders are meant to bind comfortably. This is the healthy way to bind. You are not meant to feel pain, like you would with the Ace bandage approach. Now, aren't you glad we all yelled at you?
Get well soon, Tom.
The ZP Poem
Everytime I go to pee, I'm gonna be thinking:
"There's this kid somewhere in PA named Ze. I wonder if Ze has to pee. Does Ze have to hold it, or can Ze let free? There is no fun with infected kidneys.
Not everyone's body matches their psyche. Whether be sir or whether be she, everyone deserves a safe place to pee. So come on people, let people be."
And then I'll realize I've been rhyming to myself and the guy in the urinal next to me will beat me up.
Current theme song: I Think I Love You
Milhouse Van Houten + Dale Gribble + My Chemical Romance + Lars Lindstrom + Tweek = :Ze:
I dunno Thornton, I’ve been wearing a binder since I was 17 [4 years ] and I think the uncomfortable feeling is more annoyance than pain lol. Never seems to be comfortable these days…NEVER.
Also, I don’t need to dislocate my shoulders to get mines on or dance to get mines off now, I have a zip on the front woohoo!
[SIZE="3"]-Broken out of a window in hell-[/SIZE]
yeah, sometimes it can get itchy in places, and sticky on hazy days....and the annoying reminder that we even have to wear a binder at all...
damn you and your zipper
The ZP Poem
Everytime I go to pee, I'm gonna be thinking:
"There's this kid somewhere in PA named Ze. I wonder if Ze has to pee. Does Ze have to hold it, or can Ze let free? There is no fun with infected kidneys.
Not everyone's body matches their psyche. Whether be sir or whether be she, everyone deserves a safe place to pee. So come on people, let people be."
And then I'll realize I've been rhyming to myself and the guy in the urinal next to me will beat me up.
Zipper fight!
Current theme song: I Think I Love You
Milhouse Van Houten + Dale Gribble + My Chemical Romance + Lars Lindstrom + Tweek = :Ze:
i agree the 10 posting rule is a silly one but i think i understand why they have it. as for passing someone said before you are already a male just be who you are, dress as you feel and in time all will fall into place
i wonder why cant they just invent something that switches mtf's to ftm's .. even if its for a few months at a time.. that would solve all our problems
Current theme song: I Think I Love You
Milhouse Van Houten + Dale Gribble + My Chemical Romance + Lars Lindstrom + Tweek = :Ze:
okay. so. update. *sigh*
In case you all were wondering, I did not, in fact, die or fall off the face of the earth. =P
As I told Ze, (copypaste because im being lazy and i already have way too much to type out as it is)
"i wanted to take some time off from the forums for a while. having some of those fun questioning-myself issues.. wanted to sort through them some. because every time i came to CD.com it would inspire me and push me forward even more.. and i just... needed to take a breather and make sure it was what i really wanted. cause i rushed into things a bit fast and didnt examine myself enough. so im having to backtrack and do all that introspection self-analysis stuff."
So. on that subject. Still. going through... hell in my mind. and i really have no idea what the %@&! is going on. im so confused i barely know where to start.
mostly i guess im confused about my gender identity. and it might be because of me being surrounded by way too many feminine guys and MtFs... but im finding femininity more attractive. like... *furrows brow* its weird though. cause like im attracted to it and i like it and a part of my mind goes
"but wait D: you're trying to be more guyish"
and then i start thinking, "well maybe im confused about my want to be a guy?"
and then i consider maybe staying female. but then that idea is just so revolting somehow.
and i think. well maybe ill just dress girly for a day and get it out of my system. but then i realise... i dont want that either. i dont want to be girly. ive never really been feminine.
so i dont really know whats going on. its just when im trying to be more guyish i feel like i kindof loose parts of myself and i feel... almost deprived of something. but i dont know what. and i think im bored. guys clothes are boring. i love girly stuff and femininity... just on OTHER people not on me. and its weird cause i like them but i just dont want to wear them. i dont feel comfortable in them. i dont like how it makes me feel. and i realised that maybe the reason im bored is not because of the clothes but because of the internal changes...
when im in drag i become extremely more quiet, very apathetic, very calm. its pretty much opposite of what im used to being. im used to being loud and hyper and weird. but i can't seem guyish when i do that. and im self-concious of my voice so i dont talk much. and my smile makes me girly so i dont smile much. and i feel... like im suppressing myself rather than expressing myself. and then i realized... freaking hell. i dont even pass. or i dont think i do. i feel like i still look like a girl no matter what. and thats probably the part that is affecting me the most.
its depressing to go out and think "i dont pass everyone looks at me and immediately sees a girl. this is so useless i hate this. i feel like a freak and a loser i shouldnt even do this anymore" and that mindset gets me so down and hurt and upset. it really really discourages me. and when i remember back when i first started crossdressing... i believed i passed really well. i was so happy. my self esteem went wayy up. i actually thought i was attractive and i was really really happy. its when i started thinking that i didnt pass... when i realized that it was much easier to look like a guy in pictures than in real life... thats really the point when everything kindof crashed and burned...
so... im extremely confused about... well still about "is this what i want?" and also about "what do i do?" *sigh*
anyway... i know thats all a jumble of mixed up thoughts and nonsense but thats kindof been my confused mindset recently and i don't really know what to do with it. I turned to you guys because... well you understand. you know how scary and hard this is and you've been a huge source of support and guidance to me thus far, i hoped i could find some kindof clarity here. Thanks for taking the time to read.
Thomas
Amen!! It's almost like there is a great cosmic joke going on and we're the last to be in on it.
Great new avatar, Ze! Snappy pic!
Greetings, Thomas. Nice to see you post here again.
It's possible you are truly feeling the tug of both sides to one degree or another. And honestly, I do not feel that gender is black and white, but a mix of hues. What we call male or female is often defined by societal roles and views that are popular at any given time to suit the situation (although some last centuries).
On the other hand, there is a part of you that may be having difficulty "letting go" of your perceived femine side for whatever reason. If you wish to retain some of it, so be it. Why not? Whether it's an aspect of mannerism, attire, or attitude. Be YOU. Discover YOU. Take your time. And I hate to say this, but we all change and grow over time into something different than what we are today.
Whether others feel you pass or not should not be as important as if YOU feel you pass or that you feel you are being true to yourself.
I do hope that makes a semblance of sense. We may not all know who we are 100% and the journey can be a struggle, but day by day, year by year, we can learn who we are and be true to that.
Cheers
Last edited by Ze; 10-01-2009 at 03:39 PM. Reason: Naughty Elric! No consecutive posts! ;)
Elric
[SIZE="1"]"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field."
-- Niels Bohr[/SIZE]
Current theme song: I Think I Love You
Milhouse Van Houten + Dale Gribble + My Chemical Romance + Lars Lindstrom + Tweek = :Ze: