Who is your best friend?

[KiraJ]

This is a question for FTM and MTF who are on the path of at least some amount of gender transition that would be evident to another person who has known you since childhood.

During and after transition, we tend to lose some friends and gain other friends. Some relationships get worse, but some other relationships improve. Some friends stay with us, whether we transition or not.

Who is your best friend as of today? How did you first meet this friend? How long ago was it? What makes this person, in your opinion, your best friend? Has this person seen you in both genders? If you have had to come out to this friend, how did he/she react?

[Anna the Dub]

My best friend has been with me now for 18 years. She was with me before I started on this path when I was still trying to live a lie, she was the first person I came out to, the first person to see me dressed (she did my make up), she was with me through those early days when I was so depressed, she came with me to my first appointment with my therapist, she says now that she cannot really remember what I was like before I came out, she is my most ardent supporter and my fiercest defender and I would not swop her for the world. She has told me that when I eventually have my SRS she wants to come with me and will be waiting when I wake up. What more could you ask of your best friend? Nothing! She is the best and I love her to bits.

[Lisa Golightly]

My best friend is a guy called Robbie.

I actually first met him when I interviewed him for a logistics manager's post at an IT company I was kind of second in command of... The moment I saw him I kind of fell for him, though it was a platonic thing.

How long... God... Erm... Let's see... 1996.

What makes him my best friend... Well, apart from loving him very deeply we've shared turbulent times that bind you in a special way. His illnesses, my father's death, failed romances, heartaches, laughter, music (a very big thing for us both)... He bought me my first femme gifts... Special things...

Yes he has seen me man and woman. He met me as a suited and booted management type with a succession of fast cars and beautiful women (hmmmmm) and I later told him I crossdressed... Seeing me dressed became this big deal but when he eventually saw me he reckoned I was so at peace he understood, and he was the first person whom I told I was TS.

His reaction to the TS thing was great until hormones turned my platonic interest in men to a very sexual one. When a special guy appeared on the scene he did get very weird around me for a while and things looked grim for us. But he put me first and accepted my situation and has even offered to accompany me when I get SRS to ensure I get the best treatment and am safe.

Always loved him, and he has thankfully grown to love Lisa as much as the boy he lost.

[Valerie]

is my wife, without a doubt, and perhaps I should say she is the only true friend Valerie has...

Valerie

[Aubrey Green]

Was my dad, my whole life and we lost him suddenly in March.

[Carole Cross]

My best friend died ten years ago. I now know he also had GID issues and because of that became an alcoholic, which eventually led to his deatth. We were like brothers and had he still been alive today we would probably have gone through transition together.

[metalguy639]

My best friend is my roomate. I refer to her as my sister because we are not romantically involved. We have been roomates for 10 years now. We've got alot in common such as our families and how they treat us (although my family had the opposite reaction to most families when I came out to them. They embraced me instead of the usual get away from me thing...), we've been homeless together more than once. She knew me as female and now male for over a year. She has been a total blessing in my life and I do not know what I would do without her. She had a stroke about 3 years ago that was very scary.

[Siobhan Marie]

[SIZE="3"]My best friend is my friend Lisa, she's trans and about 3 years in transition. She was the first person that I came out to and has been there for me ever since. [/SIZE]

[Jena11]

Well, I would have to say that my best friend is Tammie who has known me for 17 years now and has been one of my biggest supporters and helping me with my gender transition, It has been challenging for her and she just continues to see the real me and is accepting it all the way. The reason this is a hard question is that my recent roomate and friend of 11 years Kim is like my family through it all. It is more of a challenge for Kim since we both work for the same company and sometimes work together. We get along great and that is not the issue. It is just somewhat hard for her to use my female name and say her because she is so use to me at work and so on. She sure does try and again is there for me no matter what.

Jen

[BreenaDion]

My best freind is my wife. I literally swept her off her feet. We met threw a dating service in 86. I had trouble with transportation of sorts, I didnt want to use a work vehicle or motor cycle. My corvette was in the shop being fixed so after chatting on the phone for a few days , I decided to rent a limo. Ya go to dinner an we agreed to go bowling afterwards. Beautiful date I may say and flowers to boot, turns out well worth the cost! Lots more to this but ya she feel real deep. 9 Dates in 10 days I proposed to her couple days later I told her about my cding. She cried but saw what I had to offer an she never looked back.

Now threw my transitioning, thinking with my Ph.D. in these matters for complete transition to female, why didnt this happen decades before. Even still my wife is there for me in support an freindship. I had to sell myself kinda sorta an told her it only gets better. She sees this in me an willing to say at least untile I heal from SRS years done the road.

She isnt pretty like my first wife but I married her for who she is," freind"

I thank god for having such a wonderful person love me like she does.

Love Bree

[Diane24]

My best friend didn't start out friendly at all! I was in the middle of my RLT and had been shopping in a supermarket. When I came out, this woman came up to me and gave me the very devil for pretending to be a woman, making a mockery of real women, etc., etc.! I next met her at the local clinic while waiting to see my Doctor. She was a mess from having been beat by her husband and was waiting for x-rays. Anyway, she recognized me and apologized for her outburst in the parking lot and proceeded to tearfully tell about her terrible home-life. The police and the Doctors wanted her out of the house and away from the bully. I invited her to spend a day or two at my place... I had just moved into an old farm house with several bedrooms. So... she did... and has never left! We've grown very close and hope to get married one day soon! (As soon as NY makes up it's mind about same-sex marriages!) She was there for me through my SRS and we just love each other to pieces! Her EX-husband is still in jail for nearly killing another woman!
So, that's the story of how I met Arlene, my best friend and love!

Diane

[melissaK]

Some great stories - you never know stories, kind of inspiring - especially thinking about another thread going right now on the fear of being alone.

MBF is my wife. We met in college, dated, stopped dating, married others, moved to distant cities, ended up in the same city, divorced at the same time ending 15 year marriages, and we began dating again. Our new relationshsip was without secrets - my gender issues were put on the table right away. Time flies and we have been together over 15 years now - and I am hopelssly in love with her; we are one of those pathetically close couples who aren't apart much. But on my gender issues she knows my internal struggle with transistion and her fears of it ending our relationship inhibits her ability to talk to me about it. So, thank goodness for these boards and the occasional therapist.

Only 2 long time guy friends know, and I am 50-50 on their staying around.

hugs,
'lissa

[Teri Jean]

This is one of those things that has been the toughest questions for me as I have a lot of friends but who would be my best friend. I would normally have to say my daughters as they are my life to date and I could say a co-worker who with his wife took me into their lives when my wife passed. Another would be a sister CD by the name of SusanCD has been such a dear and been so friendly and supportive, thank you Susan. But to be honest with everyone there is no one special friend but many wonderful friends both in my male life and of course here.

As I move closer to transitioning I would have to say my sister-in-law, my wife's sister who has been so accepting and loving. I would hope as I go through this period in my life I would find all my friends to look past their convictions and support me, love me, and accept this as my time.

Teri

[Jenna1561]

I have never had a best friend until this year, even though I am married for 23+ years. My wife did not know until 3 years ago. So I kept a secret, that I couldn't/wouldn't share, so I never let her get close. When I did come out to her, she would not discuss the subject at all.

Stephanie, my Best Friend, I met at work about a year ago. She became a friend about 8 months ago and my very best friend about 4 months ago. Short time for a best friend right?

But she knows me better than anyone else on this planet, she knew me as I pretended to be a guy and as myself. There is absolutely nothing about me that is a secret from her. And the opposite is true. I know just about everything someone can know about her. We share everything (except clothes - I'm a 22; she's a 2 - yes an odd couple). She totally supports and loves me as I do her.

Like several others here, my best friend will be with me next March for my SRS. She'll hold my hand and I'll wake up to her smiling, friendly face.

I could not ask for for a better friend.

Jen

[joanlynn28]

My best friend is my sister Alyssa. We met in a drag bar over three years ago under the most unusual circumstances. My makeup was overdone and I looked like a train wreak. She was trying her best to persuade me that this life was not easy and that I should just turn back. Anyway that did not happen, our friendship has grown stronger over the three short years we have know each other. We have similar interests and probable could not live without each other. And the surprising thing is that our lives have crossed paths over 25 years ago, we both flew out of the same FBO and we figured if we had met then that both of us likely would have done our transitions a lot earlier than either of us did. Besides that we are surgery sisters and share a home together along with her wife and son. We just are a family, a little different one at that.

[LisaM]

My best friend is my SO. And she is my harshest critic as well. She has zero interest in seeing me transition but she accepts my need to express myself.

[Saika]

Who is your best friend?

a. My partner

Who is your best friend as of today?

a. As above

How did you first meet this friend?

a. Online

How long ago was it?

a. 2005

What makes this person, in your opinion, your best friend?

a. She rocks!

Has this person seen you in both genders?

a. Yes

If you have had to come out to this friend, how did he/she react?

a. Hard at first. Lots of communication between us, lots of mixed feelings. She's my world and I would not let her go for anything. She makes me feel cherished and loved for who I am.

[Melissa A.]

My best friend is another transwoman. her name is Stephanie. We met online a couple years ago, as we are both room monitors in the tg chatroom we frequent. Our paths could not have been more opposite. Although I have struggled with my identity for decades, much of it was self-induced, through denial or shame. I have always had a loving, supportive, caring family, parents, siblings and 99% of my extended family, as well. Stephanie didnt have it so easy. There are different types of TS's, and Steph was one of those who proclaimed at an early age-"no, no- you're all wrong-I'm a girl". How'd that work for her? Not real well. The details of her life are too numerous to recount right now, but her parents tried to beat it out of her, treated her like crap("you're a loser who will never amount to anything"-really! to a 9 year old kid!), had her thrown in jail, threw her out of the house, and tried everything they could to make her a "man". Well, damn if they didnt succeed. She grew to hate herself and became a macho, violent, toughguy, who abused herself and her body for decades, and also had many problems with the law.

She is about the strongest and most intelligent person I know, cares deeply about our community, has a heart a big as all outdoors, and will go to bat for you in a heartbeat. She was meant for great things, and I know she will achieve them, even with a very late start.

We compliment eachother well. Me-the cerebral, kinda quiet, friendly girl who wouldnt and couldnt hurt a fly, and her-the tough, outspoken, incredibley smart, outgoing, woman who makes new friends everywhere she goes. When asked if she regrets all the struggles and horrible things she went through, her answer is, "No. Then I wouldn't be ME now, would I?" Now that we live in the same town, she has started spending time with my family, and they have accepted her unconditionally, as they always have me. I can't tell you how happy and gratifying it is to bring her into my family, since she basically has none. In return, I get a strength from her friendship that has helped me grow and change in ways I never thought were possible. We go out and party together, explore this wonderful city we both now live in, talk on the phone every day, and have found a love and closeness that I never really had in a friend before. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for her.

Hugs,

Melissa

[SirTrey]

It's hard for Me to say I have a BEST friend, as I have several friends who would qualify for that title for various reasons....but I can say that My oldest friend is a girl named Debbie....I met her in fourth grade when we were ten...I had just moved to a new school and she was being picked on by some bullies (I hate bullies and never was one, but I do have a pretty forceful personality)....Anyway....Some kids were picking on her and she was crying and looked scared....I walked up to the group and took a confrontational stance, simply told them that they were going to leave her alone and that the next person that picked on her was going to get their ass kicked by Me....She said thank you, we started talking....and have been like family ever since....I'm going to be 50 in January, so that means we have been friends now for almost 40 years (wow, I just realized how long that really is)....Whereas My birth family wants nothing to do with Me since I started testosterone, Deb has been there from the beginning and our friendship is really pretty much the same as it always was.....I was always the guy in the friendship, so that's nothing new....I have always protected her and will continue to do so, probably until we both die....She is like a sister to Me....and....the first Christmas after I came out....She bought Me a card that I will keep forever....It said, "To My Brother"...She will probably never know how much that meant to Me.

[CharleneT]

Who is your best friend as of today?

A man named Robert Johnson

How did you first meet this friend?

Saw him playing in a small club in IL ( Juicy John Pink's ). Hired him on the stop for later that year at the college where I was a student ( my student job was to arrange the concerts).

How long ago was it?

Summer of 1977


What makes this person, in your opinion, your best friend?

Over the years our friendship has grown, slowly and surely. After a long time you figure out who actually has your back regardless of circumstances. As well, you realize who will take you for who you are.

Has this person seen you in both genders?

Yes - even better, he and his wife just moved to Thailand (hint hint... where I want my SRS).

If you have had to come out to this friend, how did he/she react?

Yes, he and Marge (his wife) reacted very positively. I believe that it will deepen our friendship because they now know even more about me.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

But to say, best, would be Julie my neighbor, I see her every couple of days and we can talk about anything. Known her for about 6 years but much closer since I told her I was taking hormones to transition. Another best friend is Stephanie, she works at my company, known her for 3 1/2 years, we both were hired on the same day and consider ourselves work buddies and we talk everyday, we don't see each other after work. And my next best friend is Tammy, who was the first person I told about Kim, I've known her for 12+ years from a previous job and again I can talk to her about everything.

These three best friends are my immediate support group for me and will always be friends to me. I also have at least another 15-20 friends and relatives who know about Kim. This helps me to be me. Kim