In a Perfect World....

[meri]

I believe on of the reasons we feminize ourselves to the extent we do, one of the reasons we "need" to dress so badly is because we have repressed our natural feminine urge all our lives.

Many people here report being "caught" trying on feminine clothing when they were very young and getting scolded for it. Or forced to wear the objectionable clothing all day or all week long. In addition, as kids, any outward display of feminine behavior has been "corrected".

In other words, we have been molded by our culture from the beginning of our lives to be the stereo-typical "male".

Eastern philosophy says the goal is balance between the feminine and the masculine (yin and yang). However, in our Western culture, all of that repressed feminine behavior lies just beneath the surface most of our lives, pops up once in a while, but is never permitted to run free and integrate fully into our personality.

Sure, it pops up here and there, but for the most part, it is repressed.

At some point in our lives the pressure builds up to a point where it simply must burst through and manifest. At such times, we hit the stores and drawers and go into a "pink" frenzy to work the energy off.

I believe we learn from these pink episodes and perhaps work off some of the damage we have taken as a result of our forced repression. However, it's never really enough and the urge cycles back again and again.

So, I can't help wondering that if we lived in a perfect world where our feminine tending actions were never questioned or criticized, if perhaps we would not need to push ourselves to the extremes that we do in our attempts to feminize ourselves.

It's interesting to note that Western women have for the most part, achieved this perfect world. They freely swing from feminine to masculine in the space of a single day in both behavior and dress. However, and this is an important difference, you can always tell they are women. The incidence of females dressing and attempting to fully appear as men is very much lower than the incidence of men attempting to fully appear as women.

This can only be a "thought" experiment since this world does not exist -- for men.

Open your minds, use your imagination... What would you wear in the perfect world, how would you behave? Would anything be different? Would we be more balanced? Perhaps we would truly be more like women in such a world, able to swing back and forth between the poles as interest and necessity dictates. Would we look like men in soft, frilly clothing or would we still need to appear fully as women?

[deja true]

Eastern philosophy says the goal is balance between the feminine and the masculine (yin and yang). However, in our Western culture, all of that repressed feminine behavior lies just beneath the surface most of our lives, pops up once in a while, but is never permitted to run free and integrate fully into our personality.

Ah! This paragraph caught my attention. And it came to me that all those tough, killer samurais in the movies were quite commonly also adept at tea ceremony or ikebana (flower arranging) or calligraphy. A melding of sensibilities!

While our impression of samurais from the movies may not be all that historically correct, it seemed important to be able to show it. To show that a man wasn't necessarily just a brute.

Ever seen a cowboy film where the sheriff or the gunslinger could also make a quilt or prepare a meal with real china and silverware? Remember where taking a bath more often than once a month was a cause for derision?

Our culture negates the feminine, the sensitive, the artistic, the aesthetically pleasing for males.

Good post, Meri!

[PaulaJaneThomas]

the artistic

Yes, that's why musicians and actors are treated as social outcasts, shunned by the media and forced to work for a pittance whilst the glossy magazines are full of tittle-tattle about the private lives of glamorous computer programmers and high-flying drainage engineers.

[Nikki A.]

In a perfect world I at least would wear the soft & frilly and maybe not always strive to pass as a woman. But then in a perfect world even if I did that would be fine too.

[Melissa Rose]

In a perfect world, I would want to appear as a woman. It's more than just about the clothes for me, it is feeling and looking feminine.

[meri]

Thanks for your replies ladies. Personally, I like skirts and some dresses. I do like color and florals, but not over the top. Would never pass, so in a perfect world I would enjoy the clothing, but probably not mess with hair and makeup. I do, however, enjoy getting my nails painted -- it's just fun.

I find that the clothing does bring out some of the feminine virtues and values in me, so in terms of how I would act and behave, perhaps a little more nurturing. I have to think more about that one.

[Crysten]

In a perfect world, my parents would have totally accepted me as a crossdresser/transgender at a VERY early age, would have supported me, and who knows how my life would have turned out. Definitely things would have been VERY different. No complaints though, my life is ok as it is

Possible scenario: 24/7 full time enfemme at 9 years of age. Androgens at 12, female hormones at 16 or 17, SRS at 21. And, I would not have my children. Or my wife. Or my current career. Or my house.

So, what's perfect? I don't know. Would be neat to know how something like that would have turned out, that's for sure. Definitely would NOT be the person I am today .

Crysten

[dawnmarrie1961]

In any world or parallel universe I would still be compelled to be "Me". Wouldn't change the outcome because my path would still be the same.It would just be a lot easier to get from point A to point B. Less rocks and boulders to overcome.

As rough as it maybe sometimes. I like this world better. And even though I stubbed my toes on the rocks and boulders they were there for a reason. Each was a lesson that I needed to learn. Take them away and I learn nothing.

OK I can agree that might change the outcome a bit. My feet wouldn't hurt as much!!

[TGMarla]

It's hard to say what I'd wear in this "perfect" world. I think often that in a more perfect world, I'd have been a woman, so I'd be wearing feminine clothing. I absolutely love dresses and high heels, hosiery and jewelry, long hair and lacy underwear. Is this simply because I'm repressing things? Or in my own yin and yang, perhaps a bit more of the feminine is present there already. All of the life force in the universe is a combinant of good and evil, and masculine and feminine. In order to achieve balance and perfection in one's soul, one must embrace and master them all. It is only then, that the correct balance of these forces for your paricular being is achieved.

[sometimes_miss]

What would you wear in the perfect world, how would you behave? Would anything be different? Would we be more balanced?

For me, the clothing is simply congruent with how I self identify, which is a problem. I self identify as female, mostly because of my upbringing, so in day to day male mode, every part of my subconscious is screaming at me that I'm in the wrong clothes and should change back to who I really am right away. But my inherent feelings and behavior, how I communicate, my basic skills and abilities, and how I feel about relationships and children in particular, is stereotypically male. In an ideal world, I would be able to wear the attire that quiets the inner turmoil, but not have to deal with the ridicule, whether perceived and/or real, that comes with rocking the gender boat that society likes to keep us in.
But my behavior, whether in full drab or full femme, is the same. I don't adopt female walking patterns or mannerisms. I'm not less kind or nurturing when I'm dressed as a guy either.

In short, I'd still be 'me'; which some would call, at least a little unbalanced.

[Christina Horton]

In a perfect world, I would want to appear as a woman. It's more than just about the clothes for me, it is feeling and looking feminine.

Ditto!!!

My life would be the same , save for the fact that I would of been dressing at a very young age. I would have done what the girls did but then too I would also do what the guys did too.

[Marisa_M]

In a perfect world, I would want to appear as a woman. It's more than just about the clothes for me, it is feeling and looking feminine.

Same here. I feel like being a woman, I love it and would love to show myself just as I feel I am.

[Kimmy55]

In a perfect world I would like to appear as a womwn and be treated like one.

[TrekGirl1701]

In my perfect world...

I would be genetically female. I've recently discovered that I should have been born a girl. My feelings, instincts and my overall taste in fashion and style identify heavily with the modern female. But I grew up trying so hard to fit in with my fellow chums that it's hard to get those feelings out without seeming like a different person around the people who know me. So if I had been born a girl I'd be a completely different person out in the open, but on the inside I'd be more or less the same person I am now...minus all the anxiety, shame, guilt, etc. that I had to deal with, of course.

I'd definitely want to be more petite than my present six foot frame. Also I'd want thicker, more darker hair. But I'd keep my bright green eyes. My eyes are my most complimented feature.

[GaleWarning]

In my perfect world

People would be treated as people only, each and every one worthy of love and respect.

Talents would be nurtured, idiosynchrasies (sp?) encouraged, within the law.
Tall poppies would be neither cut down nor idolised.
The weak and the helpless would be lifted up, not down-trodden.
...

In short, the person would be considered important, not their race, gender, class, creed, financial status, style of dress, ...