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Thread: Embarrased!

  1. #1
    The Journey Begins AmberDay's Avatar
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    Embarrased!

    Here is something to make you laugh.

    A few weeks ago, I recieved a letter from my job informing me that it is time for my biyearly physical. I am a busdriver and am required to be certified by the Department of Transportation to maintain my CDL. Note that the date on my letter told me that it was to take place Thursday, July 22, 09. Also note that Thursday is actually the 23 and Wednesday is the 22.

    So I go into work today 'underdressed' (wearing black knee hi's and satin panties) like I do most days. I walk over to dispatch and ask for my schedule board, but my supervisor tells me my run has been filled because I am due to go for my physical. I tell him that it isn't until tomorrow. I had the paper in my work sack and I look at it and it says Thursday. Then I noticed the discrepancy that the day/date didn't match up. I stood there starting to sweat.

    My supervisor laughed and told me that I should enjoy a couple of hours paid to sit at a doctor's office. I normally would. He told me to jump in the van so they could take us (me and five other drivers) to the medical office; they were leaving right away. So along the way I kept thinking how I was screwed. How am I going to explain this to the nurses and doctors? When my coworkers find out it is going to spread like wildfire and I will be fired.

    Once we get there I asked to use the bathroom (so I can take off the knee his) but was told no since I have to take a drug test. Great. All the other drivers are joking and talking about dumb passengers they had lately and all I could do was tremble and think of a way to lessen the impact. Then the nurse started calling us back one at a time. I got really lucky because I was the last driver called back into the examination room. All the other drivers moved on to other parts of the office with their nurses.

    I walk in right behind her and she tells me to take off my shoes and stand on the scale. I acted like I didn't hear her and just stepped on the scale without taking my shoes off, but that didn't work. I had to take off my shoes. I briefly thought of trying to come up with some sort of story to explain why I was wearing women's knee hi's. The only thought that came to me was that it was laundry day and I was out of black socks. I realized that wouldn't work at all; especially since my toe nails were painted red. Then I thought of saying my daughter was playing around the other day painting the family's toenails and just didn't take it off yet. Then I thought of my shaved legs. Screwed

    I don't have a problem with people knowing I shave my legs; I even wear dress shorts at work and nobody ever says anything. But when you combine shaved legs with knee his with painted toes and satin panties, there is no story or reason to come up with why I was wearing them.

    So, I take off my boots and step on to the scale. The nurse just stands there and doesn't move staring at my feet. She then starts this high pitch wheezy laugh. And laughs. And laughs. And laughs. She composes herself long enough to write down my weight and then steps out of the room laughing even harder. I take this time to remove the knee his, but the damage has been done. I hear her telling another nurse what I was wearing and about my toes. An 'oh my god' and more laughter ensues. She comes back in and takes my blood pressure and pulse (which are both very high for some strange reason) and does the rest of her part of the exam (eye, ear, BAL). I am asked to put my boots back on and walk to the next room for my drug test. Lucky for me so far is that I don't see any of my coworkers anywhere.

    I walk into the next area and the women start snickering at me. I am really irritated and finally made the comment, "Like you never seen that before." (I know ER nurses have to see stuff like that all the time) And they say no, they haven't. Well I give the pee test and walk into the doctors exam room. The nurse tells me to disrobe down to my underwear and put on a gown that she hands me.

    Yeah, right. I am wearing ivory satin panties! Another thing to cause embarrasement. I go commando. I hide the panties in the pocket of my pants folded in the chair. So the doctor comes in with an already disgusted look on his face (Guess he was forwarned). Not even a 'hello' he tells me to stand and he does the cough thing, tells me to move my arms this way, that way, bend over, walk on my toes, etc. And then tells me that is all and to get dressed.

    So I get dressed and with great reluctance I check out and walk in to the waiting room expecting my coworkers to start laughing at me, but they don't say a thing, even on the way back to work. Guess they didn't know because they definitely would have been having some fun at my expense.

    So now here is where I am worried. I know that there are laws about confidentiality, but I don't know how they all apply. I don't hide myself at work. I wear pink stud earings and shave my legs. I grow out my fingernails. But I don't come out and declare I am a crossdresser at work. They have to tell my employer the results of my phsyical, but are they going to mention my crossdressing?

    There is a law in Ohio passed last year that makes firing somebody who is transgender illegal. So if the nurses tells my bus company that I crossdress they can't fire me for being trans.

    However; Ohio is an at-will employment state, which means they could let me go for any reason other than discrimnation. They could fire me because I ran one minute ahead of schedule three weeks ago or for some other BS reason.

    Yes, I am Union, but I hope I don't have to count on them since I heard some Union officers making fun of crossdressers. Also to point out that there was a busdriver in Los Angeles who was fired for being a crossdresser and that was deemed justified, "for his own protection".


    Guess I'm not wearing knee his to work anymore.

    Amber
    “But you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy.”
    ― Ellen Wittlinger,


    "we could mix all three, the two gendered and the one non-gendered, "she", "he", and "it", to make "shi...". No, nevermind, that won't work either... "
    Alimarx SDMB 2004

  2. #2
    TJ Tresa TJ Tresa's Avatar
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    Honey I don't think you have anything to worry about. they can only report the physical health issues noting else. So I wouldn't worry.
    Good luck, and please be careful.

  3. #3
    Barbara
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    What a nasty thing for the nurse(s) to do! I would think there is some lack of professionalism here as well as a lack of maintaining your confidentiality?

    I would think the job is safe as the knee highs & toes have nothing to do with your health and CDL.
    Barbara

    Let it Blossom - Let it grow

  4. #4
    Gold Member Maria in heels's Avatar
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    I hope that all goes well, and no one from that doctor's office discloses what they saw. Yes, privacy is very important, and the nurses definately acted in an unprofessional manner. I don't think that they were even nurses now...probably just technicians, which would explain why and how they acted. Yes, we all need to be careful, because the ridicule that we can experience, and its too bad that the doctor was unprofessional as well...or, if we give him the benefit of the doubt, he just is a grumpy guy with no personality. The best thing to do is watch...then, if somehow it "leaks out" about your toenails, then by all means, go after the doctor, not the nurses/techs - ultimately, it is the doctor who is responsible for his workers, and I'm sure that, with the right lawyer, you can make sure that this does not happen again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that nothing comes out of this...

  5. #5
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    I'm pretty shocked about the very unprofessional actions of the medical people there. My understanding of the CDL regs and the physical is that the only thing your employer should be told is pass/fail, not the specific results of your exam. If anything should get back to your employer or co-workers about what was seen during the physical that would be a serious violation of the HIPAA laws regarding patient privacy.

  6. #6
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    I agree with Sophia. What happened in the examination room stays there. Only factual medical information should be in your file. Any breech of this confidentiality could subject the doctor and nurses to a lawsuit. For the same reason, it's unlikely that the bus company will learn of your underdressing. I'd go back to wearing knee highs if that is what you enjoy. But you may want to think about what to wear when the next exam comes up. I had a similar incident at a doctor' office a few years ago. I had gone in for a shot (tetnus, I believe) that I thought was given in the arm. Nope. Had to drop pants and black Bali panties, so the nurse could administer the shot in the derriere. Nothing said afterwards, so I came out OK.
    Best regards,
    Lois

  7. #7
    Senior Member robyn1114's Avatar
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    Now that's just rude
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    Oh my. The problem with some doctors is they are cheapskates and will hire young, immature office staff who usually aren't real nurses because they can be paid less. Obviously the quality of care suffers. In this case, it sounds like the doctor is a jerk as well.

    The doctor and his staff can ONLY share information that is relevant to your care, and they can ONLY share it with people who need to know for legitimate reasons, such as processing your insurance paperwork (and even then they try to keep details vague and minimal) or telling another doctor continuing your care. This means the doctor's office can ONLY tell your employer whether or not you passed the physical, with no details. If they say one peep about your stockings or panties you can sue their butts off. Why do you think not one of your co-workers knew?

    I know this because I worked in billing and patient records of a psychiatrist's office years ago. Yep, you hear some interesting things. Nope, you can't say a word to anyone.

  9. #9
    CD in S.A. Kimmy55's Avatar
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    I dont think you have a thing to worry about.There are privacy laws that forbide the Medical Staff from revealing anything other than your medical condition.As far as the Union thing,if they wouldnt defend you properly there is always arbritration.But in my mind I wouldnt worry about anything.PS,I wear pantyhose and lace front panties every day.I could care less if somebody else saw me.
    Kimmy 55

  10. #10
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    I think with the HIPPA laws the only ones that have to worry are those unprofessiona' morons. Personally,I think they may have crossed that legal line when they shared that information amongst themselves,and laughed about it. I know you just want it to be forgotten(I would too ),but you almost want to call,and tell them you consulted an attorney,and they can expect to be called. Bet they wouldn't be laughing then. Sorry you had to go through that,but I doubt you'll hear anything more.

  11. #11
    Worlds Prettiest Dad!!! Jocelyn Quivers's Avatar
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    Sorry you had to experience that. The rudeness you were shown kind of reminds me when I had to get a work physical in a clinic. The staff were extrememly rude if not downright mean and hurtful in talking about how horrible my health was. Maybe for extra protection you should wear thin black socks over the knee hi's just in case the unexpected happens again.

  12. #12
    Member MissVirginia-Mae's Avatar
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    re: embarassed

    Sweetie, why didnt you go into your work bathroom and take everything off
    before you left?
    I believe you have every right to use the bathroom BEFORE you get to the doctor's office.
    Frankly, I think all drug tests should be the hair follicle ones.
    What the nurse did was TOTALLY inapproriate and to be honest, if it was my employee, she would be gone in a second.
    In this day and age, you do not laugh at someone in that setting.
    If anything comes up, you have a nice lawsuit over it.

    I have never had that problem in a doctor's office, but have been laughed at over some of my purchases at the Salvation Army, but then again, most of their staff are poorly trained and have no training in this.
    At Sears, etc, I have always been treated with respect and have never had a problem.

    Good Luck!

  13. #13
    Member LisaElizabeth's Avatar
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    Anne,
    A bit cynical aren't you? I mean.... it was the nurse/NP. PA / assistant of some sort that did the gigling and spreading of the news, not the Doctor. If you check out the larger clinics in most cities, you will find that the Doctor is now a paid employee and the staff is hired by either the local hospital or the clinic that you are in. The days of private practice are sadly limited in this future of healthcare reform.
    I do believe that a letter to the Office Manager should be written, leting them know that people outside of those that were involved in the examination were told that you were wearing hose, painted nails and silk panties. THAT IS a breach of the HIPAA rules.
    Only people that have a need to know are supposed to know anything about what goes on in the Doctor's office. HIPAA is very specific about that.
    I do believe Amber should send a letter of complaint. It will wake up the staff and should cause some retraining in privacy rules and procedures.
    I am a Doctor and my staff KNOWS that whatever happens in an exam room STAYS in the exam room or we have a very serious 'heart to heart' talk about patient privacy! Huggs,
    Lisa ELizabeth

  14. #14
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    there is nothing wrong with crossdressing. i feel you handeled things all wrong out of fear
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  15. #15
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    To say I'm shocked at how unprofessional they were would be an understatement.

  16. #16
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    Wow! I can hardly believe it. You said: "I hear her telling another nurse what I was wearing and about my toes. An 'oh my god' and more laughter ensues." That is inexcusable. Her laughing to herself ok, but telling the others when you are there and can hear, not cool, not cool at all!
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

  17. #17
    Paula Siemen Paula Siemen's Avatar
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    So as to not repeat myself...please read my posting at "investigating corssdreesing at work"

    Again....just don't do it, you put yourself and your family (if you have one) at tooooo great a finacial risk. There is being "ourselves" and then there is being stupid!!!!!

    And yes... those nurses violated your privacy and if you should loose your job, they would certainly be in my lawer's "suit sights" along with whatever medical institution, and doctor administered this physical.

    I'm just so totally tire of being jerked around by people...just because they can.

  18. #18
    Junior Member DianneW's Avatar
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    I don't know about Ohio but here in Ill. we have to sign a privacy statement with each doctor we see. Its called HIPPA. Not sure what it stands for but I thought it was somekind of a federal law which insures patient privacy. The MD & staff cannot give out any info. to anyone without your permission otherwise they can be sued. You should check on this, just in case something comes up in the future.
    just north of crook county,in the land of Lincoln(if he could see it now)

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Bethany38's Avatar
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    [SIZE=4]To say I am shocked is an understatement. That is the most rude unprofessional thing I have ever heard of. To say if it were me I would be peeved is an understatement. On the subject of them telling your employer; by law they cannot. The HIPPA law protects this. So if anything comes up own the comp. [/SIZE]
    One day your life is going to pass before your eye's, Make sure it is worth watching.

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  20. #20
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    For starters, I'd go see the doc again...

    Sorry, but I'd probably at least go back to the doctor and have a chat with him about what's going on with the ass-istants.

    Many times they don't know, and when they find out they are not happy - for all sorts of reason, some just noted. But, give them a reason to fire an ass-istant or two, and he/she may have some leverage to get rid of one or two people he/she has been "putting up with."

    The other thing I might do is to have a chat with my attorney.

    If you don't have one, check the phone book and make a cold call to chat them up. They're always looking for business... Check the big city phone books if you must and make it a long distance call. But, get some idea of where and what you can stand on.

    I'd also take this as a "heads up" and start making efforts to see where the Union would stand with you if and when you get pulled off the bus after an accident and your boot comes off...

    Forewarned is forearmed.

  21. #21
    The Journey Begins AmberDay's Avatar
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    I have spent all morning writing a letter to the doctors office, to my employer, and to my union. I done a lot of thinking and I should be allowed to be treated with respect. My wife points out that what I do does not affect my job perfomance. After sleeping on it, I realize that they wouldn't fire me for that. There are several gay and lesbian busdrivers at my company and nobody has a problem with them. But when it was happening, all I could think about is that I am fired. It is time I make a stand for myself and stop letting other people dictate how I live my life. Easier said than done, lol, but I am going to try.

    The staff has every right to feel the way they feel. In retrospect I don't have a problem with the nurse's initial reaction. BUT she should have composed herself quickly and not told the other nurses. She should have told them after I left. I talk about dumb passengers to my coworkers, but I don't do it in front of the said passenger or other passengers because that isn't professional.

    Do I want them fired, no, especially in this economy. However; I want them to treat people with respect, no matter if they agree with other person's skin color, religion, sexual orientation, and gender identity.

    Now, I should have known that this would happen someday. Not saying I was asking for it, but I should have realized that wearing stockings/panties etc, was a risk. I have been assaulted, had a knife pulled out on me (he was the one that went to the hospital), and even been shot at on my route, so it was a matter of time before something was bound to happen. And you know? So what? I am not hurting anybody.

    Sleeping on it really calmed me down, and opened my eyes. I will take a stand and keep on wearing what I want to wear. My wife is impressed that I am 'being a man' about it, lol. (which is great because she suports me being a crossdresser, but not my crossdressing)

    Two years from now I will wear the knee his on purpose.

    Maybe even thigh his.

    Amber
    “But you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy.”
    ― Ellen Wittlinger,


    "we could mix all three, the two gendered and the one non-gendered, "she", "he", and "it", to make "shi...". No, nevermind, that won't work either... "
    Alimarx SDMB 2004

  22. #22
    Individual
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    HIPAA is the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 and is a U.S. national law. These unprofessional people were not simply unprofessional, they were violating HIPAA.

    Read more and protect yourself, whether crossdressed or not:
    http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/index.html

  23. #23
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Guess the nurses missed the discretion class. As medical professionals they were way out of line and in most clinics they would be fired or at least reprimanded. How unprofessional
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  24. #24
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    It was truely bad luck to have such an unprofessional person weigh you in etc. Medical professionals have "seen it all" and usually do not react. It is highly irregular for the woman to laugh and then tell others. You might consider fileing a complaint.
    Hugs, Carole

  25. #25
    Barbara
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    CD - great way to handle the situation! We should all be so brave...
    Barbara

    Let it Blossom - Let it grow

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