As We Get Older...

[Heather Daniels]

I've read on several posts here, how the desires to dress grow stronger as we get older. I have been experiencing this for some time now. I'm in my late forties, and don't seem to be able to get my mind away from being feminine. Just a few short years ago, I could somewhat turn my femme feelings on and off at will, but that's not the case any longer. I find most of my thoughts centering on dressing now.
I'm wondering why this seems to happen to us as we get a bit older.
Does anyone else experience these feelings moreso now, than when you were younger? I also wonder why it happens?

[sarahNZ]

bacause we are subconsously trying to catch up for all the wasted years of not being our selves maybe?

[DianneW]

I'm finding the opposite to be true. Being a CD for so long & just recently retired with the wife still working, I can go full bore everyday but I don't. Just a comfy bra & panties & I'm happy. Maybe I'm getting too old or its just the summer.

[Bethany38]

I am in agreement with sarahNZ on this one just trying to play catch-up.

[Krystal Nielsdatter]

I'm not a psychologist and have no answer, but what you say is certainly true. Most likely it's a biochemical change of some kind, but maybe when we're older we've just learned more techniques and are generally better at it. We've had time to accept it in ourselves and arranged our lives in ways that make it more possible to indulge the desire. We often have a bit more savings and can afford the better "equipment" to achieve certain goals. I don't have an answer to your question, but it's fun to have a hobby.

[jasmine57]

I agree that the older I get the more I focus on dressing. I think I was a lot more active when the kids were younger and I was younger. with the kids and ex being out of the house I have much more time to devote to the "ME" things.

[Christina Horton]

Think about it this way. We did not do through the normal stages that a young girl does. Buying there first bra etc. So we never got to exspress our fem-side. When later I life (when ever you dress up fully ,or as full as you want) we get more and more "charged" and want more. You see we repress out true self for so long that we go (hole hog). When we get even older , maybe we after we have spent years dressing have gotten what we needed and (when like in our 70s plus) we don't have that hard core need anymore. I can only speek for myself , but I dress when I want to or need to. (when I am home ofcourse). So when your in the "Pink Fog" we are more like teenage girl that are clothes crazy. LOL. But later in life like the 70s range maybe (if we have dress lots) are more at peace with ourselfs. That's me worth , for what it's worth.

[Donna Marie]

I never even considered cross dressing until I was 62. But yeah, the desire seems to grow stronger over time for me too. And I think it is because I have the opportunity now. I am retired and live apart from the missus, so I can pretty much do as I wish. I'm still hung up on sharing it all openly with my neighbors, though. Some know, but I just don't have the guts (yet) to be completely out. Feels like I am moving in that direction, tho.

[Danielle Gee]

I'm finding the opposite to be true. Being a CD for so long & just recently retired with the wife still working, I can go full bore everyday but I don't. Just a comfy bra & panties & I'm happy. Maybe I'm getting too old or its just the summer.

I've been crossdressing for about 54 years now, and there has been times when the desire burned inside of me like a flame. I much more mellow now.

I underdress (in panties) almost all my waking hours at home....I normally sleep in some form of feminine nightwear......The differance is now I don't feel compelled to go "all-out" everytime I dress. Sometimes a skirt & blouse does it for me.....Bra & forms.....cute shoes.....Minimal jewellery and perhaps a spritz of perfume, and I'm good to go.

Crossdressing like most other issues in life is something a person comes to grip with over the years.

Love: Danielle

[Marisa_M]

I think it is because as we grow up w get more confidence and self esteem and at the same time we leave behind fears, doubts and guilts. We learn to accept and love ourselves just as we are and, better, to enjoy our girly life.

And being in contact with other girls like us with similar experiences also helps a lot.

[Olivia]

I imagine that like many others, I was once embarrassed by being a crossdresser. It was the biggest secret I could have when I was much younger and I could not even envision ever telling anyone about it. I dressed in secret, ever-listening for that car door closing or door opening that might mean someone was coming in. It was a furtive experience, savored in small "doses" whenever I had the time alone to enjoy.

In time, I told one other person. I confided in Jackie a couple years before we married. Still, other than her, I kept the dark secret. Eventually, I did confide in a few other friends. It went well with some, others were less approving. As Jackie and I went through my evolution as a transgendered person, of course, I became more comfortable with "our" little secret. After coming out to our kids, I felt much better. I was not ashamed or embarrassed about being cd anymore. I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong at all, as I'm sure many others here feel as well. If I didn't have to keep my job, I would not care who knew or how they felt about it. But, in our small town, there are very few secrets that get kept, and my "secret" would almost surely get me fired. I jokingly say sometimes, "if they can't get me fired, then I don't care what they say or think." But, a careless comment or a malicious "outing" could do me in.

If the time ever comes that I do not have depend on a regular job (unlikely that), then I won't give a damn what is said about me. As we get older, I believe Jackie feels the same. I have found that coming out does let you know who the true friends are. I really cherish those few too. It is kinda sad that whenever my wife and I discuss coming out to anyone else, the impact on my job is foremost in our thoughts. I hope I live long enough to see that change...
O

[ruthie801]

Heather
I posted a thread not to long ago saying the same thing, even my wife says that my fem side is more apparent. Warns me to be careful. Its very overpowering lately it almost scary.

[Jaclyn NM]

I don't know why it happens, but it is true. I used to wear some of my female clothing only occassionally, and many times only underdressed. But I retired early a year ago, and my feelings now are that I would dress everyday if I could. I don't know if I'm trying to catch up for lost time, or I f I've just realized that life is too short to deny what I am. Anyways, I'm giving in to my feelings, and dressing as often as I can, and I'm enjoying the hell out of it!

[Carol A]

I have to say I really don't know as I have openly dress since I was 14. I like most after retirement want to dress everyday 24/7 and the wife is OK up to a point as she said " I like my man around now and again" but I do underdress everyday with panties and bra.

At age 70 now the desire is always there

[il.dso]

Thank you for this post.
I think it's a very relevant and important question.
I'm 48 years old and have been crossdressing since I was very young (around 4-5 years old). I could keep the desire "somewhat" under control for many years.
Now, I have a RAGING desire to crossdress.
Like so many aspects of crossdressing, I really don't have an answer for this.
But, I'm so glad to have found this forum to learn about other cds issues and challenges.
All part of the "journey" I suppose...

[Rachel05]

For me I think it is simply because I am much more at home in my skin now I am older, I have come to terms with the fact that I love to cross dress and no longer fight it but embrace it and therefore I want to do it more, it is now about enjoying as opposed to feeling guilty and yes I want to catch up those less than good years

I am late 40's and began when I was around 8yo

[VeronikaDonahue]

I know for a fact, that as we grow older, we produce less and less testosterone, therefore leaving us with a slight chemical imbalance. If you look at the way our hair gets less coarse on our face, or the fact that most of us lose hair completely on our legs, should be an indicator. As far as the desire to be more feminine, well that is a question that only the asker can answer.

[Teri Jean]

Heather, for me being a few years older found that I was able to keep the urges kinda in check with raising the family and active in a couple organizations of interests. Now the kids are adults and I'm a widower but still involved with an organization. I found when my wife passed the eary pre-adolescent urges came back in spades. Now I'm contimplating full time with in two years.

Teri

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I agree that making up for lost time is a big part of it. Also many people, as they get older, stop caring about what others think of them; they reach a point where they go to the neighbours and do what they want to do rather than what the bigot down the roads wants them to do.

[Heather Daniels]

First of all, thank you all so much for responding. You have all given me some things to ponder. Like many of you, I started this journey many years ago. I was 8 or 9 I believe. I still remember the thrill of slipping into that first pair of pantyhose. I also remember feeling disgusted with myself for doing so. I was sure I was the ONLY person in the world with this strange quirk. Actually, still, to this day, I sometimes find myself feeling ashamed. I really don't know why I feel that way. When I was younger, I dressed mainly for the thrill of it. Nowadays, I dress simply because I feel so much more relaxed and at ease. I truely find inner peace dressing and being feminine.
I used to look at attractive women, and lust after them like any testosterone filled male would. Now, I look at the way they carry themselves, their makeup and hair styles, and of course their choice in clothes. If I see an attractive woman now....their image stays with me for hours or even days. I find myself wishing I could be them and posess their femininity and beauty. Even the smallest thing, like long dangling earrings sets my mind into femme mode.
I know this is such a huge part of who I am, that it is impossible to fight it. I was born this way and I will most likely die this way. Honestly though, I really don't want to change. Being feminine is a truely wonderful gift that I enjoy ever so much.
I suppose we will never know exactly why we do this, or why our desires grow stronger with passing years, but at least we know that we are not alone.
It is such a comforting thought, knowing that I am not alone on this journey and I thank each and every one of you for being here for each other. We really do need to be good sisters to ourselves.
Thank you so much girls...............

[Trudyann]

Yes, the desire grows stronger all the time, for all the reasons given. One more reason for me, that may or may not be true, the doctor told my that my testosterone level was low. Don't know if there is a connection or not. It would be interesting to know if it would apply to others in our same boat.

[TSchapes]

At least that what happened to me when I hit 54...

-Tracy

[dawnmarrie1961]

Heather, As young people we are taught the"the sky is the limit". We stride boldly in the streets of life ,full steam ahead, with high expectations of ourselves. We tend to suppress types of behavior that society see as undesirable in favor of the perceived norm. Time and Circumstance take its toll and soon we realize that we have limitations. We cast off the unattainable and settle for the practical and sustainable. As an we near the half century mark in our lives we tend to take a second look at where we are and what we have achieved. This sparks renewed interest in types of behavior we had once thought undesirable and suppressed. Having realized own mortality and limited timed suppressed behavior comes back with an unintended vengeance that makes it hard to concentrate on any thing else. Left unchecked and with out proper intervention the behavior quickly accelerates out of control.

[Steffie-Lee]

[SIZE="3"]I have always had feminine feelings. I'll admit it "I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A GIRL....." But 50 years ago, when I was 18, it was against the law to dress in public, and worse it was also illegal to undergo a sex change operation, or to be prescribed female hormones. So I lived as a guy, joined the military, got married to a very pretty lady, and had a couple of kids. I put my feminine feelings in the closet for over 20 years. At the age of 47, I came out, first to my wife, then to the kids. I joined a support group, just to go someplace in Femme, and to meet other men who had the same feelings. I considered then, though a bit too old physically, at age 50 to go all the way TS. I started hormones, but the side effects were more than I could handle. Still married I met a guy, and fell in love. I almost ran away with him, but was (and still am) very much in love with my wife. Since then I have had several life changing experiences, an accident left me handicapped, and now I have health concerns from too much smoking. Now that I am approaching 68, have been given less than 3 to 10 years left to live, I have come out as Steffie more than ever before. I dress at least 50% of the time, am looking for a steady boy friend again and am having the time of my life. I simply don't care anymore, what no account, strangers in passing think of when they see me. The neighbors,[ what ever their names are ] couldn't care if I was alive or dead. So off I go out again with a supportive wife, "beyond the age of embarrassment" Trying to live my life as it should have been. I have asked that when I die, I be buried as Steffie-Lee, so that the Deity (if there is one) will see my true nature, and if there is a next life, maybe SHE WILL GET IT RIGHT NEXT TIME....[/SIZE]