[SIZE="3"]Thankful I've never purged. Who be kicking myself if I did.
Gennee[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Thankful I've never purged. Who be kicking myself if I did.
Gennee[/SIZE]
I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never!
"Don't let anyone define who you are".
OH,the purging... Well, you know when I started to dress, I began slowly. At first I would buy only lingerie An article here, a panty there. I would wear them for awhile and then throw the aricle away. I figure the article served it's purpose and I wanted to have nothing to do with crossdressing when the mood faded.
As time went on, the desires grew, came with more frequencies and stayed longer. So if you look at major purges, I would say, I purged twice in the last ten years. When I did it, I felt great, a load, a secret, this "thing" off my shoulders. I could breathe. Yeah, breathe only to inhale the desire back in my soul. So, the desire would comback.
My last cycle has lasted for three years now and hopefully with the help of my sisters here, purging will be a thing of the past.
Cassie
if i do purge my wife say she get frist choce of my outfits. some time you have to purge the old out that you dont uss anymore
I purged a couple of times, usually when I moved and thought, new house, new habits, lots of changes. The only thing that changed was the balance on my VISA a few months later when I went back out and bought everything I had just thrown out. Now I just take advantage of my wife's "purging" and have a great collection of her items.
I think about purging constantly but I know if i did i would regret it.
I think of clothes purging in the same context of reducing what i have. some of my older and original CD items i dont wear and dislike and would be rid of them.
♫I cant stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train. Its not easy to be me.♫
I've purged once in my life when I graduated college. I was young and idealistic and I thought I'd start new and free from all my old vices. The urge hit a month later and I figured it's a part of who I am. I'm not too heartbroken over it, though. It was a lot of ill fitting clothes and underwear anyways. Just stuff that I collected when I was too chicken to do real shopping and try stuff on.
I've purged 3 times
in my 20's when I thought I was sick and needed to forget this
in my 30's when the wife didn't know
in my 50's after the wife knew, and was ok with it and bought me clothes, but I thought it was my way of copeing with a rotten marraige
in my 55's wore the girlfriends stuff when she wasn't around, wore it once to haloween with her, I felt so sexy and enjoyed it so much when the drunk guys felt me up as a joke. Never told her I was cd, but after she left, the next girl saw the haloween pics and left abruptly.
I'm married now and have found this place. But don't have a stash or wear hers. Size difference or I probably would.
Still sorting out my thoughts on this, if theres another divorce, will definatly pursue this , maybe meet a couple cd's in my area, and at least experience it enough to decide which way I am, and not just my erotic thoughts.
Really enjoy being here. Wish I'd had a place like this in my 20's
Probably more 'little' purges than I can remember, but then again, I never really had much of a female wardrobe when I was younger. Usually, only a couple panties, maybe a bra or two, one slip, and maybe a dress and/or skirt top combo. But even then it was really depressing afterward, because I knew how difficult it would be to replace it because of my size. Hell, I can't even find a lot of mens clothing that I want because of it.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Purged completely = maybe three to four times.. everytime I purged I thought it would be the last time.. finally when I started to buy my own clothes I would do reasonable purgings.. such as clothes that are out of the ability to be worn and so to this day I still try to only do this..
This is what I mean by "every guy can look like a girl from the right angles".. this is one of the first pictures of me dressed up.. very vague look.. almost fem...
I did once and felt pretty good about it. Then, a little while later, I realized that that was kind of a silly thing to do.
I've purged about maybe 4 times, every time i was sick to my stomach about what i had lost. Last time was in 07. I did so then because i had meet a woman on line from a dating service and she ask me to move in with her, she is in Texas and I in NC. I was sure this was my cure, though i really hated to get rid of my dresses baby dolls and other things i did so because i wanted to prove to myself i am a man. It failed the relationship and my "proving to myself i am a man" the thought still sickens me. i will never purge again. lesson learned. I had pastors and counselors telling me how wrong i was for being me. they have placed a sour taste in my mouth for Church and religion. Really i should have not listened to them. never again. i don't much care if i never have another relationship i have to be me if i am not i am very sad to the point of depression. never again
I have purged many times and I believe (hope) those days are over.The last time I purged (6 months ago)I felt as though I would go mad and quickly retrieved the clothes and now have started to build up a nice selection of clothes that I feel suit my age,style and are comfie.I have decided that purging is silly,a waste of money and time and I just really dont want to do it anymore!
Looking forward to mixing and matching ,colours and styles and experimenting with my feminine side.
Pattie
I've never really outright purged, as I can't imagine trying to fight who I am. The closest I've probably come to purging was when I moved to Dallas from where I used to live. I used the excuse to clean out my closet a bit. I got rid of some stuff that was horribly out of fashion. I also got ride of some of the ugly and cheap clothes I had acquired growing up because that was all my limited resources could get me at the time. Pretty much everything I threw out deserved it. The only thing I regret throwing out were a pair of thigh high spiked heel boots I got for free with a Fredericks order once. At the time I know my thinking was, "god these are such hooker boots, I'll never wear them in a million years." But now I think to myself, every now and then there's nothing wrong with getting a little ****ted up for fun, and kind of wish I had them.
I have purged a number of times and it is something that I now contemplate from time to time. I struggle with guilt and self-acceptance - just when I think I have accepted myself I slip back into fear and guilt. This drove my purges - the idea that I could stop.
At first after the purge I felt great! More positive than I had in a very long time. I felt so positive - the secrecy and fear was gone and I was happy. This lasted for six weeks after the first purge. I then found my thoughts wandering frequently and I began to feel increasingly frustrated and anxious. I realised that I had tried to escape from part of myself and it caught up with me. This was cured by starting dressing again and tryimng to accept myself.
The positive feelings felt after a purge shortened each successive time and after each purge I felt ill because part of me knew I shouldn't have done it. The fact that I still feel the need to purge does worry me but it is a symtom of my struggle for self-acceptance I believe.
Now I remind myself:
- How I felt after previous purges
- That I truly missed some of the items I disposed of and that I will really miss what I have now
- That I have spent alot of money on what I have and to purge would be to waste it (unless the no longer fit (losing weight at last) or they are damaged/worn out)
I truly wish I listened to many of you wise ladies on this forum before I purged because although part ofme wants to deny it - purging is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.
“A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.”
― William Blake, Auguries of Innocence
I never have purged but have stopped for 6 months
No purging for me either!! Thats one of the advantages of being a fetish cd, as I have very little stuff in the first place!!! I do have one old petticoat thats a nice shade of grey that I should throw out, but I can"t bring myself to do it!!!
I only purged once and that was when I got orders for Vietnam. I didn't like the idea of anyone eventually finding my stuff and figuring out what I had been up to in case something happened to me over there. I had some really neat things. When I came home I went to the place in the woods where I had left every thing and everything was gone.
I don't know how many times I have purged, but luckily I have only had maybe 10 items or less. Every time I purged it was because I didn't want to get caught.
Now I don't have to purge since my supportive wife knows and my skirts and blouses are hung up in my wife's closet and one of my drawers have all of the rest of my pretties.
Penelope
Twice. Well, that was a stupid thing I just did.
After the second time, and more reading on the subject, I know this was not going to go away, so I set out to enjoy it as much as I could, which has been a slow road but has been picking up speed around when I turned 35 yrs young.
I no longer purge......I just replace (or add)
Sarah[SIZE="3"][/SIZE]
"Sport is for men.......But Ballet is for women" ---- George Balenchine
I have lost count. However, I haven't purged for about 6 years. I know realise what a waste of money it is. When I have a downer I bung my stuff into bin bags and store in the loft. It never stays there fore more than a few weeks before it comes back down, get ironed and put away properly.
Hmm, a lot, ashamed, and crappy. Now that this site has made me brave enough to just go out and buy all that I need however, I will never purge again. There's too much money involved this summer in starting over from scratch with everything being entirely my own.
For years I hoped I was just a CDer but now I realize I am transgender and that's alright.
I have had my share of purging over the past 12 years. Maybe 4 times, I too got rid of a lot of nice expensive clothes, outfits, shoes, wigs, accessories.......well, you know what I mean, everything - about $6k worth. My last purge was about 3 years ago and did not take me long - maybe 6 weeks before I started buying clothing again. I know I will do it again, especially during sensitive times, like right now while my wife is grieving over the recent death of her brother - so for that I keep things hidden out of sight and locked up because I know I will submit to guilt and fear - that's just me....I don't like it but I'm sure I will get my strength back someday and learn to be deal with it.
Purged once and regretted it . After you do it once, you'll figure out that it won't go away so just put your clothes somewhere safe cause you'll be looking for them again.
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