Why Do We Crossdress?

[Jenny]

Hi Everyone,

Being a member of this forum causes me to think a lot about my dressing and to ask a lot of questions about it so I can perhaps understand myself better. I suppose the most basic question of all and one which is mentioned in several other threads is why do we dress in clothes of the opposite sex. There are probably as many answers to that question as there are members of this forum. After thinking about it a while, I think there are several reasons why I like to dress in girl's clothes.

1. I like the way women look in their clothes and want to look like them. I am so envious of the way a young woman can walk down the street in either a flowing skirt or tight jeans and look absolutely gorgeous.

2. I like the variety of women's clothes: colors, materials, styles. Men's clothes are boring -- shirts and pants, browns and blues, yuck!!! Women have so many more choices: jeans or capris or shorts, long or short skirts, blouses or tee-tops. The list goes on and on.

3. I like the way women's clothes feel. They seem softer. On the other hand, they sometimes seem more restrictive which I also like. Like the way my bra feels tight around my chest or the way my low-rise jeans cup my bottom and legs.

4. I feel slightly naughty and sexy when I am wearing girl's clothes in public. It's like I have this big secret and no one else knows about it.

5. It sometimes helps me relieve stress. I notice that I dress more completely and more often when I am a little stressed out.

There are two reasons I don't include on my list. First is that I feel like I am a girl. While I admit to some confusion over my sexual identity, I don't feel deep in my heart that I should have been born a girl. There are lots of things about being a guy that I do like. Second is as a way to sexual release. I truly don't dress with the idea of masturbating. I dress because in many ways, I just feel better, more natural, in girl's clothes.

Those are my answers to the question: why do we dress? I would like to hear other members' reactions or reasons.

[Jennifer_Ph]

It took me a long time to come up with why. For me, it's about two people, Jennifer and Mike. Mike is rough and tough - he builds and races off road trucks, can fix anything, likes being dirty and working with his hands. He's also feminine somewhat - likes to go to the theater, loves to cook, etc.

Jennifer is someone that I can be to honestly express my feminine side. There is so much man going on when Mike's around that my femininity gets bottled up, so to speak. When I am Jennifer I can truly relax. I become more comfortable - I mean really, what is more comfortable a skirt or jeans? I get to be someone I'm not for a period of time. I get to be cute, fun, frilly, sexy, colorful. Crossdressing for me isn't about being straight or gay - I'm straight - it's about releasing the inner femininity that is inside me. Jennifer is an extension of who I am, without her I am only partially me.

Women (GG) can express masculinity whenever they want - jeans and a t-shirt and hair tucked into a baseball cap is just fine. A man tries to let out a little femininity and the world goes nuts. Understand that your boyfriend is only expressing a part of him - and it's a part of him that makes him the guy you love. A macho dude that represses all his femininity is not someone that is as sensative to the world as someone who is honest with themselves about who they are.

My experience is that CD's are some of the greatest guys AND girls you'd ever want to meet. We're aware of our feelings. Aware of others feelings. We can laugh with you when you say your hose are creeping south and that your heels are killing you.

Men are supposed to be men. And Mike is. Jennifer is a part of Mike - the part that makes him a sensative and caring person and lover. Being in love with a CD is a bonus, not a minus. Instead of repressing who he is, he's expressing it - and that is not something that a "normal" man has the balls to do.

For those of you paying attention, it is a repeat of this thread.

[Jenny]

Sorry, Jennifer, I didn't mean to duplicate another thread. I hadn't read that one very closely, I guess, figuring from its title that it was about having a relationship with a dresser not why people dress in the first place. Maybe other people thought the same and didn't respond to it. There are so many threads and so many of them do touch on similar themes that it is hard to keep up with them all. I didn't mean to not pay attention.

[ChristineRenee]

Hi Jenny,

Why do I crossdress? Well...I think initially it was born out of curiosity and maybe the feeling of doing something just a little bit naughty. Then, it was largely for sexual gratification. As I got older, I think it became an emotional release...a way to unwind and relieve stress and the day-to-day pressures that men face in the working world.

There had always been a certain amount of guilt that went with this as well. Plus the feelings both that I was being somewhat less of man because of it, and that maybe I was supposed to have been born a girl but nature got it's "wires crossed." My personal experience Jenny is that I have never, ever, in my life felt like a natural male sexually. I have always felt female sexually...internally. When I am dressed I am literally a male lesbian. When I am male I am straight. I have never had any sexual interest in men whatsoever. This is not to say that I wouldn't enjoy having my lady don a strap-on and make me take it "like a woman" on occasion. Unfortunately, it could be quite awhile, if ever, before that little fantasy ever becomes a reality.

Now, I am on hormone therapy. I can honestly say that I never thought I would get to this point even, and frankly it is a scary path to be going down. SRS, however, is not even a consideration for me and let me count the ways, and reasons why not for you (not necessarily in any order of importance either, mind you): It would mean virtually the end of both my marriage and any relationship with my family and friends. I would be totally isolated and on my own with no real support from anyone who previously knew me as only male.
I'm too old at this point. Very scary to contemplate that if I were 30 years younger or more, this would actually be an option I would, at the very least, look into. At almost 53, with a year to go to retirement and a loving wife looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together, this becomes not only an impracticality, but a course of action that would be SO self-involved and selfish that it would absolutely end the marriage instantly. And perhaps the biggest reason of all is that I just don't feel about myself in the same regard as a true transsexual does. I don't HATE my penis...it is what it is and has no massive ego problem as a foundation behind it. I don't feel either that I definitely was born in the wrong body per se. Other than my feeling sexually female, I don't feel that I think overall like a woman or have the same genetic qualities that many women have. I'm not a nurturer at all, and I really don't have a problem with low self-esteem like many GG's seem to have at one time or another. I just know I am not a transsexual. I am, however, transgendered, and do have a desire to reshape my external body to bring it a little more in line with how I feel internally.

So anyway then...it started for me with adolescent curiosity and sexual gratification, leading to relief of stress and emotional anxieties, to the realization that you have a very strong feminine personna that must be expressed outwardly, and then finally deciding to "customize", somewhat, the external chassis to bring it more in tune with the internal combustion engine.

And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!


Peace...Love...& Harmony,

Christine

[Tristen Cox]

Hi Jenny,

I share the same reasons as you stated and also do not dress for sexual release. May I add that plainly, I am not homosexual. Thought about that alot, but still curious with other CDs. I dress in womens' clothing for inner release. Seems all my life while living as a man I've always had to hide my feelings in light of the harder manly side that must be shown. I'm in love with women, everything about them, and want to be, do and look like one in every way. It's like a switch for me when I can be her. You're so right about the variety of things that women have vs men. What a big menu we get as a guy. As a woman, anything goes and if they don't make it they'll create it for you! I wait so long sometimes thinking about dressing up and doing my face that, like you have, I swap through several outfits in a day just feeling great about it. (Keeps my stress level down so I don't kill anyone! LoL!) There's no reason for me to have been born the opposite sex but I would have rather had the option. Now I'm stuck unless I spend lots o' money or find a golden lantern in which to rub and get my wish. Crossdressing lets me be that side that has grown from my female half inside. Externalized she is of a sweet but naughty nature. Quite literally she is eight years younger than me, being her first appearance was when I was eight. So she feels younger and sexier and dresses accordingly. Geez... wish she could wear a bra to work like you Jenny. That's jealousy in a good way.
...just a girl on the inside

[Jennifer_Ph]

I didn't mean to not pay attention.

I didn't mean that at all. I think this is a great thread. As you said, the other thread really wasn't about why we do it. I think this is great, and was happy to re-post. You're always coming up with great ideas for threads, keep it up girl!

[Miss Vicki]

Why? I am not sure. When I was very young it was because I was close to my Mother and Sisters, not my Father or Brother. I guess for me it gave me a feeling of something different in my life, something that I "wanted to do". At a young age I enjoyed being in clothing for the thrill of the feel, looks, and the satisfaction that it would bring.
In my teens, I did not dress that often as I was trying to find my identity with being a male. In my 20's, I wanted to become a female, however, it was a very unheard of operation back then.
In my 30's and early 40's, I would surpress my desire by buying lingerie and sexy apparrel for my wife. I still received the thrill of going out and making the purchase for her, although, I would rather be wearing the clothes myself.
I always thought that if she would wear these clothes that the feeling inside of me to cross dress would be channeled towards her body and also, that my 'need' would go away. However, most of the items that I purchased for her are still in the bottom of her drawer with the tags still on them. Thus leaving that part of my life unfullfilled. So, I still dress up when I have the chance, mainly for the comfort and the satisfaction that I receive,
Now that I have turned 50, I am happy that I can dress up, or not when I desire. It seems like it has become an island in a sea of being masculine that gives me a release from my male identity.

Finally, everyone is different and they do it for different reasons. I am glad that ther is a place, HERE, that I can open up my inner feelings. Maybe they are accepted and maybe not. But the main thing is that, at least here, I do not deal with the bashing, that happens at other sites.

Thanks for reading.

Miss Vicki

[Rachel_740]

Hi Girls,

I think the easiest way for my to answer why is to simply ammend Jenny's reasons a little, as mine are very similar. Aren't I lazy .

1. I like the way women look in their clothes and want to look like them. I am so envious of the way a young woman can walk down the street in a flowing skirt with it blowing in the wind.

2. I like the variety of women's clothes: colors, materials, styles. Men's clothes are boring -- shirts and pants, browns and blues, yuck!!! Women have so many more choices: jeans or capris or shorts (although I'm not so keen on pants), long or short skirts, blouses or tee-tops. The list goes on and on.

3. I like the way women's clothes feel.

4. It helps me relieve stress. When I am dressed I am loads more chilled.

5. I dress because I just feel better, more comfortable in girl's clothes.

That was a really lazy way to do a posting, but I'm shattered after a long and stressful week (11 days - so far) at work. Glad tomorrow is the last one!! Have a break for a couple of days.

[Jenny]

I'm not sure, Rachel. We will have to go to the judges on whether you can just amend someone else's answer. The judges are checking the rule book. And yes, they say it is acceptable to just change someone else's answer so long as you have the 11 day!!!! work-week excuse.

BTW: The judges also say: "enjoy your time off."

[Rachel_740]

Hi Jenny,

LOL. Can you thank the judges for permitting me to be so lazy .

Hugs & kisses,

Rach

[HillaryArtemis]

I was always very physically fit and took care of my body becuase I knew one day I would crossdress more completely as I do it all I take care of my skin ... I look years younger and feel great. Frankly speaking ... the men in my family never even took care of their bodies let alone their skin ... I was repulsed by this and claimed I would always do so. beinbg a CD helps me take care of myself ... I look well and beautiful at the same time and I feel awesome. I just wish I had a machine that could change my organs from male to female and back ... I could never be a transexual ... I would miss so much being a man ... and I would have to listen to some men controlling conversations all the time ... blah, blah, blah. I think I am sounding a little like a male basher ... but sometimes I get fed up with masculine silence codes and pecky (or pecker) order .... and all that.


I agree with other reasons posted, but I just wanted to add a different one.


JodiArtemis

[LacyPJs]

It just feels good... I don't want to pass or even go out in public, I don't want to imitate a woman... I just like the feel of various types of women's clothes. For the most part, they are light, smooth, soft. I find the experience relaxing & a real stress reliever.

I like the feel of nylon material, "swishy" skirts, tights & pantyhose as well as different kinds of sleepwear. Perhaps that makes dressing for me more of a fetish, but I've never been concerned with labels.

[Stelli]

Let me try with this one: I dress because this helps me to determine if I have to loose some weight or I have managed to loose some weight I have etalon skirt that I havent been able to wear for several years... if I reach it I will tell you I am dying to be able to wear that one again. Dressing helps me control my weight! So far for me this is quite valuable reason to dress If I do not dress I do reach for food and that is not something you do if you wish to have weight under control....

Otherwise it feels either good, or appropriate, or proper, or nice, or relaxing, or content, or protected, or gives me feelings that I would not be otherwise able to call upon, or simply I am up to discover another part of my inner self, or because I am turned on by it (sexually) or feeling sexy, finally I do it because I want to liberate in any possible way as long as it is possible something I carry with myself all my life and that is another person that was faithful, caring, loving and good friend to me - my femme self. All these reasons are purely selfish. But, I find it not fair to keep some parts of ourselves not expressed enough for our own feeling of well being and completeness.

Recently I discovered that my dressing can make some value not only to me but to my close friends. Thus I am trying to redefine that I do it only for selfish reasons. I am coming to conclusion that is not fair, either, to keep some parts of ourselves away from people that we care for.

Not for weak hearted: One more reason which I also figured out recently, is that I have much more skirts and dresses than trousers: by sheer statistics and probability of about 3 to 1 I would reach skirt rather than trousers if I put my hand in the drawer and pick a random piece of clothes without watching. As for the panties chances are likely 10 to 1 that they would be a girls ones. I do not know how long it will be before I start wearing bra on a regular basis (possibly when I have enough of them for everyday use) but I do often feel that I need it when I am in phase.

[PaulaJeanette]

Can it be that through the years, we've become addicted to that one or two or a combination of certain physiological chemicals that get secreted into our bloodstream whenever we crossdress?

I ask this because whenever I crossdress there is a certain sense or feeling of euphoria that comes over me. I can't explain it but I only experience or feel it when I put on my feminine clothes. Yes, there is also the wonderful feeling of having smooth, silky, cool lingerie next to my skin. Yes, many of us can feel a sense of relaxation and comfort when we're dressed. And, yes, our common experience and thoughts are that we're more in touch with our feminine side.

But I still wonder and don't fully understand why I crossdress. It is easy for me to say I just like to do it, but that's too simplistic. As I sit here reading and writing this response, I'm dressed and feel terrific, I'm relaxed and very comfortable, and I feel very sexy. My heart is racing a bit and I'm enjoying the high that I can only attribute to crossdressing. My brain is telling me this is what I should do.

So, are we addicts? What are your thoughts?

Paula J.

[vicky]

hi Jenny,
it is a GREAT question, one that i have been asking myself for years also, i think your reasons 3,4 and 5 are closest to my reasons.

3. I like the way women's clothes feel. They seem softer. On the other hand, they sometimes seem more restrictive which I also like. Like the way my bra feels tight around my chest or the way my low-rise jeans cup my bottom and legs.

4. I feel slightly naughty and sexy when I am wearing girl's clothes in public. It's like I have this big secret and no one else knows about it.

5. It sometimes helps me relieve stress. I notice that I dress more completely and more often when I am a little stressed out.

you say that you don't include that it makes you 'feel like a girl' in your list.. but i definately would include it in mine. unlike you i suppose, i feel that i SHOULD have been born a girl and dressing does sometimes help me overcome the bad feelings or frustration i sometimes feel about being born in this horid ugly body.

but i suppose the most important reason that i dress like a girl is because i ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT !! the way it makes me feel inside and about myself, the feel of my clothes on me... (e.g., the feel of a nice flowing skirt, or a tight skirt, or my bra like you commented). whatever the psychology, it just makes me feel better about myself .

love
vicky
xx

[Jenny]

Hillary and Stelli,

You bring up a very good point about body image and keeping in shape. Like you too, my dressing requires that I keep in shape. I wear a lot of junior size and style clothes and they look much better on me if I stay trim. I also have so much invested in my girl clothes that if I don't stay at my same weight, I will have to replace my entire dressing wardrobe

So in a way, my dressing is contributing to my overall healthy body image. I just knew there were good reasons for dressing.

Paula,

You also bring up a very good point. I think sexual feelings are a very strong conditioning element. Sex is fun and enjoyable, both physically and psychologically. (Duh!!!) If you get a sexual charge or release from an activity, you will be inclined to want to do that activity again. Maybe by dressing and getting some sort of sexual charge, we are conditioning (addicting) ourselves to dressing. A point well worth considering.

[windycissy]

Wow, I learned a lot from reading this, and I think I can add a few theories of my own that may help explain things.

We all know that dressing feels great - they say the skin is the most sensitive organ, and my whole body shivers everytime I put on something silky. The fact that we can get aroused and even climax from the sensation gives us an edge over real girls. After all, for them putting on a dress and heels is an everyday chore.

Here's another theory of mine: crossdressers are by nature adventurous risktakers - definitely male traits. Ever wonder how many guys fantasize about what it must be like to look and feel like a girl but never have the balls to do anything about it? No matter how many times I do it, even though I know I'm passable, it takes real courage to open that door and step into the world as Windy.

Fortune favors the brave! Ask Windy

[kay_cd]

Jenn,
Must say that i spent a few years in big sky country and still have attachments there.

I don't know the real reason why I am a cd. I have been this way for as long as i can remember. It seems to be just a part of who i am now and that is ok. I think the point that has been made about de-stressing fits me well. I do wear panties at least 24/7 and have never been much into the full dress mode. I do try to keep in shape because I do not want an old 12 pack body! Can still wear size 6 panties and juniors shorts at 45 years old. I am tall but have a light bone structure which makes me think I was allways built a bit fem as well as the fact that I was the last in a family of five kids and I have read many articles about sexuality geting a bit screwed up as women get older and have more kids. Hey I am who I am and can not change it. ( I have tried many times!)
Want to set a tee time? HA! ( yes I am a golfer. )
Kisses, Kay

[Stelli]

I wish to add that I often feel that I am actually crossdressing into male clothes for example for the purpose of going to work

But I also cross dress into female clothes for the above mentioned reasons (prev message).

Brain teaser: The amusing question for me was always: What is the reference point of my crossdressing if I do crossdress to both genders ?

[NewShy21NJmtf]

I agree with Jenny's reasons and add a little of my own.

1. I like the way women look in their clothes and want to look like them. I am so envious of the way a young woman can walk down the street in either a flowing skirt or tight jeans and look absolutely gorgeous.

2. I like the variety of women's clothes: colors, materials, styles. Men's clothes are boring -- shirts and pants, browns and blues, yuck!!! Women have so many more choices: jeans or capris or shorts, long or short skirts, blouses or tee-tops. The list goes on and on.

3. I like the way women's clothes feel. They seem softer. On the other hand, they sometimes seem more restrictive which I also like. Like the way my bra feels tight around my chest or the way my low-rise jeans cup my bottom and legs.

4. I feel slightly naughty and sexy when I am wearing girl's clothes in public. It's like I have this big secret and no one else knows about it.

5. It sometimes helps me relieve stress. I notice that I dress more completely and more often when I am a little stressed out.

Number 1 is definetly the biggest one for me right now. I want nothing more than to be coveted the way that I covet girls. Like Jenny I am not a transexual. I like being a guy most of the time. In a perfect world, I would have a magic wand that I could use to change back and forth between being a hot girl and being a hunky guy. Unfortunately I am neither, but with hard work, I will come closer to both. Also, unlike Jenny, it is a sexual thrill for me. It has been since I was 12. I love girls, and I want to be with them, and occasionally be one of them.

Stephanie

[sc_panties]

I haven't entirely decided why I like to wear panties. Because it's taboo? Maybe. I do know that it makes me feel sexier, more sensual than otherwise.

The other posts in this thread hit on a lot of valid points and ideas that I agree with, so I won't bother repeating them.

Just my $0.02.

[samantha78]

I dress cause of the calm feeling that it gives me!

[Marda]

Hi Girls,
Interesting thread for a new kid on the block
Aren't we like ducks ? Isn't this all about "imprinting"
As the saying goes ... "If it walks like a CD, and dresses like a CD ... "Aw, Just Kidding" ...
But lots of great replies here ... I'm not out, but I'm fulltime at home, and I wear undies (bra whenever possible) under drabs ... why? Because I'm Androgynous and dressing in girls clothes is what feels normal ... it's been that way for a long time ... and before I made the switch, I always felt "empty".
Thanx for lettin' me in here.
Love / Marda

[Victoria Pink]

I have wondered about this a lot myself. Started out it was the enjoyment of wearing panties, but as I grow older I find that i want to dress more and more. I wear panties now sometimes 24/7. Thought this would go away as I got older (now 51) but it hasn't. Rather it has gone the other way.

Anyone have any insights on this?

Victoria

[Marda]

Hi Girls,
Jenny(GreatAvatar), Christine58V8, Tristen, MissVicki, KayCD, Stelli ... all of your replies have meaning to me

Fortunately, for us there is *no* rule book (other than the one which at birth *said* we were "boys") ... we *choose* to dress in a (female) way which *allows* us to "feel" *right*

As I've discussed in another forum where there are "wives" in the conversation, when you dig below the surface, it's difficult to "define" feminine "feelings" ... or *any* feelings for that matter

I've worked (as many of you) in totally male "dominated" environments and been discriminated against because I wasn't "one of the boys" ... and I've managed Ladies Clothing Stores and been discriminated against because I wasn't "one of the girls" ...

Until I (recently) became aware and enlightened about "who" I really *am* , I carried a lot of guilt ... now I *feel* very fortunate to have this special "gift" ...

Who knows ... maybe in 20 years "boys" will have more open choices about their "true nature" ...

... those who like to "look at" a woman and grunt and fart and spit and make ridiculous comments about "what they'd do to "make *her* dreams come true" can feel free to have beer gutts and hairy bodies

... and those of us who "see" a woman and admire her walk, and her form and her "look" and relate to the more tangible aspects of feminity (bras, panties, nylons, skirts, blouses, dresses, hair styles etc) will have clothing that fits and feels to us "as it should"

At the other forum I answered the question "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" saying basically ...
1) Marda, small boobs, nice eyes, needs more sleep & exercise ...
2) Mr.Spaceman ... my personal spaceship that gets me around looking like a guy

Anyways, I don't know if this is "off topic"? I *think* I'm on topic ... "Why do I dress in girls clothing?" ... "Do I have any insights on this matter?" ...

Yup ... because I'm Marda :-) The "guy" people "see" and who gets beat on for "me" *being* "myself" ... is Mr.Spaceman :-)

Poor Mr.Spacemen !!! Lucky Marda !!!

Love / Marda