We start early
I was first was interested in Emme at age 4 or 5.
Today I had a little 4 YO guy in the dental office for a checkup.
All good kids get a sticker.
I showed him SPIDER MAN, MICKY MOUSE ETC.
WHAT DID HE WANT???....A PRINCESS....(YES!).....!
I gave him the princess and his mom was worried ...."what wil your daddy say" I explained to mom alllove: was going to be OK.
Then I gave him a "Smile" sticker. Told him to tell his dad the princess was for him!
If you feel the need to explain yourself. Smile and Educate. Be proud of who you are!
."ALWAYS, SIT, SPIN, AND TUCK ONE FOOT BEHIND THE OTHER....NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS"
Emme as in "M"
I just wonder, so do bad kids not get one?
And who among us wouldn't have chosen the princess sticker? I mean isn't it normal? Hey even at 34 I would rather have a princess one than a dumb ol spider man.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
Spiderman for me any day of the week.
Still a nice story.
Emme,
It is not uncommon for a four year old to choice a "princess" sticker or even play with Barbie dolls. He hasn't been programmed by society and environment to think anything of it. The response that he got from his mother tells me that it is in the process. So long as he responds favorably to the conditioning he should be ok. Problems only occur if the conditioning creates a reaction that contradicts it. This can setup an internal conflict and a behavior will result. If corrective methods are used the new behavior will diminish. If not, this person will be logging on to this site ,in about 10 yrs or more, looking for answers.
Be safe. Be smart.
Dawn Marrie
CANCER IS A BITCH SO YOU HAVE TO BE MORE OF A BITCH TO BEAT IT.
Everytime I go to the dentist they give me a toothbrush at the end, but never the pink one.
speaking of starting young, the other day while i was working (i work in a restarant) me and my employees saw this lil kid (wasnt sue boy-or girl) but they were wearing a nice lil skirt and top and girly shoes. my 1st impression was that it was a boy in girls clothes and i just thought back to me and wondered how nice it would have been to be able to go out in skirts at such a young age.
meanwhile i kept hearing my co workers giggling and really trying to determine if it was a boy or girl.
I started dressing at around 3 or 4.
Awesome story. I want a princess sticker, too!
Of course, as a kid, I would have been "corrected" for choosing such a sticker, by either my mother or father. "That's a girl sticker, don't you want one for a boy?" That's about what they would have told me, making me feel sufficiently wrong and embarrassed about my initial choice and then get whatever they thought I should get.
[SIZE="3"]Tired of all the lies and misconceptions about crossdressing?
Separate fact from fiction and learn the truth.[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIZE="1"]My wife loves ALL of me, not just my man-side. Will you?[/SIZE]
My informative and fun website | flickr photos | YouTube videos.
Things to consider when preparing to come out to your wife.
The unique story about coming out to my wife.
Meet the official Babes of myCDlife
I remember going to the barber when I was around four or five years old. They had a gumball machine that had trinklets mixed in with the gum. One visit, I got a small plastic lipstick. The barber laughed, but I remember that I didn't mind getting that instead of another trinklet or gum.
I had forgotten all about this until I read this thread. This place is bringing up all sorts of forgotten memories.
Originally Posted by dawnmarrie1961
That is, if the child were a mere rat in a Skinner Box, and not a human being with a huge, complex brain, and a psyche that works on many more intertwined levels....
No offense, but you keep posting a lot of long, fancy-sounding rants that just keep describing the same, extremely delimited and pessimistic way of thinking.
There's a shorthand that we commoners use for the exact same ideas without wearing out our keyboards.
"Behavior developed to create a pleasurable mental response, etc, etc..."
You repeat this idea a lot. It sounds super-impressive.
You do realize that's the very textbook definition of the word "FUN," don't you?
Why not just say "FUN?" Why do you scorn the word FUN as if it were mere delusion, yet keep using its literal definition, as if you finally found the bad way of speaking it? Are you having a joke on us?
Most of the points you keep making in gloomy psychobabble to scare people can also be said in regular English without losing a shred of meaning.
pleasure inducing behavior = FUN, or FUN ACTIVITY
validation leading to dramatic increase = SCENE
identity with behavior = FUN LOVING
dramatic, obsessive increase in behavior = TOO MUCH FUN
emotional turmoil over excessive behavior = GUILT, SHAME
Yes indeed, if you have too much fun, and if you are guilty of putting your fun above others' needs, you will always have problems with those others and your relationships will suffer. Shame on you.
But it works the same exact way with ANY 'behavior' (activity) people do for FUN. Yes, having fun is addictive. Not only cross-dressing "behavior," but anything FUN under the sun will lead to wanting to do more of it. Yes, there is such a thing as having too much fun to the point where you devote your life to it.
And yes, many many marriages have ended tragically because the husband put his 'fun' above the needs of the marriage.
He's out at the bar drinking with the guys and never comes home, all he cares about is golf more than his wife, all he likes to do is cross-dress, and damn his golfing/drinking/crossdressing buddies for validating his behavior like that, and making him do it more. They sure dragged him right away from his wife by validating his behavior.
Saying long impressive words won't cover it up.
(Btw, the point that there are people who don't like the "behavior" is moot. I can't be around people drunk in bars, and I really HATE the way people dress on a golf course, with their silly hats and dopey cardigans. What do they think they're doing?
Is my not liking it supposed to curb their "pleasure-inducing behavior" in the least?)
Now, if you want to know why people find cross-dressing fun, that's a whole different issue. For that, I'd suggest clawing yourself out of the "Skinner Coffin" first, breathing the free air a bit, and then reading some Jung instead.
But for all this talk of "conditioning and response", please don't look at yourself or other humans as "rats," or that's exactly how you'll feel.
And so we go, on with our lives...
We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?
I'd pick the Spiderman one. If you're in trouble, you're beneath the Princess' radar. But if you're ever attacked by the Hobgoblin, your friendly neighborhood spiderman is there to help you, indeed.
Wen4CD,That is, if the child were a mere rat in a Skinner Box, and not a human being with a huge, complex brain, and a psyche that works on many more intertwined levels....
No offense, but you keep posting a lot of long, fancy-sounding rants that just keep describing the same, extremely delimited and pessimistic way of thinking.
There's a shorthand that we commoners use for the exact same ideas without wearing out our keyboards.
"Behavior developed to create a pleasurable mental response, etc, etc..."
You repeat this idea a lot. It sounds super-impressive.
You do realize that's the very textbook definition of the word "FUN," don't you?
Why not just say "FUN?" Why do you scorn the word FUN as if it were mere delusion, yet keep using its literal definition, as if you finally found the bad way of speaking it? Are you having a joke on us?
Most of the points you keep making in gloomy psychobabble to scare people can also be said in regular English without losing a shred of meaning.
pleasure inducing behavior = FUN, or FUN ACTIVITY
validation leading to dramatic increase = SCENE
identity with behavior = FUN LOVING
dramatic, obsessive increase in behavior = TOO MUCH FUN
emotional turmoil over excessive behavior = GUILT, SHAME
Yes indeed, if you have too much fun, and if you are guilty of putting your fun above others' needs, you will always have problems with those others and your relationships will suffer. Shame on you.
But it works the same exact way with ANY 'behavior' (activity) people do for FUN. Yes, having fun is addictive. Not only cross-dressing "behavior," but anything FUN under the sun will lead to wanting to do more of it. Yes, there is such a thing as having too much fun to the point where you devote your life to it.
And yes, many many marriages have ended tragically because the husband put his 'fun' above the needs of the marriage.
He's out at the bar drinking with the guys and never comes home, all he cares about is golf more than his wife, all he likes to do is cross-dress, and damn his golfing/drinking/crossdressing buddies for validating his behavior like that, and making him do it more. They sure dragged him right away from his wife by validating his behavior.
Saying long impressive words won't cover it up.
(Btw, the point that there are people who don't like the "behavior" is moot. I can't be around people drunk in bars, and I really HATE the way people dress on a golf course, with their silly hats and dopey cardigans. What do they think they're doing?
Is my not liking it supposed to curb their "pleasure-inducing behavior" in the least?)
Now, if you want to know why people find cross-dressing fun, that's a whole different issue. For that, I'd suggest clawing yourself out of the "Skinner Coffin" first, breathing the free air a bit, and then reading some Jung instead.
But for all this talk of "conditioning and response", please don't look at yourself or other humans as "rats," or that's exactly how you'll feel.
No offense taken by your response to my elaborate "rants". No . I do not view myself or other human beings as rats in a laboratory. That would be an insult to the rat. I'm not here to test out my theories in behavioral psychology , write a paper on the subject or indulge myself in feelings of self importance by the use of long drawn out sentences, big words, and high ideals. I'm not that vain.
I write the way I write because that's my "Style". Everyone conveys an expression of an idea differently. Otherwise we are just plagiarizing off each others words and thoughts. Hardly original at all. I try very hard to make what I'm trying to say easy to understand. Not everyone has a Harvard education. I certainly didn't. If it seems I'm repeating myself a lot you must be reading my other posts. Good for you. I'm faltered.
I get a lot of email and messages from people, couples and parents who are concerned, scared and confused about the behavior of cross dressing. Most of them don't see it as a "fun activity". For some it may have started out that way but it isn't anymore. The first thing I let them know is that I am not a Psychologist or counselor. I have no diplomas on the wall that say I am an authority on any given doctrine. All I have is a life time of experiences to draw from. Sometimes that's enough.
I let them know, up front, that my suggestions are ,just that,"Suggestions" based on my opinions of the situations and information that are given to me. I often suggest that they meet with an outside counselor. More often just being able to speak to someone who knows what they are going though can be a big help. One human being with problems to another human being with problems. Ironic that in helping others one tends to help ones self. There in lies the beauty of the human condition.
I have no qualms with anyone who uses the behavior of cross dressing for the fun and excitement of it. I say go for it! What ever makes you happy!
That's a personal "choice".
That is what the result of anyone's life is, the accumulation of all the choices that they made.
Make whatever "choices" are right for you.
"Live long and prosper, My Vulcan Friend!" ( A little plagiarism never hurt anyone.)
Be safe. Be smart.
Dawn Marrie
CANCER IS A BITCH SO YOU HAVE TO BE MORE OF A BITCH TO BEAT IT.
Dawn
Yes, I do read your other posts, if only because that warning, stinging point of view is necessary to hear in those cold, heartless terms, and then be examined at and rebutted.
Your 'style' represents, to me, the voice of shadow; the hopeless, self-loathing facet of man's mind that must be faced, accepted, expressed, but then ultimately eclipsed if one is ever going to be complete and effective in the world, and able to relate with life in any meaningful way.
Your style is quite effective in that; in making one wish to rebut, and live as a rebuttal. (If that was your intent, kudos to you, and I thank you for the lesson, you see the response it evoked.) But it also tends to scare people, and if they let themselves believe that the way you state it is the way it really is, they could lose hope and spiral downwards.
Of course, I can't speak to the reality of how the style will affect others, only my opinion based on how I react.
I just do hope you don't truly believe that of yourself, (not all the time anyway,) when there's a whole wonderful world just past that doorway.
Not every person who drinks becomes a drunk, and no blame can really be placed on the drink itself if he does. Yes it is all about choice, but the lesser choice is what particular behaviors you engage in, and the big choice, the critical choice, is in how you view them and yourself. In the cross-dressing sphere, these behaviors have the potential not only to be harmless, but actually healthy, therapeutic, and spiritually healing. A healthy dose of fun is a basic human requirement.
best,
W
Last edited by Wen4cd; 08-09-2009 at 11:36 AM.
And so we go, on with our lives...
We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?
Spiderman; YUK! When I was that age I thought Cinderella (the Disney version), was gorgrous. I had a cinderella storybook and even a record of the storybook so I could follow along. Perhaps your young dental patient sees the same beauty in the princess sticker as I saw in Cinderella.
Luv andJill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
Wen4CD,
It isn't often that I get such a repeated and consistent response to a post. You seem to like conflict rather than resolution. You see doom and gloom where there is none. A caution sign as an obstruction to free will when that is not its intent. Imply that a person's post have no heart in them. That's very bold of you. You've got a little bit of a dark side there yourself. What are you afraid of? Me. You don't need to be.
I'm a human being just like you. Maybe just a lot older and wiser for the wear. Talking to you is like talking to one of my adult children. They think they have it all figured out too. If I try to help them avoid disappointment by relaying to them what I've learned from experience they rebut thinking I don't know what I'm talking about. Because that was then and this is now. My opinions certainly aren't valid by today's standards. Today is supposedly more complex. Later they find out I was probably right. Common sense applies now just as it did back then. Believe me when I say , "I don't enjoy being right" afterwards. Children have to live and learn for themselves. They all doing ok now, considering what they had to go through growing up, with a father who looked more like a mother than a dad.
If life were a game, which some people think it is, than the object would be to win a all costs. Take no prisoners. But life isn't a game and no body ever wins. We do all cross the finish line eventually. Sometime we require a little help.
Where are you looking for help? Maybe you don't think you need any. That's right it's all about the "fun." You can control it. It doesn't control you. Most drug addicts think they same way. If you question their dependancy. They will rebut the accusation that they are dependant. Offer them advise or help and they will rebut saying they don't need it. That is their right. They are in control of their own destiny.
Here's the thing about "Rebuts" Rebuts with the intend of spurring meaningful discussion are encouraged. Rebuts for the sole purpose of rebutting serve no one.
The key word in "REBUT" is "BUT". People always look for the "but.
"But" that does apply to me because I know what I'm doing. "But" I'm just a casual user.
That's called "But" logic. It isn't logical at all. It's for kids with one hand in the cookie jar. Not for adults.
Nuff said.
Be safe. Be smart. But...but..but.
Dawn Marrie
CANCER IS A BITCH SO YOU HAVE TO BE MORE OF A BITCH TO BEAT IT.
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