i am definitely very new here and as of yesterday, i never ever thought i would be posting in a forum on a website called "crossdressers.com"
but. here i am. and i need your help... this is long and i apologize, but i'm totally new to this.
i am a heterosexual girl who is in like with a transgender boy. ever since we first started hanging out about a year ago, things just clicked. we have been existing as best friends for about 8 months now, hanging out every weekend, going on trips together, and talking almost every day for hours. i felt like we could tell each other anything. i guess i always had a little crush on him and that was what made it possible for me to spend so much time with him, but it wasn't until recently that i really accepted that yes, i *like* like him.
yesterday when he came over to my house, we sat together on my couch and stayed up all night talking. i kind of let it slip that i'm romantically attracted to him, and he said he feels the same way.
then... i thought he was going to kiss me, but instead, he came out to me.
he said "i'm a boy, but i have a girl's body..." i was just like... "what?" and he had to repeat it a couple times. i thought he just meant like, he thinks he's too skinny or too short because he is a little shorter and skinnier than me. but no... up until 4 years ago, he had been living as a girl. he told me he has GID and takes regular injections, which is why he can grow his facial hair. also i think he has had top surgery.
it was a complete surprise. sure, he has a unisex name and is a little effeminate, but lots of japanese boys seem very feminine compared to american boys. if anything, i thought he was gay. i would always tease him about being gay or being a girl, but that was only because i never thought it could actually be true. i immediately felt horrible for how i had teased him before.
he told me that if i wanted to take back my confession of romantic feelings, he would understand. i just looked at him with tears in my eyes and told him that it was him that i cared about, *him*, not what was (or wasn't) in his pants. i was so impressed with his bravery to tell me such a big secret. all i wanted to do was hug him and comfort him and tell him that i accepted him just the way he is and he doesn't have to worry.
in japan, there is a word that gets thrown around quite a lot recently. it is "new-half" and it mostly refers to MtF. there are new-half clubs/hostess bars, and even a handful of new-half celebrities (haruna ai, ikuko, etc.) who appear regularly on TV. usually they on variety shows as comedians or singers or giving make-up/fashion tips, but i did catch a serious interview with haruna ai. she said that she always knew she was a girl, but she was just trapped in a boy's body. that interview was the extent of my exposure to transgenderism.
after my boy came out to me, and went back to his house the next day, i seriously googled/wikipediad/youtubed the crap out of transgenderism and "transmen" because i wanted to know exactly what he was dealing with and going through. that is how i came to this site.
i read pages and pages of what you all have written on here and it has helped me so much. i think i'm starting to get an idea of what my boy has been dealing with.
now i need some advice.
i have so many questions that i want to ask him about him being a transman, but i don't know if it's ok to ask? for example about when he knew he was a boy, how he went about finding out how to be a boy physically, if he has periods, if he plans on getting more surgery, if he used to be a lesbian, etc. etc.
also, i'm a Christian, so i don't believe in having sex before marriage. so if we dated, i wouldn't have to worry about things in bed until if we got married... but i still want to touch him and sleep (yeah, sleep) with him but i have no idea what he expects/wants in a physical relationship. is there a "norm" for transmen in regards to expectations in physical relationships?
i met him as a boy, and he is a boy to me in my mind, but i still want to joke around with him as always about how he's a girl or something but now i feel like if i said something he wouldn't feel like he's passing... i guess i'll just have to watch what i say.
so i don't know. if there is anyone who is going through the same thing, or any transmen who have some insight on what my guy must be feeling now or how you would feel in a similar situation, please please please reply.
Originally Posted by deja true
