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Thread: i need some help

  1. #1
    Junior Member briefing0007's Avatar
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    i need some help

    my girlfriend has no idea i enjoy crossdressing. are there any movies or games that could get her to think it might be "cute" if i wore some of her clothes? i know it would have to be slow at first, maybe just wearing her panties or bra, but eventually i would want her to dress me head to toe.

  2. #2
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Just be honest with her and tell her. Playing games and trying to make it cute may cause more problems later if she finds out you've been doing it a while.... and if she is ok with it take it slow, as it could take months even years for her to get to a comfort level that she is ok with.
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  3. #3
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Be honest...I know many GG's that when they find out later the truth and see that it was all just a game/ or made up story so you can dress feel very upset How would you like being played? Be truthful and real .
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  4. #4
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    I agree with Sandra and Di---just be honest. I know it will be difficult but if she stays with you then you and her will be much happier in the end.

  5. #5
    Member sandra diaz's Avatar
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    Take it slowly

    Honey, one thing I learned is your girlfriend might understand you first, but it will take time to accept you as you are. Don’t rush and even if she take you as you are, she might not like it. Go slowly, just wear little pieces of clothes at a time until she get comfortable with the idea of you wearing women’s clothes

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Daintre's Avatar
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    I have to agree with Sandra and Di. playing games is not the answer. Communication is the key here, sit down with your girlfriend and have an honest talk in a calm cool manner, after all you have lived with the CDing for some time and this will all be new to her.
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  7. #7
    Rebecca Ras's Avatar
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    I agree...you may wish to test the waters a bit first to see her reaction. That way you can guage how open minded she really is

  8. #8
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    You're there...

    You're already living a movie and playing cute - with her time.

    Know it off.

    Just tell her, kiddingly to sneak up on it if you must, and see which way she leaps.

    Don't be surprised if it's not all fun and roses forever with this one.

    Next time, be more honest up front and save everyone a lot of trouble - including yourself.

    Good luck.

  9. #9
    Just a girl in the world
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    I agree with everyone else, just be honest with her and tell her. However, you do also need to be prepared to possibily lose her. That's a big secret you're keeping from her, and some just can't take it. So while I do think you need to tell her, you do also need to fully understand the potential consequences. It's easy for us to just throw out "tell her" since we're not the ones who might have our heartbroken. But if you want to build anything lasting with her, honesty is the way to go. Better to find out her reaction now though instead of later when the relationship has progressed into something even more serious (like marriage).

    I'm going to go on a bit of a rant here, and I realise it may be a bit unpopular, so I'm wearing my flame proof panties. I don't understand why people get into a serious relationship and think it's okay to hide something big like that from their SO. Certainly before you get married that's the kind of thing you must come clean about. If you're going to have an honest relationship with someone, you can't hide who you are. Sure, there's compromise in any relationship. But if your desire to dress is so great that you do it no matter what, it's clearly a major part of who you are and they have a right to know before things get serious. Better to risk hurting the relationship early on than after there are assets and children and other things involved. I realize society makes it hard to want to come out of the cd closet, and when you find someone you're smitten with it's hard to want to risk doing anything that might cause you to lose that. But if you want it to last and be fully happy, you gotta be honest. Not to mention why would you want to be dishonest to someone you love?
    Last edited by michelle_tx; 08-10-2009 at 10:39 AM.

  10. #10
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    It sounds like you want to be honest and tell her, but need a way of approaching the subject that is less awkward for the both of you, and puts it into a more accepting cultural framework, that might eclipse any creepy or negative images she's already learned.

    Final Fantasy VII has a wonderful scene near the beginning like that, almost a cross-dressing mini-adventure, where you must quest for the prettiest outfits and accessories to wear, assisted by your female love interest, and getting acceptance from various members of town to help make you the best dress, etc... It's cute beyond cute.

    Or you could develop an interest in like, Malice Mizer or something in that Visual Kei genre of 'looks more awesomer than it sounds' lol.

    But ultimately, you'll have to tell her that you still honestly don't know where you are going with this, but would like to explore it because it's something you are interested in.

    Just, don't show her this right before you tell her.
    Last edited by Wen4cd; 08-10-2009 at 11:06 AM.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  11. #11
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    Be Honest

    Quote Originally Posted by briefing0007 View Post
    my girlfriend has no idea i enjoy crossdressing. are there any movies or games that could get her to think it might be "cute" if i wore some of her clothes? i know it would have to be slow at first, maybe just wearing her panties or bra, but eventually i would want her to dress me head to toe.
    Be honest and tell her, don't play games with her. If she sees it on a movie or game she may not relate to it and she may not like it; if you tell her she will relate to it, for good or bad, and if she loves you she may try to understand it. Also, if she doesn't like having a CD boyfriend, no amount of movies or games will make it cute for here.

    Good luck,

    Caludia Dawn

  12. #12
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    like everyone else just be honest and tell her .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #13
    Closet crossdresser Gerard's Avatar
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    Only thing I have to add, is that there is a difference between you wanting to wear female clothing and you wanting to wear her clothing. Make sure you communicate what you really want.

    Maybe Superman, as Clark Kent is all about keeping his identity secret? Not being Superman after you confess might be a bit of a bummer though.

    Also if you have ever watched the series Smallville, it's all about people breaking up because they can't be honest to each other. Showing that you really love and trust someone enough to tell your secret can be powerful if said in the proper way.
    Last edited by Gerard; 08-10-2009 at 11:57 AM.

  14. #14
    Member Barbra_in_Tulsa's Avatar
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    Maybe a different twist on things, yes, be honest, the longer you wait the tougher and more difficult it will be. Rather than a "game" get an Eddie Izzard DVD, he explains things well and might help give her some perspective. Watch it with her and afterward do a little sharing.......

  15. #15
    Member LeslieSD's Avatar
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    I thinnk she is not trying to hide from her, but are trying to find the best way to tell.

    There are many ways: for example, halloween is a good starting point to hint it. Introducing some item at the intimate time is another way. Or starting wearing some clothing items and tell her that you like the feel of it.

    There are many movies too. From the oldest "Some like it hot" with Monroe in it, to some later "Tootsie" which won Academy Awards. There are more recent ones, "Sorrority Boys" is one name that comes up in mnd, but there are many.

  16. #16
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    Like many have already said.....

    Just be honest with her!!

    If you start off by inventing games or stories and she later discovers the truth then it will make her doubt your honesty about all things, not just your c/ding.

  17. #17
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    Maybe because you don't know yourself...

    >>I don't understand why people get into a serious relationship and think it's okay to hide something big like that from their SO. Certainly before you get married that's the kind of thing you must come clean about. If you're going to have an honest relationship with someone, you can't hide who you are.


    MT,

    Good questions.

    I don't think anybody thinks it's, "OK," to do that. But, it takes a while to "know yourself" and that can be a big problem when it comes to,"being honest and truthful." You can't be honest about yourself until you walk the walk - then you can talk the talk.

    I've been asked "evolutionary" (What you doing? How does this makes sense? Are you going to...?" questions along the way and I found out the best response is:

    "I don't know... I just don't know everything about this... But, it seems to help more than it hurts anything. It's just how I've been living and - when I thought it might cause "us" problems - I felt it the right thing to bring it up. It's your life too. And, I really appreciate you talking to me about this because not only do I not know all the answers, I haven't even thought of all the questions. But, like I said, it has seemed harmless enough, but helpful enough, that I've been getting through life as I am and the world hasn't crashed or anything. Do you think what people wear in their own homes, for example, is that big a deal? Does wearing a costume out on Halloween really make you a different person? Would it be such a bad thing if I was a fan of something, like racing or football, and spent my money on some team shirts and extra beers on game day?"

    Be honest, then be more honest as you know more. And, make the effort to know a lot. Be as honest as you can, and maybe more honest than you usually are when it comes to your SO. It's the basis of the trust you need to be together; they have to know you at least as well or better than you know yourself.

    How many husbands and wives get asked, "Where's "Z" today?" and they respond with some unexpected answer like, "Oh, off with their buddies for three weeks in Mexico, goofing off and buying stuff."

    To your surprised look they then say, "Yeah, I know... It's not for everyone. But, hell they're good with the kids and they'll be in a good mood for months after this. So, what the heck. Better the devil you have than the one you haven't met yet, right?"

    Love endures, but not on ignorance.

  18. #18
    Silver Member trannie T's Avatar
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    Games People Play

    Here are a few games you could play:

    "Guess What I'm Wearing Under My Pants?"
    "You Tell Me Your Secret and I'll Tell You Mine."
    "Do You Know Whai I Want for My Birthday?"

    Or you could crank up your courage and just tell her the truth. It won't be easy but it is the right thing to do. Tell her before summer is over, she won't be as suspicious of your heavy perspiration as you are working up the nerve.
    It takes a real man to wear a dress.

  19. #19
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trannie T View Post
    "You Tell Me Your Secret and I'll Tell You Mine."
    I would go with this one when it's time to disclose. Shared secrets are a fundamental key to building intimacy.

    But I think the OP is asking for some preparatory steps leading up to that. Soften her up to the idea that it can be other than bad.

    That's walking a fine line between "education" and "manipulation." It's naughty, but it can be viewed as not so bad, since you can argue she's probably already been 'manipulated' by cultural conditioning and media.

    The question you want to ask is 'do I want to manipulate or educate?" I think the key difference is whether disclosure comes before or after it.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  20. #20
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    As you must say in court. "I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You will be far better off this way. And if she is the right one for you she will let you know.

  21. #21
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    It'll never work, Briefing!

    But, if u MUST play this game with her, Halloween is coming! U go as Angelina. She can go as Brad!

    Oh, yeah! That'll work all rite!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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