Honesty

[Sharon]

What is the purpose of this forum if we can't be honest about ourselves?

I must confess that I'm at a total loss to understand why some people feel a need to fabricate stories about themselves. To me, the primary value of this forum is that it gives us an opportunity to share a bit about ourselves, and to read the trials, tribulations, and adventures of other people like us.
Aren't we losing this by creating a fictitious image of ourselves?
What good does it serve to get congratulations for something never accomplished?
What good does it do to elicit emotions from other members, sometimes even provoking heartache and tears, for something that never happened?
Is there pride to be found in boasting of falsehoods?

I don't know about the other members here, but I have been hesitant about sharing details about myself, because I'm afraid that it may sound like just another possible story. This is a shame. I wonder how many true life experiences we are missing because other members feel the same way.

The timing of this thread has been provoked by a specific thread created in the recent past, but it is something that has been on my mind for some time now.
If any of you are wondering whether I'm referring to you -- then good! That means you may be feeling guilty. Up until the past few months, I usually accepted people's stories as fact, my opinion only to be altered by irrefutable evidence. Now, unfortunately, I read every post, excepting for those members I'm very familiar with, with a skeptical eye.

I don't expect things to change because of this post. I just felt a need to vent.

[Julie York]

I know what you mean. We've been here before. I think it is a real shame that people daren't post experiences that ARE real for fear of being thought a fraud (by ME probably!). But there's been so much obvious nonsense that it isn't surprising the two get mixed up.

Remember my "Damned lies and more lies" thread?

I am a bit mystified why people post such obvious rubbish though. What's the point? It does give me a little light relief though. I like poking them with a stick now and then.

[paulaN]

sharon. all I can say is I have never posted any falsehoods. I do tend to belive every thing I read even though I know I should'nt. maybe your post will do some good.

[Sharon]

sharon. all I can say is I have never posted any falsehoods. I do tend to belive every thing I read even though I know I should'nt. maybe your post will do some good.

I doubt it Paula, but maybe for a few hours though.

[Marla GG]

Sharon, I hear you. This has been a pet peeve of mine ever since I started visiting CD sites and forums about 8 years ago. This forum is not nearly as bad in this regard as many others, which is a big reason why I'm here. The moderators and core members seem to be able to smell BS a mile away.

I find it really helpful, and inspirational, to read true stories posted by members who have had the courage to do things that Angel and I have not yet done but want to. But how do I know those stories are true? I think to some extent you can tell by the way they're written. Also, I find myself trusting certain members implicitly because their sincerity shines through in their posts and makes me believe, without ever having met them, that they are for real. Jules could post that she went to the White House en femme and had tea with the first lady, and I would believe every word.

Pictures help too. Angel and I already discussed bringing the camera on our en femme wig shopping trip next weekend, so it can be documented with pictures. It will be fun for us to have memories of the experience, and it will help add credibility when we post about it.

Thanks for voicing this concern, Sharon. I hope the day never comes when I stop visiting this forum because it gets....well, you know, how forums like this sometimes get. I personally think the best thing to do with iffy stories is not respond to them. Hopefully the poster will get the message that no one bought it. As for me, if I get one more PM saying "Dear Marla, My wife caught me dressed and now she is forcing me to wear women's clothes 24/7 as a punishment, what should I do?" I SWEAR I'LL SCREAM!

[crispy]

I totally agree with you, but we shouldn't be surprised if this forum attracts its quota of innocent dreamers, crazy nutters and the occasional malevolent lurker.

We shouldn't let it put us off our stride.

And let us not rule out the opportunity to post spoof threads that are clearly intended to take the piss out of some of the more ridiculous contributions. We are still allowed a bit of fun, I hope.

I hope your real-life experiences will be recognised as such when you decide to share them with us.

[FionaAlexis]

I'm afraid I'm a bit of a skeptic....even a cynic now.

Generally I will accept what is written if it's plausible and sincere but I think I'm bit wary of certain types of poster. There are always going to some who get their joy in seeing how much they can get away with and/or testing community gullibility.

They don't affect what I write or whether I post - because really I post for myself - maybe its a kind of therapy - if others take something from it then that's great.

As I've said in an earlier post I've learned a lot from trannies who've posted openly about themselves - I just wish I'd had the benefit of that knowledge years ago.


Fiona xx

[Tristen Cox]

First - you all know when I asked to be a mod in Julie's absence we were going through the worst of times here. I look out for you all, and don't like people coming here spread falsehoods to get attention or playing our heart strings. I have removed them before and I will again.

What is the point of lyiing? False realities create false security. If someone told me to jump off a bridge because it was cool to do, would I?

Folks the reason I don't lie is it's too easy to mess things up, so yeah I'm a losey liar. What these people coming here with ficticious stories don't seem to get, is we can see right through their BS and they think they are actually pulling one off on us.

There are many forms of trolls.

[DonnaT]

I agree that we could do without the fiction, that's what Fictionmania is for.

However, I don't let little things like that bother me. If people want to live in a fantasy world, so be it. I've more important things to do that worry about other folk's fantasies. And as a writer of TG fiction, who know's, maybe I'll find inspiration for another story to post to Fictionmania.

[alise]

I just want to give my opinion on this thread. I hope people reading my answer will understand, even if my english is quite crap.

Did the frog speak english ??????

:think:

I have been to several other site, mainly french, and stories are too often unbelievable. I think writers tries to make their dreams come thrue just by writing down their stories. Then i went here. I have been really surprised. Indeed, things are more real, opinions seems to be the result of a think, and personal experience are often believable. It's obvious that not 100% are real, that not 100% of the members are honest with the others. But anyway, i think (and really hope to be right) that what we can read here is mainly thrue.

Anyway, the more important to me is that i feel better in my life since i become member here. Thinks i'm writing are always my real opinion, my real experience. And more important, this site open me a new door to my life as Alise.

Hope my reply is not a non sens ........

[Sharon]

I agree that we could do without the fiction, that's what Fictionmania is for.

However, I don't let little things like that bother me. If people want to live in a fantasy world, so be it. I've more important things to do that worry about other folk's fantasies. And as a writer of TG fiction, who know's, maybe I'll find inspiration for another story to post to Fictionmania.

Let me present a hypothetical counterpoint here.
Suppose a new and/or immature crossdresser is inspired by some outlandish story (I don't know -- maybe concerning a visit to a straight bar en femme) and ends up getting hurt, or worse, by attempting to duplicate the adventure. It would be bad enough if the original story was true, but it would be tragic if the story was the figment of someone's imagination.

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi Sharon!

I've been burned badly in this place in the past. I can sling equations with the best, but when it comes to people I'm a total idiot. If nothing else, my BS detectors are now functioning at a rudimentary level, and I try to never take an extraordinary tale as anything but that, a tale.

That said, there are people here whom I trust at differing levels. There are many I trust highly. They can post, and based on their posts in the past, I trust them. Some I trust marginally, some I don't trust at all.

Some people sucker me in really badly when they post something that seems sincere on one level and absurd on another. (I'm still grinning over the last one, O Toothy One. Ya got me good, girl, but it's cool! ^_^ You're still a sweetie!!!!!)

Am I cynical? Nah. Am I cautious? You bet. Am I skeptical? I am more skeptical than I was when first I arrived. I share up to what I'd be willing to share with others in the general public. I've probably become more reticent in recent months, though it is a reticence born of trust and propriety than of anger and hurt.

This is a good place here with good people. We don't all agree, we're not all the same. I still like the place.

Would I want a "proper" forum? Nah. I side with Crispy on this. If it wasn't fun, what would be the point?

[Tristen Cox]

Let me present a hypothetical counterpoint here.
Suppose a new and/or immature crossdresser is inspired by some outlandish story (I don't know -- maybe concerning a visit to a straight bar en femme) and ends up getting hurt, or worse, by attempting to duplicate the adventure. It would be bad enough if the original story was true, but it would be tragic if the story was the figment of someone's imagination.

Very true, that's what I meant by FALSE security. Thank you Sharon

[Jenny Beth]

I have to agree with Sharon in that I don't particularly want to put much about myself here because I have been skeptical about some of what I've read here since I joined. My BS radar is not tuned very high but I still tend to respond mostly to threads where people are having problems and that inevitably leads to my putting a bit about my own situation out there. It's unfortunate that there are those who play on people's emotions here but I hope it never stops me from saying what I think.

[Wendy me]

i agree with all that is said here on this thread. how manny here that get all involed in when we think someone is in need of our helpe or support...try to help out only to find out we were being scamed ....yet we are there in a heart beat the next time some one is or appears to be in trouble....on day some one is going to realy need our helpe lets hope that we don't pass that person up for fear of being scamed....

and lastly if you read that someone did something so un beliveable and think hey i can do that as well ....stop think...ask your selfe is this something i can do?? dose it just sound so un beliveable that it could not be true??? i don't want to tell you what to belive, we all have free choise ...please don't think that you always need to one up the outher person ....be happy , be causus ....and be safe.....

[Anita]

so its no good saying I went out enfemme Got the local newspaper to feature me on page 3 Men have left their millions for me and wont leave me alone Ishop in my lingerie at the local supermarket and my wife insists on buying me expensive designer clothes tying me up in them and making mad passionate love to me.
I have natural long blonde hair and a 38 24 36 natural figure . my breasts suddenly appeared without hormones and I go to work at the local wrestling club enfemme and wearing thigh high high boots and nobody has said anything
Well if you don't believe me I am going to take my helicopter and fly to Rio where my gg nymphomaniac ex model is waiting for me
I cannot understand why you are so unwilling to believe me
LOL Anita xxxx

[DanaJ]

Well, I wonder if I should post in this thread?

Sharon, you get the "Thread of the Day" award! On one hand, it is sometimes amusing to read some of the stories posted here, they are obviously fabrications. But I do agree, in the long run, I just wonder what their real motives are?

I have seen this happen in other forums too. One car forum I read, there is always someone claiming to have some sort of impossible supercar, while in reality they are driving their mom's minivan....

What gets me are the members that are "100% passable". They live 24/7 en femme, work en femme, go out en femme - but have no pix because they are "camera shy", or they don't know how to post a pic, or the dog ate the film. I know I sometimes ask to see pix, but hey - photos give you credibility, and are worth 1000 words

And you have to always read these stories with a critical eye, just take a second to think if this would happen in the real world. Sure, there is always a possibility it is true, but is it really? What are the chances?

I mean, if someone says they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart - OK, I believe them.
If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, well - OK, maybe....
If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, but no wig or makeup, well...... maybe not
If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, but nothing else, well....no!
If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, and went into the dressing room where the salesgirl came in, had a fetish for CDs, was a part-time domme, and dressed her in a leather corset, well..... hmmm, maybe I do!

Remember, words to live by -
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof

DanaJ

[Stephanie Brooks]

I was waiting for your response DanaJ! ^_^ You are one of the few who is a great BS detector, can challenge a claim without being hurtful, will maintain the pressure when a claim isn't supported, and will yield based on a person's supporting evidence.

[Stephanie Mancini]

Having been a member here for only a few months it doesn't take a college degree to suss out that certain posts are not what they should be, certain people who post here need to start being honest with themselves and the rest of the members here, so good on you Sharon for firing a warning shot over their heads!


Steph

[Marla GG]

If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, and went into the dressing room where the salesgirl came in, had a fetish for CDs, was a part-time domme, and dressed her in a leather corset, well..... hmmm, maybe I do!

Hey! I'm that salesgirl!

[Sherlyn]

Honestly Sharon you make a good point ..I find myself believing alot of the stories on here and as I am now trying just too get myself out and about ..I think hmmmm...well she just walked right in there and did this ..did that ...hmmm why can't I...then I reach the situation and I shake like a leaf ......Oh btw last night ....I got up on the dance floor ..shook my BOOOTAYYYYY and then was voted hot chic of the night ..free drinks all night long ...lol ... ugh I wish ...I do know there are grrls on here who do achieve this ...and I honestly believe them ... I guess for the most ..one can tell a hoax ,,,but like ...whats the point...

[Sherlyn]

Hey! I'm that salesgirl!

Which Walmart

[Amelie]

First off, I am in no way defending people that others thought were lying, but I do believe that there can be "cultural' differences between people. What I mean is, what might sound unbelievable to someone living in the boondocks of America, might not be so hard to believe if one lived in the East Village of NYC. I have seen many strange people out and about in the East Village and in Greenwich Village, that if they were on this forum, their stories would be taken as false. I have seen men shopping while only wearing a skirt and no wig, I have seen a bald man shopping in a dress. I have been to resturants wear I have seen topless women as customers. These are not everyday occurances, but they do happen in NYC.

I have seen on this forum a picture of someone wearing a bra and panties while shopping, I can't remember who it was, but it was on this forum, and if this person didn't post a pic, no one would have believed it.

I have been to clubs where snorting coke was common, but if it was mentioned on this forum, the rural people would not believe this. Sex was common in the bathrooms of these clubs, male/male,,male/female sex was always goinng on, but this forum would ask for something silly like pictures, not everyone takes pictures. I have been in gays bars that men have sex freely anywhere in the club, one man would walk up to another and they
would just get it on, yet, I don't think people here would believe this happens.

What I am trying to say is that there are people out there that do live a bizarre life style. There are some very strange people, especially in the Village in NYC.

Here's a twist on stories that sound unbelievable. I show this forum to my boyfriends friends, one story that comes up quite often that they have a hard time believing is: When a member on this site goes shopping for female clothes and then someone looks at them shopping and they run out of the store scared. None of my friends believe this story, yet it is a quite common tale. I try to explain to them why this could be, but they can't believe someone could be scared to buy clothes. They live their lives freely, they can't believe the stories of cowardness people on this forum tell. They think these stories are false. I do explain to them that there are others out there that do not think the same as us, that there could be people that are scared to shop for fem items, still they don't believe these stories.

My boyfriend has just told me to say, ask them for pictures when they are running out of the store so he could believe them.

Once again, I am not defending anyone, but there are bizarrre people out there, who don't always carry a camera around with them.

My opinion: I think there must be a big difference from where most members live to where I have lived, or most of you are so deep in the closet that you haven't seen the world yet.

[Sherlyn]

Amelie :My opinion: I think there must be a big difference from where most members live to where I have lived, or most of you are so deep in the closet that you haven't seen the world yet.

Amelie ...what you say I believe ..I have seen alot of this when I was on the road touring bigger cities...however in my case ...here in my area the gay and tg community is just coming out of its shell ...our club has only been around a year or less....I hope this unlocks the deep closet of my area ...

[Priscilla1018]

Sharon, I agree completely,an example is the post that I PMd you about.I have to admit that,when I see a post like that,my first instinct is to reach out and try to help.I do that for any sister because what they are asking for is help and I want to help anyone who really needs it.Yes, I do fall for some BS but I guess I would rather do that than not help a sister that really needs help.It's just my nature to help.