Honesty

[mand]

Hello Sharon....................when I first came on the internet I did tend to believe what people were writting, but that did not last long at all.
However once I have read someones posts over a period of time and once I get a feel for that persons personality I do develop a trust in them and yes I believe what they are saying.
I have spoke with a number of people on this site now, by PM, Email and on the messenger and I have found that I honestly believe them, their words and their personality just comes through as being honest.
Some posts however I take very lightly indeed, wasn't it an American President who said "you can fool some of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time", sorry I don't know which one it was but I'm a Limey so I have an exscuse . Anyway I think the phrase applies it's self very well indeed to the internet, if someone is telling "Tall Tales" they usually slip up.

I am quite willing to be open on the forum about my gender, sexuality, personal problems, in fact anything, but there are some things that are too private to write about and even with the security of anonimity that the internet provides, they will still remain private.

I simply try to rely on my instincts to tell me who might be "streching the truth".

Excellent thread Sharon

love mand xxx

[Ariel]

I mean, if someone says they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart - OK, I believe them.
If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, well - OK, maybe....
If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, but no wig or makeup, well...... maybe not
If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, but nothing else, well....no!
If they say they shopped for a skirt at Wal-Mart, while wearing a skirt, and went into the dressing room where the salesgirl came in, had a fetish for CDs, was a part-time domme, and dressed her in a leather corset, well..... hmmm, maybe I do!

Ok, I work at Wal mart, and I have seen some pretty wierd stuff. Men wearing thigh highs, heels, and a trench coat, and yes, nothing else (management told him that he had to leave), women wearing plastic pants (the see thru, clear kind) with a thong on under them, men wearing skirts and t shirts with bra's outside their shirt (think that was a colledge initiation type of thing, though), and more.... so yes, some of that stuff might be true (well, except for the domme thing).

I read the posts, and at some, say no way, others, I may say well, mabye some day. Curently, I don't go out in public (well, maybe my back yard, on occaision), am not 100% passable, and therefore really don't post stories (actually, I don't have any to post). But I do like to think that I have the ability to tell the difference between BS (ref thread in the past by a member talking about being on hormones, and the changes happening way to fast) and "the real thing" (pick any thread that deal with SO problems when they find out).
Like everyone else, I don't understand the reason for the false stories, though, I think there was on thread started as a joke, and I reall enjoyed that one.
Hope I didn't ramble on too long, and no offense taken DanaJ about the Wal-Mart thing, just wanted to put my 2 cents worth in.

Hugs,
Ariel

[DanaJ]

Ok, I work at Wal mart, and I have seen some pretty wierd stuff. Hope I didn't ramble on too long, and no offense taken DanaJ about the Wal-Mart thing, just wanted to put my 2 cents worth in.

Hugs,
Ariel

No offense taken, hope my original post didn't offend you. From my original post:

Sure, there is always a possibility it is true

..so you see, I know strange things happen in the retail world, and in urban centers too. Still, the burden of proof is on the poster, not the readers...

I might add, some posters have a style of writing that lends creedence to their stories, others contradict themselves from post to post....

DanaJ

[DragonLotus]

The members of this board put up some great discussions.

The cultural thing is valid from both sides, but overall I can see what you all mean about posters stretching the truth. I learned some exceptionally hard lesson about why some people do this, so I'l pass on this link just as an FYI (not as a judgement of anyone or even an attempt to label people who lie--because everyone has a different reason). The people discussed in the link frequent the internet more and more because it's easier for them to "work their magic" in this setting. This info has kept me out of harm's way and is the main reason I refuse to do any kind of internet dating. Period.

As for me and whether or not I'm real...I sure am. I very rarely divulge personal info but whatever I do say is honest, from my heart, and not at all designed to paint an image that doesn't exist in RL.

[JoannaDees]

Ok, I work at Wal mart, and I have seen some pretty wierd stuff. Men wearing thigh highs, heels, and a trench coat, and yes, nothing else (management told him that he had to leave), women wearing plastic pants (the see thru, clear kind) with a thong on under them, men wearing skirts and t shirts with bra's outside their shirt (think that was a colledge initiation type of thing, though), and more.... so yes, some of that stuff might be true (well, except for the domme thing).

I read the posts, and at some, say no way, others, I may say well, mabye some day. Curently, I don't go out in public (well, maybe my back yard, on occaision), am not 100% passable, and therefore really don't post stories (actually, I don't have any to post). But I do like to think that I have the ability to tell the difference between BS (ref thread in the past by a member talking about being on hormones, and the changes happening way to fast) and "the real thing" (pick any thread that deal with SO problems when they find out).
Like everyone else, I don't understand the reason for the false stories, though, I think there was on thread started as a joke, and I reall enjoyed that one.
Hope I didn't ramble on too long, and no offense taken DanaJ about the Wal-Mart thing, just wanted to put my 2 cents worth in.

Hugs,
Ariel

This post is just too well written, spelling and grammar. I need proof you actually work at WalMart. Pictures please.

[JocelynG]

I will be the first to admit that I was a kind of person who would make up stories(not in this forum,but in another chatroom)about being a postop woman who was married and adopting a daughter(how corny is that) but I came to realize that I was just hurting other people and wasn't being honest with them or myself and that wasn't helping me with what I needed.It was just an outlet for a fantasy of mine but there are people here who really do need our help and look up to us for encouragement and hope,and we don't need fabricated stories that can lead to serious problems. I can tell when a story or photo is outrageously fabricated to the point that the photo is a scantly clad GG and there is no doubt it is a lie But there are some that have that gift of deception and that is what can lead to these problems that Sharon was talking about. This was a really good idea for a thread Sharon

[ChristineRenee]

Very good thread Sharon. I think the success and popularity of this site has been the honest exchange of ideas, and the commonality that we all do share despite all the diversity, cultural and otherwise, amongst us. Unfortunately, one of the more detrimental aspects of the site's popularity is that you eventually draw in the more unsavory and devious elements out there as well. I know I have been taken in by a few of these types since I have been a member here...perhaps setting aside the initial skeptical view to extend the benefit of the doubt to someone...only to end up being played for a fool in the end. Some are way more obvious than others, but we do have some pretty astute BS detectors here...DanaJ being just one that immediately comes to mind to me...that do us all a great service by calling these phonies out.

All in all the very positive aspects of this site far overshadow the negative...a tribute to all who continue to contribute positive thoughts and commentary, and to support the mods who are vigilant in maintaining the standards here that we have come to expect and to embrace.

Love,
Chrissie

[Darlene.]

Hi all

I think the author of this thread is correct in her statement that this tread will not change anything. As for it hurting those who might be led to believe something that is false, and be hurt as a result goes. Is this forum supposed to be any different that the real world?

One can go to any length they wish to attempting to create a perfect forum. If I ever find one I would not join it because (not being perfect myself) I would ruin it.

IMO the way to help a sister is to prepare her to deal with the reality that the world consists of some people that are like this. Always has and always will. And we need to learn how to live so that we are not taken in by such stuff.

Darlene.

[Tamara Croft]

When I first joined this forum, I couldn't believe some of the stories I read. Over time you get to know what is fact and what is fiction.

For example, a person doesn't become a crossdresser one day and then get a boob job done 4 days later!!! I think most of you remember that one

But like with all forums, there is always going to be one or more person that must be lonely or something and has to post stuff like that just to get relief out of their drab life (I mean that in the nicest way possible). Some post stuff like that as a cry for help, some post because they are just trolls. I take each post as I find it, if I think it's BS, I'll see just how far it goes and if it gets out of hand I'll call on it and then lock it. It's no biggy... just move on to the next post.

What does piss me off though, is members that join using other peoples pictures and passing them off as themselves. We have caught out so many of them doing it, it's a bit of a joke really and sad for them that they have to do that. But you catch them out and move on to the next one.

I do agree with what Amelie said, there are people that live extra oridinary lives that we wouldn't believe and there are things we do in our lives her friends wouldn't believe too.

Sharon this is an excellent post to you for writing it.

And to all those that are getting ready to post the next BS post, just remember this Big Sister is watching you!!!

[Tristen Cox]

You know what gets me is going out of my way to answer someone who could care less and just wants to waste my time. Makes me not want to reply to anyone that way.

I tend to give everyone a chance and be non-biased as I hope others do, without being gullable or foolish in believing everything I hear.

Honestly it takes about 100-200 posts from some here to really know about them from 'their' own words. That depends of course on if they only type a sentence at a time or type big long pages each post But then again you can talk a lot and say nothing. It's 'what' you say that makes the difference.

[Khriss]

yeah,,, I'll admitt it!? I posted a story which was completely fabricated,, and came entirely from my imagination...
It was in a "whats Your Fantacy ?" thread,,,,
Seems to me that theres plenty of room here to fictionalize,within a proper context.I'd agree too that BS seems more obviouse to me as time goes on ,, I sometimes wonder adout maliciouse intent or careless dissreguard in things some people post,but all in all,, I gotta say; " I used to be disgusted,, Now I'm amused !"

ps; here and otherplaces I've been ; Bad advice = Bad F***IN advice!

[Tristen Cox]

Damn you mean that wasn't real? All that time .... :-

[SilkenPrincess]

Hey! I'm that salesgirl!

Which Walmart? Inquiring minds need to know!
LOL!
Love,
SilkenPrincess

[Khriss]

oh, crapp , that post was a real story, to relate to someones similar fantacy but my point was,,,in anouther dream thread I ,,, ohhh well..you get my meaning right?

and ?/ why are my fantacy's so often linked with my femme'(not extesive enough !) wardrobe?..... i...need...[SIZE=1]help[/SIZE]...

[Deidra Cowen]

Gawd...so any adventure or something we are excited about now falls in doubt that is posted. (unless we have pics or some proof?)I'd just submit that just because you personally have not done something or taken a chance on an adventure...don't doubt those of us posting that did decide to engage in some activity that to us is on the edge/exciting/new to do with crossdressing.

I've seen those that exagerate in other forums...but I have also seen what happens when any post or heartfelt expression is met by responses of doubt and calls for proof.

[Ashley in Virginia]

I don't really have much to add. Just wanted to hear myself talk a bit. I have pretty much quit reading posts about going outand anything other that the title strikes me as odd. I am just not interested in wondering about the amount of truth that is in it. I have better things to wonder about.

I don't mind divulging most of the things in my life, as my life is ordinary and boring. I don't know if I would tell about the extraordinary things that go on, if any ever did. I don't want people wondering about my trustworthyness (is that one word?).

[KewTnCurvy GG]

If truth were something that could be emperically proven, there weren't be bullshit in the first place. So that said, caveat internauta! (let the surfer beware). Me, myself and I, well, we're healthy cynics

[Sharon]

Gawd...so any adventure or something we are excited about now falls in doubt that is posted. (unless we have pics or some proof?)I'd just submit that just because you personally have not done something or taken a chance on an adventure...don't doubt those of us posting that did decide to engage in some activity that to us is on the edge/exciting/new to do with crossdressing.

I've seen those that exagerate in other forums...but I have also seen what happens when any post or heartfelt expression is met by responses of doubt and calls for proof.

You missed the entire point of what I was trying to say when I began my vent this morning, Deidre. The fault must be mine, so please forgive me.

I do not want to question everything that is posted here. I am, by nature, a very trusting, and perhaps even gullible, person. But when a member states something as fact, then comes back again and alters their story, then I am not going to feel guilty about questioning them.
This forum is not a fantasy site. That is not why I joined, and that is not what I wish to see as a moderator here.
Some whimsical stories are fine, depending on the sincere responses by other members. Even something that begins as fiction can teach us all something about ourselves. But when someone makes outlandish claims, and continues to build one lie upon another, and the responses of members indicate they see the fantasy also, then it's time to put a halt to it.
As I said in my first post, I don't expect any changes to occur because of anything I say. I just felt a need to vent, and I have been very pleased and gratified to see that most responders have understood my intent.

[Toyah]

I guess that being hurt has turned me a bit cynical (is that how you spell it). The definition of a cynic is an educated realist, take care out there and dont belive everything you see or hear. Got no probs on going off on a tangent but it must be obvious.

[Paula Rae]

Hey Ladies,

DanaJ, said it for me,
"Sharon, you get the "Thread of the Day" award!

I learned a lot today, thank you Ladies.

Ricki B

[Inredsatin]

I too have trouble with what to believe and what is someones fabrication. I visit here at least twice a day to check the threads but I dont post much. i would like to believe what is written in here and what I do read has helped me to better accept what and who I am. Bless all of you who share your REAL life experiences and shame on those who post fabrications. Just my two cents worth. It takes real courage to admit what each and every one of us is going thru, whether it be trying to come out of the closet to our families or to venture out in the real world. I applaude those who can go out. I have done it a couple of times and was scared the times I did. By reading the accounts of my fellow sisters here it is becoming easier. I feel like all of us here are a small family that we can share out most intimate accomplishments and failures without being judged.
Hugs to all and thanks
Brenda,

[JoAnnDallas]

I for one would never try to Deceive anyone with a false story. You have all seen my outing posts. Besides I'm a old Southern Girl, if you know what I mean. I have seen what I believe to be out and out false stories, but on the other hand, if one is very good at telling stories, she could get away with it. It would have to be very convining and would have to be convining in her responses from others too.

After a while, you start to notice other's Personality, and can judge if she is telling the truth or not.

[DanaJ]

Gawd...so any adventure or something we are excited about now falls in doubt that is posted.

Nope, no one has said anything even close to that. We all enjoy reading member's true stories here, and no one has ever suggested Diedra that yours are not real (I think they are among the best). But I think we all have seen false stories here, and as Sharon said, sometimes these stories give false hopes to the other members....

DanaJ

[Inredsatin]

Deidra,
I too am from Atlanta and enjoy the posts you give and have seen your pics of you nights out. I only wish I had the courage to go clubbing as you seem to enjoy. Please enlighten us with more of your outings.
Hugs
Brenda

[JoannaDees]

Damn, tonight working in the yard, a 15 foot rattler came up .... I was SO scared ... then he said he's a she ... a CD snake ... I was so excited I peed my panties. Really. I have pictures, but they are sacred.