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Thread: My female side is lonely

  1. #1
    forever in pantyhose Jill's Avatar
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    My female side is lonely

    Since the first time I came out to a GG friend, I've been able to enjoy having a confidant or ally about crossdressing for most part over the past few years. I've had to tell other GG friends as time has gone by by for some reason or another these confidential and supportive friends seem to go their own way and move on in some way or another and I'm once again without a so called accomplice and I'm becoming desperate to have someone to talk to about it with, dress up with, go shopping with, etc.

    Going through a mental list of my GG friends, I can't think of a single person that I would be comfortable telling. Someone who I feel would be accepting and supportive but also trustworthy.

    I think I need to make some new friends so I can find someone but not sure where to look because I live in such a conservative area. Most people regard crossdressing as some kind of sin or some bizarre deviant behavior.

    But at the same time I can't help but to feel like a little selfish when I tell friends about my crossdressing. Hey, let's go shopping, hey can I come over and dress up. Is it fair to others to start a friendship just so I have someone to help me shop and dress?

    I'm kind of rambling now but any ideas or feedback would be great.

  2. #2
    Just finding my way.... StaceyJane's Avatar
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    I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I keep Stacey locked up in a box way too much. That's why I enjoy getting out and driving around en femme. I feel so much freedom when I'm driving around. I really haven't been able to connect with any people here as Stacey. The nearest Tri-ess group is a little over an hour away. They always invite me but since I'm still in the closet I really can't go.
    I feel that Stacey has such a strong need to express herself.
    Stacey

    I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wob7zmvVTb8

  3. #3
    New Member SexyNatalie's Avatar
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    I can relate, I have nobody I can tell. Too bad we weren't closer, we could get together in those female lonely type moments and just be gurls...... Hopefully you find somebody to confide and share with.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Sheila's Avatar
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    hun, I am not suggesting youi do do this or if oyu do you do it consciously but do you maybe make the friendship all about Jill once you have someone to talk to ...... it can get real tired real quick if it is all about your fem and nothing else ?

    Much as I love Debs, I had to say woah !!!! slow down, because even in MR Debs mode we were having convo's about the fem most of the time ...... I love him/her totally but suddenly it was becoming all about her ......... thankfully we have great communication and when we talked he realised he was becoming a bit selfish ........... and yes I was as guilty as she by not saying something sooner. I just didn't want him to feel I was rejecting Debs in any way shape or form
    I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
    Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me

  5. #5
    New Member ashcrimson's Avatar
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    I hope you find someone near you. Might you consider relocating?

    Crossdressing approx = sin, I dont know what to say regarding this place... then again, I do but I think its best not to say.

  6. #6
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jill View Post
    I think I need to make some new friends so I can find someone but not sure where to look because I live in such a conservative area.

    Is it fair to others to start a friendship just so I have someone to help me shop and dress
    Jill, I live in the same, conservative area that you do. I also agree that I don't know if it would be fair to "burden" a friend with our little secret - especially for the main purpose of being a girl around her. That's kind of the reason that I normally shop solo. Although I do have friends that have said they want to take me shopping (for me to take them shopping, actually, since I seem to know where all the cute clothes are), none have come yet. Some day, perhaps.

    In the meantime, be the best woman you can be and get out there. If it's merely a friendship you want, then make a friend. If it's a friend you want where you would be "using" that friendship, in effect, then I would wait. Cultivate a friendship first and then see where it takes you.

    My $0.02.

    Kathi

  7. #7
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jill View Post
    Since the first time I came out to a GG friend, I've been able to enjoy having a confidant or ally about crossdressing for most part over the past few years. I've had to tell other GG friends as time has gone by by for some reason or another these confidential and supportive friends seem to go their own way and move on in some way or another and I'm once again without a so called accomplice and I'm becoming desperate to have someone to talk to about it with, dress up with, go shopping with, etc.

    Going through a mental list of my GG friends, I can't think of a single person that I would be comfortable telling. Someone who I feel would be accepting and supportive but also trustworthy.

    I think I need to make some new friends so I can find someone but not sure where to look because I live in such a conservative area. Most people regard crossdressing as some kind of sin or some bizarre deviant behavior.

    But at the same time I can't help but to feel like a little selfish when I tell friends about my crossdressing. Hey, let's go shopping, hey can I come over and dress up. Is it fair to others to start a friendship just so I have someone to help me shop and dress?

    I'm kind of rambling now but any ideas or feedback would be great.
    What about another cross dresser? That way both of you could support one another. shop,lunch...whatever
    Kelly
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

    http://youtu.be/kR7NlgwVHHg

  8. #8
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    Hi Jill: unfortunately it doesn't work quite that way. You should make the relationship first and slowly bring up the crossdressing. If she has any feeling for you she may be able to except it better. You won't know until that time comes.

  9. #9
    New Member
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    Sometimes it a bit hard for one to wrap their head around the whold concept at first so I think saying....hey Im a crossdresser, lets go shopping might be a bit too much at first@

  10. #10
    Meberette Hope's Avatar
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    I keep thinking we need a social / philanthropic sorority...
    "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe

  11. #11
    Member Barbara_Jean's Avatar
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    Try the Meeting Place link on this forum to see if there are any members in your area. They may know of a support group or something that may help. I think it would be nice for some of the forum members to have a "Get together" sometime in a mutual area. At least it would be like meeting with a bunch of friends!
    Regina Ann

  12. #12
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    alot of it has to do with where you are..

    the feelings you are having are very similar to lots of us..as much as it's fun to have gg and gm friends, you might be really helped by a T-friend to really let loose ....and to really be yourself...

  13. #13
    Member Michelle_CD's Avatar
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    Maybe all of us behind the zion curtan should get together for some green jello socials. Shopping with Kathi would be an experiance to remember.

  14. #14
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    We would indeed take the mall by storm! I'm not sure if Utah would ever recover.

    Kathi

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member goofus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jill View Post
    Since the first time I came out to a GG friend, I've been able to enjoy having a confidant or ally about crossdressing for most part over the past few years. I've had to tell other GG friends as time has gone by by for some reason or another these confidential and supportive friends seem to go their own way and move on in some way or another and I'm once again without a so called accomplice and I'm becoming desperate to have someone to talk to about it with, dress up with, go shopping with, etc.

    Going through a mental list of my GG friends, I can't think of a single person that I would be comfortable telling. Someone who I feel would be accepting and supportive but also trustworthy.

    I think I need to make some new friends so I can find someone but not sure where to look because I live in such a conservative area. Most people regard crossdressing as some kind of sin or some bizarre deviant behavior.

    But at the same time I can't help but to feel like a little selfish when I tell friends about my crossdressing. Hey, let's go shopping, hey can I come over and dress up. Is it fair to others to start a friendship just so I have someone to help me shop and dress?

    I'm kind of rambling now but any ideas or feedback would be great.
    I know what you mean about living in a conservative area and people being uncomfortable with crossdressing!
    I think you have to build a friendship on more than just having her help you shop and dress - she might feel like you're just using her. I would pursue friendships with GG's for their own sake...and if she wants shop with you and/or help you with makeup or whatever, so much the better
    And well put, Sheila!!

  16. #16
    composed yet compelled Emily01's Avatar
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    [SIZE="3"]hmmmm.......i looking at your avatar and i'm thinking to myself "self....why doesn't Jill just make a friend as Jill?" i mean, if you did that then perhaps your friend would never want to meet the other chromosomes. as the Canadians say; eh?[/SIZE]

  17. #17
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    Would you consider getting involved in some group activity that attracts lots of women where you could start to make more female friends? Charitable organizations, church groups, dance classes, bridge clubs, a non-credit course at the community college, or if you want to be really daring, maybe even a sewing class at the local fabric store?

    - Diane

  18. #18
    Meberette Hope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathi Lake View Post
    We would indeed take the mall by storm! I'm not sure if Utah would ever recover.
    Having dated a woman who is now a professor at BYU, I think I am qualified to say that Utah not recovering might be a good thing...
    "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe

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