Higher appearance expectations

[helenr]

I believe one of the pricipal challenges our community faces concerns anything in public-passing is so challenging for a zillion reasons. But one heavy dilemma is one that, interesting, real women deal with daily. Think how women on TV or anywhere public are scrutinized-what they are wearing, is it a good color? Hair must be a total nightmare-keeping a head of hair from resembling a mop. It seems women are forbidden from having a mare's nest on their heads-have to be neatly coiffed. So the competition for looking halfway good is far harder for the MTF, than the FTM I would think. thoughts?

[Sharon]

So the competition for looking halfway good is far harder for the MTF, than the FTM I would think. thoughts?

MtFs spend their efforts creating the effects that the transmen are attempting to minimalize or erase. And the guys are attempting to create those attributes that MtFs are trying to eliminate.

I call it a wash.

[Karren H]

Women around here dress just as crappy as the men do most of the time.... And they don't seem to be scrutinized? Hell I have never been scrutinized when out enfemme and if I was I never noticed and could really care less what the scrutinizer felt..

Call It scrutiny on the bounty but I think that in this economy..... everyone is so busy with their own pittiful lives that they have no time left over to care what anyone else wears let alone scrutinize them.. Imho...

[kellycan27]

I believe one of the pricipal challenges our community faces concerns anything in public-passing is so challenging for a zillion reasons. But one heavy dilemma is one that, interesting, real women deal with daily. Think how women on TV or anywhere public are scrutinized-what they are wearing, is it a good color? Hair must be a total nightmare-keeping a head of hair from resembling a mop. It seems women are forbidden from having a mare's nest on their heads-have to be neatly coiffed. So the competition for looking halfway good is far harder for the MTF, than the FTM I would think. thoughts?

Women on tv ..... It's a no-brainer. Great pains are taken to make them look that good, and let's face, a lot of them are chosen because of how they look. Regular everyday girls face the same dilemma that you seem to be asking that m2f face.... There are a lot of good looking men on tv as well... same scenario, They have an army of hair stylists,make-up people lighting people and the like, and are also chosen for looks to begin with. Regular guys have the same problems as regular girls.... IMHO it would seem that F2M would have the same issues to deal with. Why would it be harder for m2f than f2m?
People are a mix. good looking,average looking,fat,skinny pretty,ugly..you name it. I believe the same rings true for m2f and f2m.....I may be better looking or keep myself better than you do, but she may keep herself up and be better looking than I do. Some do the best than can do, some don't really care.. Where's the competition?
Just my
Kelly

[borbiusle]

It actually pains me to see how badly some people on this site crossdress. They throw on a non-fitting pair of panties, a halloween wig and some lipstick and call it a day. To each their own I guess.

[kellycan27]

It actually pains me to see how badly some people on this site crossdress. They throw on a non-fitting pair of panties, a halloween wig and some lipstick and call it a day. To each their own I guess.

What pains me are people who comment on how others look and don't have the gumption to show what they look like.Looking down your nose at other people is not going to make you many friends here. You'll find that we are a tight knit group, and although we may argue.. we stand up for and support one another.

[giuseppina]

It actually pains me to see how badly some people on this site crossdress. They throw on a non-fitting pair of panties, a halloween wig and some lipstick and call it a day. To each their own I guess.

Judge not, lest ye be judged.

[windycissy]

So true...today I was walking back from lunch and a tall woman was in front of me, her hair was a mess, she was not very well put together and she was sort of wobbling in her heels, I honestly took her to be one of us until I got on the elevator with her and started a conversation, she was totally a girl and very sweet, just no sense of style...I could identify with her!

[Hope]

So the competition for looking halfway good is far harder for the MTF, than the FTM I would think. thoughts?

I think the accepted stereotype is that girls have to do more work to look good, or even just get dressed, than guys do.

My experience has been that I have to do a lot more work and perform a lot more maintenance to look good as a girl than I do as a guy. Lucky me, I get to do BOTH sets of maintenance! Yea!

I think there is another key thing at work. FTMs grew up learning to do all of the things the MTFs are now trying to figure out, and there seems to be a lot more things girls have to figure out, beauty wise, in high school than guys do. Once a person has learned to do various tasks, it seems obvious that it is easier to learn to not do your makeup than it is to learn to do your makeup.

This might also explain why the FTM folks tend to be more passable than the MTF folks do, in my not terribly humble opinion.

So I would tend to agree, in theory, with your idea, but I am also aware that it does not matter. We all have our cross to bear, and we all have our hand to play. There is no use in complaining that someone else has it easier / harder.

[Deborah Jane]

What pains me are people who comment on how others look and don't have the gumption to show what they look like.Looking down your nose at other people is not going to make you many friends here. You'll find that we are a tight knit group, and although we may argue.. we stand up for and support one another.

You go Kelly

In response to the OP
We all have our challenges regarding looks or anything else when going out in our chosen gender.
MtF or FtM....It's the same battle, fought from a differant perspective and we all do the best we can with what we've naturally got to work with.

[Karren H]

It actually pains me to see how badly some people on this site crossdress. They throw on a non-fitting pair of panties, a halloween wig and some lipstick and call it a day. To each their own I guess.

Ohh please!! Maybe you sould be posting on the "I'm a really good pretty crossdress . Com" forum??

What pains me are people who comment on how others look and don't have the gumption to show what they look like.Looking down your nose at other people is not going to make you many friends here. You'll find that we are a tight knit group, and although we may argue.. we stand up for and support one another.

Amen!!

[noeleena]

Hi..
Could the ?? be whats a bad hair day . many women have short hair . some that have long hair have them in pony tails . as we have a lot of wind .
The appreance of one is not so easy . if you have kids . who comes first . so is it going to be . oh i need at lest an hour . to be as good as those on t v . or what ever . as the school bus goes on by . no time for breakfast . its up & go . so some of us women dont worry as much ......... haveing kids . its us women who are doing most of the details . its not a few hours its 24 / 7 . now if you are a lady of leisure . an other story .
sometimes we miss the person . & just see the clothes. hair . all ratty & ....yes you know .....so dont jump on us till you know us . then our appreance will not matter .
...noeleena...

[Sandra]

It actually pains me to see how badly some people on this site crossdress. They throw on a non-fitting pair of panties, a halloween wig and some lipstick and call it a day. To each their own I guess.

Oh dear did we get out of the wrong side of the bed today?

People dress as they want to and rude comments like yours are not needed.

[Kate Simmons]

I never look at how "bad" or "good" some look. I'm more interested in what they say and have admiration for the fact that they have the guts to do this to begin with. It isn't easy sometimes, against all odds.

[Cary]

I've seen a lot of mis-steps with GGs and others. I see it a lot in the mirror. I try not to judge, because I don't want to be judged. When I see what I might consider to be a mistake, I look at it as encourgement to get my look right.

[cindym5_04]

Kelly- Great response to the poster about "bad crossdressers".

I think Kelly and Karren have hit all the points right on the head though. There's a lot of pressure in general to look good, but at the same time so many people are caught up in their own drama to pay attention to everyone else's.

My about the "bad crossdressing" thing is this: While I may not be into the look of wearing "ill-fitting panties and a bad halloween wig", maybe coupled with facial hair, or even the few on here that do the body suits and masks, why should I be judgmental to them about that? We all have our own things. Maybe being 5'10", some people would go "(s)he shouldn't be wearing 4" heels...that just draws so much attention". Fact is, I like it. The way I see it, do what you'd like to do (just keep it legal)- if you want to wear "ill fitting panties and a halloween wig and call it a day", so be it. Be comfortable with who you are. Those that criticize others for essentially not being good enough need to check the reflection in the mirror- maybe the outward appearance is okay, but try looking deeper because the person on the inside has issues of their own.

[Heather65]

Interesting post....I just posted one about getting up the nerve to go out en femme. I think anyone that wishes to look like the opposite gender would go through a simialr process...it ain't easy. The only difference being that women dressing in male clothing is accepted these days.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

It actually pains me to see how badly some people on this site crossdress. They throw on a non-fitting pair of panties, a halloween wig and some lipstick and call it a day. To each their own I guess.

• One member dresses for sexual kicks - so long as the skirt is short and the panties lacy, that's all that matters.
• Another member dresses to retrieve a childhood memory - girdles and pantyhose are the keynotes, with a permanent wave atop, looking like a fashion plate from the 1960s.
• Another is determined to pass in public, so every detail counts, and that's the one who will compare herself with the television presenter...

But this isn't a contest. We're not even running in the same race.
(But having said that, I agree with Borbiusle: I still don't have to admire untidy hair, smudged makeup and holey stockings.)

I'm the "Other Fashionista" so I can get a bit....judgmental, at least in my own head. But I think that positive re-inforcement is the key. Because frankly, I'm glad I don't have pictures of my early days with makeup, because I sucked. And I sucked for many years. But I got some better with it. And so will others, they just might need a few helpful pointers given in a positive and polite way.

I'm far more likely to negatively comment (saying I don't like) wigs. The big problem in my view being that too many folks just starting out want to go blonde, when good blonde wigs are expensive, and it's easy to get a very unflattering shade of blonde in a wig. In other words, I tend to say to stick close to ones own natural hair color (or a few shades ligher/darker) , it will usually (but not always) look nicer. Then there's wig vendors who try to get rid of their outdated, or out of style wigs on desperate-for-inexpensive-wigs CD's.

Also, those who don't go out in public don't have the same issues that those who do. As Katie said, not the "running in the same race"

Veronica Rogers