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Thread: does this bother anyone else

  1. #1
    Scene Girl at Heart chrissy_crossdresser's Avatar
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    does this bother anyone else

    well whenever im on myspace i always get friend requests from guys who have pictures of them in just their wife's panties/lingerie and tell me they are just like me so we should be friends. im sorry but that just really bothers me, i mean its one thing to crossdress and just not show your face cause i understand the fear of someone else finding out but when you have basically what comes down to a panty/lingerie fetish and call yourself a crossdresser that just seems like giving a bad name to those of us who do it because we feel thats truely who we are. ok now that im done with my little rant am i the only one who feels this way?

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  2. #2
    Person Angelofsomekind's Avatar
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    I agree. I have seen those pictures, and wish I hadn't.

    I've actually had people tell me they were crossdressers, when I'd ask how long they have been dressing they told me they never actually dressed, they like the idea of it though. I find that odd.

  3. #3
    Scene Girl at Heart chrissy_crossdresser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelofsomekind View Post
    I agree. I have seen those pictures, and wish I hadn't.

    I've actually had people tell me they were crossdressers, when I'd ask how long they have been dressing they told me they never actually dressed, they like the idea of it though. I find that odd.
    yeah that does seem odd

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  4. #4
    composed yet compelled Emily01's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=chrissy_crossdresser;1850975]yeah that does seem odd

    Odd seems to not quite capture that......i mean now we're really talking weird.....and coming from a CD that's saying a lot! lol

  5. #5
    Loving Life Dressing Jill's Avatar
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    No you are not alone in your feelings. They seem to be trying to improve their image my saying they are a cd.
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  6. #6
    Member Elizebeth's Avatar
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    Yes that does kind of creep me out I feel the same.

  7. #7
    Member Philipa Jane's Avatar
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    This sort of thing make me uncomfortable as well.
    My SO and I were discussing this yesterday and I did express the idea that this to some people is what they feel is their identity.
    This forum is all about tolerance and support however strange or odd others may seem to us.
    Live and let live.
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  8. #8
    Person Angelofsomekind's Avatar
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    My wife used to use a yahoo group for S/O's of CD's, apparently a lot of them had pictures like that posted on those groups, the wives knew about it and didn't seem to mind. She doesn't use that group anymore becuase she said all the wives were very negative about it.

  9. #9
    Member Ashley_in_Texas's Avatar
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    I'll add that to all the other reasons that I don't use Myspace or Facebook, or any others. This forum is just fine with me. Feels like home.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Violetgray's Avatar
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    Well, we must keep in mind that there are different types of cross dressers, people who dress to varying degrees for all sorts of reasons. When I see people like that, who are basically just guys in panties and what have you, I just think that they are in the infancy of their female development, and and that their female selves have the same sense of identity as an infant. Now there are exceptions to this rule, but I generally think that they usually progress into a more fleshed out feminine side later, if they allow themselves.

    Sure, I have no interest in seeing it anymore than you do, but I try to remind myself that they probably have very little outlet as far as who they can tell.

  11. #11
    Feelings with no outlet.. Ballerina's Avatar
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    I have to agree with Violet. I mean, I used to be fetishy with my CDing (still kinda am). Now that I've come out to my GF, and am more accepting to my CDing. Granted I also don't want to see another guy's junk poking out of his lingerie, but I do remind myself that they are more than likely not quite accepting to their other half, just their own pleasures.

    Granted, many are bi or bi-curious... and I'm not. That's usually another reason...
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  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Kierci's Avatar
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    If I could add to it. I really despise the "guys" that wear undergarments with their willies sticking out. I dont think that is crossdressing as so much of a fetish and them hiding under the shroud of crossdressing. I really hate to recieve and/or see that crap from sites unlike this one that dont bother to monitor for that.
    High Heels, are there any other type of shoe?

  13. #13
    forever in pantyhose Jill's Avatar
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    Thanks for this thread, this has been something that has bothered me for a long time. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that feels this way. I do think they have a fetish for doing that, which is fine, that doesn't bother me. I just wish they would keep it to themselves.

    They have to be getting some kind of positive reinforcement from others though otherwise it probably would be less common.

  14. #14
    Robyn TS Robynts's Avatar
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    My Space Friends

    Taking this thread a step further, I am amused by those people CD or otherwise, who send me friend requests, people that I have never talked to and who are thousands of miles away. What are these people looking for? I thought a friend was someone who I had some level of relationship with?

    Am I getting this wrong?

  15. #15
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    I have mixed feelings. Those folks tend to make me a bit uncomfortable as well, but we can't very well sit here and feel that we are better than they are. Like it or not, they ARE cross dressers by definition and are part of our little world. If WE despise and shun them, then we can't very well turn around and ask the world to accept us. "He who lives in glass houses" and all that.
    On Myspace, yahoo360, and facebook, my rule for accepting "friends" is simple - I will not accept you if your page shows you or anyone else in your undergarments or less. Thats a rule I apply to all and so no one can accuse me of being elitist. lol

  16. #16
    Silver Haired Member Phyliss's Avatar
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    About two or three years ago there was a link to a "chat room" from here. I used it for awhile but, it seemed that at least once a week some "troll" would hit on me or somebody else there. Got rather tired of it and haven't been back for the longest time. Just sorta "faded away" from there.

    Don't use "facebook" "twitter" "myspace" or any other social networking site. Just too many crazies out there.

    It's not that I feel superior to others, fact is I'm not much of an outgoing person when it comes to CDing. I still want it private and personal, although I have found myself getting out more lately.

    Yeah I find it uncomfortable to get a "I.M." or some quickie note from a person saying they are an "admirer" or something like that and want to be friends.

    Perhaps we can know each other, and have some nice conversations on line, BUT ... the true meaning of the word "FRIEND" has been so watered down, as to have almost no meaning anymore.
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  17. #17
    Silver Member Lisa Golightly's Avatar
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    It doesn't bother me... If they have a great personality then I'll happily chat to them.
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  18. #18
    Down into the Easy Chair SweetCaroline's Avatar
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    Yes. I get friend requests from people like that all the time. I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and add them, but don't actually talk to them. If they say anything really nasty, then I'll delete them. So far, I haven't had any problems with any of them other than a photo comment such as "U R Cute" or something like that, which doesn't bother me too much.

    While some might be strictly fetish types, other might be closeted people who need help. Many legitimate closeted CD have reached out to me in the past asking for help or advice and I would feel bad about rejecting someone who reached out to me.
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  19. #19
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    When I dress my undies are covered I dress as a GG would if she were going to the market or anywhere out and about. I just don't go out. If someone is going to be like me they better be dressed for the dressing not to look like they want to get shaged.
    Angie

  20. #20
    Breakin' social taboos TGMarla's Avatar
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    Like you, I have little in common with these types. I dress to emulate women, not in mockery of them. I do not have a bra and panty fetish, and I don't wish to correspond with men like you are describing.

    I also get "friend" requests from people who seem to have no crossdressing or transgender issues at all, and it makes me wonder just what their angle is. For what reasons do people like this want to have me in their "friends" lists? If they think I'm pretty, well....thanks. If they want sex, it just ain't gonna happen. If they want to show me to their friends and ridicule me, then they're pathetic. If they're open minded, and truly just want to be friends, then they should say so.

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  21. #21
    Time Lady JiveTurkeyOnRye's Avatar
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    It makes me uncomfortable too, in fact on my CDing myspace page in my "About me" section I have a little list of rules about who I'll add or not and one of them is if all you do is put lingerie on and shove your butt or crotch into the camera, I'm not going to add you. I usually don't add people who have no face pics either, but I do say that if they email me and introduce themselves and tell me why they don't (sometimes there's a legit reason, like not being out at work and such) then I'll add them.

    I try to say to each their own, I mean there's a part of me that does enjoy the more sensual, sexual aspects of crossdressing, I mean I've been with girls while I've worn some lingerie and really liked it, so I try not to judge, but I just feel like there's a lot of repression and self denial happening there.

    The group that tends to bother me more though are the "sissy" fetishists who also try to act like we're the same. Again, feel free to engage in whatever fetish you want, there's many that are a lot more harmful than forced feminization and sissification, however these ones really bother me because they seem to me like the ugly version of crossdressing. Rather than dress due to the admiration and respect of women, "Sissies" seem to hate women. Their vision of what being a woman is so inherently misogynistic and crude that it makes my stomach boil.

    I used to add just about everyone who requested me on myspace because I had this naive vision of all of us being united under one big transgendered umbrella, but I recently went through a deleted a lot of people on my friend's list. It's just not the same to me. to me it's the crossdressing equivalent of the outwardly homophobic men who sneak off to use glory holes or random men's rooms while their wife is at home unaware. They don't help the cause at all and they give us all a bad name.

  22. #22
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    I remember the old days of user-created Yahoo chatrooms, we'd be sitting in some CD room chatting about foundation or whatever, and in would come someone all excited:

    "Hey everybody, I just went outside dressed!"

    "Congratulations" we'd all say, or something along those lines.

    "Yeah, it was awesome! Hey, if you'd like to see how I am dressed, click my webcam button."

    And since we're usually sitting there with our cams on chatting, we'd fall for it, in the spirit of acceptance. Then we'd immediately be met with a live feed of a closeup of this person's genitalia, framed by some old torn up women's underwear, and what' he was doing to himself.

    This sort of thing would happen quite a lot, to the point where it got very uncomfortable to be anywhere near those rooms. Even chatting with people you knew got weird, because you never could be sure this person talking innocently about wigs was "typing with one hand" or not.

    But then again, if a CD happened into the wrong room on the other extreme, it would be just as uncomfortable. You'd find yourself in a chatroom not just with normal TS people, but some creepy folk who would always be twice as loud as anyone else. These conversations would go like this:

    ME: "Hi, how are you?"

    STRANGER: "Oh, welcome home, darling, I am just wonderful! I have finally learned not to deny my true self, and be the woman I was born to be! SO glad you've joined us and will soon stop denying your true self as well! So, honey, just how far along the road to full transition are you. hmm?"

    ME: "Ummm... I consider myself a crossdresser."

    STRANGER: "It's so liberating to realize that you were born to transition fully. I have never been so happy. Once you realize that all crossdressers are just TS ladies in denial of their true selves, you will be as happy as I am!"

    ME: "OK... see you later."


    This is why I love the internet, yet hate it. It gives you extremes, and makes you realize you're walking a fine line between them.

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  23. #23
    Cathy Stephens Cathytg's Avatar
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    I completely agree with you.
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  24. #24
    Aspiring lady of leisure kay_jessica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TxKimberly View Post
    I have mixed feelings. Those folks tend to make me a bit uncomfortable as well, but we can't very well sit here and feel that we are better than they are. Like it or not, they ARE cross dressers by definition and are part of our little world. If WE despise and shun them, then we can't very well turn around and ask the world to accept us. "He who lives in glass houses" and all that.
    On Myspace, yahoo360, and facebook, my rule for accepting "friends" is simple - I will not accept you if your page shows you or anyone else in your undergarments or less. Thats a rule I apply to all and so no one can accuse me of being elitist. lol
    Well said Kimberly. There is far too much hypocricy here. We should all bear in mind that many people here may have started out quite modestly wearing their SO's panties.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chriss_Crossdresser
    .....................
    in just their wife's panties/lingerie and tell me they are just like me...................but when you have basically what comes down to a panty/lingerie fetish and call yourself a crossdresser that just seems like giving a bad name to those of us who do it because we feel thats truely who we are.........
    Chris, don't you think you are perhaps being a little to un-accepting here in the way you put this. How do you think someone on these forums that is relatively new (young in their experiences) to their femme side going to feel? Don't you think perhaps they may feel dejected and possibly ashamed?

    Why not talk to these people first and establish a report with them. They may be quite anxious to talk to some one. I remember, once a long long time ago that I tried to contact some one and I was dismissed out of hand for the same rational. I felt hurt and dejected.

    Just my thoughts to ponder

    Hugs

    Kay

  25. #25
    Scene Girl at Heart chrissy_crossdresser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kay_jessica View Post
    Well said Kimberly. There is far too much hypocricy here. We should all bear in mind that many people here may have started out quite modestly wearing their SO's panties.




    Chris, don't you think you are perhaps being a little to un-accepting here in the way you put this. How do you think someone on these forums that is relatively new (young in their experiences) to their femme side going to feel? Don't you think perhaps they may feel dejected and possibly ashamed?

    Why not talk to these people first and establish a report with them. They may be quite anxious to talk to some one. I remember, once a long long time ago that I tried to contact some one and I was dismissed out of hand for the same rational. I felt hurt and dejected.

    Just my thoughts to ponder

    Hugs

    Kay
    i understand what you are talking about but these people are different. first off if myspace is your only outlet why would they post their junk in panties which are OBVIOUSLY too small that doesnt sound very appropriate at all dont you think? second off if that is the only way they can connect why send me messages saying "your so hot i want to **** you" or "ive been a naughty girl spank me" im not going to waste my time trying to figure these men out.

    everyone is allowed their fetishes but when these men call them one of us it makes me sick and brings a bad name to the rest of us. but thats just how i feel.

    i dont feel im being unaccepting because i have added a lot of newbies and helped them discover themselves because when i started i didnt have anyone. but these men that i am disgusted by make a mockery of crossdressers and women alike

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