does this bother anyone else

[chrissy_crossdresser]

well whenever im on myspace i always get friend requests from guys who have pictures of them in just their wife's panties/lingerie and tell me they are just like me so we should be friends. im sorry but that just really bothers me, i mean its one thing to crossdress and just not show your face cause i understand the fear of someone else finding out but when you have basically what comes down to a panty/lingerie fetish and call yourself a crossdresser that just seems like giving a bad name to those of us who do it because we feel thats truely who we are. ok now that im done with my little rant am i the only one who feels this way?

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[Angelofsomekind]

I agree. I have seen those pictures, and wish I hadn't.

I've actually had people tell me they were crossdressers, when I'd ask how long they have been dressing they told me they never actually dressed, they like the idea of it though. I find that odd.

[chrissy_crossdresser]

I agree. I have seen those pictures, and wish I hadn't.

I've actually had people tell me they were crossdressers, when I'd ask how long they have been dressing they told me they never actually dressed, they like the idea of it though. I find that odd.

yeah that does seem odd

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[Emily01]

[QUOTE=chrissy_crossdresser;1850975]yeah that does seem odd

Odd seems to not quite capture that......i mean now we're really talking weird.....and coming from a CD that's saying a lot! lol

[Dressing Jill]

No you are not alone in your feelings. They seem to be trying to improve their image my saying they are a cd.

[Elizebeth]

Yes that does kind of creep me out I feel the same.

[SweetCaroline]

Yes. I get friend requests from people like that all the time. I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and add them, but don't actually talk to them. If they say anything really nasty, then I'll delete them. So far, I haven't had any problems with any of them other than a photo comment such as "U R Cute" or something like that, which doesn't bother me too much.

While some might be strictly fetish types, other might be closeted people who need help. Many legitimate closeted CD have reached out to me in the past asking for help or advice and I would feel bad about rejecting someone who reached out to me.

[Angie G]

When I dress my undies are covered I dress as a GG would if she were going to the market or anywhere out and about. I just don't go out. If someone is going to be like me they better be dressed for the dressing not to look like they want to get shaged.
Angie

[TGMarla]

Like you, I have little in common with these types. I dress to emulate women, not in mockery of them. I do not have a bra and panty fetish, and I don't wish to correspond with men like you are describing.

I also get "friend" requests from people who seem to have no crossdressing or transgender issues at all, and it makes me wonder just what their angle is. For what reasons do people like this want to have me in their "friends" lists? If they think I'm pretty, well....thanks. If they want sex, it just ain't gonna happen. If they want to show me to their friends and ridicule me, then they're pathetic. If they're open minded, and truly just want to be friends, then they should say so.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

It makes me uncomfortable too, in fact on my CDing myspace page in my "About me" section I have a little list of rules about who I'll add or not and one of them is if all you do is put lingerie on and shove your butt or crotch into the camera, I'm not going to add you. I usually don't add people who have no face pics either, but I do say that if they email me and introduce themselves and tell me why they don't (sometimes there's a legit reason, like not being out at work and such) then I'll add them.

I try to say to each their own, I mean there's a part of me that does enjoy the more sensual, sexual aspects of crossdressing, I mean I've been with girls while I've worn some lingerie and really liked it, so I try not to judge, but I just feel like there's a lot of repression and self denial happening there.

The group that tends to bother me more though are the "sissy" fetishists who also try to act like we're the same. Again, feel free to engage in whatever fetish you want, there's many that are a lot more harmful than forced feminization and sissification, however these ones really bother me because they seem to me like the ugly version of crossdressing. Rather than dress due to the admiration and respect of women, "Sissies" seem to hate women. Their vision of what being a woman is so inherently misogynistic and crude that it makes my stomach boil.

I used to add just about everyone who requested me on myspace because I had this naive vision of all of us being united under one big transgendered umbrella, but I recently went through a deleted a lot of people on my friend's list. It's just not the same to me. to me it's the crossdressing equivalent of the outwardly homophobic men who sneak off to use glory holes or random men's rooms while their wife is at home unaware. They don't help the cause at all and they give us all a bad name.

[Wen4cd]

I remember the old days of user-created Yahoo chatrooms, we'd be sitting in some CD room chatting about foundation or whatever, and in would come someone all excited:

"Hey everybody, I just went outside dressed!"

"Congratulations" we'd all say, or something along those lines.

"Yeah, it was awesome! Hey, if you'd like to see how I am dressed, click my webcam button."

And since we're usually sitting there with our cams on chatting, we'd fall for it, in the spirit of acceptance. Then we'd immediately be met with a live feed of a closeup of this person's genitalia, framed by some old torn up women's underwear, and what' he was doing to himself.

This sort of thing would happen quite a lot, to the point where it got very uncomfortable to be anywhere near those rooms. Even chatting with people you knew got weird, because you never could be sure this person talking innocently about wigs was "typing with one hand" or not.

But then again, if a CD happened into the wrong room on the other extreme, it would be just as uncomfortable. You'd find yourself in a chatroom not just with normal TS people, but some creepy folk who would always be twice as loud as anyone else. These conversations would go like this:

ME: "Hi, how are you?"

STRANGER: "Oh, welcome home, darling, I am just wonderful! I have finally learned not to deny my true self, and be the woman I was born to be! SO glad you've joined us and will soon stop denying your true self as well! So, honey, just how far along the road to full transition are you. hmm?"

ME: "Ummm... I consider myself a crossdresser."

STRANGER: "It's so liberating to realize that you were born to transition fully. I have never been so happy. Once you realize that all crossdressers are just TS ladies in denial of their true selves, you will be as happy as I am!"

ME: "OK... see you later."


This is why I love the internet, yet hate it. It gives you extremes, and makes you realize you're walking a fine line between them.

[Lady Joan]

Some of the groups I belong to, I wish I just got pantie pictures. Unfortunately in the lifestyle I am in and some of the people it attracts I get pictures of no undies pictures. *shakes head*

Respectfully
Lady Joan

[Cathytg]

I completely agree with you.

[jenna_woods]

no they are not like us at all, and have seen those pic and don't like them,

[Joselle3]

I would hardly call those types of people crossdressers..more like panty obsessed panty fetishists.
I don't begrudge them for you they are.. whatever floats your boat
The only problem I have with them is that people see their sites and pictures and assume all crossdressers and TG people are like them

[Kiera]

I recently made a page at a new site I heard about. I wont link it but the name is facebook 4 tgirls.

The reason I bring it up is that I got two comments on my page now and the person they are from fits this category. I added the person, being new to the site, as a friend. I know nothing about them really but thier pic basically shows a guy in guy mode sporting female undergarments. Nothing particularly explicit, but in my opinion in poor taste.

The comments this person made struck me as being odd. Especially since I do not know them. I was thinking of deleting them both but have not done so yet. I suppose that since I do not understand the meaning behind the messages or the person, I am afraid of deleting because I do not want to be mean or appear unfriendly. At the same time however, I feel somewhat uneasy about them being there. Especially so because I do not identify with them and therefore, do not really want people to associate who I am with the image they portray.

just my two cents...

Hugs,
Kiera

[TGMarla]

Keira, it's YOUR page, and YOU control what YOU want on it. If you come off as unfriendly to someone you don't even know, and know nothing about, what have you lost? The advantage, however, is that you've taken a step to secure your identity, and your endeavors to associate with people who are more like you, and with whom you choose to associate.

Delete the guy.

[Joselle3]

Yes I agree.delete him.don't feel bad about hurting his feelings.do you think he actually cares about your feelings? He doesn't..he's after one thing

[Samantha43]

Like some of the other girls have said, I think wearing lingerie is a fetish for some guys. I have a myspace account and get friend requests like that occasionally. I just ignore them. If that's their thing, that's fine. I just don't want to be part of it.

[Rachel05]

You see that is what I like about this forum, we are all sharing a similar love of cross dressing and I wouldn't go sharing this love of dressing on just any old forum or myspace or whatever, it took me a long time to get this far with my feelings because it is so much more that just wearing my wife's lingerie.

Actually my wife's lingerie doesn't suit my tastes anyway.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

My take on the picture thing is, I understand that we all go through a growth phase when we come out the closet where we are determining who we are. I was (and technically still am ) in that phase. At no point during that phase or now, has it ever crossed my mind to send pictures of me in male mode or femme mode wearing lingerie to other members with certain body parts exposed. It‘s just not my “cup of tea” .

As for friend request, I have sent them without any additional PM’s or visitor messages. I’ve always viewed friend request as another on line way of saying “what’s up” I figure if I did not get any additional messages with them either the sender has read something I posted and agreed, or liked my pictures and maybe could not find away to put this in words (something that happens to me a lot). Yes there are friends on this forum that I talk to on a regular basis more than others. Just because I do not PM or message all of them on a regular basis or at all does not mean I don’t consider them friends. Just my view on friend request.

A real world take on this is my cell phone contact list. It has close to a hundred contacts or friends on it. Obviously I don’t keep in touch with most of them on a regular basis maybe only once a year if that. I still consider them friends though.