Where is your "comfort zone"? Do you have a comfort zone...???
What I mean here is this....are you comfortable wherever you go and that includes all aspects of the female domain....shopping, going out to eat and/or clubs...using a public ladies rest room etc....
Or perhaps you simply have one place where your real comfortalbe and only there or you go to other places but don't feel as comfortable as in your particular "comfort zone"....
Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"
My comfort zone would be the surface of the planet.
OK, I'm sure there are areas that I wouldn't feel comfortable:
- At a nudist resort
- A men's locker room
- A trucker's convention
- A Pat Robertson crusade
- The lion pit at the San Diego Zoo
What's not to feel comfortable about?
Kathi
I'm most comfortable when I've got a pint in my paw
I suspect that's not what you meant thoughLike Kathi, I'm comfortable everywhere really. Maybe that's because I'm comfortable with myself (even if my shoes sometimes aren't).
Best Wishes
Paula
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What Kathi said. When I go out all enfemminated I go pretty much wherever, within reason, anyway. Department stores, restaurants, the appropriate restroom for how I'm dressed, so on and so on.
But as far as feeling totally comfortable, I don't know if that's exactly the right word, at least for me. I actually feel a heightened sense of awareness, not tension as such but more alive, more alert. A good feeling, not a bad one.
And as I used to tell people when we would have seminars on how to relieve stress back where I used to work, I don't want to be stress-free. I'm like one of those geodesic domes, tension holds me together.
Hugs...Joni Mari
"Because equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it."
--Joss Whedon, to a reporter who asked, "So why do you create these strong women characters?"
Hi Sherri,
I usually feel comfortable wherever I go and whatever I do. I go shopping in woman's clothing stores and use their dressing rooms to try on the clothing I want to buy. I go out and buy my makeup and cosmetics and use the samplers like any other lady would do. I have checked into and stayed at a hotel as Nicole. I have driven over 300 miles each way on a trip last year. When no gender neutral restroom is available I use the ladies room. And I have eaten in restaurants a number of times.
In all of these activities I have felt totally comfortable, in fact there has only been one time in one place where I felt uncomfortable. I made the mistake of stopping at a Sears store on my way back home. I had absolutely no problems when I visited the hosiery department to buy a couple of pairs of tights. But I was made to feel very uncomfortable when I went to the tool department to pick up a set of screwdriver bits. There was an apparently low class man standing there with his very young son, the child looked under 10. As I walked by, the father pointed me out to the child an said' "Don't ever grown up to be a fag like that".
I definitely felt uncomfortable, but more I felt sorry for this child and the warped view his father was teaching him.
Nicole
I think I'd take the lion pit before the Pat Robetson Crusade.Originally Posted by Kathi Lake
Good one, Kimberly, same here.<rotflmao>
Hugs...Joni Mari
"Because equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it."
--Joss Whedon, to a reporter who asked, "So why do you create these strong women characters?"
I'm more conforable in a Mall (lots of people) than I was getting my first makeup tested and applied, 1 or 2 people staring. As far as the more common locations, I've not done them all or completely confortable but I'm still working on them.
Hugs,
Alice
Seems to me one's comfort zone would be one of the following:
A) Everywhere, if you pass
B) Nowhere, if you don't
I'll take my added
C) Everywhere, if you are proud to be a crossdresser/transgendered and don't mind at all if recognized as one
Somehow you've missed the 87 threads about guys who are comfortable going out as guys in skirts. Passing has nothing to do with it. Oh, I see Chantal beat me to this very remark.
Last edited by Ralph; 08-31-2009 at 12:25 PM.
Barbara, not necessarily. I don't even remotely pass. Yes, I'll admit, I am a skinny b***h, and that helps the illusion - from a distance - but up close and looking at my face, it's obvious that I am one homely dude. Do I care? Heck no!! I'm doing this for me - no one else. If they want to watch and laugh and point, then I have made the world a better place by providing entertainment to the masses. Life is great!
Kathi
Hello Sherry-Stephinine!
When I have been to a certain place I'm comfortable being there dressed and tend to not really think about my dress (not the pun). When I go to a new place I'm not completely comfortable and pay much more attention to my surroundings. Going out dressed is new for me.....but I love doing it and have had no problems other then a few comments.
Charlie
Yep, Like Kathi said. I'm pretty much comfortable everywhere within reason. I've worked out in a Gold's gym before en femme but I didn't use the locker rooms to change. I've been to Disney World but I didn't wait in line for a picture with Mickey. I've been to church service but I don't stick around for after service coffee with the other ladies.
And like Joni indicated, I too have an increased sense of awareness when I'm out but I don't let it bother me. I do worry a little about personal safety (and I got a little freaked by that earlier this year). But all in all I love being out and doing things and enjoying myself.
The days of worrying "do I pass" are kinda behind me. I'm much more of a "do I look nice?" girl.
Michelle
Charlie said....
That's kind of where I was going with this...you old vets who have been around since JC boots were invented...nothing phases you all...but for us new girls who are now out in public...are there some places that you feel better at than others???? For me the clubs (gay for now or mixed) feel comfortable...as opposed to say going out into the Malls...some stores I feel OK in....especially if I've been there once or twice before hand....but that's all part of goingthough the learning process and eventually you'll reach the comfort zone everywhere....When I have been to a certain place I'm comfortable being there dressed and tend to not really think about my dress (not the pun). When I go to a new place I'm not completely comfortable and pay much more attention to my surroundings
Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"
Good stuff, Kathi (with an I; almost messed up)My comfort zone would be the surface of the planet.
OK, I'm sure there are areas that I wouldn't feel comfortable:
- At a nudist resort
- A men's locker room
- A trucker's convention
- A Pat Robertson crusade
- The lion pit at the San Diego Zoo
A Pat Robertson convo and a nudist resort would be the safest places on that list, imo.
In my experience, the religious fundamentalists in an evangelical setting will love you to death and talk your ear off about how you can change, but they won't threaten you (with worldly harm, anyway). They see this as a fixable problem -- Christianity is about many things, but redemption and forgiveness (from their definition of sin) are central.
I mainly try and avoid low-class people. And I put bands of loud teenagers in that category. So far, the only problems I've had with such is a very occasional remark, stare, or worst of all, the supercilious snicker.
When I say low class, I mean behavior, not income: I've had good times at working class hangouts, when the crowd is a decent lot.
It'd be infinitely more enjoyable.
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My comfort zone can be all over the place. Some days, the juice is flowing, and I can go anywhere with a boatload of confidence. Other days, it just ain't happening, I still go out, but it's not the same.
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I didn't know I was supposed to experience one. A comfort zone that is.
I did have some discomfort this morning. I usually dress very casually at home. Today I planned no out of the house ventures. At the last minute I had to run to a near by Wells Fargo branch. The drive thru ATM gobbled my card and I had to go inside to set things right. Casually, at home I happened to have on a skirt a bit on the SHORT side.
Normally, I like them about 2" above the knee. This one was about 6" above the knee, I actually found I felt some disquiet waltzing thru the bank lobby and waiting for the solution to the problem with so much leg showing. After all, I'm an old cow... I'll be 79 on the 6th of Sep... my attire today was not in the usual local mode for the older crowd.
The disquiet did not last long. It was over promptly as I dealt with the young lady who served my need at the moment. But since the question has come up... huimmmm... Yes, there was a moment of discomfort.
Looking at all the photos and avitars I see a LOT of super short skirts. I wonder if that's a common thing among crossdressers and why? Granny
I go just about everywhere dressed en femme, and am comfortable doing just about anything. About the only things I'm a bit wary of are situations that might require a legal proof of ID, such as cashing a pay-check or flying.
That's about it.
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I guess its anywhere that I can think of at the moment, not that I do to places often.
I am curious about something the initial post said, about going to womens restrooms. Isnt that illegal? I didnt knew you can do that.
I do use the mens no matter what Im wearing. On one occasion, this guy was like telling me I should watch myself coz some guys wont take it lightly, something like that and I wasnt doing anything at all just waiting there in line. My cousins lesbian partner also told me that she uses teh women's still, even if she's like me, that its better to, just so that there wont be any trouble. But its funny in a sense that, going there dressed like the way we do, its somewhat just the same at time I guess.
Hi Sherry: it's true that some of us have been around for awhile but in our earlier days cd'ing was not only not approved but associated with gays. That era could have gotten you a bashing if you weren't careful, more so than today
And whats wrong with us TRUCKERS EH EH EH.My comfort zone would be the surface of the planet.
[*]A trucker's convention[/LIST]
KathiWell if you have not been to one how do you know we would have a prob with it.
Don't worrie I am just pulling your ahhhh Skirt?
Well I don't pass either well but From the reactions from my 20th high school reunion where all the people whom did not know before from face book thought I was some ones wife. So you look better all dolled up then I do so I would not worrie about it.
As for Comfort zone I was nervous when first started to go out but now the one time I was a little uncomfortable was when the pre-reunion get together and a bar (not a gay but a (normal) bar) there was about 20 or so bikers in there but I got over that quickly. So I am comfortable every where I go. Cuz I could care less if some one(s) don't like it. I am kind of fearless I guess.
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Most places it isn't strictly illegal, it usually comes under the heading of "creating a public disturbance".
There are many places now that it is Specifically Legal to use the restroom of the gender you are presenting. Maine just joined that group in the last few months. Boston, where I spend alot of my time is another place that gives you that specific right.
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To the original question......My comfort zone covers most places. The only times I feel a little uncomfortable is when I am going out for the evening and dressed for a club enviroment, but have to stop off somewhere earlier, like a mall, to get things. Not being dressed appropriate to the venue, I feel out of place. When I'm dressed casual in jeans, I absolutely love my mall!!
Sally
I have not been out much since my wife started to hang around 24/7. But when the opportunity presents itself...nervous, at first...my favorite thrift stores, malls, gay bars, coffee shops, the women's. I am a little more comfortable when in the company of cd friends.
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