The CDing is private and does not impact the kids. Be honest with how you met. If the Judge feels an out-of-wedlock child is immaterial, why should he care how you met? Your sex life is private and it does not impact the kids. Answer the gift question. Unless BF has broken the bank and deprived the kids in order to lavish you with luxuries, it is not an impact. Email addresses and ISPs are private and do not impact the kids. The methods the two of you choose to communicate do not impact the kids. The social network sites you belong to do not impact the kids. The ex is trying to intimidate and frighten you. She cannot subpoena any of these records since the head offices of your ISPs, etc, are out of her State. Give the judge a nice pic of BF and you. Give the judge an accounting of your expenses in the last year, proving that the bulk went to living expenses and child support. With the vacations, unless the kids have suffered financially because of where you went, what does this info have to do with anything?

Give the Judge details of each time BF tried to contact the kids but was foiled by the ex.

I'm guessing the ex's attorney is asking this in an Interrogatory. Your lawyer can cite cases where it has been proven that the majority of the questions asked have absolutely no legal bearing on custody. The ex is trying to smear BFs character, and she can't if he refuses to play into her hands. You've done nothing wrong. Your answers, when applicable, need be reasonable.

You can also ask all the same question of the ex, plus how many men has she slept with? Has she had any abortions? How many times has she had the kids babysat in order to spend nights with men? How many different men have they been exposed to?

But, do discuss these points with your attorney. Mrs. X, the ex cannot smear your character. You are a decent person, a good mom to your kids, as is BF. That's all the Judge wants to know.