What Does It Mean to "Be a Woman?"

[Cheshire Gummi]

I'll say pretty much what I said in other thread I answered this question in.

I think being a woman means one thing. It's the same thing for men, as well.

Is that who you feel you are?

The other details are irrelevant. Yes, gender is *supposed* to be a system to classify physiological differences between those with penises and those with vaginas, but that's quite a different discussion.

How you feel about what a woman is or should be is entirely yours to possess. If you feel a woman is someone who is warmer, someone who is perhaps more confident, someone who births children, whatever your definition, it belongs to you. Just keep in mind that it is not my definition, nor is it a global definition. There are plenty of women who never have children, women who are careless and cold, women who are completely consumed with themselves, just as there are men who carry those descriptions.

But the long and short of it is that people simply are who they are. There is no way to categorize humanity and character, so forget the categories and try to be what you feel you are. I am a woman and I don't need to prove it with my genitals. I do nicely with my personality. If you do not agree that personality makes me a woman, that is simply your cross to bear.

To put it another way, is it really going to be chaos if we let people define themselves?

[Fab Karen]

think it would be difficult to pin any certain trait or attribute to women in general

That would be correct, just as it's true for men.

[suchacutie]

When I post, I try to be careful to talk about being "feminine" and not about being a "woman". This has been talked about before and I buy into the framework that there are simply experiences we can't have...sad as that may be. I do think it's clear to "present as a woman" as when we are putting forth our feminine persona. One doesn't have to 'be' a woman to present as one.

Having said that, those of our group here who have made the transition to 24/7 m2f have come as close as one might come to making the transition to the other gender. I think it's those wonderful people that I would like to hear from because they really have gone there, and without exception I'm sure it's been a terrifically difficult journey. The more I attempt to be feminine, the more I am amazed at what it takes to make that incredible commitment to the 24/7 lifestyle!

tina

[Kolokea GG]

Well its very hard to describe...I am my own woman...We are all different and that's what makes us who we are. I am what you might say is so what old fashioned because of my up bringing. I think a better way to ask is "what kind of woman are you?"

I am a mother, daughter, sister, aunt, and wife. I am the one that holds the family together. I am the doctor, nurse, or counselor if it is needed. i am the problem solver or the shoulder to cry on. I am ME.

[Wen4cd]

"I wish to be a woman, a female human, defined as that sex which produces the larger of the gametes needed for reproduction.

No, wait. I wish to produce larger gametes what...? No no no....

Hmm...How about this?

I wish to be what I perceive to be a woman, a female human, not defined as that sex which produces the larger of the gametes needed for reproduction, but actually defined by that which I subjectively perceive to be female - through secondary sexual characteristics; symbols associated with gender in my own social environment and time-frame; and my own fantasies.

No wait, too much going on here. Let's simplify.

I wish to be what I perceive to be a woman, a female human, not defined as that sex which produces the larger of the gametes needed for reproduction, but actually defined by that which I subjectively perceive to be female - through secondary sexual characteristics; symbols associated with gender by my own social environment and time-frame; and my own fantasies.


There we go."

[TGMarla]

To me, although I try to manifest an outward image of a pretty lady, it's mostly an internal, or mental feeling about myself at any given time. Inside, I feel like a female much of the time, especially when I'm dressed. So it's fair to say that the clothing, the breasts, the makeup, and the wigs do a lot for me to bolster that inner feeling.

However, I also am very drawn to the clothing, the styles, and the fabrics that they're made from. I love soft, pretty sweaters, for instance. I adore wearing dresses, hosiery, high heels, and jewelry. I enjoy wearing makeup like lipstick and mascara. And I love the smell of perfume, especially when I know it's coming from me.

So it's quite a complicated little package of several things that make me feel like a woman. And when I'm dressed, I get to feel like I'm "being" a woman for a short time. But truthfully, I know that I can never really "be" a woman. But I can sure try to feel that way.

[Sharon]

I haven't a clue as to how to be a woman. All I know is how to be me..., a woman.

[DemonicDaughter]

[SIZE="3"]When I woke up this morning, I wasn't a woman... I was sleepy.

When I began work today, I wasn't a woman... I was an employee.

When I cooked dinner tonight, I wasn't a woman... I was a cook.

As I sit here and type this, I'm not a woman... I'm a friend.

When I go to bed tonight curled up next to my partner, I'm still not going to be a woman... I'm going to be a soulmate.

If I gave any moment in my life where I would use the description "woman" for myself it would be when Bre tells me she loves me, when my mother tells me how proud I make her, when my best friend calls to vent his heart out on my shoulder or when I have a quiet moment in front of my easel.

What does it mean to be a woman? Same as it does to be sleepy, an employee, a cook, a friend, a soulmate....

Human.[/SIZE]

[Holly]

I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to respond thus far. I sincerely appreciate the varied viewpoints expressed and I grateful to have heard from such a wide portion of the spectrum of gender. I am assimilating (resistance is futile ) the material written thus far and would like to hear from others still, if you are so inclined to participate, I will post my own thoughts soon.

[stormrider]

I know a lot of women who look, act, and think like men. Are they any less women? Probably not. Is it the body. the clothes, or the acceptance of society that makes a woman a woman? This definition is different to different people and societies. For myself, I am a woman because I feel like a woman. My emotions, thoughts, and desires are the same as I have heard women express theirs to me. Would I like to have children? I have children and although I didn't physically birth them, I love them as a mother would. I have never been macho, even though some of my occupations would have been considered such at times. Because I have been cursed with a male body, doesn't make me bitter about who I am, nor does it make me any less of a woman in my mind. You are who you are, embrace it because you only get one chance to be you.

Michelle

[shannonsilk]

I have wondered about this myself. I only seem to know what it is like to feel like, or be, me. I am not exactly sure what it is to feel like a man, let alone a woman.
This is probably the best answer I've see.

How you feel about what a woman is or should be is entirely yours to possess. If you feel a woman is someone who is warmer, someone who is perhaps more confident, someone who births children, whatever your definition, it belongs to you. Just keep in mind that it is not my definition, nor is it a global definition. There are plenty of women who never have children, women who are careless and cold, women who are completely consumed with themselves, just as there are men who carry those descriptions.

But the long and short of it is that people simply are who they are. There is no way to categorize humanity and character, so forget the categories and try to be what you feel you are. I am a woman and I don't need to prove it with my genitals. I do nicely with my personality. If you do not agree that personality makes me a woman, that is simply your cross to bear.

ZE talked about a mindset. I can see where that would be true for those who live only in one gender. I am amazed that some other people can apparently throw an internal switch and "be a man" one moment and "be a woman" shortly thereafter. That is a fantastic achievement.

[sometimes_miss]

What would one who is not born that way have to do to achieve the goal of womanhood?

Really difficult to know this one. I'd have to say it can't be done; but you can get sort of a clue. SRS, move somewhere where no one knows you, and live the life. But unless you've done it, there's no way to know the experience of growing up female. Their lives and experiences are quite different from that of boys; so much of a woman's life revolves around their relationships, rather than activities and things; just listen to their discussions. And, they're acutely aware of their appearance, 100% of the time; we aren't. Even when we try, we can't know what it's like because we haven't lived our entire lives being stared at. Every part of a woman's clothing is geared towards making her sexually attractive to men. I've tried to learn by reading a whole lot of adolescent girl targeted literature, and have learned a lot; but 'classroom' will never be able to replace real life experiences.

[CharleneT]

Hmm.... you know this is a great question that I have no good answer for. Every time I think I have "it", I realize a good example of why "it" cannot be generalized to all women. I know what I think it means to be a good human.

I think that being comfortable in your skin, kind in your actions and having the ability to multi-task for life while those around you fall apart, seems to sum up a really basic viewpoint of what it is to be a woman. For me, a strong personality is a hallmark. But you could say the same about a man... I think that woman need to be more flexible in all things. Gosh ... this is hard !!

Live your life so that when a GG (or man ) looks at you, regardless of whether they clock you or not, they would say: "there goes a great woman...". There isn't one thing, or even a set of discrete things, that fill the bill.

[charlie]

Wow Holly, You have cut us to the quick so to speak. We can't be a woman, but only what we think a woman is. How we see women sit, eat talk, act and react. The closest to really feeling like a woman was when I went out on a date with a man. I got flowers, doors opened, taken to a restaurant, treated very special and even hit on. For my part I dressed well, kept up the conversation, complimented my date, minded all my manners, kept my knees together, and tried keeping my lipstick on! I acted and tried to be the best woman that I could. I was awarded with the feeling of being a woman and told that I was thought of as a woman as well.

[Earlene]

I'm not sure how to answer this post?

What is to be a women? What is a woman? My mother is a woman, but how do I define her? When you see someone walking down the street, what tells you she/he is a woman? Is it the way she presents herself? Is a "Woman of the night" a woman?

I really think it has to do with the way you present yourself. If I met two individuals walking down the street, one a GG and the other a CD and they presented themselves in the same manner, I would have to say they were both acting like woman, if they followed some criteria. Just to be a GG, in my opinion, doesn't automatically label you as a woman. It has more to do with what is inside, but it also has to do with the outside appearance. It is a total package.

Now, if you "aren't a woman"...what are you?

What I want is to be pretty (and I think I am) and to be accepted by my wife, whom I love very much. I don't think she will ever say that I am acting like a woman, but that doesn't matter, just as long as she accepts me, as I am, warts and all.

Penelope