First off, to those who I've been in contact with via PM, I apologize for not replying for months. The problem I'm facing has been the reason I haven't been online.
Before I met my wife, I had it in my mind that the woman I met and fell in love with would not only accept my crossdressing, but embrace it and participate in it. Two months after I started dating my future wife, I introduced her into my world of crossdressing. She accepted it, but was pretty neutral about it. She justified it by saying, "Fetishes are okay". While she didn't really participate, what really hooked me for her was when she bought be a bra and panty set for Valentine's Day. I thought for sure that this was the girl I wanted to be with for life. Even though she still wasn't really participating, I figured I could break her in.
After we married, I continued to crossdress from time to time. I could tell that she still wasn't 100% comfortable with it, so I mostly did it when I was on the road. There had been times that I considered leaving her because I wasn't able to be who I wanted to be, but I tried not to let it get to me. I still had it in the back of my mind that I'd be able to break her in. Whenever I came out in the house wearing, say, a skirt or something, she just kind of gave me a strange look, but never said anything demeaning or derogatory.
Over the past year, I've sworn off boxers, and have only worn panties. I haven't been wearing women's clothes around the house when she's home, but I do wear women's pajamas and nightgowns around the house when it gets later in the evening. She knows I still CD when I'm not around her, but hadn't really said anything about it... until about 2 months ago.
A little backstory: It was pretty well known before we got married that we would be having a kid or two. This year, it happened. She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy this past April. As we were driving home from lunch in July, we heard something on the radio joking about CDing. She kinda looked over at me, smirked, and made a snide comment. I really don't remember how the conversation went, but we got to talking about how she currently felt about my CDing. She said, "I feel a lot differently about it now than I did a year ago". I asked, "How so?" She said, "I really don't approve of it at all now that our son is here. I want you to set a good example for him." I didn't really show any type of reaction to this, but inside, my heart sank like a rock. After a few moments of pondering that, I asked, "well, why didn't you say something?" She replied, "you never asked."
Ever since that moment, I've seriously considered leaving her. The major dilemma is, of course, my son. I really don't want to leave him fatherless. I realize I'll only be able to see him on a rare occasion due to my job requiring me to be on the road several days a week. I also don't want him to go through what I did: growing up in a broken home. She knows that she upset me, but stands by what she said, and therefore has offered me no sympathy. It also feels very irrational to want to leave my wife for the sole purpose of wanting to crossdress, but my desire for that has never been stronger. While I love my son, and am otherwise happily married, I just feel a big hole in my life. I've almost completely stopped CDing, only occasionally doing it when I'm on the road (in my room only, never out-and-about).
I don't know if anyone here can help me, or give me the advice I need. I just needed to vent, and the fact that I know most of you will empathize will give me a little comfort. Thank you for listening.