Oh well . . .

[IwishIwasTracy]

I have to agree with Kim. My wife talks about me as being her Prince Charming, and Prince Charming never wore the dress in any Disney movies. 99% of the time I am willing to be her Prince Charming, but sometimes I need to be my Princess Charming and she doesn't get that. We all have this side of ourselves that we have learned to accept or it would crush us. My wife doesn't understand the enormous amount of pressure I am under in dealing with this. I am sure that most woman could not handle it if they had to deal with something like this, it never goes away, and if you ignore it, it just builds and builds until something breaks.

Tracy

[Mirani]

I am sure that most woman could not handle it if they had to deal with something like this,
Tracy

OH dear - I was with you up to this point.

Silly thing to say.

[kimmy p]

One of the cost cutting measures my company has been taking is to force everyone to take a week off every two months or so. It doesn't matter if you have the vacation time saved, or have to take it unpaid, you must take the week off. Usually when they do this, at least a few people have to work and this last week I was one of them. Fortunately, my task was to man the tech support hotline, and this can be done from home using my cell phone, so last week I spent the entire week at home with my wife. Each morning we walk my 6 year old daughter to school about a mile and a half or so away. Well, today I have to fly to Detroit so I told my wife "Sorry, I've got to get ready for my flight and so won't be walking with you."
"Why not? You have plenty of time since your flight isn't until almost noon." she asked me. I have no idea why, but her tone was more than a little belligerent. Clearly she was angry that I didn't intend to walk with her. I started to explain that since I was gonna fly as Kimberly, it takes a bit longer to get ready, and she interrupted me.
"Oh, I get it. That's more important to you than we are!" and then she turned and walked out of the room. I sat there kind of stunned, because I really didn't think that I had deserved that. Most mornings I would have been on the way to work and she would have walked my daughter by herself anyway, but like I often tell people - we TG's have our head trips and our wives have theirs. Well, nothing to be done about it now, at this point I'd rather put my wet finger into a light socket than proceed with my plans to fly as Kim. She told me two or three times "I'm sorry" as I put my stuff away and put on my guy clothes, but now I feel like a freak again and am depressed as hell. I was hoping for an amusing day and am instead stuck with a long boring day in airports and airplanes, all the while knowing that my wife resents me. Did I mention that I'm seriously depressed?

Sometimes people just have a bad day. She usually doesn't mind right? Just roll with the punches. Sounds like a typical FBM (Female bitchy moment). No offense there. Most GG's will admit to them.

[JulieC]

I started to explain that since I was gonna fly as Kimberly, it takes a bit longer to get ready, and she interrupted me.
"Oh, I get it. That's more important to you than we are!" and then she turned and walked out of the room. ... She told me two or three times "I'm sorry" as I put my stuff away and put on my guy clothes, but now I feel like a freak again

My marriage is incredible, and I love my wife dearly. She is 100% supportive of me crossdressing.

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage, and we constantly work at it.

A problem we have is that my wife might get upset with me about X, and instead want me to do Y. Then, if I stop doing X and do Y instead, she'll be upset for a different reason.

I've complained about this before; it's a no win scenario. If I do what she wants, she gets upset. If I don't do what she wants, she gets upset.

Thankfully, to date, X has never been crossdressing. I don't want to know what it feels like. I'm sorry you're facing it Kim.

[Ediosa]

Kim,
Nothing against you. Love your stories and love the person you are. So, take this at heart. You are sounding like your wife right now. Hell, you are sounding like my ex-wife. Therefore, you are acting like your wife was when she stated that statement. My lord, as my male side will say, "Get a pair". She did say that she was sorry 2 or 3 times. She understood she said something wrong and that it hurt you. She understands that, so take it for what it's worth. Plus, it wasn't about crossdressing, it was about her not being with you. You have no idea how many times I had to hear that same statement from my ex-wife that I didn't want to be with her when I had to go to work early, while I was in the Navy. It was my job for Pette's sake and our financial means. After calling her out on that, she just basically told me that she just wants to be with me. Makes perfect sense.

Your reaction is way, way and way overboard. I know we are crossdresser and we are trying to emulate a woman, but sometimes it becomes way to much. Think it though, accept her apology, tell her how you felt, and then hug her, kiss her and love her. That will make it the best.

Sorry so hard, but sometimes a girl has to hear it once in a while.


Elizabeth

[Angie G]

My wife has come on like that in the past. I think it's part of there job as wives.
Angie

[Rachel Morley]

I only have one thing to say ..... listen and take heed to the oh so very wise and very wonderfu, "Goddess of Near St. Louis." - the lovely Reine

[paulaN]

Here's a hug for ya Kim. (hug)!!!! I know you are bummed right now and there is nothing I can do about it. But I do have 2 cents to add. Let it go. Let what she said go. Leave it at that, and move forward. Do not dwell on it. If you do it will cause much more trouble than it is worth. So snap out of it Please!!!! I know I know it might take some time. Time heals all wounds. And you have been wounded. Be well my friend.

["Mary"]

Bummer Kim. I feel bad for you being disappointed, but I'm so jealous of your frequent and extensive outings one less shouldn't be such a biggie. Friction with your wife - I'm sad for you and figure with your open commo this ought to blow over soon, huh?

[AllieSummers]

Hi Kimberly,

We all have bad days. Maybe this was just a bad day for your wife. There might not be any deep seated resentment. I wouldn't read too much into it unless it becomes a pattern.

I bet it had less to do with your CDing than it did with her wishes to be with you. I know that my wife loves spending time with me and when I'm off on vacation or something she has a harder time letting go when I have to go back to work.

Don't be depressed. Just let her know that you love her and everything will be ok.

Kisses,

Allie

[Dutchess]

Anyway Kimberly...she may have been irrational and snapped a bit for a second, but it's probably because she enjoys the time as a family and walking to school together and was disappointed about that, not upset about Kimberly.
And I'm sure she really, truly is sorry.....

I have been accepting from the start but when I read your story , I could see what she was upset about ,,it wasn't Kimberly, she just wanted that last bit of time with you ,,even though you weren't going away forever or anything,, she just loves you .

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think the boundaries are always changing.

My wife tolerates, but does not accept my CDing. We have a "don't ask, don't tell" arrangement; she doesn't want to see me dressed.

Now she's moving the boundaries into the "blue zone".

I've been wearing men's cotton night shirts to bed for at least 15 years. Most of mine are so old they're practically worn out. They pretty much don't make night shirts for men any more. When I found some in the women's department of Kohl's, I bought a couple. Now even though these are technically women's, they are fire engine read and navy blue with patriotic designs on them. When my wife saw me wearing one of them, she told me it was too feminine. Now my 10 year old guy ones are too feminine also. There's no mistaking these for women's, but to keep the peace, I'm switching to men's PJs.

[Emily01]

[SIZE="3"]when i'm feeling down, beleaguered, fearful, put upon, even sad, ....whatever.....i try to list the things i'm grateful for. it's kind of like balancing the emotional checkbook. for example it's hard to be grateful and resentful at the same time - in fact, it's impossible. it doesn't make the issue go away but it offers perspective that my feelings don't allow for.[/SIZE]

[FluffyPersian]

Kimberly,

You're one of the nicest people on this forum, so I hate to say anything critical, but I think your wife is in the right here. As your wife asked, is flying as Kimberly more important than spending time with your daughter? It's fine to use your travel as an opportunity to dress, but then why not dress when you get to the hotel? It must be fun to fly as a woman, but your family's needs should get priority.

But whatever you do, please don't beat yourself up. You're a wonderful, sensitive person, and you deserve to love yourself.

[DinaMature]

Kim, you are usually such a beam of sunlight in our world... I am very sorry for your current funk.
I'm sure I'm joining a chorus of many voices, wishing you all the best and hoping this is just a brief event.

Take care, and good luck.

[suchacutie]

First, I, like many here, admire you, your courage, and your successes in exploring your feminine side. Hugs!

Now to the point: emotions. After 36 years married, I've finally learned that events like you just experienced are not exclusive to CDing. My opinion: she wanted and needed you with her just then. Why is not necessarily important and maybe even she doesn't know. For some reason, I will bet anything that in the 12 to 24 hours before that her expectation was that you would be with her, and for whatever reason she needed that emotionally.

This is a terrific opportunity to explain that you understand NOW that she wanted you there and that you are sorry you didn't understand that at the time, or even that you didn't realize you had raised her expectations that you would be there. Hey, she clearly loves you and needs you! That's soooo positive. It's just bad luck that the one thing that was 'taking' you from her at the time was becoming Kim. I am sure that ANY activity that she perceived at that moment as being "optional" would have elicited the same response.

Sit down and talk about it with her. Tell her yet again that nothing is more important than she is, and that you are proud to walk with her. Ask why is was important at that moment so that you can not miss the signs again.

I think it's an important conversation that every long-term married has had at one time or another. I sure have, and it was long before Tina arrived.

All my best!
tina

[robyn1114]

Hopefully you got it all worked out after you got back

[Chari]

Warm girlfriend hugs to you Kim! So you've hit another "speed bump" in your life! You've had tougher times before - you have survived them all and probably some with the help of your wonderful wife! You can do it again! Your wife may have had a twinge of loneliness thinking she will be alone once more while you travel about being Kim. Look at all the positive aspects of your life - great wife, kids, family, still employed, healthy, etc. - and be thankful! Keep your communications open, accept her apology, and do something very special for her. Only you know what she likes best. You'll both feel better for it!

[Dena]

Sounded to me like she was disappointed that you chose not to spend those few minutes with them, more than "who you are".

[Tara_G]

Cheer up Kimberly, Freescale laid me off after 11 years so they could replace out entire mgmt team in China.

Things could be a lot worse.
I also have a wife and sometimes we (TG's) don't take the time to treat them how we would like to be treated as a lady.

Take her some flowers and watch a chickflick or something.

p.s. I tried to hook up with you before but you must have been busy.