I hope the guys don't mind, but I got the idea from them, Thanks brothers,
OK, ask us anything as long as it doesn't break the forum rules. THIS WILL BE QUESTION AND ANSWER ONLY, [SIZE=4]NO COMMENTS. [SIZE=3]So ask away we'll answer the best we can. Questions will be answered by any girl that' s, Full time or Transisioning, post op or pre-op[/SIZE][/SIZE]
Last edited by Joan Merrie; 09-14-2009 at 06:47 AM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Tammy and me, not your usual couple
:JoanMerrie:Yes I admit it I'm a trans rabbit.
Simply me.
How do you get your brain hard wired, so no switching back an forth?
Is it true that alcohol helps you stay male (in the brain)?
What can we do to change the Standards of Care to fit the changing times?
Why is the suicide rate for the T community so horrablely high?
Why did my bell go off so late in life?
Love Breena
?1. For me there isn't any back and forth, I just don't ware my good cloths when I'm at work.Originally Posted by BreenaDion
How do you get your brain hard wired, so no switching back an forth?
Is it true that alcohol helps you stay male (in the brain)?
What can we do to change the Standards of Care to fit the changing times?
Why is the suicide rate for the T community so horrablely high?
Why did my bell go off so late in life?
Love Breena
?2 I never have heard about that
?3 I think they need to include the younger generation so help can be found for them sooner.
?4 Lack of support, be it family or friends. and unemployment.
?5 Most likely like me, the lack of information. Perhaps just got tired of living a lie.
Last edited by Joan Merrie; 09-14-2009 at 05:22 PM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Tammy and me, not your usual couple
:JoanMerrie:Yes I admit it I'm a trans rabbit.
Simply me.
Everything comes with practice and time.
Never heard that one before, I can't think of a single thing that alcohol helpsIs it true that alcohol helps you stay male (in the brain)?
If everyone went overseas for their surgery like I did, the surgeons here would force immediate changes, nothing works like a hit in the pocketbook.What can we do to change the Standards of Care to fit the changing times?
I can't answer or explain for others.Why is the suicide rate for the T community so horrablely high?
It happens, there's no time limit or alarm clock to it, plus it's easier now since there's a lot more information available.Why did my bell go off so late in life?
Karen
Being an MTF myself. I've asked myself these questions over and over. Now I ask them of you.
How far do you need to go to feel comfortable with yourself?
Are you doing this in order to be accepted by society? Or yourself?
Realizing that (short of an act of god) no matter what you change about yourself, you will never really be a woman. Can you be content with that reality?
Be safe. Be smart.
Dawn Marrie
CANCER IS A BITCH SO YOU HAVE TO BE MORE OF A BITCH TO BEAT IT.
How do you get your brain hard wired, so no switching back an forth?
Is it true that alcohol helps you stay male (in the brain)?
What can we do to change the Standards of Care to fit the changing times?
Why is the suicide rate for the T community so horribly high?
Why did my bell go off so late in life?
Love Breena
brain wiring...once you've been on one side or the other for long enough period of time, it stays put. I vividly remember the first time I did something and didn't think about how "he or she" would do it. I got into a car and smoothed my "skirt" under me as I sat...even tho I was wearing slacks.
booze... wouldn't know...never touch the stuff...never seen it do anyone any bit of good tho
SoC...i think the SoC needs an update. It has been a long time since it was written and for the most part its still a safe pattern. The problem is more people are finding the path of least resistance to "get out of their box" and that in its self doesn't follow the SoC...
Suicide...I think its like one of those volcano experiments we all did in elementary school...only no hole in the top for all the pressure to blow out of. We bottle up inside ourselves all the pressure we're under and some can't cope with it or funnel it out in a safe manner.
Chimes...Your bell went off late because you kept reaching over and hitting the snooze alarm...
Jenn
Last edited by Jennifer in CO; 09-14-2009 at 02:29 PM.
I knew that i am a women as fare as i can remember in my childhood years.
Family didn´t supported me,neither people who knew me.
Than you suppress your emotions and you become what others want-not what you truly want to be!
I waited till my 33.
I think Diane´s story ll give you many answers to your questions,her story helped me a lot.
Nicky
TRANSGENDER / SEXUAL UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT IS
link http://www.drdouglasousterhout.com/transgender.htm
I want to clarify that although we get a label that is transgender or Transsexual, that's all it is, a label, we are women, it's a simple fact, we have trauma to sort out our bodies and some are more lucky with appearance than others, but we are women. Some people have the trauma of having a very masculine body, 6ft tall and 180lbs in weight, but their mind is still female.
There is a very sad, but high suicide rate, my aim is to try to help and to educate people about why we are who we are. There is a lot of information on the internet that is cross referenced by many web sites, this page is no different. It is here to help you find information to help you. By using this page you will understand more about yourself if you think you have a gender problem and what is happening to you.
WHY US
A simple statement, gender is in the brain, thats it, all I know is your know who you are, so do I, what is the difference if the brain is the gender, not sure, I guess you know how you should look, behave and feel, I still can't say I understand about me, so how can we educate people to understand when it is so difficult even for ourselves. Yet my aim is to do just that, to help us to help ourselves, to tell our stories and at least give people a better understanding of who we are, myself and personal story, I am a women, there is no doubt about my sexuality, I had a very traumatic teenage life, but I know who I am inside of me. The outside has been the battle, to make sure that what I see in the mirror is what I see inside my heart. You will have no idea of how gender can play with your mind if you are born correctly, but it is one of our most basic instincts in our survival, it is a compulsion to be ourselves.
TEENAGERS
If only I was a teenager again and had the knowledge I have now, I would have changed my gender then, I would not have worried so much about what other people think about me, I did know I was a women as young as three years old, (I am Diane from the previous pages here). I had parents that would not understand, but the idea of these sites is to help parents and other people to understand. As a child you do know that you are female, your body was born male, but the brain is female and even now there is little you can do to find out this as a fact. If you have a female brain and a male body, you just know that your female, you hate the way you look to start with and feel a disgust at your male body, I used to admire women with amazing figures and wish I looked like that. We all have different ways of identifying it, understanding it, and then making a decision to do something about it.
PARENTS
Dear parents, your child is not a freak because they know they are female, listen to them, my parents have only just started to understand now, and they are in their 60's. They did not listen to me and made my life horrid, they were sarcastic and intolerant, my life would have been so different with their help. Sit and talk with them, take them to the proper councilors and doctors that can help them, they need you, they really do. They will be very lonely, probably suicidal and even hating themselves because they do not understand what is going on. Trust me, we don't actually understand anymore than you do why we feel the way we do, we are just women with the wrong body, if we had a cancer growth you would remove it, that's all a penis is to us, its a cancerous growth that needs to be removed as part of the process of living a normal life.
SUICIDE
Suicidal feelings are generally quite strong in the gendered women, as with all people in society its not always the case. The confusion of being in the wrong body can be devasting, fears of people and prejudice are also probable in your mind. I have lived my life now as a normal women in society for 15 years, I still get days and these are quite often where I think people are talking about or staring at me. The truth is they probably are staring, but my reasons for what I am thinking and what they think is probably very different. I do get told I am attractive, but the feelings are still inside of me that I am different. I have had many times in my life where suicide had been a strong thought, it does still come and go because we do have complex lives.
Up until this operation to change my face, I didn´t want to go on, the feelings were intense inside and we do have days when they become overpowering and we lose the strength to fight, but we have to go on or there was no point in starting our fight to be normal. Even though I have had the gift of being seen as attractive, it is no less painful, I am still insecure, still feel like the odd one out in society, but we are no more odd one out than the larger person in our society, or the black person in the white society, we all have to deal with society and it´s veiws. What ever reason we have to justify thoughts of suicide, we have to fight to continue and to work to desolve prejudice on all aspects of life.
I have had 3 attempts at suicide, my desire to survive was higher than the desire to die, I didn´t want it enough, take people out of our society and just be yourself, would you then want to die, if you still do, then it is not the gender that is the problem, if we could have a prejudice free society, I would be the happiest women alive. Today there are many places to get information on gender, so look hard to find the correct help, it is there, usually on the internet, the high street doctors are not that up on gender, or didn´t seem to be able to give me that much advice.
If you are reading this and contemplating suicide, then it´s not a place to be, I have been where you are, tears rolling down my face, tablets in my hand, and the room pulsing as my heart starts to slow down as I was drunk and dying at the time, I had taken the tablets. I managed to get a perspective by thinking about my children and clinging onto the fact the they would need me at some point in their lives, I did manage to pick up the phone and call a friend, they advised me to vomit and get the tablets out of my system, which is what I did, they called a doctor and lucky for me I managed to recover. I had 2 weeks where my heart was slowing and speeding up, but it leveled of and I am here today.
Happiness and laughter make things feel better, join any type of friendship group of people, whether it be a church, sports centre, womens institute, what ever surround yourself with nice people, I play keyboards and I have joined in a jamming session, I play every week, I have a passion for music, so I use it as my outlet to make me feel better when I am having a blue moment. I have a fantastic circle of friends, I have entrusted them with my feelings, they are my councilors, they keep me strong when it is tough, get that network in place for yourself. Getting a network of friends is something you have to work at, but make it happen, go out, they don´t come to you. The picture below does reflect how I feel now, the words are apt to me, love life, I never thought I would, but I do have so much laughter now.
Never take tablets like paracetamal, if you survive the attempt, they can give you liver damage that is not recoverable from, this in turn can give you a slow painful death, sometimes many years. GET HELP, talk to anyone, your friends will always love you, pick up the phone, how would you feel if a best friend just quite? you would have wished they had called you, they will come to you in the moment if things are that bad. Before you take anything, please go and get some sleep, if you have been drinking sober up, these two things alone may be aiding your feelings, all 3 of my attempts were alcohol related, I only drink in company now and very moderate, it changes my perspective, so long as I am sober then I can keep my feelings under control.
MAN AND PREJUDICE
My father was a very macho man, I am aware that their are men out there that think we are strange and weird people. Please understand that as masculine as you are, we are feminine, we did not asked to have a brain that was the incorrect gender, you are very masculine to enjoy your body, we are very feminine and want the same freedom as yourselves. We do not try to hurt people, we are not molesters of any kind, we are simply women that need an operation to correct our bodies.
WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO TO CHANGE IT
When we go through changing our bodies after teens we have to do a lot of things.
We have to go through electrolysis, this is to remove any traces of facial hair
HRT (HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY) hormones will have to be taken for life to balance the body
Our voices can only be changed really by speech therapy, once the voice has broken it has broken, its very difficult to operate on
GRS, (GENDER REASIGEMENT SURGERY) surgery to correct the male organ to female, this creates a vagina
FFS, (FACIAL FEMINISATION SURGERY) correction of facial features that need to be feminized for a more easy life
Breast enhancement, not all people have to have breast enhancement, some breasts develop after hormones are started to correct the body imbalance
Some people have to have a tracheal shave, that means to remove the adams apple
The above can be very costly and take many years to achieve, you need to plan to do this, you cannot just decide that you will change on a whim. You will have to let your nearest and closest friends know in advance, family can be difficult but not always.
Even though you knew you were on the right road, did you find the whole idea of possible transitioning scarey?
Thanks Debs
Simple answer: Yes.Even though you knew you were on the right road, did you find the whole idea of possible transitioning scarey?
Thanks Debs
Complicated answer: Even though deep in my mind I know that I'm right about my decision to transition there are times a fear comes into my mind. Not because I'm afraid of doing a mistake but more so what am I'm doing to everyone around me. How my choice has effected their lives. My transition has an effect on the lives of many not just me. It is the closest to me but there are other issues that surround the matter. My wife, who I love from my whole heart. What I'm doing to her is what scares me. Because of my choice and desire I'm rubbing her the husband she once married.
The biggest fear I have because of my transition is that I'm afraid of losing my wife, afraid of not being able to give her what she desires.
I look like a Girl
With Makeup on my Face
In Reality
A cute Kitty I am!
Yes, and still do. The most scarey thing is what I'm doing to my family and friends. The say that there ok, but it's hard on them. After all I've been dealing with this for 32 years, they have been dealing with it since last May.Even though you knew you were on the right road, did you find the whole idea of possible transitioning scarey?
Thanks Debs
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Tammy and me, not your usual couple
:JoanMerrie:Yes I admit it I'm a trans rabbit.
Simply me.
Scariest thing I've ever done in my life, even as sure as I was about having to do it, but you find ways to deal with it.Even though you knew you were on the right road, did you find the whole idea of possible transitioning scarey?
Thanks Debs
Karen
My god yes. i had no idea how my family or friends or work mates would react. but this is who i am. i had no choiceEven though you knew you were on the right road, did you find the whole idea of possible transitioning scarey?
Thanks Debs
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Yes it was scary,but not nearly as scary as the alternative.... Living a lie.Living as someone who I wasn't, or one that I could never function as.Even though you knew you were on the right road, did you find the whole idea of possible transitioning scarey?
Thanks Debs
Kelly
No... I could finally be me, no more hiding, no more false bravado. The only thing I found scary was telling my (now ex) wife.
When I started HRT, and when the levels were adjusted.
To help.. I take a prognova with each meal rather than all in the morning as the doc suggested would be ok.
I also take the spiro in the morning (first thing I do when I get up).
I mostly put the sachet of sandrena on last thing at night ... however if I have had a late one and get up late the following day I'll put one on directly after the shower as the absorption is quick and can make me feel a lot more 'alert'
Progesterone I used to take at night, I now take in the morning with the spiro. Keeping the medications regular and at regular intervals seems to be the answer for me.
Can't go on with what...? Life...? My life is that of a woman, that's not going to change ever.
What did I do to keep going...? I lived my life... I guess I don't understand that question.. maybe it would be more better targetted at a CD that has decided to be CD in public all the time... rather than a TS who is transitioning (I am a firm believer we will never stop transitioning, we may get to a state where we feel we need no more, but life is a journey that stops with death. When you start to transition you are re-born... the journey restarts, and continues until your death.)
Last edited by GypsyKaren; 09-29-2009 at 08:25 AM.
Be happy, be true, be strange!
Shells
xx
One day you will seek love and be sorry that you threw mine away.
If you're not truthful to others, how can you be true to yourself?
Michelle on MySpace | Michelle's Blog | Club Shots | Shells' Shots!
Yes. I admit I started in High School, I had to go from one school to another, but I was a GIRL there! I learned there how to be a teenage girl, did all the experimenting with makeup and fashion and shoes, did the whole after-school job as a waitress and salesgirl, then went to college as a girl.Even though you knew you were on the right road, did you find the whole idea of possible transitioning scarey?
Thanks Debs
Being the only girl in some of my engineering classes was ... interesting. There was a lot of feeling that women should be in the 'softer sciences' and not hard science like engineering. Some of my classmates didn't want to partner with 'the girl' or 'the skirt', especially when I showed cleavage. Some though women should be in college for one reason only: to get her Mrs. degree, and should, if she actually needed to work, stay in the 'female' occupations, like secretary. It would have been much easier if I had stayed a guy, but I wasn't happy that way.
So yes, it's been difficult, but I have supportive (well, mostly) relatives, which helps a lot.
Lady K. (Whose lunchtime is now over, and needs to get back to work!)
Snooze alarm. that explains eeeeeverything. I laughed so hard. thanks.
I hated going back and forth. It was the worst thing for me. I had to get over the fear of what every one thinks of me and the fear of losing my famaly,freinds and job. I do the best job I can of keeping it simple. When some one laughs or makes a snear I just smile and go on.
I've never heard about about alcohol makin you one thing or another.
#3 supporting the transgenderd community. Quite tring to cure us.
#4 I have worked as a counseler and have been there myself. There was no help when I was young. I was told I was diffrerant thats all I got. Theres a lot more help now days, but it's still hard. People make jokes, laugh, comments. Learning to acept or how to deal with them is hard. The possibalty of loseing freinds,famaly,job is another reason. Being caught in between as a transgenerd also. There is a lot to work through. But with all that said there is wonderful sites like this one and so many others. It's a start
#5 every one is differant some come out early some come out late some never come out. Being scared being ashamed this will go away thing.
Debrah yes it is still scary but not near as much. I have so many that support me in the last six weeks that I have went full time. I go to the gym and go into the male dressing room as a female and change I get the looks but no one has ever said any things bad to me yet. As I get better with my dress and make-up I get called mam more often. The stores have realy gotton to know me and they have been very helpfull.
Last edited by Sandra; 09-26-2009 at 09:09 AM. Reason: merged consecutive posts, use the edit function as multiposting is not allowed on the forum
Lisa don't let your age be a factor, your endocriniologist will know what is best for you. I started HRT at the same age that you are, I'm 48 now and have been on HRT for three years, the hormones will still do a lot for you at your age so don't worry about it and best of luck to you at your appointment.
Joan Lynn
Just a girl stranded on her little red island amongst a lovely sea of blue.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, for those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss
when i got my diagnosis i just went full time my gf helped by removing all my male cloths so after that i had no choice
never heard of that. but alcohol will impeded the estrogen
there fine just the way they are
for some of us we lose everything friends family work, now with no were to go no money to support ourselves or to get the hormones no where to live but the streets add fear the unknown we are scared little girls with no future no hope many Dreams but no way to get them what would you do ???
i started at 44 is that late ?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
1. How do you get your brain hard wired, so no switching back an forth?
By definition, to be "Hard wired" means to be set in one way, fundamentally so. Therefore, one cannot hard wire their own brain. Switching back and forth is normal. It takes deep introspection and perhaps counseling to find real answers. Take it a day at a time.
2. Is it true that alcohol helps you stay male (in the brain)?
Actually, the case is quite the opposite; Many studies have shown that alcohol increases levels of estrogen, though these studies usually focus more on this and its correlation with breast cancer. Just try googling "Alcohol and Estrogen." Plenty of articles there.
3. What can we do to change the Standards of Care to fit the changing times?
My knowledge in this field is limited at best. So, because I am 18 and full of spirit, I say ACTIVISM!!!
4. Why is the suicide rate for the T community so horrablely high?
Well, I can only speak for myself, but the burden of keeping transgenderism a secret is very hard. one feels alone, freakish, strange. Perhaps with more education, and far less bigotry, these terrible statistics will decrease.
5. Why did my bell go off so late in life?
Hmmm, my bell has rung as long as I can remember, so I can't really answer this. Perhaps denial?
6. Even though you knew you were on the right road, did you find the whole idea of possible transitioning scary?
I'm terrified, and I've only just begun.
7. When you think of FtM's, do you find it hard to imagine why we need/want to be men?
Not at all. My wanting to be a woman doesn't stop me from realizing that they feel the same pain we all do.
8. did any of you MtF's ever have doubts about whether or not you truely are a transexual?
If so how did you deal with those doubts, and what made you finally come to the realization? Was therapy the only way to reach that answer?
Hmmm......I've always felt that I wanted to be a woman, but when I finally figured out what "Transgender (or rather, sexual) meant, I wasn't sure that was me. It took a lot of introspection and research. After all of that, I though "I wanna be a girl, and I always have, everything else be damned."
9. Do you get mood swings? and if so how do you cope with them?
Yes, but I think that stems more from my depression than anything else. I have it clinical depression, so yeah...But it's been good as of late!
10. Are any of you into dudes? It seems like 99% of the 'dealing with so' type posts here are about wives/female partners. For those who are into dudes (there has to be some!), dp you feel outnumbered here?
I am attracted to women both in a masculine way and in a feminine way. As for men, I feel like I would have to be a woman first. So, I could be a Bi woman or a Straight man.
11. Did you at any point think "I can't go on with this"?
Well, I've only just got on the transition train, but so far, no, I haven't. I am determined to see it through. But hell, talk to me in 5-10 years. I'll probably have a different answer.
12. Should a person at my age (45) just go for the T-blockers and not push so much for the estrol? I will ask doc also but would like thoughts from others. I think estrol will not be that effective at my age. Am I wrong?
Ask an Endocrinologist or a doctor, I would have no idea, lol.
[Btw, sorry about the simple quoting here, my internet, for some reason, refuses to load the page when I click on the quote button. >.<]
It is an extremely difficult decision to make, both accepting that you are trans and that you should live in the opposite gender permanently. If you change your mind and detransition, or are wrestling with the decision to transition or not, this is a really dangerous time in regard to suicide attempts. (Refer to the case of Christine Daniels)
Being dumped by a best friend, (BFF) or SO, at the time you are emotionally vulnerable, partly because your new personality in the new gender is not fully formed and functional yet, has been a factor in this. (Refer to the case of Sydney Glennie and my own.)
The art of suicide prevention is of low priority to most professionals, who regard it now too much as a choice of the sufferer which is not their business, and compared to the 1960's, it appears to be a lost art. The provision of emergency psychiatric services for suicidal persons and ready access to kindly, high quality emergency support services, is often poor, spotty, (not always readily or at all available, in a timely way), or non-existent, perhaps due to system overload. This makes the plight of anyone driven to suicide, more difficult and lonely than it ought to be, in rich countries with a highly developed civilization. That is a shame.
In my case, a suicide attempt resulted from a known side effect of a testosterone blocker I was prescribed as a part of transition and preparation for SRS. This was understood too late. The solution was to switch to another such drug, and quietly let mother nature heal the physical injuries after medical care proved inconclusive.
That is a good question. In my case, sex change was not generally known about when I was very young. Later it was unthinkable, so I repressed the idea. Until a couple of decades ago, it would have been treated, if at all, by brutal attempts to stamp out one of the symptoms of transsexualism, crossdressing, neglecting the underlying transsexualism. By the time it was a viable option I was about 30 years old, and it was still rare and so widely misunderstood, that the whole thing was kept secret for the sake of those who underwent SRS then.
Originally Posted by Julia26,
"did any of you MtF's ever have doubts about whether or not you truly are a transsexual?"
Yes, See above. Only specialized therapy reveals the truth in many cases, or in my case, confirmed it.
Yes. See above.
Much the same here. Frustrated by it all, I started dressing as a woman full-time, on my own, shortly before going for the therapy with a gender specialist, which led eventually to SRS. I needed professional confirmation I was transsexual, but had come to the conclusion I probably was, after nearly a lifetime of crossdressing. i also needed professional help with the process of transition, for it is too hard to do alone.
Last edited by Beth-Lock; 01-06-2013 at 08:53 AM.
Are any of you into dudes? It seems like 99% of the 'dealing with so' type posts here are about wives/female partners. For those who are into dudes (there has to be some!), dp you feel outnumbered here?
Derek
Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man? Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi?
Nope, I don't feel outnumbered at all, though I prefer men to "dudes."
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
I like men and woman. but right now men are not on top of my list until i heal anyways then gentlemen start your engines
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Oh, I know we're not outnumbered. I think the reason that there are so many posts like that is because it's such a thorny issue. I don't have that issue so I can't really speak to it. Then again, dating guys can be a thorny issue too, if you're not into chasers. I suppose it's because we like to keep that serious girl talk on closed channels.
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