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Thread: Ask a MTF transsexual

  1. #326
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    Transition. or is there something more to do. nether,

    Part of my difference really , i did not change from male to female or female to male could not happen , when your intersexed your both . as is my case, how you live or dress can be , i can dress in ether clothes & that does not define who i am,

    i know im accepted as a normal woman yet is that the sum of who i am, of cause not, being different gives you more to work with, its about accepting your self being happy in who you are, & to be content not striveing to be other than who you are,

    As to is there something next, no i surpose you mean can i change more of myself or who i am , maybe be more like someone else be more beautyfull have more of the looks that many women have,

    Well it has crossed my mind & would that be really who i am, say haveing FFS. people know who i am Jos has known me for 37 years she knows full well what i look like, & so do others going back 56 years, & people have accepted who i am what i look like so would haveing those changes make any difference, look at my avatar would it be worth it, yes i know male facial features, & at my age i say no,
    Jos loved me for what i looked like then & now she allso understands who i am & that means being a woman who is just that,

    Though to explain, my name of noel shows my maleness & noeleena shows my femaleness, so what would i need when i pretty much have all i need ,

    ...noeleena...

  2. #327
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    @Saffron

    At the "end" of my transition, when all was complete, I felt as though all was right with the world. I had inner peace. Then I found out just how little I actually knew about being a woman.Transition is one thing, learning to be a woman is something entirely different. You have made it through the gauntlet now the education begins. You must realize though, I transitioned in the days before the internet. We didn't have all the resources you do today.
    Last edited by Jorja; 10-09-2012 at 11:40 AM.

  3. #328
    Junior Member Danielle19's Avatar
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    Just out of curiosity before transition did anyone like women the later in the transition start being attracted to men? Or any combination of that? I guess what I'm asking is if the treatments change your "orientation"?

  4. #329
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    It didn't change my orientation, but it helped me accept my attraction to men. I was and divorced twice to women all by the age of 35. Now at the age of 38 I have been with my boyfriend a little over a year.

  5. #330
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    What to do, where to start, how to cope

    Well I really don't know where to start. I've felt I should have been a girl from about ten or so, was told and guided to act and behave a male. It gets harder and harder every year. I'm 41 now and very fit and healthy but feel time has run out. If I were to get diagnosed transgender or having gender dysphoria then my job and career are gone (regulated). Members of my family dislike people who are gay and would disown me in a second so I never let my guard down, if I did all would be gone. I cry quite often and have managed so far (have cried hard in the car driving often and teared up on the airlines) not to lose it in public for the most part. How do other people cope with the pain.

  6. #331
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Steph, you don't say what part of the world you live in so I don't know what hope to offer you abut your job etc.

    Some members of your family might surprise you - my father surprised me.

    If you are only 41 then time definitely has not run out but from your words I get the impression that you are not currently ready to transition.

    In your place, knowing what I know now, I would have sought help from a qualified Gender Therapist to help me to sort out what I should be doing with my life and how to work through the pain of Gender Dysphoria.

    Unfortunately, I did not know 16 years ago what I know now, so I lived through another 14 years before I got to the stage where I had to choose between life and death. As I told one doctor - I decided there was more future in living so I came out as TS and began my RLE
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

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  7. #332
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    Hey, the problem is I don't know what to do, how to move forward. Part of the problem is that I have two children and pay child support. Now if I lose the job (will happen) then medical insurance is gone and so is the paycheck and child support becomes difficult. My Ex does not have a good paying job and so does need the help. I live in Texas just out of Dallas. I feel as though I'm going to lose my mind at times, even had a knife in hand having serious thoughts about calling it a night, not something I'm proud of. I work in a government regulated position and in their rules any diagnosis of transgender or gender dysphoria is immediate grounds for dismissal, their words not mine :-( How do other people manage who are unable to move forward or lose it all. Buy the way, the Ex would make sure I never see the kids again, that is one area she is very firm for this sort of thing. I know this since she had told me a story about a person she had known that was proceeding with hormones for MTF and the Ex made great effort to inform me of her thoughts on the subject, in short, the kids will be gone. Now if I do nother the question is, will I make it to the end, when I thinks of this that's when I cry again and the cycle continues.

  8. #333
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    Is it possible to start HRT and still be able to pass as a man at times? I am 55 and have too much to lose to fully transition and must live at least some of the time as a man, but I would like to get at least a little bit more feminine if possible. When I am spending time as a woman I want to look more like one. Is this even possible, to go halfway? Is it all or nothing?
    All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?

  9. #334
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    The physical changes of the hormones often are not as great as we would like, especially when we are older, so it is possible. There are some people that do take hormones without fully transitioning.
    However there can be some mental changes to and it could make it harder to accept still having to live part of the time as man.
    Last edited by arbon; 01-03-2013 at 12:02 AM.

  10. #335
    Aspiring Member TNRobin's Avatar
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    God, I hope so. I'm 51 and the more time that I dress the more that I want to. I have a appointment next week with a therapist, so I'll probably drive her to drink. But like yourself I have to live in the male world as well. I have no idea how my family would take it, but I own my own business doing custom work on firearms, so as you can imagine the TS/CD world and this one clash a great deal...tons of testosterone versus as little as possible!
    If I had any idea that therapy, hair removal, hair transplants, doctors and medications were so expensive I would have planned to be rich first.

  11. #336
    Member Stephanie-L's Avatar
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    Steph, The one thing you need to do is see a therapist. There are several in the area (I live in Fort Worth, I see one in Arlington). As to your job, I find that very odd. The only place where that could be an issue would be the military. Otherwise, I doubt the government would allow that kind of discrimination. If it would be helpful, I can put you in touch with a lawyer here in Texas who has a lot of experience in dealing with Transgender and all of the issues we face. She can deal with things like the job and the ex. If you would like, please feel free to PM me, life does get easier if you can talk to someone. Much luck to you...........Stephanie

  12. #337
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by arbon View Post
    The physical changes of the hormones often are not as great as we would like, especially when we are older, so it is possible. There are some people that do take hormones without fully transitioning.
    However there can be some mental changes to and it could make it harder to accept still having to live part of the time as man.
    I think that deep down inside I know that I am still resisting because I just cannot imagine some of the things I would have to do and the changes,and the fear of what I could lose, but I also know that I am losing that battle. Still I have lived with this for 50 years so far. Keeping a secret that long makes it hard to tell the world the truth. I know I have to do something but I am not ready to go all the way just yet either.
    I think I am afraid because it is getting more difficult every day.
    Last edited by Angela Campbell; 01-07-2013 at 11:44 AM.
    All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?

  13. #338
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    Policy

    [QUOTE=Stephanie-L, yes the government policy on any diagnosis for gender dysphoria is immediate. You see, I'm certified through the US government as a crew member and in their regulations it states very clearly that any tans-gender/gender dysphoria condition is grounds for immediate grounding and medical certificate revocation, it's very clear in black and white. I'm getting to the point where I don't really know if or how much longer I can do this. I cry about this so much and it's getting harder to hide it. I get very, very depressed I can't have relationships since I wish not for people to see the real me. The marriage I had went very bad since I was unable to be the man she thought she had married, but couldn't bring myself to tell her the reasons why since I knew her thoughts and idea's on this sort of thing before hand and knew she would stop me seeing the children. There may come a point where I just break down one day and it's all over then or I in a fit of despair do something stupid see no reason to go on. I should not be curling up in the middle of the living room on my knee's, crying. I know this is very unhealthy but can't figure out, how to get out.

  14. #339
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    Sorry but the reply went somewhere else but Stephanie-L, yes the government policy on any diagnosis for gender dysphoria is immediate. You see, I'm certified through the US government as a crew member and in their regulations it states very clearly that any tans-gender/gender dysphoria condition is grounds for immediate grounding and medical certificate revocation, it's very clear in black and white. I'm getting to the point where I don't really know if or how much longer I can do this. I cry about this so much and it's getting harder to hide it. I get very, very depressed I can't have relationships since I wish not for people to see the real me. The marriage I had went very bad since I was unable to be the man she thought she had married, but couldn't bring myself to tell her the reasons why since I knew her thoughts and idea's on this sort of thing before hand and knew she would stop me seeing the children. There may come a point where I just break down one day and it's all over then or I in a fit of despair do something stupid see no reason to go on. I should not be curling up in the middle of the living room on my knee's, crying. I know this is very unhealthy but can't figure out, how to get out.

  15. #340
    Member Stephanie-L's Avatar
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    Steph, I suspect either your info is out of date, or the company you work for is behind the times. If you are talking about the FAA, then they have changed their requirements regarding Trans folk. Check out this article
    http://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews...2%80%9D-pilots

    There was also a thread posted here some time ago about transgender pilots, etc. Unless you are actually in the military, I would bet that things have changed in the last few years regarding the government and trans folk. I still say that you need to be in therapy to help you figure out how you want to deal with the issues you face. Also, it really may be helpful to talk to a lawyer who knows the issues trans folks face. The offer still stands, please feel free to message me, I live in the same area you do, perhaps I can point you at some local resources............Stephanie

  16. #341
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    Quote Originally Posted by BreenaDion View Post
    Why is the suicide rate for the T community so horribly high?
    It is an extremely difficult decision to make, both accepting that you are trans and that you should live in the opposite gender permanently. If you change your mind and detransition, or are wrestling with the decision to transition or not, this is a really dangerous time in regard to suicide attempts. (Refer to the case of Christine Daniels)

    Being dumped by a best friend, (BFF) or SO, at the time you are emotionally vulnerable, partly because your new personality in the new gender is not fully formed and functional yet, has been a factor in this. (Refer to the case of Sydney Glennie and my own.)

    The art of suicide prevention is of low priority to most professionals, who regard it now too much as a choice of the sufferer which is not their business, and compared to the 1960's, it appears to be a lost art. The provision of emergency psychiatric services for suicidal persons and ready access to kindly, high quality emergency support services, is often poor, spotty, (not always readily or at all available, in a timely way), or non-existent, perhaps due to system overload. This makes the plight of anyone driven to suicide, more difficult and lonely than it ought to be, in rich countries with a highly developed civilization. That is a shame.

    In my case, a suicide attempt resulted from a known side effect of a testosterone blocker I was prescribed as a part of transition and preparation for SRS. This was understood too late. The solution was to switch to another such drug, and quietly let mother nature heal the physical injuries after medical care proved inconclusive.

    Quote Originally Posted by BreenaDion View Post
    Why did my bell go off so late in life?
    That is a good question. In my case, sex change was not generally known about when I was very young. Later it was unthinkable, so I repressed the idea. Until a couple of decades ago, it would have been treated, if at all, by brutal attempts to stamp out one of the symptoms of transsexualism, crossdressing, neglecting the underlying transsexualism. By the time it was a viable option I was about 30 years old, and it was still rare and so widely misunderstood, that the whole thing was kept secret for the sake of those who underwent SRS then.

    Originally Posted by Julia26,
    "did any of you MtF's ever have doubts about whether or not you truly are a transsexual?"

    Yes, See above. Only specialized therapy reveals the truth in many cases, or in my case, confirmed it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke Ashley View Post
    Did you identify as a crossdresser until you found out about being a transsexual? Basically im asking if you started out thinking you were a crossdresser and then later found signs that lead you to believe you were a transsexual?
    Yes. See above.

    Quote Originally Posted by EnglishRose View Post
    Did anyone who didn't start transition until after their twenties, think back and not really have a time in their childhood where they really wanted to be a girl?

    Reason I ask is I'm trying to work out what dressing and gender identity is to me, and I'm easily led at times so have fit an article about TS people very, very closely to myself. However I don't recall feeling like the wrong gender until I examined why I was dressing and why I felt so much better (nonsexually) recently (though I have never had an attachment to "being male" or my genitals in particular.
    Much the same here. Frustrated by it all, I started dressing as a woman full-time, on my own, shortly before going for the therapy with a gender specialist, which led eventually to SRS. I needed professional confirmation I was transsexual, but had come to the conclusion I probably was, after nearly a lifetime of crossdressing. i also needed professional help with the process of transition, for it is too hard to do alone.
    Last edited by Beth-Lock; 01-06-2013 at 08:53 AM.

  17. #342
    Aspiring Member Janelle_C's Avatar
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    How long does it take to get rid of facial hair. I read in a post that it can take hundreds of hours. I thought electrolysis killed the hair follicle and it didn't grow back. Is laser any faster. Janelle
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  18. #343
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy Girl View Post
    How long does it take to get rid of facial hair. I read in a post that it can take hundreds of hours. I thought electrolysis killed the hair follicle and it didn't grow back. Is laser any faster. Janelle
    It does not kill at first pass. I single hair may have to be zapped up to 10 times and more, and the growth cycle of 6 weeks or so has to accounted for. It took me over 250 hours on top of the laser.

  19. #344
    Just A Simple Girl Michelle.M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy Girl View Post
    How long does it take to get rid of facial hair. I read in a post that it can take hundreds of hours. I thought electrolysis killed the hair follicle and it didn't grow back. Is laser any faster. Janelle
    OK, let's look at some numbers. A typical male beard may have up to 40,00 hairs, but not all of them are active and visible. Hair grows in cycles (dormant, active and shedding), and only the active hair follicles can effectively be killed by electrolysis.

    I have had 117 hours of electrolysis so far (total cost to date: $12,170.00 US) and I'm going in Monday for another round. By now my beard is very light; even after 3 days of growing my face out you can only see a few dark hairs but I can feel all sorts of light-colored hair stubble, so I am definitely in the home stretch.

    My first session lasted 2 days and took 18 hours, Monday I'll probably be done in 4 hours or less. I estimate I'll need perhaps another 20 hours or so to be completely cleared for good. Or, more accurately, to be cleared to the point where I am no more hairy than the typical genetic woman of my age.

    Quote Originally Posted by Frances View Post
    It does not kill at first pass. I single hair may have to be zapped up to 10 times and more, and the growth cycle of 6 weeks or so has to accounted for. It took me over 250 hours on top of the laser.
    I hate to say this but your electrologist was probably not as proficient at her craft as she should have been. If electrolysis is properly done one pass will kill one hair follicle per impulse.

    It often seems as if a hair needs several passes because that one dead follicle is right next to another that has yet to be treated, so it always seems as if you're getting the same ones done over and over. The real reason for so many sessions is that even with a total clearing (I get full face clearing each time) I may only be getting as few as 25% of my total hairs zapped, and as the number of active hairs decreases it become easier to see progress. But I had 9 or 10 total clearings before my beard wasn't such a serious problem.
    Last edited by Michelle.M; 01-19-2013 at 12:32 AM.
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  20. #345
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    This thread is finished, there is a new one started, please read the OP before posting in it
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