We had that talk we have been putting off for a long time now. She has known just a little, and we have both been a little too nervous or cautious to advance the football further.
So, this weekend, she got me drunk...and she got me to talk.
I gave her the outline at least. That seems to be all she needs for now. She knows now (and has known for a while) why I pick the female characters in every video game we play.
She knows now that this is a part of me and she was not surprised.
Her amazing quote, her wonderful and inspiring quote was both simple and incredibly insightful...went something like this (I paraphrase because, as discussed, I was drunk):
"I believe we are sexual creatures and that we all span ranges of sexuality. You are just in a unique someplace in that spectrum."
and...
"We are going to explore this. I assure you we will".
Yet, my fear of telling her was minor compared to my fear of opening up this side that I myself have been too scared or unwilling to explore for very long at a time.
She has been even more supportive, open and loving than ever since that talk.
I went to the gym today for the first time in months. I already have a plan for the 15 pounds I have put on in the last year worrying, not caring and trying so hard to let go of what I am.
Still, something tells me that anytime other than now would have been too soon to tell her. I think I was patient, patient enough for her to be ready to hear what she knew I was going to say.
Smile. I am a lucky girl indeed.
Meghan