For the last few weeks, I've been trying to prepare myself for going out in public. It's not even anywhere on a scale of what a lot of you do, and it's even in a very accepting place, but it's still terrifying to me.
A friend of mine has been urging me to come out with her at least partly dressed. I don't really dress to pass - just to wear whatever the hell I want. This week, we're going out to San Francisco, in the Castro district - probably the most accepting place in the world. I'll be wearing girl jeans (maybe a skirt.), heels, painted nails and eye-makeup. Nothing extreme. But I am terrifiiiiiiied! I've been preparing myself by doing little things like taking out the trash in heels, and each time it's gotten easier and less scary. Am I a complete moron? Sometimes I'll get a little dressed at home and look at myself in the mirror and think I look ok. And then I tell myself I'm ridiculous and put on some "normal" clothes. It shouldn't be this difficult. Grrr. Especially for something so small and so stupid.
I'm sure it'll be fine once I'm out there, and I'm sure things will get easier. but until the big moment, TERRIFYING!