Oh Cr*p that's done it!

[okanaganheather GG]

I would love to invite your SO to the GG forum to rant and get things out and to normalize the whole process...she needs some educated and some experienced help with her valid feelings just as you do!!! I would love her to know that she is not alone, just as I would love for you to know that as well.

My prayer is Love and Understanding for each of you - one to the other and vicaversa. May all the resources you each need be given to you!

Any change can be decided on how to navigate through it!!! I can say that from my personal life with Cding and other areas.

It sounds like time to grow up and get real with one another - and that is a tough but an EXTREMELY wonderful time, no matter the outcome for the relationship itself...Heres to you getting honest with her , and to each of you being willing to talk about the next moves!!!

Honesty + dialogue = FREEDOM

[Deelite]

Thankyou all for your replies!

This is why i joined a forum like this, it makes all the difference hearing experiences from you girls, and knowing that i am NOT alone.

Luv Dee.

[norbie]

Hi Dee,
What I think is you have to be honest to yourself in this case. Yes you got a relationship for 10 years - BUT you only told her a few month ago about you being CD.
It must have been a shock to her, like a cold shower.
So go very easy and very sloooowly. Don't promise anything because you can't keep it you know yourself.
If she loves you and you love her its time to sit together and work out some compromise which makes BOTH of you happy.
It will work out just be patient and SHOW her love like housework and so on...
Just my thoughts,
Love and big bear hug from Norbie

[Dixie Darling]

Dee,

Have you ever sat down with her and explained to her that your crossdressing wasn't a CHOICE that you made?

Does she understand that it's a NEED that you have just as much as she has to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc?

Is she computer literate and willing to read some information and facts about crossdressing?

I'm curious about why, if she already knows that you dress and apparently hasn't objected strongly to it as long as you keep it out of her sight and the conversation, she would come home unexpectedly with the knowledge that you might be dressed. It almost sounds like she was trying to 'catch' you doing something that she was already aware that you have been doing and that she's trying to avoid. You promised her that she wouldn't have to see it or know about it when you dressed, and yet she is aware that you DO dress when you have the opportunity, so why would she want to risk causing you to BREAK that promise by showing up unexpectedly?

Not trying to be mean here, just curious as to why she doesn't realize that your COULD be dressed if she popped in unannounced.

See if you can get her to read some of the information on my web site. MAYBE it will have an effect on the way she thinks about it.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Wendy me]

Dee. i have been fighting this same battle for a long time now my wife calls on her way home gives me some time to de wendy if you know what i mean .. for what it is worth i don't try to push the issue at all but when she brings it i say we can talk abought it not fight abought it ,.. if she has issues abought something we try to come to a understanding.. and we are makeing progress in small steps.... who knows may be one day she can accpete it ........good luck ...small steps....

[nancy58]

Dee,

I'm glad to hear you and your partner are beginning to talk about your dressing. She wasn't being fair -- but then, most people can be unfair when they're upset. My suggestion is that you continue to talk and to work out an arrangement that allows you to dress and your wife not to see you that way, if that's her wish. Not knowing about your dressing, of course, is not an option. She knows.

Part of your arrangement should be that you won't be dressed up at times she is expected home, and part should also be that she phone you (not the other way around) if she's coming home unexpectedly, or be willing to wait in the living room until you have gotten "decent" for her.

If you haven't done it, you should be sure your SO understands how much she means to you.

Do take care, and let us know how things progress.

Nancy