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Thread: Emotional

  1. #1
    Person Angelofsomekind's Avatar
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    Emotional

    I was at a funeral today. I have known the person for years, but only because of work. I was there with the people I work with (all guys) and I really really had to hold back the tears, especially when the daughter came up to talk and was crying. No one else seemed to have this problem. I looked around and it was the women who were blowing their noses and wiping away the tears. I felt so annoyed and bothered by the fact that I felt like I had to hold it back. At the end I walked up to the wife and gave my condolences and just about lost it, my voice cracked and my eyes started to water, I had to excuse myself and go to the restroom to gather myself back up. Even if it is a funeral for someone I have never met it's just the emotions of the people around me that seem to have a massive effect on me.
    I thought about it more and I get this way at stupid sappy parts in movies and things like that to, but I always feel like I have to hold it back. So I just figured I'd ask if any of you are like this? I like to think it is just my feminine side that shows more than other guys. But yea, it was something that was just on my mind so I thought I'd see.

  2. #2
    Clear Air Turbulence Joni Marie Cruz's Avatar
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    Hi Angel-

    <big hug> Like you I held back all my emotions, except perhaps for anger, which I was taught implicitly, is a default emotion for men to express anytime they feel like it. For years and years I could not cry, not just didn't cry, but couldn't. My mother died when I was seventeen and I was dry eyed through it all, everyone remarked on how brave I was...my ass...I was numb but inside I was falling apart.

    Now that I have some better connection with the feminine part of me, the real part, the true part, I cry at the drop of a hat and I don't care who sees it. Eff 'em, let them think what they want. Why shouldn't you be able to cry at a funeral, hon? That's why we have them to eulogize the dead, celebrate life, and be made aware of our own mortality, if those things don't stir the emotions what in the world can? You don't have to break down in wails and sobs, but you can still show how you feel. If anyone, male or female, is so coldhearted as to judge you for it, then the hell with them.

    Lots of hugs...Joni Mari
    "Because equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it."

    --Joss Whedon, to a reporter who asked, "So why do you create these strong women characters?"

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member dilane's Avatar
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    I've always teared up at emotional/heart-rending moments.

    I'm much "weepier" than my wife, and many women I know.

    Dont' know if it has anything to do with t-ness, though. My dad also tears up easily, and is otherwise the strong silent type.

  4. #4
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    Jini's right

    To hell with them if they can't understand a human being caring for the loss of another. This maucho crap has been blow out of porportion for so long everyone (guys) seem to think it is normal. It's not. I hate the maucho crap and wish it was never created (romance) by the insecure females who longened for her prince charming. There...I said it......

    Susan

  5. #5
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    Hey Brit,

    Yea I too get emotional at funerals, but I've never held back. One of my good friends was killed in a car crash during high school and I was bawling like a baby. I do remember getting some strange looks but I didn't care cuz he was a good friend of mine.

    I also cry during movies and such, but not more than my wife , she is really emotional but in a cute way.

    My cousin was talking on the phone the other day with me and he cried a little yet he was fighting so hard to hold back the tears...then he told me to keep it between us. He feels that he can be open with me but others would look down on him if they found out... such is life

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lilith Moon's Avatar
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    Tomorrow is the funeral of my dear cousin and childhood friend. Know what ? I ain't gonna go. I would weep like a child for missing him and seeing the grief of his family and it would not bring him back. He was only 63. I'll grieve in private instead.

  7. #7
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    I was ill some time back and it had a very profound effect on my emotional side, up to that point I had always been emotionally tough, but now I feel a lot "happier" to let my emotions go and it's funny but people just seem to be very accepting of it, well my close friends do anyway and it is them that matter, I found funerals tough before but now - oh boy!!

  8. #8
    Is it just me or......... Carroll's Avatar
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    On February 8, 2003 My mother called me and told me that one of my sisters had passed (she was 4 years younger than me) and I didn't cry. between that Saturday and the day of the funeral (following Wednesday) I didn't cry. The day of the funeral I got a little teary-eyed when I hugged my parents, but never really cried. Two weeks after the funeral, I was sitting at home, and out of nowhere, I looked at my wife and screamed at the top of my lungs "Why the f_-_ did she have die!". I cried uncontrollably for an hour. It wasn't that I was holding back all that time, trying to "be strong". I was very close to her and I believe it took all that time for it to actually hit me that she was not coming back. People grieve differently than people.
    Drumming, My other hobby

  9. #9
    Junior Member Tiffany Leigh's Avatar
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    I am also more emotionally expressive than my wife a daughter, We we in a wedding a couple weeks ago (groomsman)and it was ALL I could do not to get all teary eyed, especially when I looked across at my wife (bridesmaid) as they were saying their vows.

  10. #10
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    I am extremely emotional and cry when I'm both happy and sad. I have no problem crying in front of others. It is all just part of being me.

  11. #11
    Tricia Dale tricia_uktv's Avatar
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    Its good to cry!!!!!!
    I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
    I need to shout, to scream out loud,
    I am Tricia I am she,
    I am who I want to be

    http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/

  12. #12
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    A few months back i had to attend my friends funeral he hung himself,this idea of the "stiff upper lip" annoys me every male there not one tear,what has society become?
    The day before the funeral another friend had turned his back on the guy who hung himself because he was crying on the day he did it, the guy had come to my house unknown to me but i had to buy a freezer and was out,he was a dear friend,a gentle guy very caring and would give you his last pound if you were in trouble. I told this guy who turned his back on my buddy i don't care who sees me cry and compassion is not weakness.Sorry for the rant but i am still a little cross at that situation.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    I cry easier than most women. It's downright intrusive sometimes, but I couldn't hide it if I wanted to.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    For a man to cry is considered a weakness. But Just reading these stories, and remembering ones I have lost, started be tearing up, and the older I get the harder it is to control. I especially relate to coming apart 2 weeks after the Funeral, I have suffered that reaction a couple of times in my life, it's just easier to let it go right from the start, than keeping up that manly front.
    I am human, there for I feel, I feel there for I weep!
    Tina

  15. #15
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    I don't get to a full sob but my eyes get watery easy

  16. #16
    Silver Member trannie T's Avatar
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    As a male I am conditioned not to cry because it is not a thing that men do.
    When I am dressed I do not cry because it makes my mascara run.

    I can usually make it through a funeral without shedding tears, once I get to the car,though, it is a different story.
    It takes a real man to wear a dress.

  17. #17
    Person Angelofsomekind's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=trannie T;1879422]As a male I am conditioned not to cry because it is not a thing that men do.
    When I am dressed I do not cry because it makes my mascara run.

    Thank you, that did make me laugh.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member dilane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lilith View Post
    Tomorrow is the funeral of my dear cousin and childhood friend. Know what ? I ain't gonna go. I would weep like a child for missing him and seeing the grief of his family and it would not bring him back. He was only 63. I'll grieve in private instead.
    Lilith,

    Man up, Girl! Wear sunglasses and bring kleenexes. Show your respects and put that big bad male ego aside. Just do your best not to sob (that's my struggle at difficult times)

    -- Diane

  19. #19
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    After I started CDing,I have become more emotional and i dont try to hold it back. tears come easily even when i am watching an moving scene in a theateror on the Tv at home. CDing has brought out so many positive behaviours like empathy, being considerate etc. which i have mentioned in a tread which i had started on behavioural chanfes
    urmila

  20. #20
    Member Kristen-Gaye's Avatar
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    Well it seems we're all a bunch of sooks & I'm no different! Like you Angel I too have to hold back at funerals, even when it's someone I didn't know well. I'm much more emotional than anybody else in my family. When my oldest friend died a few years back, I was asked to do a eulogy. Very tough! As they carried him from the church I bawled like a baby! I was a mess for about an hour after. I think the older I get the more emotional I get but I think it's good to get it out & not bottle it up!
    K.
    Last edited by Kristen-Gaye; 09-22-2009 at 02:29 PM.

  21. #21
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    I cry at funerals.. Weddings... Really lost it when we put our 15 year old Dalmation to sleep.. Hell I cry when they do the reveal on Extreme Home Makeover... Lol.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  22. #22
    Super Moderator DAVIDA's Avatar
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    Sorry, I just do that sometimes!

  23. #23
    Platinum Member Charleen's Avatar
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    I choke up and cry at the drop of a hat. Thankfully hardly any one wears hats any more, just caps.
    Comfortable in my own skin.

    "Never underestimate the power of human stupidity, and never cease to be amazed by it!" Lazarus Long

  24. #24
    Person Angelofsomekind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    I cry at funerals.. Weddings... Really lost it when we put our 15 year old Dalmation to sleep.. Hell I cry when they do the reveal on Extreme Home Makeover... Lol.
    I have had tears from that show to. And I cry more when a dog dies than a person.

  25. #25
    A tea girl Ann D Bluebird's Avatar
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    There used to be a telephone advert here (UK) with the line "Its good to talk". Well in my view emotions are just another kind of talking- so its also "Good to cry" if that's what you need to express. Giving emotions proper expression is just as important as talking things out .....if not why would we need all these smileys etc when we post on the internet??.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joni Marie Cruz View Post

    You don't have to break down in wails and sobs, but you can still show how you feel
    "Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.”
    Epictetus (Greek Stoic philosopher) [SIZE="2"](who I'd never heard of either until I stumbled on the quote in "How to walk in high heels" by Camilla Morton )[/SIZE]

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