What did your wife/SO say when...

[Cathytg]

What did your wife or SO say when you told her that you are a cross dresser? Has your perception of what she said changed with time?

I told my wife about me on our second date. What did she say? "Wow! Do you have cool clothes?" It is no wonder that I love her so much.

That was four years ago. I have come to realize that she is warmly understanding and very supportive. She immediately accepted the dressing as part of who I am and kept right on developing our relationship with that as an added dimension.

What did your wife or SO say? I am not asking how has your relationship developed; just what was her initial reaction?

[michelle64]

wow!..i like that..been down hill ever sense..no not really the later.i did tell her on the very first date...

[sherri52]

You have a great wife. I've told both my wives early and still ended in divorce

[Holly]

After about an hour of talking, she said, "If you are going to do this, you are going to learn to do it right. You are going to learn to walk and carry yourself as a proper lady, do your own makeup and hair, shop for your own things and so on." Got to love her for that. She followed through, too. That's not to say she hasn't helped... she has immensely. Telling her was one of the best things I've done. Marrying her was by far the best!

[marisa]

i had the talk with my g/f after about 4 months together. honestly, that was the hardest conversation i have ever had in my life and i was almost in tears because i was so scared. all she said was " is that it". our relationship changed that day. it changed from a very good one to a super excelent one. she didn't even lay any ground rules down. god i love her.

[Joy Carter]

I know I lost her respect...............

[mskanuchi]

When I told my wife that I wanted more than just wearing panties, lot's of lingerie, wanted to start make-up, and fully dressing, she was OK with it. When we went shopping for lingerie for me the first time, after getting home and me trying on everything, she said " different, but I can get used to it". I haven't been to overbearing with everything, mostly wear lingerie every night, do my dressing in my own time. She dosen't have too much of a problem with it, she is still getting a full grasp of it all, and I give her all the room she needs to come to terms with it all. It has been good for us.

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Cathytd, I guess 4 yrs ago was the time too meet women that love us men that have better cloths then they do. My GG was in her 2nd year of her husbands death. When i told her she said so I am a New York city girl. Then she stole all my cloths, I had better fashion sense then. We are the same size in all out cloths and shoes. WE now by matching outfits as we go out as sisters she all so bought me a wig, a good one, same style and color as her hair. Life is good.

[Josie M]

Told my wife before we got married. Initially, she was relived because she knew something was bothering me for a while. Then she went through the "are you sure you're not gay?" phase.

Today, she understands and accepts my dressing, although I don't have much time for it these days anymore.

I will say this though, soon after I told her for the first time, we watched "Silence of the Lambs" together....BAD IDEA...

[DeniseCA]

I think her jaw about hit the floor. Her initial reaction was definitely disbelief, like "Are you kidding me"? Granted though, I kept it a secret for a LONG time ...

[Hope]

She said "I know, I have just been waiting for you to tell me." It really wan't a big deal. Admittedly, when we were dating, hay roommate used to call me "pretty pretty princess" because I was - well - fussy and girly. So really, it wasn't too much of a surprise for anyone I guess.

[Marcia Blue]

[SIZE="3"]I mentioned my dressing to my wife before we were married. She was indifferent about it then. I kept it hidden untill recently. We has a long talk, she browsed this forum, and is coming to gripps with it better than I thought she would. Our marriage is stronger than dressing and we are closer then ever. [/SIZE]

[Janetmichelle]

I told my S/o while we were out camping about three month after being together. She was very supportive and then she was acting a little strange a few weeks later and finally was able to tell me that she wanted to dress and act like a boy. So everything ever since has been very wonderful.

[Barbara918]

Told her on 3rd date. This was long before internet, so not much info available. This was a time when everyone believed man + dress = gay. She didnt know what to make of it, said she needed time to think. OK. week later she said she might be willing to see me dressed, so I dressed. She wasnt happy, but still ..... Allowed me to go to bed that night in bra, slip, & pantyhose. Ultimately said she didnt like it, but tolerated as long as she never had to see me Cdd again & i didnt wear her things. OK.
2 good-ish things, though -- she was able to "exact vengeance" on all men by snapping my bra straps, & the next a.m. she confessed she'd never known me to have a better night's sleep, but overall please no more CDing.

[Jonianne]

I told my wife long before we were married 10 years ago. After she asked the two usual questions, she said she needed to go think about it. The next day she called me and said she did not care what I wore, she just loved me. After that we talked about boundries and groundrules (my years in therapy weren't wasted!) and later she went with me to my first triess meetings to see what this was about. In time she was the one who took me out on my first outing saying "Joni needs to feel the sun on her face".

It hasn't always been easy for her or us, though. We have had struggles with this issue like any couples would, but the best thing in the world was telling her before we were even too serious as a couple. More than once she has looked at me with that frustrated hands-on-hip look and say, "Well, it's not like you didn't tell me from the begining!".

We always worked it out together.

[TGMarla]

What did your wife or SO say when you told her that you are a cross dresser?

I prefer not to discuss it. It's a painful memory.

[Bethany38]

[SIZE=4]When I first told my wife she went through her own questions that are the usual of the gay thing and what have you. However, about a week later she found this site for me. Don't get me wrong she never made me feel that i was weird, or anything like that. She just had to go through the processing motions. Now she is totally supportive of me and Bethany. She helps me in any way. She is not the greatest with makeup for she has never worn that much. After I have came out to everyone; my niece has come to my rescue with my makeup. All in all I wish I had come out years ago now. [/SIZE]

[Carol A]

Well I don't tell my wife my mother told her when we talked about getting married. You see I have openly dress since I was 14 and for what it was worth it was a huge turn on for my wife.

Now like Holly my wife told me if I was going to do it, do it right, we have been married 45 years now and she stills tells me if I am proper or not not and makes me dress my age.

[Sheila]

What did your wife or SO say? I am not asking how has your relationship developed; just what was her initial reaction?

I discovered my previous partener was a CDER after finding some pics on a phone he had 2 and a half years into the relationship ........... I was hurt and angry that he lied to me for so long about something so huge, something that affected our relationship, with each other and with family and friends .......... the dressing itself never bothered me ..... ( I went out and bought him some clothes the next day) .... we parted 2 years to the day after I found out after a further 2 years of deception and discovery of more lies

Debs I met here 5 months after the relationship broke up ......... we marry in just over 3 weeks and are having a confirmation ceremony on Dec 1st ( a year exactly to the date our relationship started), where she will wear a wedding gown.

Two different tales, two very different relationship, two people very much in
love

[Laura_Stephens]

My wife said, "I feel like I'm going to throw up." Things went downhill from there.

[SherriePall]

Well, it was not pretty. I blurted it out (apologies to any who have already heard this). She cried, asked the two questions. Cried some more and left our bedroom.
Couple of days later she calmed down a little. Since you only asked about the initial reaction, that's my story.

[Lorileah]

I believe her words were to the effect "why would you WANT to wear that? It isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but if that's what you want, go ahead."

[JenniferR771]

My wife used some vile profanity when she caught me in her clothes. I said I had a "secret hobby". She has a negative attitude. Homophobic, maybe. But she has gradually accepted tiny bits of my "hobby". Allows me to keep 6 dresses in my closet--provided they are in garment bags. Rearranged my 10 wigs craming them into two small boxes. She doesn't mind that I have many more dresses and numerous items in my garage storage. She knows the names of a few of my cd buddies, and this month for the first time she read a few sentences on this forum site.

[Alice B]

After several long discussions and study of reading materials I provided she decided that it was OK that I wanted and needed to dress. She made it clear that she did not want to see me dressed. Over the past few years she has become more and more accepting, has bought me ear rings, etc. Lets me buy all the female clothing I need, lets me wear panties 7/24, keep my toe nails painted and legs shaved. But still does not wish to see me dressed for any length of time. I can live with that.

[sissystephanie]

I told my late wife when I asked her to marry me! She looked me in the eyes and said, "Do you go out in public dressed as a girl?" I told that I did not, because I was no good with makeup or fixing a wig. She laughed, and said, "Well, I will take care of those problems! You can be my girlfriend as well as my husband!" We had over 40 years of happiness together before I lost her to cancer!

The secret to success in this kind of relationship is to constantly let your wife/SO know that under the silk and lace, you are still her man!! Sure worked with my wife!!