What particular aspects of your cross-dressing are you currently "working on"?
I go through periods in which I concentrate on some particular aspect of my dressing, such as trying out a number of different varieties of something to find what suits me, or building up my confidence and "naturalness" with regards to that aspect by repeated practice.
A lot of people take their cues from you yourself, and if you are feeling self-conscious about something, or if you haven't done something enough for it to have become "second nature" to you {yes, yes, double entendre noted}, then the way you carry yourself or the way you move, or if you "check out how it looks" too often, then people will notice that "something isn't right". When people notice that you are male, whether they consider it "weird" or "unnatural" depends upon what you project about it being natural and normal. So sometimes you have to deliberately practice something, or deliberately push your comfort boundaries until you get to the point where it is comfortable and normal for you.
Aspects that I personally have been working on lately are:
- wearing more obvious earrings and more traditionally feminine earrings, such as larger hoops or earrings that dangle lower, or pearl dangles. Some of what I've worn might normally be hidden by my (long) hair, but especially when I move around at work, the momentum of their movement would tend to bring them into view. I know that my more-obvious earrings are not going completely unnoticed, but I've worn them often enough now that me wearing them is just part of the "flow" of me, not important to anyone else because the naturalness and self-acceptance within me is picked up by other people.
- wearing a soft lipstick in to work. I don't mean a "very pale shade", but when I don't use the lip-liner and when I only put the lipstick on the lips themselves (no "over-drawing"), it gives some colour to my lips without being obvious that it is Makeup. Without the lip-linear, Yes, the lipstick does wear off (especially if I have something to eat); I may or may not refresh it. Once I've put it on before going in, I don't worry about whether it was "too visible" or whether it has worn off enough to be "safe" to go into the hall, and so on -- and yes, I've gone to talk to people right after getting to work, when the lipstick would still be there. A GG who was Wearing Lipstick would probably use a lip-liner or use a longer-lasting (less creamy, more waxy) colour, but my purpose at the moment is not to become the company Guy Who Wears Lipstick: the purpose is more to get me comfortable with routinely wearing some lipstick, including around people who know me.
- Over the last couple of weeks, I've been working on wearing forms at work. Not every day, and perhaps only my smaller forms, and I do sometimes still "chicken out" and remove them if I think I'm going to be dealing with my boss -- but still I'm wearing them when I'm interacting with people at work, and I wear even the larger ones until I get to my individual office, not covering them up or putting an obstacle in the way if I stop to talk to someone on my route upstairs.
- Over the last few days, I've been working on going out with a more obvious bust -- with no wig (but shoulder-length hair). Male face, but clearly femme clothes, very light makeup, and with my bosum about as obvious as it would be for a GG who was not choosing to minimize theirs (e.g., T-shirt or sweater instead of covering with a jacket.) Note that I didn't say "with a bigger bust": it isn't the size of the form that has changed, it is the extent to which I am letting other people be aware of the shape, by choice of fabric and top design. If I am going to go "public" as androgynous, then I am going to end up in more situations in which people are aware of my bust (and I'm still considering hormones for breast growth, and I do not rule out implants.) When I talked to human resources at work, HR thought it would likely be easier for people to accept if I started off with forms and had people adjust to that before I switched to obviously-female clothes. Even if my gender therapist agrees, the question would still remain "What size of forms would I wear at work, knowing that they would be noticed?" Which is going to depend partly on what size I can wear with confidence and naturalness... which, for the larger forms especially, is going to depend upon practice and self-pride. C-cup forms are pretty much invisible on me unless I am wearing something specifically tailored to have "pockets" for the breasts, or unless I am wearing something more form fitting like a stretchy shirt... and C cup forms are much smaller than "feels right" to me. The professionals tell me that they are unrealistically small for my body size and projected "presence", that I should about an F or G cup. Start small and shrug off comments with "Yah, so what?" and eventually switch, or go right into the the size recommended by the professionals... I don't know the answer, but in the meantime I'm working on becoming more natural and less self-conscious about perceived bust size. (And I'm also discovering the "joys" of trying to run for the bus when your bust is bounding up and down
)
What do you find yourself concentrating on or "practicing" lately?
Apart from that I'm comfortable with how I am.
kerryann
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Originally Posted by Denise Rhodes
Nothing with my look...
