How do we as people, wether you want to use labels such as cd,tg,ts,straight, gay, lesbian, bi, (if I forgot one please excuse and forgive as I am currently suffering from insomnia for the last 5 days & nights) find acceptance, not from the outside world but from the inside?
My wife knows , accepts, & often encourages my dressing. But I still have pangs of guilt at times. Guilt that I didnt tell my wife sooner, guilt that dressing is wrong etc. Even though I know intellectually that there is nothing inherrently wrong in it, I guess subconsciously I am still having guilty feelings over it.
Maybe it goes back to my dad and when he found my stash. He never caught me dressed up, but he did make me strip in front of my family and put on a pair of panties, afterwards giving me a beating then making me burn the stash while he watched. Thats just one of the times he found my stash. I don't blame him for the way he reacted to it, he was just doing the best he could to stop what he thought of as deviant behaviour I guess. I'm not saying that the way he reacted was the right way, just the way he thought would be effetive in making his son a "MANLY MAN".
Sometimes I think my head is going to explode in trying to come to terms with this. Does anyone else feel this way?
I wish that I didn't feel so guilty at times.
I wish that I could be as strong as the rest of you girls are.
I wish.
Madison